![]() Author has written 5 stories for Twilight, Naruto, and Harry Potter. (¸.•´ (¸.•´~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer Age: 16 Gender: Male Name: Because you NEED to know that, yeah? ...HI AMY IF YOU EVER GET MY NAME OUT OF ME ^^ 6 Truths. 1)You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue. 2)all idiots, after reading the first truth, try it. 3)The first truth is a lie. 4)you're smiling now cause you are a idiot. 5)You will soon paste this in you're profile 6)Theres still a stupid smile on you're face Just For Fun 1. You go to a party, sit down 2. You haven't played solitaire 3. The reason for not staying in 4. You'd rather look all over 6. Your evening activity is sitting 7. You read this list, and 8. You think about how stupid 9. You were too busy to notice 10. You actually scrolled back 11. And now you're laughing at 12. Put this in your profile if now a test Let's find out just how clever you really are... Ready? GO!! (scroll down) First Question: Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK? Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person? You're not very good at this, are you? Third Question: Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add an other 1000. Now add 10. What is the total? Scroll down for answer... Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe. Fourth Question: Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Okay, now the bonus round: A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. He just has to open his mouth and ask... OK STORY TIME!! A girl and a guy were speeding over 100 mph on a motorcycle. Girl:Slow down, i'm scared. Guy:No, this is fun. Girl:No it's not, please, it's so scary. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl:I love you, slow down. Guy: Now give me a big hug She gave him a big hug Guy:Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself, it's really bothering me. The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the breaks weren't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. So, he had her hug him and tell him she loves him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live, even if it meant that he would die. I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. Haha. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods.. On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Stuff I thought was funny! When Obama tells his children to clean their rooms, he ends with, "I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message!" I used to care, but I take a pill for that now. I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. When life gives you lemons throw them back and demand vodka. Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. I'm the kind of guy who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. "Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown “When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. "We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do." Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder. My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marshmellows and flirting with the firemen. I ran with scissors, and lived! I'm not prejudiced...I hate everyone equally. If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. Borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back! There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that can't. Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that Random fact: Jesus's 'Christmobile' only appeared in two of the four gospols BEST FRIENDS N FRIENDS: (some of these are from a girls point of view) FRIENDS:never ask anything to eat or drink BESTFRIENDS: Help themselves and is the reason you never have any food FREINDS:Call your parents M. Mrs and grandma and grandpa BESTFRIENDS: Call your parents MOM and DAD GRAMS AND GRANDPA FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying DAMN we screwed up FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night BESTFRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process FRIENDS: Never seen you cry BESTFRIENDS: Wont tell anyone else you cry... just laugh about it when your not down anymore FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you BESTFRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your bestfriend FRIENDS: Will say you can do better BESTFRIENDS: Will call him and say"you have seven days to live" FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying BESTFRIENDS:Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry FRIENDS: Will help you move BESTFRIENDS: Will help you move a dead body FRIENDS: helps you up when you fall BESTFRIENDS: continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?" FRIENDS: gives you their umbrella in the rain BESTFRIENDS: takes yours and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!" FRIENDS: wipes your tears when your rejected BESTFRIENDS: goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?" FRIENDS: will bail you out of jail BESTFRIENDS: would be in the room next to you saying, "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!" FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number BESTFRIENDS: Has you on speed dial FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later BESTFRIENDS:Loses your stuff and tells you, "my bad .. heres a tissue" FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life FREINDS:Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door BESTFRIENDS:Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME" FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell FRIENDS: Are through high school /college (drinking buddies) BESTFRIENDS: Are for life FRIENDS:Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough BESTFRIENDS:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass FRIENDS: bail you outta jail BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them BEST FRIENDS: kick your ass and all's forgiven FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (don't ask you don't want to know) BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you FREINDS: Will ignore this BESTFRIENDS:Will repost this crap. Man "Haven't we met before?" Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man "Is this seat empty?" Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?" Man "Your place or mine?" Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Man "But I don't know your name." Man "So what do you do for a living?" Man "What sign were you born under?" Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason" Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." Man "I know how to please a woman." Man "I want to give myself to you." Man "I can tell that you want me." Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?" Man "Your body is like a temple." Man "I'd go through anything for you." Man "I would go to the end of the world for you." That is called a wall. but beware the wall is solid. yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me, for i have attempted this many times before. "Clear as pea soup!" (\)_(/) i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you have an iPod and love rocking out to it, post this in your profile. If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile. Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile. If you complian that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you dont just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile. If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile. If you get way to excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile. If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. |
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