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![]() Author has written 61 stories for 39 Clues, Series Of Unfortunate Events, Giver, Holes, and Henry Danger. VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE: I'm back from hiatus guys!! And hopefully, my stories that aren't finished, basically all 50 of them. *gulp* will be updated soon. Thanks... Back to Profile... end "very important notice" Hi! Hello! Yo! Aloha! I can't decide which greeting to use!!!!! Anyways... this is 39addict101. I want to be a professional writer someday, (as in... New York Times Bestselling Author) so I came here to practice. Pretty lame huh? Seems like if I wanted to be that good I'd need to try harder (and not post hiatus messages under the label of "very important" I should probably use "very embarrassing" instead, haha.) But ah, well, you all know me. I do it when I feel like it. And what is 'it', you ask... I don't know yet. Probably updating that story that hasn't been updated for almost a year, for one thing. My favorite quote as of right now: Sometimes, when I'm out with my friends, I also can't wait to get home and crawl in the dishwasher. But anyways... There's a forum my friends and I regularly inhabit. Please visit it. We'd love to have you and get to know you better. I also have a couple of stories up, and nothing makes my day more than a review. But please, leave a good review. I detest reviews that say, "Good job." Its so vague. I would take a flame over that. Another thing I would like is if you left some constructive criticism. And...there is nothing that I like more than when you throw your theories out! Thanks! So. Some stuff about me. This is, after all, called a bio for a reason. I'm sixteen years old and I have a burning passion for writing. I'm the kind of person who will sit down and just stare at the blank doc in excitement, because I can't wait to find out what I'm going to write about today. It sounds so weird, but that's how I look at writing... not as a chore, but as an adventure. So don't ask me what I have planned for a fic. Because I honestly probably don't know. I'm on the edge of my seat, just like you. For me, writing is all about the adventure my mind is going to take me on. I also love the power of words. They can describe things that you would never be able to see without them. They can take you places you would never go if it weren't for their help. And one word can be so descriptive. Some of my favorite words: resound, glow, explosion, passion, crystalize... the list goes on and on and on because words are so beautiful and powerful and how would we live without them? I'm an avid reader, I read books the same way you breathe. For me, books are an escape from the real world, a place where Happily Ever After isn't impossible, where the characters are real people who are struggling just like me, but, unlike me, they manage to overcome and be victorious conquerers in the end and everyone goes to a party. And who doesn't love a party? Music is another passion of mine. I play piano, and there's something about sitting down in front of an instrument that's seventeen times more heavy than I am, and making it do what I want. Because there's power in music too. I love the feeling when I complete a new song, when I've mastered that difficult measure, when I can play just to play and lose myself in the music... I live for little pleasures. Chocolate melting on your tongue. The sweet aroma of the wild lilac bush. Kitty kisses. Hugs. A smile from a friend to a friend. The tickle of grass on my cheeks as I stare up at the blue sky and day dream. The sound of laughter. The sight of happiness-of family and love and unity. The touch of a friend. The smell of a rose. I'm the kind of person who will remember little details--what I was wearing... what the weather was like... how he looked when he smiled at me. My personality is carried over into my writing. Hence, little details-smiles, laughter, weather, the scent of his cologne... all of my writing carries part of who I am. Even my villains get some of their evil tendencies from me. I'm an impatient person. I want to move and go and move and go and never sit still and get it down RIGHT NOW or I'll snap and yell at you and I'm sorry I didn't mean it... but now it's too late, the words have been spoken... I'm kind of selfish too. I like to live in a little world that revolves around me. I'm working on it, but it's a process. And now that I've spilled all this information about me, if you're still curious enough to want to know me better... I'm always here. I love to talk, and I can lend a listening ear. I'd love to get to know YOU more. So. My friends were at this thing. (I don't even remember what it was) And we were sitting in bleachers. I had (somehow) finagled my way into a position right next to my crush. And, one of our chaperones called my over and asked me something. I answered her question, and I started walking back. But, unfortunately, one of friends (maybe, she doesn't like me that much?) had her foot stuck out, and I didn't see it. (I was looking at his face. I know...I'm so bad) I tripped over her foot, and ended up in my crush's lap. I hurriedly got up, mortified, and moved one space down to my seat. I obviously didn't talk to him for the rest of the night. Obviously. Hello? 911? My parents turned off the wifi! *bring* *bring* Hello, I am currently out of my mind; please leave a message after the beep. Here's a couple things about me: 1. I am a girl. (and I'm proud of it) 2. I love chickens (and I'm proud of it) 3. I am a vegetarian (and I'm proud of it) 4. I am weird (and I'm proud of it) 5. Yeah, that's my life, and guess what? I'm so proud of it. 8 of every 10 teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 that haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you're of those people that didn't know how to copy and paste, and had to look it up, copy and paste this onto your profile. Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you're crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you love your ability to read, write, and own a Library card more than you love school copy and past this into your profile. If your friends are surprised that you haven't given them A.D.H.D., Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because you're a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, put this into your profile. If you have embarrassing moments that make you want to smack yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile. "Lets eat Grandma!" or "Lets eat, Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives. If you agree, and wouldn't like to taste your grandma, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile. "My God what is that smell?" "It's called Fresh air" -Sinead and Ian (Medusa Plot) "Turn right now." "Now? All I see is a bloody narrow gap between trees" - GPS and Ian (Dead Of Night) "Or how you people in the US Provinces say...Bungee!" "I believe it is Bingo" -Natalie and Alistair (The Sword Thief) "Lovely" -Ian (The Sword Thief) "So, like, I could say A – has a face like a baboon butt, and you wouldn't know who I'm talking about?"-Dan (Maze Of Bones) "Oh great. I'm in South Korea and now my sister is Julie Andrews" -Dan (The Sword Thief) "Executor?" "That means he killed her?" -Dan (Maze Of Bones) "Those are Cobras, not the really cute ones. Like Ian" -Dan "You're a Thief" "Not a thief, Amy. A Lucian" -Ian and Amy (Maze of Bones) ''But today I'm the good guy. You gotta see that, Amy.'' ''Because you make gangster pop-up books?" "Exactly!" -Dan and Jonah (One False Note) "Hello, Love" -Ian to Amy (Practically every time they meet.) Hey, hey you there. The girl you just called fat? She's overdosing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on makeup hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He's abused at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He got them fighting for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Put this on your profile if you're against bullying. I bet 95% of you won't put this on your profile, but I'm sure the people with a heart and backbone will. If you love to laugh, here's a couple things to laugh at. REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. 20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if anyone slows down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In" 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their caffeine addictions, switch to expresso 6. In the memo field of all your checks write, "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy" 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk 10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat 11. Specify that your Drive-Thru order is To Go 12. Sing Along at the opera 13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day 14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't go to their party because you're not in the mood 16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom 17. When money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running and screaming "Run for your lives! They're loose!" 19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go" 20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity, post this on your profile and make somebody smile! Oh, so paper beats rock? Well, then, you try defending yourself with paper while I throw a rock at you! Dinosaur extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk. Misers aren't fun to live with, but they do make wonderful ancestors. I ran out of sick days. I called in dead. Guys think girls are weird, have they looked at themselves? I've learned so much from my mistakes, I think I'll make a few more. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished 2 bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. How is it that it takes one careless match to start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitos? Those people who think they know everything are an annoyance to those of us who do. A bank is a place that will lend you money...if you can prove that you don't need it. We hope that, when insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them on our picnics. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. As your best friend, I'll always pick you up when you fall. After I finish laughing. I changed my password everywhere to incorrect. That way when I get it wrong, it always reminds me with, "Your password in incorrect." If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed internet. My wife loves me so much. She does her best to attract me. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer! Dear LOL, thank you for being there for me...when I had nothing better to say. Hmm...this text message seems a little harsh. I'll put a LOL at the end of it. Ooooh! A life? Where can I download one? Common sense is like deodorant. Those who really need it don't use it. I like you so much, my friend, I'd walk through a fire for you. Well, actually, not a fire, cuz its hot. But totally a humid room. Hmm...no, not a humid room, cuz ya know, my HAIR? I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well...not a grizzly bear, cuz they have claws. Not a panda bear, either, cuz they know kung fu. But a care bear...yes, I'd definitely fight a care bear. Dogs feel very strongly the need to go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, in your ear. Newspaper Ad. Free PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel. Half sneaky neighbor's dog. The other day I was walking in the woods at night, and I came upon a rabbit with a candle, making shadows of people on a tree. Why are gorilla's nostrils so big? Because they have thick fingers. My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems. Quick! What's the number for 9-1-1? I burst out laughing in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday. I've learned when I get my room just the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up. Three monkeys escaped from the zoo. One was caught watching TV, one was caught eating peanuts, and one was caught reading this quote. You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do. You love flowers...but you cut them. You love animals...but you eat them. You love me...and now I'm scared! Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. That moment when there's a ugly fat spider on you and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. He's dreaming too. Google earth view gives you the amazing change to see amazing things...all from the comfort of your home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their house, their friend's houses, mostly places they've been. Dear automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. I called the restaurant and asked them if they take orders. When they said, "Yes, they do." I replied, "Run outside naked!" Today I will live in the moment, unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I will take a nap. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for flying xyz airlines. We hope you enjoy your flight as much as we enjoy taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to Los Angeles, one to Miami, and one to New York." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week." When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Dear Math, Please grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you. I swear I am up to no good. When a cop told me to give him my first and last name, I told him, "Are you crazy? What will my name be then?" I'm not afraid of flying. I'm afraid of not flying. I'm so glad I don't have to hunt my own food! I don't even know where the sandwiches live! Don't wake me up! I'm studying! I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it! My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel crossing the street. A stupid person laughs three times at a joke: Once when everyone else is laughing, twice when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he laughed without getting the joke. What I do when I see someone pretty, is: I stare, I smile, and then I get tired and put the mirror down. I did not trip and fall!! I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning! A cop pulled me over and asked, "Papers?" So I told him "Scissors! I win!" And drove away. Its so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say, and then DON'T say it. My friend, remember that without stupidity, there wouldn't be intelligence, and without ugliness there wouldn't be beauty, so we need you here after all. Sometimes, when I close my eyes...I can't see. I just wanted to let you know that somebody cares...not me, but somebody does. Dude, no! I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making! It's better to shut up and to give the impression that you're stupid then to say something and erase all doubt. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just yours that is stupid. After many years of studying my geography book, I know by heart that Australia is on page 23. Your mind needs exercising just as much as your body, that's why I think of jogging every day. I wish all my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house: a police car, an ambulance, and a fire truck. Don't be stupid, it might make you famous. I'm going to open a new facebook account named Anonymous, that way all the cool quotes will be credited to me! Store sign: Why go somewhere else and waste your money when you can do it here? Whenever you feel stupid, just remember there are people outside looking for Pokémon. Dance like nobody is watching...because they aren't, they're all checking their phones. Every morning I do ten sit-ups...to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "Wow, he loves me!" And he thought, "Wow, this sidewalk is slippery!" If I can't have a midnight snack, than what's the point of the light in the fridge? I hate how chocolate melts in my hand. I mean, am I that hot? The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is because they have a common enemy. Stalking isn't a word I use, I prefer intense study of individual. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. The fact that you're at my profile means you're stalking me. I don't know about you, but a highlight of my childhood was talking into the fan to hear my robot voice "If all your friends were jumping off a cliff would you jump off too?" -- "If it meant that I would never hear that stupid cliche again I would be first in line." A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk; I have a work station... Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin? I went on a once in a lifetime vacation. Never again. Have you noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anybody driving faster is a maniac? If at first you DO succeed, try not to look to impressed Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it into a fruit salad. I’m an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight! I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode. Never do anything that you don't want to explain to the cops/paramedics. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money? When you fall, I will be there to catch you. -With love, The floor. Why would I need a hair stylist? My pillow gives me a new style every morning! Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious. In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. At noon I can't eat, cuz I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, cuz I'm thinking of you. At night I can't sleep...cuz I'm hungry! I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. They say, "Don't try this at home." So I'm coming over to your house to try it, and you can go over to mine! I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away. Roses are red, You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free? "Officer, I swear to drunk, I'm not God!" "I should hope not, sir" I did what they said and chose the road less traveled . . . Now where the heck am I? I'm not clumsy . . . the floor just hates me. FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs., and your Grandpa by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door to see if your home. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. FRIENDS: Will help you find your way when you're lost. FRIENDS: Will help you learn to drive. FRIENDS: Will watch your pets when you go away. FRIENDS: Will help you up when you fall down. FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with you. FRIENDS: Ask you for your number. FRIENDS: Will hide you from the cops. FRIENDS: let you make an idiot of yourself in public. Friends: Don't have this on their profiles. Do you know that the average American reads only three books a year? If you believe that it's not possible to read so little, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you’re part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, copy this into your profile. If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy into your profile, copy this into your profile. (I have no shame...) If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy and paste into your profile. The following are on actual labels of consumer goods, 'cause some people are idiots: Sear's Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (When else would I have time to dry my hair?) Frito's!: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details in side. (The shoplifter's special!) Dial Soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?) Swanson Frozen Dinners: Serving Suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion) Tesco's Tiramisu Dessert (printed on the bottom of the box): Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!) Mark's and Spencer's Bread Pudding: Caution! Product will be hot after heating! (Gee, no dip, Sherlock) Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But it saves so much time!... Whose body?) Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery while after taking this medication. (Yeah. We could really reduce construction accidents by getting sick 5-year-olds off forklifts and out of cars.) Nytol Sleep Aid: Product may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!) Christmas Lights: Indoor and Outdoor use only. (As opposed to space? Dang it. I wanted to put my Christmas tree out there.) Japanese Food Processor: Not for the other use. (Anyone wanna help me out with this one? Now I'm curious...) Sunsbury Peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts. (But no peas?) Kid's Superman Costume: Product does not enable flight. (Parents, I blame you.) Swedish Chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with hands. (Alright, raise your hand if you tried that... Oh, wait. Hehehe, never mind) On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!) On artificial bacon:"Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no, we get real fake bacon. But wait...wouldn't fake fake bacon be real bacon??) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..) The prince fought valiantly. He slayed the dragon. The princess cried for days. She loved that dragon. -The stories fairy-tales don't tell A young girl of about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached an alley, which was a shortcut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley, she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy, and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly, a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped around her, and she felt as though someone were walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that not 20 minutes after she had passed, a young girl had been raped in the same alley. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy, and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety, and pleading with him to be with the other young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify the man. She agreed, and immediately pointed him out. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked her if there was anything he could do for her. She asked if they could ask the man why he didn't attack her. When the policemen asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. There were two men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe it or not, you are not alone. God and his angels are always with us, even when we don't know it. Did you know that 98% percent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93% won't repost this? Change that. | |||||||
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