Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter, and Twilight. Hey guys! I'm Natalie and I live in the Great Land of Oz. Australia for all you who don't know or don't have a sense of humor. Anyway, I don't see myself telling you my age or anything else like that so... yeah. I'm a pretty boring person, who is very good at annoying people. Thought this was hilarous! Just had to post it. You Know You’re Australian If... You know the meaning of the word 'girt' 2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn 3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin. 4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse. 5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden 6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school 7. When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom? 8. You understand the the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds. 9. You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin' 10. You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff' 11. You believe the 'l' in the word 'Australian' is optional 12. You can translate 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas' 13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep 14. You call your best friend 'a total idiot but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a idiot 15. You think 'Woolloomoloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place 16. You're secretly proud of our awesome wildlife 17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a 1 coin that is twice as big as a 2 coin. 18. You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but that 'Woy Woy' cannot be called 'Woy' 19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread. 20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis. 21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course. (Umm, what else do you use beetroot for? Anyone who isn't Australian, please answer that.) 22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angel's song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again' 23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the 'Wagon Wheel' has become smaller with every passing year. 24. You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'. 25. You wear ugh boots outside the house. 26. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name, the more you like them 28. You find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language. 29. You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while a 'scuse me' is always polite. 30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose. 31. You understand that the plural of 'you' is 'youse' 32. You know its not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle. 33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for Beach Cricket. 34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call ANZAC biscuits. 35. You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours' 36. When returning home from overseas you expect to be brutally strip-searched by customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit. 37. You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered. (Jeans work too) 38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction. 39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer. 40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second. 41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the governments new test for migrants. 42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber' 43. You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto etc. 44.You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o: arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto etc. 45.You know that backyard cricket is a nice way to bond with family and the rubbish bin. There’s no lbw in backyard cricket, and over the fence is out. And the ‘one bounce, one hand’ rule always applies. 46. You know that there is a universal place called “woop woop” located in the middle of nowhere… no matter where you actually are. 47. You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes so bad. But we let the world think we do anyway because the joke’s on them. 48. You know that Americans think we’re all Steve Irwin clones. And crikey, they couldn’t be more wrong. 49. You have the ability to compress several words into one - i.e. “g’day” and “d’reckn?” This allows more space for profanities. 50. You’ve ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet - to mean good. And then you place “bloody” in front of it when you REALLY mean it. 51. You know that the barbeque is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. And the women make the salad. 52. You’ve sucked your tea/coffee/Milo through a Tim Tam and you call it a Tim Tam Bomb or a Tim Tam Slam. 53. You see people walking bare-foot on the sidewalk and don’t scorn…. because you’re doing it too. 54.You know that Burger King doesn’t exist. It’s Hungry Jacks. 55. We know that the Metric system will always be better than anything inches, feet, pounds and fahrenheit will ever offer. 56. You know that you can’t eat Fantales alone… Otherwise who will you play the ‘Who am I…’ game with when you’re reading the wrapper? 57. You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer. Maybe even as perfume 58. You know that we are home to the just about all of the world’s deadliest of animals. That’s why if anybody messes with us we’ll get some funnel webs on their asses. 59.You know that in summer a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron. 60.You know Australia IS the best bloody place on earth. Bar none. 61.There is no such thing as AC/DC, only Ackadacka. 62.You discover that you can get sunburnt through your car window. 63.You develop a fear of metal car door handles. 64. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am. 65.Reese's cups have the trading value of black market kidneys 66.McCafe - enough said 67. You have encountered spiders larger than a small dinner plate - and lived to tell the tale 68.You have spent evenings chasing spiders the size of dinner plates down the hallway with a thong in your hand. Hmm, what to say. Okay, so. Um. I follow horse racing. And NO, most of the time it is not cruel. But, I am glad that they are banning Steeplechasing here. Yes. I dare you to rebut that. Okay, my all time favourite racehorse is Ruffian. Yes she died before I was born, but I really don't care. Google her. TV. I often watch Bones, NCIS, The Mentalist, Customs, Border Security (Don't judge me!), Heartland, and random stuff like that. |
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