Prowlin' Beast
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Joined 10-02-11, id: 3306209, Profile Updated: 09-29-16

Well, here you are, ain't you? Congratulations.


Have the stones to read my profile before you bother me, because I've responded to most of your arguments here. If you insist on being a bug in my bonnet, you will be dealt with like an insect.


For quite some time, I've had nothing on my profile. Due to the fact that some Authors on this site are so parchment skinned when they get a simple, honest critique, or are asked to remove the unsavoury elements of their story (that clearly violate TOS) acting as though I've slaughtered their children and bit the heads offa their pets, I've decided to make a few changes. I'm thinkin' about addin' a Wall Of Shame for the particularly persnickety little boils that like to pester me...so I'm in Beta right now. See below.

Understand ONE thing, if you will understand nothing else: you come at me swinging, I will swing back and likely connect. You wanna talk it out? Let's dialogue, Baby. I'll let you have your say, but have the guts to not run and hide behind a block once you bark at me; that just shows me that I'm correct and you're a thin-skint little juvenile.

I am a reasonable animal. Sometimes.

When I feel like it.

For those who wanna show me what tough guys they are by breaking out their Badword!ALLCAPS pen, I've been inspired to adjust my profile accordingly, thanks to all the morons who're just dying to showcase their stupidity!

Chances are, it was one of my less-than glowing reviews that bought the Author of said crapfic, or one of those thick-lipped, mouthbreathing White Knights come to give me a "piece of their mind". A suggestion:

Save yourself the trouble, as you cannot spare what you do not have; if you're here to defend some Author's badly written and revolting Kiddi!Fap (the kinds of stories that will incur my ire), you would do well to simply accept the fact that what you like ain't everyone's cup of tea, and that a normal and healthy mind finds the idea of combining children and intercourse in any format reprehensible.

FFDotNet FORBIDS the publishing of graphic sexual content on this site. It's against the Terms Of Service, and the specifics are in the Guidelines. So NO "MA" Content is supposed to be published here, PERIOD.

That means, if you want to write about some graphic and sleazy sex, you shouldn't put it here. It is against the law to knowingly provide persons under the legal age access to pornographic content of any kind.

I also like to go after stories that badly butcher Canon, the English language, or the basic principles of writing; if you cannot respect these rules and publish accordingly, kindly do not publish your dreck, as it takes up space and bumps down a potential good Author that does care about writing with skill to a lower spot in the queue and quicker onto page 2. Try reading your Guidelines and TOS to see how FFDotNet expects you little monkeys to behave; you agreed to abide by the rules to publish here (and again, when you actually go to put a story up!), now be the "mature" person you imagine yourself to be, and honour that.

Another pet peeve is those what can't seem to keep their story line straight. If you can't be bothered to pay attention to what you write, why do you demand praise for it? Worse, why do you get all pissy at me if I pay attention? If your Miracle!Sue/Stu is so super-powerful, and you cannot keep track of/or add to their powers and abilities as you go along to the point where your missive is nothing more than a long and rambling series of "Watch My Guy Be More Amazing Than Canon!" and you've muted Canon to a filthy grey smudge on the wall, then you will get, and deserve, my wrath. This can, technically be included with butchering Canon, but doing so with a Sue/Stu gives it merit as a separate subject.

Free Speech is a right granted to ALL persons, including those who do not agree with you.

"OMG--Dun't liek, dun't REED!!" is not a defense, but if you use it, bear in mind that the same rationale applies to my reviews: you don't like them, don't read them and move along silently to another spot, 'coz I don't wantcha to be bunchin' your flies by me.

"You've got no stories! You can't review until we see PROOF that you are better!"--Not a defense, and can be approached from many different angles:

One need only read my reviews and (now) my profile, to see clearly that I'm fairly able to produce something of written clarity, and to get a point across. If you miss that, the fault lies with you and not me, and that's your problem and your Parents' shame.

I'm not flawless, but I do try to tend my work; it's a matter of self respect, and has nothing to do with you or your perception of me. I don't have to prove anything to you. This is a public site, which grants license for public review. Since Authors beg for reviews like a Jonesing street whore, I'll give one, it's gonna be honest, and I don't care about your precious little feelings. I don't care if you care about me or mine, either; I will lose no ease knowing I have "offended" you. You do NOT have a "right" to not be offended, I am NOT politically correct, if you don't like that, tough.

Why would I publish my work to a site that asks me to surrender my creative license to any third party who might like my work? When I write, I invest in my work, and I'm not gonna be a free writer for anyone. To you good Authors out there, take note: your time and energies have worth. Protect your stuff. Being able to make a living as a writer is tough enough without having someone come along and steal your hard efforts and claim it as their own.

On a general note, when it comes to PLAGIARISM, there IS NO TOLERANCE. I see you stealing the creativity of another, I will make it a point to bring the hammer down on you. No exceptions. Even if you're swiping a lousy fic, you should come up with your own ideas. If you're too uncreative to produce your own, you need to find another hobby.

Additionally, to those who insist I lead them to my written work, the answer is simply a resonant "no". You wouldn't like to read it because it doesn't feature poorly written accounts of cartoon children having impossibly unrealistic sex and besides, you'd only revenge-flame just because you can. Little kids don't like it when I lift the rock and shine the unblinking Critical Eye on their filthy little doings, much less when I report the crapfic and it "mysteriously" vanishes.

I'm not a Chef, and I don't own a restaurant, but I can say whether or not the food I consumed in an establishment was good or bad. Do you think all the food and wine critics that write their reviews own vineyards and eateries? No...they have a refined palette.

The same can be said for a discerning reader.

I don't own a movie studio or produce movies; I can say a movie was bad or good. What production company is owned by all those critics out there?

Finally, what publishing company do YOU own, that gives you the right to classify the crud you defend as good? I'll bet that would be a goose-egg, wouldn't it? If you are a publisher, and you applaud the kinda stuff I flame the hardest, you don't just deserve to go out of business, you deserve a prison term in some isolated state prison somewhere, where everyone's bigger than you, and treats you like the children depicted in these stories. Let's see how hot you find it then.

So there you have SEVEN perfectly logical and reasonable explanations to a defense you really cannot lay claim to. Might think I've done this before...hmmm...

"I've been here longer, I have followers! You have nobody!" (Appeal to "popularity".)

The folks I like, are kept safe from the Drama Generating Stupidity associated with my tendency to be brutal to the fragile-minded and morally weak, thin-skint little brats I like to expose. Additionally, I don't need others to fight my battles--it's not their job--I can kick your ass all by myself. My cave's littered with the bones of you flaccid White Knights. I've got enough for a couple chess sets up in here.

I've likely been reading and writing longer than you've been occupying the space of a Useful Contribution To Society (that means "a person"). I've had a lifetime of great and awful experiences, I'm an avid reader, and I'm told by those who have read my work, that I'm a pretty decent writer. I've written eulogies and poetry, wedding blessings that left the House with nary a dry eye. Even made my reptilian Aunt weep like a baby. It's a nice testimony, but in the end, I'm just a hobbyist with a good education and a voracious appetite for morons.

That is actually worth something, and I've made a decent living with my life so far. Each new day is a new hill, a new horizon!

If you really believe you're truly "popular" because of the"quality" of your "work" (please note the excessive use of quotes; I'm being condescending.), stop writing "lemons" and "limes" (why don't you mental midgets call it what it is, for goodness' sake? It's porn, plain and simple! Is that so you can hide it from Mommy and Daddy, should they stumble into your e-mail or text messages? Or does it let you feel like less of a pig because you dwell on cartoon children doing the nasty?). Seriously. Stop writing filth and only produce clean stuff that's funny and witty (okay, now I'm just being cruel).

Watch that popularity dry up like a sip of water on a metal picnic table in August. Those that claim they like "all" your stories...look at which of your works gets the most views. You're whoring yourself out to kids who're too lazy to write for themselves...all they gotta do is burp up something like 'OMG HOTTT!!!111!!!!!!eleventy-one!! Update plZZZZZZZZZ!". Bet that's a real feather in your cap.

"You're crushing the Author's right to Free Speeeech!"--Upon signing up to publish on this site, one agrees to honour the Rules (TOS) and Guidelines.

Failing to do so only demonstrates the Author's inability to not only comprehend what they read, but it also demonstrates that their word is worthless.

Why is it that you Kiddie-Diddlers can't wrap your head around the fact that lying about your intent to join a site to publish pornography for children is NOT protected under "Free Speech"? Why is it that you little sticky-fists don't get that "Free Speech" applies to everyone, and not just you/the people that agree with and praise you? That's right! People who disagree with you have rights too! Ain't that a bummer?

Are you aware that in every Country, the "rights" of Children are limited? For example: kids can't buy Tobacco, Alcohol, Firearms, fireworks, get a Concealed Carry Permit, Vote, read and or have access to "Adult" content, get a drivers' license or have a checking account or a credit card; they cannot sign a legally binding contract (without parent or guardian consent). There is a reason, and the best simple explanation to grant is that this is because Children do not have the mental tools to be expected to be responsible for these things. They have their little tool box of coping mechanisms, and none of them are meant to handle adult tasks.

The adults that provide kids access to these things by letting them have their way so they can be viewed by a bunch of little kids as a "cool" adult are responsible for tremendous harm. Don't believe me, kids are smoking younger, experimenting with drugs younger, and the drugs out there aren't like the homegrown from the 80's. The old guy who was "nice" and got the keg for the teens down the street? He's just as responsible for the 14 year old girl who was roofied and raped at the party...but he just wanted to "help the kids have a good time", so I suppose a dead 14 year old is no sweat, right? A "bump in the road".

The Dad who lets his teen son read the dirty stuff he beats it to lowers his Son's perspective of him as a man, and teaches him that women are willfully used as sexual objects that don't need to be anything but horny, mindless and beautiful (sound familiar, "harem fic" dipsh*ts?). That women should be viewed through the airbrushed ideal of beauty that no natural human being can achieve without modification and torture.

Where are the "feministas" and Social Justice Warriors who claim they're "strong" on their positions? You know the ones! They write their Mary Sue as tadpole Tupperware for their favourite fandom, and literally leap at the chance to heckle and flame Christians--but don't have the stones to say anything about women's rights or or social disparity with certain other religions that view having sex with kids, animals, and their dead wives as perfectly acceptable. These are the ones that howl about how cruel Christianity is for saying "I don't agree with being homosexual"--yet they turn a blind eye to the fact that homosexuals in the Middle East are burned alive as they are hung from cranes. *Nothing to see there!*

These are also the same that have no problem with women being treated as objects--especially if it puts the "feminist" in a position where they have to do more to defend that position over and above whining online from their hugboxes. To you all in particular, I can only reply: "May you be blessed according to your measure."

The list is endless. But back to my point, that the rights of children have limits...

This is because, no matter what your "feelings" or "friends" tell you, unless you are over eighteen, you're a child and by law, restricted from certain things--in some cases, up until you're 21. Yes, I know you rail and stamp and kick your little feet thinking that life is, "liek, soooo unFAAYur!" In a perfect demonstration of the stuff in your toolbox and your skill to wield it--your "Maturity"--but that's how it is.

Once again, and I will never fail to repeat it: Free Speech works both ways, even if you hate my opinion. Feel free to further demonstrate how mature you are by blocking me, this ain't my only account. I will always be watching; Semper Viglio. Bear in mind, too, that if you send me a letter highlighting your ignorance and lack of logical reasoning, that blocking me from responding will prevent me from seeing and enjoying your rage. Yet another demonstration of your impotence.


Or you could be like Jeannenobunaga (now going under these accounts: CherryBloom123, IHategruvia, NotToBeMessedWith1, and Tragedy Yvetal) and block me, only to unblock me long enough to cry at me about something I said that she doesn't like--and then quickly block me again before she can get a response. Her style of debate is to slam a door in your face, only to open it and pule, "I'm not a [negative term] whatsoever, you are a [negative term]!" (In essence, she just places "I'm not, YOU are!" with whatever you said, as she lacks ANY form of creativity 'whatsoever'.) And slams the door again. It's as copy and paste as her pitiful fourth-grade "erotica" (that's FAR more funny than it is 'sexy').

Jeannenobunaga (Her name is Kayla, the strike-through accounts deleted or changed) claims she is 23 or 24. One of the very first to ever get on my blocked list. I finally had to block the dumb twit because talking to her is like trying to reason with a parrot. Clearly, she is too much of a mental infant to accept that others have their say, content to hide behind blocks because she has no courage or coping skills. This is what mentally immature little children do.

She has a White Knight buddy who goes by "xXNightWatcherXx" (Powerword: Sharlotte, now known as: GodzillaSavior and SpringtrapxNightmare) and had a sub account "GuardianxAngel" who likes to resurrect dead arguments and stir up sh*t. They like to pat each other on the butt, as apparently there's only a couple friends in their sad little echo chamber. She's 17 and won't hesitate to let you know how much she needs attention by "threatening" to "Leave DA!" (at least once a every few weeks), in order to curry favour from her handful of asspatters. She likes to talk tough but the minute she gets in over her head she BAAAWWWWWs like any other Tartlet. (At one point she even faked an attempted suicide, and got on as her friend "Amanda" just to stir up sympathy for her main account posing as a "friend" giving "updates on her condition". When the IP Ban hit, oddly, "Amanda" vanished just like Sharlotte's other accounts had!)

Also a writer of ridiculously bad porn, this Genius claims that she "does NOT write porn for children!" (Likes to take references from my profile and denies seeing the rest, where the RULES are clearly bolded and defined so they stand out. She also likes to "borrow" the art of other artists (she "forgets" and "intends to" ask or to give the original artist credit) on DA, and trace, in so much as that she had to deactivate her account and hide among her many, many subaccounts--just like Kayla.) Yet she had stories on here giving extremely graphic accounts of (laughably badly written, physically impossible) sex between Ninja Turtle-Brothers.

She refers to herself a "a helluva Christian" and yet she can't even be honest with her friends, hiding behind accounts on DA to "defend" her main account with mentally deficient logic. Since her IP address got banned, all those "friends" mysteriously got locked out, too. Egomaniac enough to have even created her own "Fans of Scuzz Lupus" group on DeviantArt. Yup. "Helluva Christian", Sharlotte.

Yet I could point anyone and everyone to her "M" rated stories (now gone!), which contain plenty of graphic sexual material that looks like it was written by a 10 year old that cannot spell and has no clue as to the actual concept of intimacy, much less the experience of a sexual encounter. She writes minors having sex. If they're gone, FFDotNet's doing its job and they have my gratitude. :)

She also claims that FFDotNet permits pornographic material. If that's the case, what you worried about, if you don't write it, hunh?

It's as though "Sad" and "Pathetic" got together for a filthy one-night-stand and vomited these two onto the planet.

Oh--and then there's this:

"You further agree that you will not, in connection with User Submissions, submit material that is contrary to the FanFiction.Net Community Guidelines, found at https://www.FanFiction.Net/guidelines/, which may be updated from time to time, or contrary to applicable local, national, and international laws and regulations."

So what do those Guidelines say? Why, here you go!

"Please note FanFiction does not accept explicit content, Fiction Rating: MA, and the rating is only presented for reference."

So yeah, y'do publish porn for kids, on a site that forbids it. Thanks for playing.


Those who make it a point to harass for no reason other than to harass, their letters will find the deletion bin and they will be quickly reported. I actually have better things to do with my time.

"It's a PARENT'S responsibility to make sure their kid can't get on sites that contain adult content!" (Ah, a special bowl-ingot who failed to consider the delicious irony of this statement gave me this one, and I just had to share it. I LOLed So. Freaking. Hard at the fact that this guy just pointed out that he represents a living testimony to bad and negligent parenting!)

Many parents don't know sites like this even exist. They see their kid reading about cartoon characters, and like most adults that operate with a full deck, don't envision that their child is enthralled by Aang getting beastf*cked by the Fire Dragon and loving it, "harems" of genderswapped Poke-things getting porked by an Ash Ketcham with "Raging Hormones, rippling muscles, jet black hair and chocolate brown eyes" (this was written by a guy--get outta the closet!), and Digimon raping their Stewards, much less the disturbingly stupid and bubblegum-pink Anime-cliche sexual fantasy written by some parchment skint YuGheyOh loser who has spent unhealthy amounts of time on the Internet. And writes about some chick flickin' it while sniffing a teen boy's dirty underwear.

To the morons who use this defense, how vigilant are/were YOUR parents? They pay for your Internet, and likely the computers and phones you use to access it and assume that their little doe-eyed poppets aren't being naughty little brats and hiding in the basement firing off knuckle-urchins to thoughts of Naruto. They provide this for you at their expense, and demonstrate reasonable expectation that you will use it with some sense of responsibility.

The fail, then, lies with YOU, not them. Assume the mantle of responsibility and once again, try to live up to how "mature" you think you are. This is your testimony, that given a chance to demonstrate how trustworthy you could have been to your parents, you used that opportunity to betray the trust you were granted. That rests exclusively at YOUR feet, so stop trying to shift the blame to your parents. You are responsible for yourself.

Looking in your tool box, you have a hammer; when all you have is a hammer, all of your problems tend to look like nails. Real adults have more than a hammer in their tool box. You'd be surprised how many we accumulate, quickly, when we have to watch out for ourselves and others.

My tool box is a Snap-On cabinet with bearing-led drawers and smooth rolling wheels. It contains a fair stock of tools.

"You Sir, are a(n) a-hole, prick, c*cksucker, some other filthy name..." I've been called many, and an Ad Hominem is the best way to show the person you're responding to what a reasonable and completely-in-control-of-your-little-feelings 'Adult' you are. *Snickers!* No, not really. It's a great way to show from the get you don't really have an argument or a reason, you're just mad and wanna vent. It's cool. I'll just prod you with my spear as I sit upon the rock and look down upon you as you spin, tantrum, rave and snarl. I may even grace you by spitting bits of the apple or whatever I'm munchin' on upon you as I enjoy the show.

For those of you who claim you have some "Capital Letter Malady" (ADD/ADHD/PTSD/OCD/OMGWTFBBQ), I do not care. I do not care if you are dyslexic or suffer from depression. I do not give a flying f*ck if you call yourself "autistic" or if you claim you have "Asperger's syndrome" and are of the "high functioning" variety.

If you haven't been diagnosed by a professional and declared, you have no right to take up space from those that are legitimately afflicted. In fact, you cause harm to those who are, and you jade the views of others you dump that bullsh*t on, to justify your FAIL.

PROTIP: "Attention Deficit Disorder" doesn't mean you need to get more asspats and ego-strokes from your amen-puppets--that is, that you need to get speshul treatment because you're a special little snowflake and you need MOAR attention because of raisins. If you haven't been diagnosed by a professional and declared, you have no right to take up space from those that are legitimately afflicted. In fact, you cause harm to those who are, and you jade the views of others you dump that bullsh*t on, to justify your FAIL.

Even better are the f*cktards that address me this way and then pipe up stuff like "Now you have to be civil to me, because I won't abide a crude argument. Here's what you should do: Keep it all to yourself. Don't launch into tirades, hurl insult after insult at us, and go running off to report us." You First. Oh--and Freedom Of Speech, B*tches.

Something that might be useful for you to know: in order for your opinion to have any impact, your opinion has to matter to someone. I have zero respect for anyone who peddles sex to children, and I really don't dig the paedophiles that use children as sexual targets.

If you read about, write about/publish, and enjoy the concept of children (even fictional ones) in a sexual context, or defend the work of someone who does, you are considered paedophilically attracted. It is a mental condition that needs addressing by a therapist.

Don't believe me, ask a therapist. Be sure to print up copies of the real stuff you read on FFDotNet and let the therapist get a gander--better still! Take them to your profile hot n'live, let them see your favourite Authors and let them read your reviews of how you loved it when one child was violently raped by the Villain or some mystic animal, or how hot a 20 year old man rutting on a 12 year old boy is and how you fantasize about animal-ass and "yiffing". If the Therapist clears the calendar for a special appointment just for you, it's not 'coz you're a Speshul Li'l Snowflake and they Wanna Build A Snowman.

"You're killing the Author's Creativity!"--Sunshine, it was DOA. Any moron can write bad pornography, the mechanics are basic, all it has to include is huge parts, and no matter what, both parties always get off spectacularly. That's the formula.

Secondary formula: "Rape begets Lurve" this is best popularized by Starscream (usually TF:Prime, but G1 is also common). He gets a female (often a teenaged human) whom he somehow magically transfers her to a robot shell, or just makes her big enough that he can rape her. She offers virtually non-existent resistance and is the QUINTESSENTIAL Mary Sue, and after she's left full of his robo-goo, she realizes that she's in love with her rapist, who will eventually return her love--in the form of tawdry and poorly idealized "intimate scenes".

This is not "creativity". Rape doesn't lead to love, unless the woman has been worn down and kept isolated from reality (usually by a perpetrator that took her while she was a small girl--hello, paedophile!) to learn and understand otherwise. You can find cases like this all over the Internet, and it's a popular subject on Law and Order, SVU. They write it better, even if the ending is tragic, and they neither want nor need your help. You'd likely ruin it anyway.

"YOU'RE the reason all the good writers are leaving the site!" Not really. If anything, bad fanfic is the reason "good Authors" are leaving this site. They get to watch as dozens of poorly composed plotless stories written by self-absorbed review whores invade the space where they post their work, knocking it down in queue so quick they don't get a chance at any real exposure. This is unfair to those who actually DO care about the Craft of writing, and take the time to represent accordingly. You little poke-diddlers and urchin-fappers rob real talent of its right to shine and be seen.

I've actually considered talking to FFDotNet about creating subcategories: "Authors who Care about the Craft" and "Review Brothel" Good works will be prominently featured and given place on the front page, and the mindless drones can sleek into the door right by the dumpster for the stuff the paedos like. -- I Like It!

For those of you in particular that use the first chapter of your stories to make your little "Get to know my Mary Sue/Gary Stu" 'spec sheets', or have the temerity to post something like that as a stand alone "fic", then you are among the worst of the offenders, and are violating TOS and Guidelines. Read Them, and FIX the matter, 'coz if I find you, you will be reported.

"The site's motto is 'Unleash Your Imagination'--you are denying us as writers and readers of what we see as imaginative works!"

The very site's TOS says your "imagination" has to abide by a set of rules and guidelines. "Horny" and "Lonely" doesn't translate to "imaginative", unless you find a healthy outlet for these feelings. Might I suggest volunteerism? Or are you too much of a selfish little twit for that? You'd be amazed at how getting an active personal life and social exposure to interesting people doing something OTHER than thinking about how OMGHOTT it is when Jack Darby gets loud, sloppy (and poorly idealized) oral sex from June Darby (his freaking Mother!), "hotdogging" his "meat pole" and finishing it up with a "loud gulp" (that's quoting one piss-poor Author, using some of the terms he used).

You'd be even more impressed how eventually, the preoccupation with thinking about cartoon sexcapades withers in significance, when you form and establish real friendships in a real world, not just agreement-driods, fan-brats and ass-patters who have even less of a life than you. Seriously: all these morons have to do is vurp up seven letters of praise, and your stupid ass will generate pages of chapters for something half of 'em just highlight their positive statement, copy, and paste. How much more is their life, that all they have to do is render up insincere paste-a-praise, and you'll sit and stew in your filth (begging for more) for their entertainment rather than rise above it.

You people say I'm the one who's the "no life loser". Keep telling yourself that. LOL.

"It's just' fantasy/fanfiction, m'kay? The characters are not real!" They don't have to be real to be an influence in someone's mind. Just the mention of Optimus Prime can fill a person's mind with the stalwart countenance of a Hero, an idyllic figure, and a baritone voice that can make women swoon.

Steve Blum's Starscream can send shivers over some women who like a plotting and sinister type, those who appreciate a beautiful Aerial form and the way he can execute a Transformation when he's motivated is brilliant. He is the first Starscream that I can honestly say is genuinely 'pretty' (even if I loathe the character's cowardliness and hubris, Mr. Blum does him perfectly), and he's a pleasure to look at--as are all of the TF:Prime Characters. Same with IDW and G-1: they all have their charm because we can relate to the characters, and we see in them attributes we either admire or dread. I read on Tumblr how a woman's best memory of Megatron is when Prime went to go after him for taking some Iacon Relic; the line was a chiding "uh-uh-unh," while he wagged his sharp fingers at Prime to discourage pursuit. The re-blogs that got was pretty hefty. I can enjoy characters in a story context that has no sexual content, because their personae carry them, but a part of me likes the idea of a relationships in the TF-Verse, such as between Prime and Elita, or Arcee and Springer or Rodimus, Ironhide and Chromia...and a few others. It does appear in Canon.

Their voice actors invest years of effort in developing the voices that add that third dimension and put them in your head, and I don't think it honours any voice actor when I see some of the sordid stuff written about their characters that gets posted here. So I report them. I will stand and defend the beaches against the onslaught, no matter how big you think you are, I'm big enough that I can injure your numbers and I know how to go for the marrow.

This is so with ANY fandom. Kids read on this site, and the "M" category isn't to be filled with smut. I see it, I report it. I'm not an "FCC Attack Dog" (thanks to the mental lepton who submitted that, it still makes me chuckle at how little minds think they are so significant that the world is out to get them), nor do I work for FFDotNet in any capacity. I'm a parent, and I cherish a child's right to remain innocent and to love his or her favourite character for their personality and their character, not because they wonder what it would be like to watch Starscream rutting on the bruised and beaten fleshy carcass of a Teenaged Miracle Sue.

I want kids to admire Naruto's irrepressible attitude, his goofy shtick, and his pat anime-humour, the wonderfully rich and developed writing style of the Avatar Series and Legend of Korra. Kids don't need to think about sex, and least of all, with or about other kids and adults/animals/ AS animals/Pokemon. (We're back at how kids have limited rights for a reason). I'm not stupid, because I know kids do muse on sexuality; problem is, you scuzz balls have no business filling a trough with your filth and telling them it's "creative license". It is not. You're a sorry individual who writes porn for kids because you cannot function in adult social circles, and likely divulging your thoughts and your fanfiction would leave you a pariah. Rightly so.

You write for kids for the same reason the homeless guy agrees to go in and get ciggs or beer for the teens: he gets something out of it, be it smokes and a beer or being told how awesome he is for being a "cool" guy. Kids are easy to impress, wanna trust and be included in what they view as "adult things", and the socially inept (that would be you, badfic/Kiddi!Fap Review-Whore Author) seek these out and use them as a "social" circle online because one doesn't exist in reality.

"This is my style/I write how I want!"

This is MY style, I report who and what I want. Rules tend to agree with me. As do the rules governing writing. If you suck, and I tell you so, it might just be true, and I'm gonna give you a good, hard critique to shake your tree of all those dead branches and rotten fruit so that the energy only supports the healthy and good growth. I'm not a Beta because I lack the kind of gentleness that cares about preserving the delicate emotional matrices of Precious little Snowflakes.

"I'm typing from my PHONE, huh'kay? If you really wanna see my good stuff, go to *some website*."

First World Woes. What an argument! The keypad on most touch-surfaces and the slip out kind that hides behind it are all pretty much the basic QWERTY input interface. I love how these spoiled little rodents completely diss what they likely threw a tantrum for to get for Christmas or whatever, and nagged their Folks to buy for them, plus a data package, and accessories...only to further bemoan what they could never afford to get under the same circumstances out there in the real world, paying for it themselves. Take that to your Folks and let them know your views--a good parent will strip you of all your little tecchie goodies and kill the Internet, or make it so hard for you to access anything but educational websites, limiting it to 8 p.m.--half an hour before your deserved bedtime. You poor little babies...nothing's your fault, is it? Ah, Public Schoolin'...engineering more and more generations of mindless little automatons who believe they should be forever supported by someone, just not through their own hard work and individual independence and personal responsibility.

"My keyboard is broke/computer's got a virus/spellchecker doesn't work right!"

Blaming the tool for the ineptitude of the person wielding it is akin to hitting your hand with a mallet because you keep touching yourself. If you think you're "Mature" enough to run with the Adults, then you better be prepared to deal. Accept responsibility for your bad work and work to improve it.

More often than not, I find the trouble lies with the ID-10-T interface between office chair and keyboard.

Proofread, get a Beta that knows what they're doing. This is a writing community and you can benefit from it by developing a talent if you work at it, or you can be like any of the swarming masses of badfic writers that pollute and rob good Authors of their right to shine. May the world bless you similarly if you do not care.

The Publishing Interface here has a working Spell Check function, so if yours doesn't work, this one does. Get off your lazy rump and proofread/correct your written work.

It all depends if you wanna dedicate yourself to developing a skill, or just being one of the droves of review-whores and Mary Sues that will garner my attention with badfic, or some White Knight Moron that will rush to defend BadFicAuthor and make the mistake of approaching me. Better be prepared.

Oh, and yes, getting in the last dig, then blocking is a GREAT way to show a "flamer" how mature you are. Like many others, I just laugh and enjoy the show, go on to another account...lather rinse repeat. I'm...not the only person on this site that feels this way, just like I'm sure you child-fappers feel pretty comfy in your little womb of friends.

Finally, if you believe that you have been just SO wronged by some big!bad!Jerk that's tattled out your buddy, get a copy of the story that got reported and show your parents what you read. Show your whole Family. Have Fireside Readings and Camp Circles, and share the latest "lemon" produced by your favourite Paedophile Author (be certain to include good clear pictures with the Characters' ages and their relationships within the context of Canon). Share it at work, and make sure your boss gets a copy, and ship one off to Corporate and show them what their employee-of-the-month gets off to in their private time.

Might give 'em some insight as to why you wanna work in the Toys and Games Section.

If you are unwilling to grow a REAL set of your own and man-up to defend some kiddie-diddler's filth in the Real World (essentially doing what is specified above), then shut the hell up and shove your nose in the trough with the rest of the swine, where you belong. You will be summarily rounded up in due enough time and dealt with.

*Will be edited as I see fit.*

Okay, to those of you who DO write the good fics, I'd personally like to commend you. No matter what fandom you write to, the fact that you love the characters is evident through your writing. I will not hesitate to leave praise, even if the works' a little imperfect, and while my delivery isn't always gentle, it's honest. I don't mind an OC, as long as she or he works in the story's dynamic, and especially, if s/he isn't a Mary Sue/Gary Stu. I'd point some of you out here in my profile, but that would likely bring these other Authors' fanbrats to you, and I won't let them harass you because I have respect for someone who really wants to write.

I'm not a fan of First Person, and I loathe stories that feature constant POV jumps. if I see these, but your work has promise, I will be sure to point it out. Believe me--if I like your work, I KNOW you are smart enough to pull it off. Don't be cheap, segues aren't that hard.

Third person is actually easier.

I love imaginative and clever prose, I like work that intuits that the reader knows the characters and their background, and respects that. I like how some writers can add enough science in their story to lend weight and credibility not to just the work, but again assumes the reader is intelligent and worth including a more rounded explanation.

May all the good Authors and Writers unite and push out the endless droves of the cancer festering like cellulitis just under the skin of what could be a decent writing community, may the talented live long, prosper, and help other writers grow. Pass the torch, illuminate the path...it's your duty.

*Will be edited as I see fit.*