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![]() Author has written 4 stories for Teen Titans. OK, I've been away for a long time, and my writing has come to a standstill.It's not that I can't think of anything to write, it's just that I've been flooded with new comics and new ideas so fast that I'm having trouble keeping it together. It sounds like an excuse. It is. Guess it would be prudent not to expect any new stuff, I think I'll be more of an infrequent writer. Though I won't give up on the stories I've already started, I'll finish them one day, I swear. ...Damn, I sound like a half arsed prick. I am a 20 year old guy living in Auckland, New Zealand (and no, New Zealand is not part of Australia, nor is it in Africa) with nothing better to do than to write a few fanfics every so often. My hobbies include watching cartoons, studying history (you wouldn't believe the kind of crap humanity's been up to), reading and playing strategy and shoot-em-up games like Civilization 4 and Halo. Favourite Cartoons: Batman (the 1990 series), Teen Titans, The Simpsons, South Park. Favourite Movies: Blazing Saddles, Full Metal Jacket, Pulp Fiction, The Dark Knight, The World's Fastest Indian, The Seven Samurai, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (to name but a few). Favourite Games: Halo: Combat Evolved, Halo 3, Civilization 4, Grand Theft Auto. Favourite Bands: Disturbed, Split Enz, Crowded House, Linkin Park, E.S. Posthumus (Pompeii is epic!) Favourite Books: The Art of War (by Sun Tzu), Brave New World, Frankenstein (no, it's the name of the scientist, not the monster), Nineteen-Eighty-Four, anything by Alan Moore or Geoff Johns. As for pairings (which 95.555 percent of fanfiction authors seem to be obsessed with), I am firmly into the canon from the comics. Also, I am not as shamefully obvious about them like many writers (though I may drop subtle hints if I don't throw it into the open). I also like reviews. I always seek to better my skills as a writer. The whole fanfiction system mutually benefits everyone: I critique you, you critique me, we all get better. Hope this sates your curiosity about me. If you have any questions, feel free to send me a message. Current Stories: Winter's Fury: The Teen Titans encounter a new villain calling himself Frostbite. What starts out as a bank robbery begins to snowball from there. Now complete. Born to Kill: Deathstroke: My take on Slade's origin story. In-Progress. God's Gift to Beast Boy: One-shot where God grants Beast Boy one wish, with expectedly hilarious results. Inside Belle Reve: A peek at the next wave of psychos that are about to make the Titans very miserable. In-Progress. And now for something entirely inappropriate... Okay, I know exactly what you're thinking... Actually, no, I have no idea what you're thinking. I've set up this little ranting spot for me to routinely vent some highly volatile and suppressed opinions and points of view in a remote corner of Fanfiction where no one will ever get offended by the things I put up. Makes perfect sense. Ratings are going to go through the roof. I'm a genius! Now, I proudly introduce to you (and disown completely): Sensationalist Bull#&! Now, the first (and so far, the only) topic I'll be heaping hot, steaming piles of shit upon is about... Alan Moore bashes Blackest Night. That's right, you read correctly, Alan Moore, author of critically acclaimed comic book hits The Swamp Thing, Whatever Happened to the Man of Tommorrow?, Watchmen and V for Vendetta has lashed out at DC's epic summer storyline Blackest Night. Then again, he attacks DC every second day because they keep pinching his superhero toys and lunch money, so what's the big deal, Mr. Moore? I was noticing that DC seems to have based one of its latest crossovers in Green Lantern based on a couple of eight-page stories that I did 25 or 30 years ago. I would have thought that would seem kind of desperate and humiliating, When I have said in interviews that it doesn’t look like the American comic book industry has had an idea of its own in the past 20 or 30 years, I was just being mean. I didn’t expect the companies concerned to more or less say, “Yeah, he’s right. Let’s see if we can find another one of his stories from 30 years ago to turn into some spectacular saga.” Hmm. Seems fair enough to me. I mean, has anyone seen the Titans comics? ...No one? Good. That book should be pushed far to the back of the comic racks, to never see the light of day again. Besides Moore, you should be flattered. Basing a massive event on just two measly eight page comics of yours from the Eighties? That's a testament to your sheer artistic pwnage. If DC can do that with just two tiny tales of yours, who knows what'll happen if they base their entire DC Universe upon the harsh, gritty, realistic, angst of your greatest hits?! ...oh, huh, huh, yeah. Whoopsie. Okay, DC hasn't had an original idea in thirty years. As far as they're concerned, it's all about the glory of the psychedelic and heavily overrated Silver Age, mixed with realism that's been plagiarised from Alan Moore. Alrighty, Moore. Hit the invective. Serve those shameless DC nostalgics! We are seeing the death of comics publishing as we know it. Amen, bro. I tend to see the people who run the comics industry as being largely like some variety of tapeworm or some other parasite. But, they’re not very good at it. Any self-respecting tapeworm or parasite never kills the host. Actually, hookworms are parasites that kill people...after about 25 years... so, yeah. Comics ideas now come in one end and dribbly shit comes out the other. They're dead inside. There was something poignant about that that was almost saying perhaps superheroes would have been best left in those three decades—the ‘40s to the ‘60s—where they made sense and where they were most at home. Alan, have you seen what happened in the Sixties? The time when villains just annoyed people with outlandish pranks and heists without mindlessly butchering thousands? Spiderman webbing onto clouds with artwork that looked as though it was on LSD? Adam West busy emasculating Batman? How does that make sense? I increasingly get a sense of the comics industry going through my trashcan like raccoons in the dead of the night… That’s a good image, isn’t it? They weren’t even particularly good ideas. Did... did you just call your own work garbage? Oh, fuck. I... I'm crushed. So..., all those wonderful, brilliant stories you wrote were all... refuse? Fit only for the DC raccoon burglars? You've... broken my nerdy fanboy heart... you arrogant, English sasquatch! I wasted half my life reading your crap! I'm never buying your angsty shit again! This is even more shattering than the time Gerald pulled a Ratner! Journalist: Mr. Ratner, how is it possible for your jewellery company to be selling such an exquisite sherry decanter for only four pounds and ninety-five shillings? Gerald: Because it's total crap. Journalist: Gerald: My company also sold a pair of earings for under a pound, which is cheaper than a shrimp sandwich from Marks and Spencer, but probably wouldn't last as long. Way to go, Moore. You've just committed financial suicide. You think DC's thievery was bad? Wait till everyone stops buying your works and your remaining royalties dry up. Well, look on the bright side. You won't ever go hungry. You have all that tasty, nutritious garbage you made in the Seventies and Eighties to sustain you. Just remember to get some mouse traps to ward off those rabid raccoons who also need it to survive because their native creative woodland habitats have been cut down to mass produce your shit. |
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