Name: Silver Moon-Dark Sky (As if I'd tell you my REAL name :P)

Age: 17

Location: Somewhere on Earth. It's not like I'm a human experiment that's part alien or anything. *looks around, whistling innocently*

Gender: Last time I checked, female. *pokes chest* Yup, female.

Things about me: First off, I am a yaoi-fan girl. (Not hard core yaoi like some of my friends which can get scary when they posses yaoi books *shiver*) but I do like it. My older sister on the other hand...yeaaahhh.. anyways! My friends got me into Kingdom Hearts and RikuxSora (my first pairing) . My sister got me into the rest. (AxelxRoxas is her fav) I love anime and manga and rock. My parents think of me as their little pure innocent angel who's all goody goody but I am one tough cookie! They don't know how I make people cower in fear when I'm in a bad mood *laughs maniacally*

Favorite TV Show/Movie Pairing:

DeanxCas (Supernatural)

SherlockxJohn (Sherlock BBC) Love it :D

MerlinxArthur (The adventures of Merlin) Wooh!

EricxCharles (X-Men: First Class) Recently saw the movie and I just gasmsed xD

KurtxBlaine (Glee) Klainebows for everyone! :D

JackxIanto (TorchWood) F you Gwen...Trying to steal Jack... this pairing is Cannon!

Fav Kingdom Hearts Pairings:

RikuxSora (Duh! XD)

AxelxRoxas (Darn you sister! Lol)

ZexionxDemyx

LeonxCloud

(I feel for Namine and Kairi, all the hot guys are gay. Hmm..reminds me of the real world.)

Other Pairings:

SasukexNaruto (Naruto)

SakuraxSyoran (Cardcaptor Sakura/Tsubasa) I DO like some straight pairings too you know just not as much as the others _"

KuroganexFai (Tsubasa)

ToyaxYukito (Cardcaptor sakura)

AnggxKatara (Avatar: the last airbender)

SokkaxSuki (Avatar: the last airbender)

(My sister belives that in Avater that they state the couples in the show. The fact that people put Katara and Zuko pisses her off if you wanna complain, complain to iloveanime9251, not me)

Alright first off I'd like to thank JJKMagic for coming up with this! When I read this I couldn't help but be tempted to write this on my own profile!! :D

Surveys Etc.

(Note: My sister made me take this test without knowing what the test was about. Who I was most like took me by surprise)

-Which Organization XIII Member are you most like?-

I.Xemnas:

You are the leader most of the time

You like black

You wished you were someone else

You don't listen to others

you like doing research

TOTAL: 2

II.Xigbar:

You have bad eyesight

You like throwing things at others when your angry

You wish you were able to teleport

You wear you hair in a ponytail

You wish you had a gun sometimes

TOTAL: 2

III.Xaldin:

You like windy days

You have tried to steal something precious from someone

You like dragons

You like dreadlocks

You tried to anger someone on purpose

TOTAL: 3

IV. Vexen:

You are disrespected by young ones

Someone has already considered you a traitor

You are the oldest of your group

You like experiments

You like cold days

TOTAL: 1

V. Lexaeus:

You are not very talkative

You like brain games

People are afraid of you because of your appearance

You prefer heavy weapons rather than light ones

You are very strong, physically speaking.

TOTAL: 1

VI. Zexion:

You love reading

You are not very sociable

You are one of the shortest in your group

You have a very sensible nose

You like to elude others

TOTAL: 4

VII. Siax:

You have double-personality issue

You are more active during the night rather then the day

You like wolves

Your superior trusts you

You have a scar on your face

TOTAL: 3

VIII. Axel:

You are somewhat a pyromaniac (A/N: I mean that in the I like fire a lot not setting houses on fire kinda pyromaniac)

You care deeply for your best friends

you are two-faced when you need to

You don't like it when people don't remember your name

You have a very fiery personality

TOTAL: 5

IX. Demyx

You like music

You know how to play guitar

You like rainy days

You like swimming

You are a very happy person

TOTAL: 3

X. Luxord:

You like playing cards

You like to gamble

Your faforite color is gold

You have stolen money from others

You wished you could curse someone

TOTAL: 2

XI. Marluxia:

You like pink ( A/N: Ewww no way! DX)

You like flowers

You are plotting to overthrow your superior (A/N: Shh they don't need to know that.)

You were betrayed by someone

You are a bit of a flamboyant person.

TOTAL: 2

XII. Larxene:

You're the only female in your group

You like storms

You're pretty agile

You like to mock others

You think ninjas are cool

TOTAL: 3

XII. Roxas:

You love ice cream

You're the youngest of your group

You think people are hiding something from you

You usually have strange dreams involving people you've never met

You prefer afternoons rather than nights or mornings

TOTAL: 3

I was surprised when I found out that I got everything with Axel (5 out of 5). When my sis said "Check it out! You're exactly like Axel!" (She likes akuroku mind you) I thought "Holy Crap! Oh well, at least I can play with fire!" XD

The next one I was most like (4 out of 5) was Zexion and I was ok with that. I mean think about it, being able to use illusions is pretty darn cool and I'd carry around a large book that not only do I cast spells and chiz from, but I could hit people upside the head with! :D

The others (3 out of 5) were: Xaldin, Siax, Demyx, Larxene, and Roxas. (2 out of 5) were: Xemnas, Xigbar, Luxord, and Marluxia. (1 out of 5) were: Vexen and Lexaeus.

Overall I was pretty ok with my results. Not as bad as I thought they'd turn out to be. :P

-Pick 10 characters and answer the questions below. You can pick any characters you like, Both boys and girls!!-

(Again, My sister made me write down random people that popped in my head ahnd made me answer the questions I had no idea what the questions were.)

People I chose: 1 Sora, 2 Riku, 3 Roxas, 4 Axel, 5 Zexion, 6 Demyx, 7 Cloud 8 Leon, 9 Kairi, 10 Namine

1 woke you up in the middle of the night? Probably nightmares or something if it's Sora and how the heck does he know where I livez?!

2 asked you to go out with him? WTF?! Why would Riku ask me out?? That's just so.. what the word.. un-Riku..?

3 walked into the bathroom while you were showering? *Throws nearest object at Roxas' head* He must be a lock picker since I always lock my bathroom door -_-

4 just announced he's going to marry 9 tomorrow? Psh. That's total BS. If Axel was going to marry Kairi then he's doing it as a favor to me and setting her on fire and simply saying it was a kitchen accident or something. (Sorry, to Kairi lovers out there, I just find her annoying)

5 cooked you dinner? Zexion can cook? o_o

6 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping? If you ask me, Demyx seems to be the type to sleep anywhere.

7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family? Welll, Cloud and I have the same colored eyes so I guess it could kinda make sense. Unfortunatly my hair does not defy gravity like his.

8 got into the hospital somehow? Well, Leon's always sparring so I wouldn't be surprised if he managed to injure himself and get hospitallized.

9 made fun of your friends? Kairi is such a friggen bitch. I'd totally send my pal Axel on her ass. (Since we are exactly alike he and I iz close friendies now :3)

10 ignored you all the time? I'm sure Nami has her reasons. She's too kind to be mean to anyone. :D

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 do? Sora would totally come to my safety and pummel those guys into oblivion with his keyblade cuz he's just that nice.

You're on vacation with number 2 and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do? I guess Riku would just carry me to some place that they'd help me out (Since I'm the author he wouldn't want me to do something bad with the powah he knows I have over him in my story. *evil laugh*)

It's your birthday. What will 3 give you? Roxas would just probably give me Sea-salt ice cream that he's most likely eaten some of already.

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 do? Knowing Axel he would probably save me and then run back into the fire he loves so much.

You're about to do something that would make you feel extremely embaressed. What will 5 do? Probably just ignore me and go read a book in a corner.

You're about to marry number 10. What's 6's reaction? I don't want to marry Nami! She and I are just friends. I think Demyx would laugh and joke around or something though.

You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up? Well I've never had a relationship (Even though I've had oppertunities) But if I did I think Cloud would just listen to what I have to say and try to be comforting.

You're angry about it afterwards, how does 8 calm you down? Ok umm I doubt I would be angry if he was just helping out -_- I don't anger over things that easily..But Leon would probably spar with me to let out my anger.

You compete in some tournament. How does 9 support you? She probably wouldn't and if she did I would probably 'accidentally' miss and manage to hit her with my weapon somehow since she just annoys me.

You can't stop laughing. What will 10 do? She would probably giggle and try to hide it but laugh with me none the less.

1 is all you've dreamed of. Why? Probably cuz he's just so cute and reminds me of my pet dog. /Sora: Hey! *pouts*/ Oh Come on. You know I mean that in the best of ways. My dog's awesome! :D

2 tells you about his deeply hidden love for 9. Your reaction? Love? Sure.. Love to get RID of her kinda love! He KNOWS Sora's the only one for him!!

You're dating 3 and introduce him to your parents. Will they get along? Most likely. Roxas is very kind so I doubt my parents would have a problem with him. (They would still be watching though. Just because they can)

5 loves number 9 as well. What does that mean? Again, love to be RID of her. Zexion I know finds it tourture to be around her for more then a minute so I think he and Riku would get along fine in that perspective.

Will 5 and 6 ever kiss? Heck yeah. Although Zexion might not wanna admit it, he knows that he wants to! And Demyx sure does I'm positive on that!!

6 Appears to be a player, and he breaks many hearts. What do you do? WTF? Who made up that rumor?! Demmy would never do that! *Grabs bazooka* I must destroy them!

You had a haircut and 7 can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind? He's probably wondering if he can get my hair could defy gravity like his since he's apparently related to me and all.

8 thinks he'll never get a boyfriend. What will you tell him? Just confess to Cloud for crying out loud. Once he does he won't be single for long, I'm sure of it.

9 gives you a bagel. Do you eat it? Hellz no! She probably friggen posioned the darn thing!!

10 wants money and decides to get a job at Chuck E' Cheeses. How long does she stay? Namine is kind and she seems like the type to get along with kids so I think she'd last as long as she wanted.

1 offers you a CD. Considering his taste, do you listen to it? Most likely although I'm sure it's some kinda happy go-lucky kinda music.

3 suddenly goes emo. How does 8 feel about this? I doubt Leon would care although I'm sure Axel would make Roxas come back to his senses.

4 slaps 9 with a fish for going out with 7. Ok umm where did Axel get a fish? Not that I mind him slapping Kairi with it of course. If he is hitting her though it's most likely cuz she kidnaped Cloud and forced him to go out with her and Roxas askedAxel to save Cloud.

5 comes up to you wearing a big pink dress. What's you reaction? Zexion...pink dress... PPPPPPFFFFFTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!! XD OMG SUPER FUNNY MENTAL IMAGE!!!! He most likely lost a bet with Axel to do something that crazy.

8 reads your fanfiction and complains. What is it about? Probably because he's not in it...YET!

Thank you GoddessOfNight08 for making me see this and laugh :)

YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN 2010 WHEN..

1.) You accidentaly enter your password on your cell.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or cell phone.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn;t even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you
BESTFRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography about your life
FREINDS: Will leave you behind if thats what everyone else is doing
BESTFRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd asses that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
BESTFRIENDS: Would walk right in and say,"IM HOME"
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell
BESTFRIENDS: Already know not to tell
FRIENDS: Are through high school/college (drinking buddies)
BESTFRIENDS: Are for life
FRIENDS: Will crack under interrogation.
BESTFRIENDS: Will not only keep their mouths shut, but will help you hide the body.
FRIENDS: Will look at you like you're crazy when you tell them you're an alien from outerspace.
BESTFRIENDS: Will break you out of the loony bin and drive you to New Mexico to meet up with the mothership.

Thanks to MsSupreme for all of these things! :D

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says..
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS!

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. Pretend to have amnesia.

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Say all of the words in a film.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!"

11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm retarded!"

12. Talk to a pen.

13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.

14. Try and climb the wall.

15. In public yell "NO MUM I WILL NOT KISS YOU!"

16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.

17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"

18. Eat your hair.

19. Hold there nuts and say u have alot of food down there

20. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!"

21. At everything they say yell "LIAR!"

22. Pretend to be a phone.

23. Try to swim in the floor.

24. Tap on their door all night.

14 Ways to Get Kicked Out of WalMart

1-wander through the store dressed in all black with a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks what you're doing, scream "LOOK OUT!" and push them behind a shelf

2-Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly after they take one.

3-Buy 350 packets of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!" once the cashier tells you the price

4-Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask someone where you can find some "musical devices"

5-when the announcer-thing comes on, throw yourself on the floor and scream "THE VOICES!THEY'RE BACK!"

6-start a fish stick fight

7-walk up to random people and give them giant bear hugs. Then scream "I MISSED YA, MAN!"

8-(this requires a friend) Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around screaming "The British are coming!"

9-walk up to an employee and murmur "code red in aisle 3" and see what they do

10-attempt to fly off a high shelf

11-throw confetti on random people walking into the store

12-whisper "I know your "little secret"' to people in the checkout line

13-stand inside the freezer at the frozen food section

14-walk up to empoyees and whisper "I saw dead people...They want me to take you away...to aisle 8...

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

Girls

Girls are like apples on trees.

The best ones are at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.

They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line

xXx

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
and if you stand up 4 him he will stand up for you.

Important thigs my mother taught me!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Funny Comments

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more.
-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to "magically wrap around" Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in their stomach with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh crap, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"
-'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!
-Silence is golden; Duct tape is SILVER
-Candy is good for you. Why? Bouncing off walls is good excercise.
-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face

Labels/Warnings/Signs

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dove soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion, because, really, you want to break your teeth on a frozen peas.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(Whose body? Are you sure I can't do it to my stalkers?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...or they've had reports of people murdering thier kids...sad.)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to the use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious. Do they mean Putting people's fingers in there?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a Butler Amusements Farris-Wheel
The cleanest show in the west!
(Does that mean that there's dirty ones in the East?)

On artificial bacon:
"Real artificial bacon bits".
(we don't get fake fake bacon. we get real fake bacon.)

On an American Flag:
Made in China
(OMG! We're Chinese!)

At Funplex:
Paintless Paintball
(So it's...ball?)

Next to a kid's place:
Adult Movies
(Yeah, do I even need to comment on this?)

In a Parking Lot:
Do not park in the parking lot.
(That's okay, the streets are empty.)

Women

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

For all I know you could startat any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think

Good Combacks for Women of all ages! :D

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter" (or) "Stop."

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

True Love

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love!

I got this thanks to Dreamless kounichi's profile!

Fave Quotes:

I was going to kill the ugliest person alive but then i thought I'd let your mom live one more day

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Be yourself. That's crazy enough.

You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. I guess I can settle for second place.

They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" i don't think you'd kill many people. (Unless you're Deidara. And have explosives.)

Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

Forecast for tonight: darkness

How come when you mix water with sugar, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

Hell is full of musical amateurs

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

I'm not random I just have many thoughts

I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes(sad but true!)

-sticks hand in electric box- CHIDORI!!

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking

Heaven doesn't want me there and Hell knows I'll take over.

Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

People are like slinkies. Basically useless and yet its so amusing to watch them fall down stairs

In a world of cheerios, be a frootloop!

Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

God must love stupid people...he made so many

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness(WOOT!)

You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

PMS: Every woman's legal right to be a bitch.

I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!

I have a dream and in it, something eats you.

Its sad your own mom dresses you like that.

Its always funny until someone gets hurt. Then its hysterical

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the hell are you scared?!

Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.

I know KUNG-FU and 42 other dangerous words

Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!

Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?

By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life

I burst laughing out in class today...I got that joke you told yesterday

Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privilege.

Life is like a circle. No wonder I'm so dizzy.

Yeah I'm crazy, but I'm the coolest crazy person you'll ever meet!

Boy break hearts so why don't we break their necks?

When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know.

I'm NOT SHORT!! ... I'm fun sized!

Pixie sticks! Cause not every kid can afford crack!

When you call us BITCHES we just look at each other and crack up, because we knew that WAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOU DID!

Last night I lay in my bed looking up at the stars and thought to myself, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CEILING!?

Am I pissing you off-fa-fa? (PEANUT!!)

We are the people our parents warned us about!

Someone told me its illegal to kill someone for pissing you off...crap...!

I have the kind of friends where if my house was burning down, they'd be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen!

Its not that I'm not a “people person”... its just that I'm only a “stupid people person”.

You and me are friends. You fight, I fight. You hurt, I hurt. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge... I'm gonna miss your dumb ass!

If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?

Some people are like slinkies... they're really are good for nothing! But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!

I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty!

I didn't hit you... I simply high-fived your face!

Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to hell?

HELL- Where all the fun people end up!

It better to have loved and lost then to live with the PSYCHO the rest of your life!

When I die, I'm going to haunt the fuck out of you people!

If I had half a mind..I would still be smarter than you!!

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drank my water!

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer

I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.

To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding...

Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING? (You do now)

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

Don't knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run--he hates that.

Come to the dark side. We have cookies.(Lightside: Oh yeah Well WE have cupcakes) Psh WE have Anime(Lightside: DAMN foiled again)

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

In the play Hamlet, Hamlet says to be or not to be that is the question. What I wanna know is... whats the answer?

The word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" means "blood-sucking creatures."

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done.