I Eat Teh Pussy
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Joined 12-30-08, id: 1787218, Profile Updated: 12-30-08
Author has written 2 stories for SpongeBob SquarePants.

Hey fuckers. It's IETP here, rocking FFN with the awesomest lemons you'll ever read.

SpongeBob is basically the fucking shit, man. He is a fucking pimp! If I wasn't a guy, I would totally fuck that.

Well, okay, I'd probably fuck that anyway. He just looks so fucking tight. DAMN!

But Sandy . . . shit, man. I wish beastiality wasn't fucking illegal, ya know, man? Fuck, I would FUCK HER SHIT UP!! I would eat her out so fucking hard!

Damn, nothing tastes better than a nice goddamn pussy, ya know? Juicy!

SpongeBob/Sandy . . . love that fucking pairing, man. I don't care if you assholes think that's unmanly of me or some shit because I'm not talking romance. I wanna see those two go at it! SHIT!

But I'm not anti-slash or whatever the fuck that gay shit is called. I mean, fucking a guy would be just like fucking a chick up the ass, you know? I fucking love anal sex! So fucking TIGHT! As long as she doesn't shit on your dick, right? Hell no! Don't be brownin' my meat!

So I think Squid/Sponge is pretty fucking sexy, ya know? Not so into the Pat/Sponge thing, because my buddy and I are pretty tight, ya know, and he wanted to have sex with me once, and it was just too fucking awkward, man. I don't want to go there.

But Krabs/Sponge? Classic, man! I would fuck my boss for a better paycheck, ya know?

So that's basically all you need to know, hoes. Anyone wanna fuck? Hit me up, man, I'll give you my cell number. We can get together and get it the fuck on, ya know? 18 plus, though, ladies. I don't wanna be locked up again, ya know?

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Mine's longer! What would NPH do? by Homicidal Ovary reviews
When you're young and gay, the possibilities are endless! Patrick teaches SpongeBob a "lesson" about being too prideful when it comes to *cough* certain things... *cough cough*
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 736 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Complete
After8 by Band8PGeek reviews
For once in his work-life, Squidward was overpaid. Slash. Title has nothing to do with it.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 588 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/24/2008 - Squidward, Mr. Krabs - Complete
Lunch Break by 00DeadAccount00 reviews
Sandy comes in to eat lunch with Spongebob at the Krusty Krab, and Mr. Krabbs and Squidward observe. The pairing is SpongebobxSandy, but it's not real heavy. Oneshot.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 803 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/23/2008 - Complete
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Heaven is for Queers reviews
SpongeBob and Patrick die after paying Squidward a visit one night. How will they ever get back home? Chapter 1 up, please read and review. I'll return the favor.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Spiritual/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 519 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/13/2009
Juicy reviews
SpongeBob and Sandy get it on. But a surprise visit from Patrick changes things.
SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 842 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/6/2009 - Complete