Random stuff about me (that I doubt any of you care for but I'm putting anyway):

Favorite bands: Jack's Mannequin, Boys Like Girls, All Time Low, We the Kings, My Chemical Romance, Anberlin, Paramore, Evanescence, Green Day, Linkin Park, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Rocket Summer, Cartel, Reliant K, The All-American Rejects, VersaEmerge, Breaking Benjamin

Favorite TV shows: Avatar- The Last Airbender, Friends, That 70's Show, Danny Phantom, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Favorite movies: Mean Girls, Stick It, John Tucker Must Die, Pirates of the Caribbean, She's the Man, Dodgeball

Favorite Comedian: Dane Cook! Though Aziz Ansari is also very funny.

Nonsense that's fun to post:

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

"I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

"Who lit the fuse on YOUR tampon?"

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? (I'm good with advice too, but I'm an extremely sarcastic person)

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

I didn't trip. I was just testing gravity... It still works.

Dear Homework, you are unattractive; therefore, I cannot do you.

Secret Admirer? More like a stalker with stationary.

When I say 'LOL,' I'm not 'laughing out loud.' I just have nothing better to say.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Nobody's going to win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Sarcasm is my automatic response to stupidity.

The one fault in perfection is that it's so damn boring!

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

Life isn’t passing me by, it’s trying to run me over

Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

If Walmart is lowering prices daily, then how come none of it is free yet?

Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

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