Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter. Hogwarts House: All of them :D Wand: Cypress wood with a pheonix feather core, 12 1/2 " and reasonably supple flexibility. Patronus: Dolphin Animagus form: Pheonix Ilvermorny House: Pukwudgie Godly Parent: Hades Faction: Divergent - Dauntless, Amity and Candor Favourite HP Characters (not in order) Remus Sirius Severus Harry Draco Blaise Theo Daphne Astoria Hermione Minerva Filius Tonks James Lily Fluer Gabrielle Cedric Viktor Lucius Narcissa Regulus Favourite Ships (not in order) Harry/Severus Harry/Draco Harry/Hermione Harry/Tom Riddle JR James/Lily Remus/Sirius Sirius/Marlene Lily/Severus Neville/Luna Least favourite Ships (not in order) James/anyone that isn't Lily Remus/Tonks (I'M SORRY!) Hermione/Draco Ginny/Draco Hermione/Ginny Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less 16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll FUNNY THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR 1.When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. 2.Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 3.Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. 4.Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on. 5.Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" 6.Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 7.Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. 8.Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment. 9.Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play. 10.Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 11.Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 12.Ask, "Did you feel that?" 13.Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. 14.When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!" 15.Swat at flies that don't exist. 16.Tell people that you can see their aura. 17.Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it. 18.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" 19.Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 20.Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 21.Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 22.Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 23.Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. 24.Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 25.Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 26.Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!" 27.When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "9") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker!" 28.Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly. 29.Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down. 30.When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 31.Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 32.Meow occasionally. 33.Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. 34.Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 35.When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?" 36.Say "Ding!" at each floor. 37.Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 38.Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 1. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit more effort, you can be absolutely and perfectly impossible. 2. Sharks hug with their mouth. 3. The Zombies are coming! They're hungry for brains! Don't worry, you're safe. 4. My mind works like lightening...One brilliant flash and it's gone. 5. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police. 6. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. 7. When life gives you lemons, make green tea, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.. 8. HELP!! I got lost in my mind, it was uncharted territory... 9. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. 10. The only way for people to meet your standards, is for you to lower them, a lot. 11. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. 12: A computer once beat me at chess, but was no match for me at boxing. 13. think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care! 14. To fail you have to try. To try you have to fail first to start again. 15. Do I know Sarcasm? Why yes, he's my best friend. I call him Snarky for short... 16. I'm not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane… 17. Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 18. Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm. 19. “I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.” 20. silence is golden. duct tape is silver Who else hates stereotypes? I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will comfort you when (s)he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask her, "It's because you're homosexual, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when (s)he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call her up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run moron run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Dude drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!" 15 Things to do when you're in bored in a shop! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look." 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here! 15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!" One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me. Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies… Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. Rest In Peace, my old friend. Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name. Moonstar of FireClan, Flamestar, Samishi Destiny, Silverstar's Shadow, Darkangel24700, iLoVeMoOnYnPaDfOoT, Someone aka Me,Yourcool79, Give up your Prejudices, MyNameIsCAB, chibi-sarus, hawkstar2, CrazyLittleKookoo, Vera A, AshfeatherISS PONDER THIS Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school |
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