Avatar: I hate Maine. --Cujo

Wow, typing in white open blank spaces is weird. Oh, well. Let's see:

There's two of us, one of us is writing and the other is probably sleeping under a tree. He's odd, even if I'm the supposedly crazy one.

I'm bored.

I'm also mostly a cartoonist and pseudo-parent (my parents didn't think stopping at four, five, six, or seven was a good idea), so I'm not sure why I'm here, except to be able to review more stories? Oh, well, whatever. The other one is a writer, you may call him Cujo. Almost everyone does. No, don't ask why. He's also known as Beware of Dogs to the Flight 29 Down crowd; those few authors who diligently stick to the show that went dead a few years ago. I'd salute you, but you can't see me. Plus, I'm too tired. I just spelled diligently and salute wrong.

Reason for a duel account: it means only ONE email account with PSYCH in both name places. We're lazy. Well, I am, but I can blame that on my nervous system. I unofficially have the nervous system of a yearling druggie. I know this because I take drugs given to me by the doctor that would kill the rest of you suckers. I also have a temperature of 94 degrees.

Stephenie Meyer owes me millions. Wait, but I don't sparkle... She still owes me millions. Even Cujo my possibly partially Native American friend is about 6'9", height-wise. The only difference is, I'd never write a teen girl book series. I don't stoop that low. I may play with illegal homemade guns, but that? Never. Oh, and don't mention that to the cops. They tend not to like that. But, hey, I live in hick-town/gang-ville. Who cares? They're terrified of us carnies as it is. And, to note, after I was forced to suffer through that gag-boring movie, Cujo and I decided to parody the thing. Casper (Th Ghst f Slss Frnc) also gave us her copy of the novel.

Anyhow, to anyone who's reading this, you look so much better than normal. Seriously. Must be the computer/smart phone light.

Oh, and yes, Cujo is single. Go on, pester him about it! Stalk him, or whatever. He hates that, but luckily you aren't in the general area so he can't rip your head off your shoulders. No, don't get scared. Send a PM and just make him all frazzled. It's hilarious to watch. Trust me. It's worth the grief I'll get for putting you up to it...

-The Monster (i.e. WOODLAWNIAN)

P.S. Don't you love my sweetly ironic nickname? Oh, you don't get it? Darn. I forget, not everyone's "read" Haze (i.e. had it told in story version because no one seems to want to write it).

Cujo's Space

Hello. Yeah. I'm basically here to play one half of Statler and Waldorf. I've tried to write a few things, but fanfiction isn't my thing, really. Not something I keep on top of. Otherwise, I'm a horror writer. No, not a slasher-movie writer. I just like--well, inflicting the emotion through literature (and art). (Eat your shadow before it eats you, to paraphrase somebody I forget.)

Yes. Basically I'm a fan of Wire in the Blood, Life on Mars, and Stephen King. Yes, I know he's so popular. I can't bloody help it, though. Picked up "Pet Sematary" before I could drive a car. Stuck like glue. I also have a fondness for Kate Cary (who I will refer to as "Queen of Gore") and Scott Westerfield. Yeah. I think that's about it. I was convinced to write a Flight 29 Down fanfic (which you can find in the archive) and an essay on how America is following in the footsteps of The Monster's forefather's home, the Wiemar Republic, and the movie Cabaret (the essay no longer exists online after the "Are you serious?!" comments). I'm horrible at essays.

Yeah. That's about it. And don't believe him. I am not that tall (knock off a few inches) and mostly Irish. Or something. I'm a mutt. Ironically.

P.S. We currently have the next chapter of that one Twilight spoof (our first) about finished. More or less. But we ARE writing it. Be happy, peons.

P.P.S. Neither of us knew what 'psychotic' meant. Sorry. We just know we get that along with most people we know when the topic comes up (shows, mostly) because we have warped senses of humor. No offense intended. (I'm currently reading a psychology book. For enjoyment, yeah.)

P.P.P.S. Also, there is this old dude writer (Charles De Lint) who is more technologically savvy than I am. *whacks self with herring* I FAIL.

P.P.P.S. I enjoy annoying people with tack-ons, yeah. Just in general, actually. And I like to mock TM. But I will stop because I now (weirdly) feel like some kid sending notes to a crush. (Speaking of: What happened to cooties? Bah.)

March 5th: Just watched "Scream". Psychos. (Is that where the trend is from?) Oh, and we're not that crazy, I promise. But... What the...? I don't even... Eh, anyway--weirdly nice characterization for a slasher movie. And nice costumes. And why am I making myself sound like a French Man United fan? I don't even... And can people take offense to that? I bet they can. I hear over in the West you get people holding protests over a literal drowned rat... So, probably? Eh, I take offense to the whole 'would get lynched if I don't compare comment to something dastardly' thing. So there.

-Beware of Dogs