mochi1239
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Joined 07-15-09, id: 2008680, Profile Updated: 07-21-12
Author has written 2 stories for Hetalia - Axis Powers.

HELLO welcome to my profile!

most people think i am shy because i don't talk to people other than good friends

I zone out when reading or writing my friends usually have to yell at me to get my attention

Welp since you're still here let me tell you a little bit about myself.

Age: A number.

Sex: I AM THE MOST FEMININE WOMAN LADY YOU WILL EVER MEET!

Orientation: Meh.

my stories always look so much longer before i put them up on fanfiction why is that?! :(

All will become one with mother Russia da?

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

If your day isn't complete until you've terrified a complete stranger, copy and paste this into your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

Whatever happened to common sense, weird labels on products:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

never knock on deaths door, ring the doorbell and run away death hates that.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.
"5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

read this if you are against homophobia.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I wanted to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the child I bore, nursed, and raised. The court said I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I and the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treated me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the girl who is always crying herself to sleep at night because I am afraid of my mother finding out just exactly who I love with all my heart.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Just What You're Looking For 2 by Roxi2Star reviews
Hell yeah! It's back for a second go with all new Sexy Naughty Nosebleed inducing things
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,611 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 4/1/2016 - Published: 4/13/2012 - Spain, S. Italy/Romano
Fidelitas by General Kitty Girl reviews
Breton birthed and Dragonborn destined; Arthur is a man of great power and forever lusting for more. It is a fine line between being the hero of legends or the nightmare of a nation, and Arthur chooses his side based on the rewards to be gained. This is a collection of tales from the combined universes of Hetalia and Skyrim, all of which are USUK/UKUS in origin. Discretion advised.
Crossover - Hetalia - Axis Powers & Elder Scroll series - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 19 - Words: 72,900 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 293 - Follows: 269 - Updated: 2/14/2015 - Published: 2/15/2013 - England/Britain, America
Building Blocks and Condom Boxes by SYNdicate 930 reviews
AU. Romano, a young kindergarten teacher, is finding it increasingly hard to come up with rent money by the ends of each month now, so he decides getting a roommate to help alleviate the stress of paying for everything himself would be the best solution. However, all he needs now is a solution for handling his new roommate, Antonio, the pornstar. HIATUS (info on why on profile)
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 64,517 - Reviews: 635 - Favs: 571 - Follows: 737 - Updated: 6/15/2014 - Published: 7/8/2012 - [S. Italy/Romano, Spain] [France, England/Britain]
Not just a fling by chaoshead13 reviews
Alfred F. Jones is a student model who loves the attention his job gives him. What happens when a certain person in his new school not only doesn't fall for his charms, but finds him irritating as well? AU USUK
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 92,378 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 528 - Updated: 5/29/2014 - Published: 2/11/2011 - America, England/Britain
People Change by Awesome Empress reviews
"Oh Dear Jesus Christ! Is that Arthur? The hot punk I met in highschool? He looks so different! He's still as hot as ever! Even though he talks and dresses like an old man. Must be a University thing. Le Sigh " A.U In modern times
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,552 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 1/31/2014 - Published: 6/19/2012 - America, England/Britain
The Gentleman and The Hero by Teenage Mouse reviews
World Academy students have been paired up for an anonymous email exchange program, so they can talk to someone about school and personal problems in private. These are the emails of two students nicknamed 'The Gentleman' and 'The Hero'. Gakuen AU, email.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 57,732 - Reviews: 1177 - Favs: 1,675 - Follows: 691 - Updated: 6/3/2012 - Published: 1/15/2012 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Novelty by Thisbey reviews
Alfred F. Jones is the most homophobic boy to ever step into Le Monde Academy. This all seems to change however once he befriends a certain Brit. USUK, rated M for Homophobic bullying, smut and langauge. AU USUK
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,087 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 260 - Updated: 5/9/2012 - Published: 8/12/2011 - America, England/Britain
Noticing the Unoticed by KidoTaka reviews
Matthew Williams is never noticed by anyone, finally someone notices him and it is the awesome Gilbert. Is an M for self-harm, It has some swearing. Main couple is PruCan.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,865 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 3/27/2012 - Published: 10/20/2011 - Canada, Prussia
Hetalia Academy by residentklaouw reviews
Everything starts when the new italian brothers arrive to Hetalia High school and find that they like their teachers more than they should GermanyxN.Italy, RomanoxSpain, GreecexJapan, AustrixHungary, AmericaxEngland, PrussiaxCanada.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 71,432 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 2/26/2012 - Published: 4/18/2011 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
I Wish You Knew by FrenchFryLovesYou reviews
not long after America joins WW1, Arthur overhears Alfred saying that he knows Arthur hates him. He has excepted this fact and doesn't even think about it any longer. The truth is, that Arthur has always loved Alfred. Now he wants to make things better.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 19,722 - Reviews: 210 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 10/10/2010 - England/Britain, America
Just What You're Looking For by Roxi2Star reviews
Just what you're looking for. Smutt/Lemon Bondage, Role Play, and other sexy, naughty, nosebleed inducing things
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 26,161 - Reviews: 497 - Favs: 491 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 2/4/2012 - Published: 9/1/2011 - Spain, S. Italy/Romano - Complete
Alois Trancys Super Fabulous Amazing Diary by kaaaaarl reviews
Entailing everything from his crush on the gorgeous Claude, to his hatred of that hoe Hannah, and all about his super rival Ciel. Read all his ramblings, and how his hair is so much better than the triplets,as it is of course, 'shinylicious'
Kuroshitsuji - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 23 - Words: 16,851 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 12/4/2011 - Published: 1/29/2011 - Alois T.
That Sinking Feeling by BoundInSkin reviews
It's a normal day at the pool, until a certain Canadian boy who can't swim falls into the water. Enter Gilbert, the world's most reluctant hero. PruCan multi-chapter, rated for strong language.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,414 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 9/3/2011 - Published: 1/21/2011 - Canada, Prussia
Artie the Vampire Stayer by keiminnn reviews
When Arthur Kirkland, an occultist and practicing wizard, conjures a vampire, he finds his beliefs challenged. But this vampire plans to surprise his summoner in more ways than one. USUK, AU
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,673 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 8/21/2011 - Published: 8/18/2011 - America, England/Britain
Rescued by chibi-excel reviews
An Italian boy, who was sold off to FEMALE pirates to pay off his parent's debts, end up being 'rescued' by the most notorious pirate on the sea; Antonio Carriedo. Spamano, PruCan, GerIta, UsxUk, SeborgaxSealand
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 22,884 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 329 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 5/6/2011 - Published: 2/8/2011 - S. Italy/Romano, Spain - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Always Forgotten reviews
He was always there but never seen, always kind but never remembered. He was always quiet,always invisible,and always forgotten. The story of Canada not being able to handle being alone anymore: Rated T for launguage, and character death
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,980 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/27/2012 - Published: 2/15/2011 - Canada
Heat Haze Days reviews
A normal summer day for Mathias and Lukas; a normal, torturious, neverending summer day. If the one you loved was fated to die in the never ending cycle of the Heat Haze how hard would you fight to change it? DenNor, Rated T for character death. This one's for my friend Hummus!
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,013 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Published: 5/27/2012 - Denmark, Norway - Complete