NabooTheEnigma
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Joined 09-28-10, id: 2557331, Profile Updated: 10-21-10
Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter.

MUAHAHAHAHA!

I AM HERE TO DESTROY ZIS 'CANON' YOU SPEAK OV IN ZIS HARRY POTTERRR. MOI END MON RAMPENT PLOT BURNNIES VILL TAKE OVER EEEVERYVERE! AND I HOLD ZE SITE HOSTAGE FOR *pinky in mouth* ONE MEELLION REVIEWS.

Now thats out the way, welcome to my humble abode. Mon name is Caroline, or Me as I refer to myself as. I live in the illustrious United Kingdom, and because of the bloody Royal Mail I never got my Hogwarts letter. :( I have turquoise colour changing eyes and shiny mahogany ha- *beats mary-sue to death* Ignore that, they sometimes get onto my page... As said above, all these rampant plot bunnies are finally being let lose out of my occlumency shields to roam free on this page. They will occasionally form themselves into words and become stories/oneshots/crackfics.

o0oOo0o

I, MeTheEnigma, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read,

Regardless of the number of reviews it has, its age, or anything else.

I have joined the Review Revolution.

o0oOo0o

PET PEEVES ( Not the poltergeist :( )

Slash Harry/Draco/Snape/Voldemort/Dumbledore/Ron/Dobby ect.

I'm sorry, but really? I'm not a homophobe, but really. There is a point in fanfiction where if you are being serious, its gone too far. Let me get this clear - HARRY.IS.NOT.GAY. Now, to be honest, there are a few extremely good slash/Harry fics out there. But none of them should EVER involve any of the above listed. REALLY. I aim to destroy canon with my bare keyboard, but unless Snape/Draco is bff's with Harry from the start, its a bit ehhhhh. And please god do not make me read the Harry/Dobby slash again...

Scheiße Spelling/Grammar

Please people. PLEEEEAAAASSSEEEE. I beg of you. Learn to spell and construct proper sentences before venturing onto the big wide internet. There are sometimes I could reach through the screen and strangle someone. If its a troll, most of the time I can work it out. But sometimes...

Flames

These... things people call reviews... I don't cry and scream if someone reviews my story badly. Its those people that can string two coherent sentences together that I will read their reviews and respond to. OMFG THIS TING SUKS DIK is the kind of reviews I delete. Writing coherently my story is getting clichéd, sure, I'll respond and try to fix. Typo? Sure, I'll fix. Bad idea? Don't like the couple? Good. Thank you for telling me.

Mary Sues

AGGGGGGGGGGGG.

Thats pretty much it. To be honest, I love reading super!Harry stories. But, sometimes it goes from 'I can do wandless magic with ma saving people thing but I still kill people and get angry' to 'I can do wandless magic and can make goblins my friends and make friends with eeveryone and never, EVER cast dark magic.'. Yeah. Speaking of goblins...

Harry becomes BFFs with goblins

AHHHHHHHHHHH! NO!!!! NONONONONONO! Goblins are not like House Elves! They do not fall over the second they remember their name! NO!!

o0oOo0o

THE BASICS:
Name:
Caroline, but call me Me :)
Age: 13 years, 10 months, 3 days
Month of Birth: December
Siblings?: Two extremely irritating bothers.
Parents still married?: Nope.
Occupation: Full time pupil, and part-time cripple.
Do you like your job?: FFFFFFFno.
Languages?: Fluent English, little bit of Latin, and about three words of French from two years of it.
Pets?: None
Hair colour?: Brown (Soon to be blue!)
Eye colour?: grey/blue
Shoe size?: 4
Tattoos?
: Nope.
Piercings?: Ears
Current mood: Pretty chirpy. (:
Current wardrobe choice: PAJAMAS :D
What are you listening to?: Corner, by Allie Moss
Who did you last speak with on the phone?: Hmmm, my dad.
What do you currently smell like?: Apple shampoo

LAST:
Movie watched:
Monty Python, The Meaning of Life
Magazine looked at: Reading my mums chat magazine out of boredom...
Thing you ate: Costco hot dog
Book you read: Before I Die by Jenny Downham. MUST READ!
T.V show watched: Robot Chicken. Awesome.
Time you cried: Reading BLast night.
Got a real letter (snail mail): Two weeks ago.
Ate at a restaurant: Around three months ago. Best. Ever. Restaurant.
C.D you bought:
Lungs by Florence and the Machine.

WHAT IS/WAS:
Best thing to happen today?:
I finally got a hold of the laptop. It's been a slow day. :)
Your most prized possession: MY sand turtle toy
Your first vehicle: A bicycle?
Your current vehicle: Parents cars lol.
Your favourite quote: I have loads but the one that's screaming at me right now is: He who smiles in crisis has found one to blame.
Your bedtime (average): 10pm. This is the time i'm in bed at. I write or read waaay past this time.
Your best trait/characteristic: Hmmm. Haven't got the foggiest.
Your worst trait/characteristic: I can be very stubborn sometimes. Okay. All the time.

DO YOU:
Store things under your bed: Yep
Daydream: Do i ever stop?
Have a computer at home: About five now
Live in the city, suburbs or country: Suburbs
Live in a home, apartment, mobile home, etc: House.
On a cell phone: Yeah, read ff on it :)
Have a good luck charm: Nothing
Collect anything: Dust lol.
Attend High school or college: SECONDARY School
Make good grades: Sometimes... :S

HAVE YOU EVER:
Had a surgery: Appendectomy
Had teeth pulled: Not yet.
Broke the law intentionally: No... I'm so boring.
Ran away from home: No though i have considered it.
Broken a Bone: Never! *touches wood*
Cheated on a test/exam: Not that a remember
Had a friend pass away: I've been lucky so far because i haven't.
Been in an auto accident: Nope. *touches wood*
Lied to someone: Is this even worth being a question?
Been lied to: Hell yeah. Who hasn't?

YOUR FAVOURTIE:
Place to Be: Harlequin (Shopping Centre)
Place to Visit: America?
Place to chill: My bedroom.
Non-alcoholic drink: Apple juice
Alcoholic drink: I don't drink.
Type of food:
Spicy food?
Meal/Food dish: Chili :)
Dessert: Del Monte Mango Smoothie
Shampoo/Conditioner: Alberto Balsam
Toothpaste:
Colgate?
Salad Dressing: Honey Mustard
Ice Cream: Ben and Jerrys Chocolate Fudge Brownie :)
Fast Food Establishment: Sizzlers.
Colour: Blue
Season: Winter
Holiday: CHRISTMAS :D
Perfume/Cologne: Karma and Lush
Video Game: Viva Pinata and Sims 3 :)
T.V show: Medium :)
Smells: When something's baking.
Article of clothing: Hoodies.
Book: I have no idea. I've read too many to choose.
Children's book: Dunno...
Candy: Softmints... mmmmm
Car: Mini Cooper :)

DO YOU BELIEVE:
In Karma: Yep :)
In God: Bloody hoping, but not really
In Heaven and Hell: Yes. I'm hoping to go up when the time comes...
That aliens exist: And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space, 'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth. :)
That ghosts exist: In some ways, yes.
In horoscopes: No, but it doesn't stop me from reading them :P
In others you know: The FSM :)
In yourself: Yes.

YOUR GUY SIDE:

~You love hoodies.
~You love jeans.
~Dogs are better than cats.
~It's hilarious when people get hurt.
~You've played with/against boys on a team.
~Shopping is torture.
~Sad movies suck.
~You own/ed an X-Box.
~Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
~At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
~You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
~You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
~You watch sports on TV.
~Gory movies are cool.
~You go to your dad for advice.
~You own like a trillion baseball caps.
~You like going to high school football games.
~You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
~Baggy pants are cool to wear.
~It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
~Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
~You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
~Sports are fun
~Talk with food in your mouth.
~Sleep with your socks on (sometimes)

Total= 13

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

~You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
~You love to shop.
~You wear eyeliner.
~You wear the color pink
~Go to your mom for advice.
~You consider cheerleading a sport
~You hate wearing the color black.
~You like hanging out at the mall.
~You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
~You like wearing jewelry.

~Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe~Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
~You don't like the movie Star Wars.
~You were in gymnastics/dance?
~It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
~You smile a lot more than you should.
~You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
~You care about what you look like.
~You like wearing dresses when you can.
~You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
~You love the movies.
~Used to play with dolls as little kid.
~Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
~Like being the star of everything

Total= 8

o0oOo0o

COPY AND PASTE (because I couldn't resist)

The Top 100 Things I'd Do When I *ahem* If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No," and shoot him. On second thought, I'll shoot him, then say, "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess/hansome prince, we will be married immediately in a quiet, civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large, red button labeled, "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisers will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of a cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 1:17 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence, "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisers, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her family in the blink of an eye.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mindset.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line, "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, naked mole rat, or whatever sickeningly-cute, little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the alluring rebel and they claim they are attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray their companions if I just let them in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say, "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an adviser says to me, "My liege, he is but one person. What can one person possibly do?" I will reply, "This," and kill the adviser.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says, "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say, "Oh well," and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However, before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child adviser will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisers ask, "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment Room.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable super-weapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisers assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old adviser can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror, "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be, "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the twelve Stones of Power on the sacred altar, then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of, "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I capture the hero's super-weapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unraveled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstances have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

o0oOo0o

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
That's orbiting at nineteen miles a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see
Are moving at a million miles a day
In an outer spiral arm, at forty thousand miles an hour,
Of the galaxy we call the 'Milky Way'.
Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
We go 'round every two hundred million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth.

o0oOo0o

Big Harry Potter Survey Thingy

General

Are you obsessed with Harry Potter? Yep

Could You Prove That Statement In Court? What do you think? :P

Do You Know Any Of The Characters Middle Name’s?
 Hells yeah!

What’s Hermione’s?
 Jean (NOT *$%&ING JANE! J.E.A.N. GET IT *£&^ING STRAIGHT PEOPLE!)

What’s Ron’s?
 Billius

What’s Harry’s? James

What’s Ginny’s? Molly

Have You Seen All The Movies? All of them so far!

Read All The Books? Are you stupid or what?

What Do You Think Of JKR? The woman is a GODDESS! Siriusly, when she donated money to MS research (my mum has) I wanted to find her and hug her even more than usual.

Favorites

Weasley? Fred and George

Character, Overall? Dobby (cried so hard when he died)

Female Character? Luna

Male Charcter? Sirius

Group Of Characters? Marauders

Adult? Tonks

Professor?
 Remus Lupin

Ship? Can't decide, so many!

Spell? Imperio, if it wasn't so unforgivable

Sweet? Chocolate Frogs! They're FREDDOS!!!!

Place? The Forbidden Forest.

Weasley Twin? Gred. Or Forge. Either one. YOU CAN'T MAKE ME CHOOSE!

Shop? Ollivanders

Least Favorites

Weasley? Ginny. Bit fan-girly, seems like she'd like Justin Beiber :(

Character, Overall? Umbridge

Female? Umbridge

Male? Lucius Malfoy

Student?
 Pansy Parkinson

Spell? Avada Kedavra (although, there are SOME people...)

Book? DH, a bit... ehhhh

Ship? Harry/Dobby. Don't ask.

Sweet?
 Jelly slugs. Ewwww...

Death Eater? Lucius Malfoy

Shop? Borgin and Burkes

Place? Second floor Girls Bathroom... Imagine having Myrtle lurking there as you tried to pee. :)

Professor? Quirrel

Couples? What Do You Think?

Ron/Hermione? Well they were made for each other right? Right from Book 1... :D

Harry/Hermione? Go kiss your sister/brother then ask me again.

Harry/Ginny? They're okay, but they're too boring! They're just too perfect for each other, ya know?

Harry/Luna?
 YEah :)

Harry/Pansy? Why?

Ron/Lavander? No way. If i had to deal with another book of listening to her whine, i'd die.

Ron/Luna?
 Haha, NO!

Ron/Pansy? Again, why?

Ron/Fleur? No way in hell that would happen.

Hermione/Krum? I like Krum. He was so cute with her.

Hermione/Draco? This could have never happened, but i like reading the ship anyway. :)

Hermione/FredORGeorge? ?? NO. End of story.

James/Lily? Of course! That has to be one of the cutest couples ever!

Lily/Snape? Ish.

Lily/Sirius? No.

Lily/Lupin? NO!

Tonks/Lupin? Yesh! Naw, cute.

Draco/Pansy? Even Draco deserves someone better then her.

Fred/Angelina?
 Meh.

Bill/Fleur?
 Yeah

Harry/Cho? Let's get this straight. I HATE Cho. So guess what? No. :P

This Or That?

Harry or Ron? Harry

Hermione or Ginny? Hermione

Snape or Slughorn?
 Snape!

Fred Or George? Ya already asked that survey person.

Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione? Harry/Ginny

Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione? Ron/Hermione.

Harry/Hermione or Harry/Luna? Harry/Luna

Ron/Hermione or Ron/Luna? Ron/Hermione

Hermione/Krum or Harry/Hermione? Hermione/Krum

Ron/Lavander or Ron/Hermione? Ron/Hermione

ButterBeer or Fire Whiskey? Butterbeer! :)

Zonko’s or Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes? Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes

Hog’s Head Or The Three Broomsticks? Hog's Head. It's were all the interesting stuff happens ;)

James/Lily or Snape/Lily? James/Lily

Hogwarts or Hogsmeade? Hogwarts.

Hogsmeade Or Diagon Alley? Hogsmeade, me thinkies.

Malfoy Manor or Knockturn Alley? Malfoy Manor

Beartie Bott’s or Fizzing Whizbees? Fizzing Whizbees

Witch Weekly Or The Daily Prophet? Witch Weekly.

Rita Skeeter or Barty Crouch?
 Rita. Crouch is a hypocrite.

Gryffindor or Ravenclaw? Gryffindor

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Harry Potter and Future's Past by DriftWood1965 reviews
Starts out the day after the Battle of Hogwarts. Harry and Hermione meet the Goddess of Love, and she offers to let them go back in time. Strictly Harry and Hermione. Minor - well maybe major Ginny, Ron and Dumbledore Bashing. Soul Bond - Time Travel
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 326,387 - Reviews: 7288 - Favs: 14,227 - Follows: 16,672 - Updated: 8/24 - Published: 1/13/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Harry Potter: My Life Is My Own by Sashian reviews
Harry has a great memory, photographic even. He remembers everything even the day he was born. Every sight, sound, smell or touch he remembers with crystal clarity and he has power from the moment he is born. And whats up with Hedwig? All chapters edited for spelling, grammar, and some content. You may want to re-read it.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 182,168 - Reviews: 2889 - Favs: 9,964 - Follows: 11,337 - Updated: 12/31/2017 - Published: 8/4/2009 - Harry P.
A Father's Love by teacherbev reviews
AU Dumbledore told Harry that those we love never truly leave us. What if that statement was truer than even he ever imagined? No Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 36,643 - Reviews: 481 - Favs: 709 - Follows: 977 - Updated: 6/20/2015 - Published: 4/15/2008 - Harry P., James P.
The Day The Earth Stood Still by Sare Liz reviews
An AU rewrite of the entire series, largely from Edward's POV. -Winner of two Mystic Awards.- Outtakes found in DVMR.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 43 - Words: 337,124 - Reviews: 5376 - Favs: 3,844 - Follows: 3,139 - Updated: 2/10/2014 - Published: 3/14/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Right Hand Path by Sophiax reviews
Merope survives to raise her son, Tom Riddle. AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 90,252 - Reviews: 785 - Favs: 1,341 - Follows: 1,238 - Updated: 11/8/2012 - Published: 10/30/2006 - Tom R. Jr., Merope G.
Partially Kissed Hero by Perfect Lionheart reviews
Summer before third year Harry has a life changing experience, and a close encounter with a dementor ends with him absorbing the horcrux within him. Features Harry with a backbone.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 103 - Words: 483,646 - Reviews: 16328 - Favs: 10,773 - Follows: 9,390 - Updated: 4/28/2012 - Published: 5/6/2008 - Harry P.
Watching A Very Potter Musical by Optimistic Dreamer reviews
The Harry Potter Characters watch 'A Very Potter Musical' by Team StarKid.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,619 - Reviews: 445 - Favs: 486 - Follows: 565 - Updated: 2/3/2012 - Published: 3/12/2011
Anonymity by AquilusNyx reviews
The war is over and Harry needs to escape. Remus decides the Boy-Who-Lived needs a chance to be a normal kid, and whisks him away to a small town in Ohio. Drama ensues. Harry/Kurt, AU after 5th Book and Duets, rated for language and violence.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Glee - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 104,776 - Reviews: 766 - Favs: 2,227 - Follows: 1,138 - Updated: 10/28/2011 - Published: 4/6/2011 - Harry P., Kurt H. - Complete
The Wisdom Seeker by A. E. Giggle reviews
SEQUEL TO THE SECRET KEEPER: Following Bella's magical revelation and their contribution at the Battle of Hogwarts, the Cullens set out on an educational journey a million miles away from the Highschool purgatory they've grown accustomed to. OOC/AU.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 30 - Words: 359,007 - Reviews: 1434 - Favs: 1,054 - Follows: 668 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 9/1/2009 - Complete
Bella Hale by JulesSC reviews
Six year old Isabella Swan was orphaned after a car crash took her parents away, and Edward and the Cullens find her. Alice decides to keep her, and Edward tries to protect her. Family drama and hilarity ensues as Bella grows up and ExB happens.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 386,995 - Reviews: 13636 - Favs: 8,608 - Follows: 6,363 - Updated: 7/8/2011 - Published: 11/21/2008 - Edward, Bella
Delete by ForThem reviews
AU. Holiday had told Rex that he would eventually lose his memory, but he never, ever thought it would be like this.
Generator Rex - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,693 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 2/9/2011 - Rex S., Agent Six
Sirius' Savior by Silverfawkes reviews
AU Sirius took Harry that night and left. What happened after that is my story. ?able Dumbledore Sirius OOC Rating for occasional language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 68 - Words: 179,902 - Reviews: 2023 - Favs: 3,392 - Follows: 1,931 - Updated: 2/14/2011 - Published: 2/1/2010 - Sirius B., Harry P. - Complete
In this World and the Next by RobSt reviews
Not for Weasley fans, dark beginning and rating is for safety. A Re-do with payback on the menu H/Hr Complete
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 164,711 - Reviews: 5297 - Favs: 11,911 - Follows: 5,209 - Updated: 9/29/2010 - Published: 12/31/2009 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
The Thing About Contracts Is by Nom9de9Plume reviews
Harry discovers some interesting truths about contracts that leads to a plan to leave his troubles behind.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 41,393 - Reviews: 1010 - Favs: 3,194 - Follows: 2,485 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Harry P., Luna L.
Harry and the Staff of Aeons by ZeroRevolution reviews
Harry has been neglected by his family and ignored. He has been spending his time reading and learning about magic. He even constructed his own wand/staff. After learning he has been disowned, Harry learns of new titles and plans vengeance.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,469 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 837 - Follows: 922 - Updated: 8/8/2010 - Published: 8/5/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
The Floor Is Lava by ParamoreXO reviews
- Ben, Julie - Who knew convincing could be so fun?
Ben 10 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 487 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/27/2010 - Ben T., Julie Y. - Complete
Sirius Sets Things Right by Rorschach's Blot reviews
Oneshot: A chronicle of the coolest Godfather that ever lived.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,806 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 1,690 - Follows: 477 - Published: 4/22/2010 - Sirius B. - Complete
In Memory I by becka reviews
Slash. What if someone followed Hagrid the night he delivered Harry to the Dursleys? How would Harry's life have been different? AU that follows Harry as he grows up with the abusive Dursleys, and continues to his time at Hogwarts.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 73,039 - Reviews: 1739 - Favs: 3,349 - Follows: 3,168 - Updated: 9/8/2009 - Published: 11/9/2003 - Harry P.
Knowledge is Power by RobSt reviews
When Hermione gets cursed at the Ministry, Harry and the Death Eaters discover the power he knows not. Unleashing this power has far reaching consequences. Weasley and Dumbledore bashing – time travel story that's hopefully different.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 178,331 - Reviews: 3711 - Favs: 9,905 - Follows: 4,036 - Updated: 4/29/2009 - Published: 10/23/2008 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Missing: Presumed Missing? by Seel'vor reviews
After the debacle at the DoM, Harry's friends turn on him. So he leaves. Now the world begins to realise they've driven away their savior. How will they get him back? Rated for language. Harry!Harem. Heavily Edited and NEW CONTENT!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 31,291 - Reviews: 502 - Favs: 1,769 - Follows: 2,142 - Updated: 6/19/2008 - Published: 12/20/2007 - Harry P.
Cauterize by Lady Altair reviews
"Of course it's missing something vital. That's the point." Dennis Creevey takes up his brother's camera after the war.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,648 - Reviews: 1682 - Favs: 7,755 - Follows: 978 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Dennis C. - Complete
The Hardest Riddle by Wheezy1 reviews
Harry acquires the ability to travel dimensions, gathering training and skills so he can eventually defeat Voldemort. Independent Harry, Manipulative Dumbledore, eventual HPGW. No slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 38 - Words: 109,558 - Reviews: 1494 - Favs: 1,665 - Follows: 1,947 - Updated: 2/22/2008 - Published: 10/12/2007 - Harry P., Voldemort
A Potions Accident by Arualcopia reviews
A slight twist to the usual deaging stories. What if the accident created a gas? What if it effected the entire class? How does Snape deal with fifteen toddlers?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 34,912 - Reviews: 994 - Favs: 1,323 - Follows: 1,508 - Updated: 9/5/2007 - Published: 9/15/2006 - Severus S., Harry P.
Chaos Theory reviews
It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterflys wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world. Well, can one mis-aimed curse can change the lives of the wizarding world? AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,837 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/8/2010 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Harry P., OC