I'm Keri.(:

You are most likly on here because you read some of my storys and liked them and decieded to learn about me.

I love to write but i'm not to open about that with my friends. To be honest I really could live without my friends.

I love to read. It helps me cope with my emotions. My favorite books would be Maximum ride, Twilight, Chocolate and Blood, Silver Kiss, Sail, and many more.

My favorite bands are; Nickelback, Mayday Parade, Cobra StarShip, My Chemical Romance, 3oh!3, Disturbed, Paramore, The raconteurs, The red jumpsuit Apreates, Hollywood Undead, Trapt, Red, Simple plan, Crossfade, hinder, Alesana, Papa roach, Deepfield, and Much more. As you can tell I loveeee music.

I am going to advise you not to talk to me unless you like talking. But if you do then we should get along fine.

One more thing, i am KINDA a grammer freak, so if i tell you on a review you have bad grammer Don't take it personally.

Fanfiction people really do rule the world, well atleast they should. Other people annoy me. DEEPLY.

So here is random sh!t i found on other people's profiles

Ipod/Mp3 survey.

1. How does the world see you? I'd hate to be you when people find out what this song is about, Mayday parada – gee, thanks.

2. Will I have a happy life? Preditcable, Good charlotte– hahaa.

3. What do my friends really think of me? God must hate me, Simple Plan – mean.

4. Do people secretly lust after me? Never let this go, paramore – sure.

5. How can I make myself happy? Electorshock- 3oh!3-whatever/

6. What should I do with my life? She cries,Simple plan- no thanks.

7. What is some good advice for me? All these things i hate, Bullet for my valintine. – amazing.

8. How will I be remembered? Teenagers- My chemical Romance. -YES.

9. What is my signature dancing song? Run, don't walk - Hey Monday- AMAZING.

10. What do I think my current theme song is? 45 shinedown -okayyy.

11. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Somebody like you, pop evil- YES YES.

12. What song will play at my funeral? Washing away the world, crossfade - i knew it.

13. What type of men/women do you like? Perfect, simple plan -NO WAY MAN.

14. What is my day going to be like? you belong with me, taylor swift. -KEWL.

15. What will tomorrow bring? got money- lil wayne- WHY IS THIS EVEN ON MY IPOD. i'm soooo ashamed.

Character Quiz

1. Max (Maximum Ride)

2. Emmett (Twilight)

3. Jacob (Twilight)

4. Fang (Maximum Ride)

5.Iggy (MaximumRide)

6. Gazzy (Maximum Ride)

7. Vivian (Blood and Chocolate)

8.Angel(Maximum Ride)

9. Ari (Maximum Ride)

10. Edward(Twilight.)

"Alright, quiz time!! ."

1 woke you up in the middle of the night?

Mm, I'd think it was a dream and faint.

Number 2 asked you to go out with him?

OH YUSH Ofcourse.(:

Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering?

Tell him to jump in to. hahahaha jk. Idek.

4 announced he's going to marry 9 tomorrow?

Well, 9 is like dead. and they hate each other, but that would be rather intersting.

5 cooked you dinner?

Iggy is a good cook.;)

6 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?

Laugh, then push him in the ocean.(:

7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family?

YUSH, i'm a werewolf?

8 got into the hospital somehow?

NOOO, I am soo stealing her powers when she dies.

9 made fun of your friends?

I hate my friends, all the more power to you Dead guy.

10 ignored you all the time?

Well, he is a vampire, and he always ignored Bella, and he NOW loves her, so HE LOVES ME? YUSH.

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 do?

Well, damn. What'd I do to these serial killers? O_o Max, would kick there asses, then take me to FANG. YUSH, right..haha.

You're on a vacation with number 2 and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do?

Well, Kill me probably, if he seen blood.

It's your birthday. What will 3 give you?

Uhh, a kiss?

Jacob: Rightt. .

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 do?

Mm, Save me. Then i'll pretend to be dead so he'll give me mouth to mouth.

You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarassed. What will 5 do?

He would laugh.

You're about to marry number 10. What's 6's reaction?

Well, That would be AMAZING but bela might object, oh well i'll kick her ass. and Gazzy, He wouldn't know.

You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up?

Honestly, she'd tell me to find another man. haha.

You're angry about it afterwards, how does 8 calm you down?

Uh, Contorl my mind and make me forget it?

You compete in some tournament. How does 9 support you?

Uh, He's dead?:(

You can't stop laughing. What will 10 do?

Probably ignor me.

Number 1 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?

Gasp! How did you know?! Have you quiz people been spying on my dreams? B/c i want to BE her.:)

2 tells you about his deeply hidden love for number 9. Your reaction?

Well, I didn't know Emmett wasd LIKE that. I mean come on. Ari IS DEAD.

You're dating number 3 and introduce him to your parents. Will they get along?

WTF? i'm dating Jacob black? YUSH. I think my dad would get a gun and shoot him, but my mom would be like isn't he a little old.

Number 4 loves number 9 as well. What does that mean?

ARI IS DEAD. and Fang hatessss him.

Will number 5 and 6 ever kiss?

Maybe in a brotherly way.

6 appears to be a player, he breaks many hearts. What do you do?

Uhm, Gazzy is WAYY to sweet for that.

You had a haircut and 7 can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind

STOP LOOKING AT ME.

Number 8 thinks she'll never get a boyfriend. What will you tell her?

She toatlly will, she only eight for god sake.

Number 9 gives you a bagel. Do you eat it?

HE IS DEAD.

1 offers you a CD. Considereing her tastes, do you listen to it?

YES.

2 suddenly goes emo. How does 8 feel about this?

Emmett? WTF? Can a vampire BE emo? Angel would control his mind and make him happy.

10 wants money and decides to get a job at Chuck E' Cheeses. How long does he stay?

HAHAHAH, Kill everyone. Like 2 minutes.

3 told 6 she started her period.

Uhm, JACOB IS A GUYYYY. Gazzy would laugh and fart.

4 slaps 9 with a fish for going out with 7.

Fang slaps Ari with a fish for dating Vivian? Why? WTF? This is sooo wringe.

5 Comes up to you wearing a big pink dress. What's your reaction?

XDDD IGGY IN A DRESS. YUSH.

6 cusses 2 out in german. 3 is secretly watching from behind a bush. What does she do?

Gazzy cusses Emmett out in german DOES GAZZY EVEN KNOW GERMAN? Then Jacob would most likely Laugh.

7 got high.

To be honest? I'm NOT suprised.

8 reads your fanfictions an complains. What is it about?

Probably because she isn't really as nosey as i call her.

9 can't stand 1, so how does he get his revenge when she spills Soda all over him?

Thats max's brother, Ari is DEAD.

10 starts working at a bar..

Well, edward would be a nice stripper.

1 comes in and tells you she's pregnant from 2.

MAX IS PREGANT WITH EMMETTS BABY? WTF? Not possible.

1 breaks up with you. For what reason did he break up with you?

When did Max start dating me? Nooo, i'm not that way.

2 is in love with 4, she confesses. how does 4 respond?

Emmett is in love with Fang, AKWARD.

3 is a drug addict. what do you do?

Not suprised. Help him.

4 kiss 8. what's your reaction?

WTF FANG, Angel is like 8.

5 wants to go to hansmall. what is he going to buy from there?

Iggy shopping? nicee.

6 kisses your boyfriend. what do you do?

Gazzy? AWHHH.

7 is missing .where do you go to look for her?

Poor vivian No where.

8 needs a tutor. on what subject does he need tutoring?

Uh, Angel? She is a girl and really smart.

9 wants to be a cheerleader. what do you say?

HE IS DEAD.

10 hates you. why?

Edward, hates me because i killed bella.

1 gives you a teddy bear. why?

No, no. Your mistaken it's for Fang.

2 and 6 is fighting. what do you do?

Emmett is fighting Gazzy? Poor gazzy.

3 ate 7. what's your reaction?

Jacob ate Vivian, Werewolf and werewolf, alright. hahah.

Laugh

4 died. how?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOT FANG!! D; I dunno how he died!! Maybe he got hurt trying to protect Max? :(

5 turns invisible. what does he do to you?

Mmm, i know.

6 loses memory. you have to give him a new memory. what do you say to him?

Oh, he is my boyfriend.

7 is having her baby today! what's her/his name?

kya.xD

8 is a pervert. he's coming right at you. what do you do?

Angel is not a pervert.

9 is going through a tough break up. how do you cheer her up?

He is DEAD, MY FRUKING GOD

10 broke up with 9. what do you do?

Uh, There not like that.

Normal 0

YOUR GUY SIDE:

x You love hoodies.
x You love jeans.
x Dogs are better than cats.
x It's hilarious when people get hurt.
x You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
X Sad movies suck.
x You own/ed an X-Box.
x Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
x At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
x You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
x You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
x Gory movies are cool.
x You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
x You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
x Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
x Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
x You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
xSports are fun.
x Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night--sometimes

TOTAL: 19

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

x You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
x You wear eyeliner.
x You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
x You like hanging out at the mall.
x You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
x You don't like the movie Star Wars.
x You were in gymnastics/dance.
x It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
x You smile a lot more than you should.
x You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
x You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
x You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
x You love the movies.
x Used to play with dolls as little kid.
x Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing.

TOTAL: 15

Quotes:

"Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?" ~ Anonymous

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." ~ Anonymous

"Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it the present." ~ Anonymous

"If you know me, chances are you hate me." ~ Anonymous

"Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over." ~ Anonymous

"When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." ~ Anonymous

"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up." ~ Anonymous

"Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it." ~ Anonymous

"Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through." ~ Anonymous

"The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break." ~ Anonymous

"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous

This just goes to show how absent-minded our world is.

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

Crazy is a relative term in my family!

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

I love deadlines. I like to wave at them as they pass by

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

never do anything you dont want to explain to the paramedics

apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese, there are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother colin. or my younger brother ho-chan-chu. but i think it's colin.

there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

Can mute people burp?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

If dance were any easier, it would be called football.

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

What have you pulled?

If you have pulled a Max: You have made a snap decision and decided to do it without thinking it through first.

If you have pulled a Fang: You have sneaked up behind someone without them noticing, making it seem like you came out of nowhere

If you have pulled a Iggy: You have run into an inaminate object without realizing it was there. This could include, poles, wall, doors, tables, etc.

If you have pulled a Nudge: You have talked about something nonstop for the past five minutes, not allowing anyone else to speak. This is also known as rambling.

If you have pulled a Gazzy: You have farted in a big group of people really loudly, and everyone could hear it and smell it.

If you have pulled a Angel: You have invaded someone elses personal space, without any consideration for that person. You can also pull a Angel by gaining a whole lot of useless powers that you don't really need...but I highly recomend the first one.

If you have ever pulled any of these things stick this on your profile and write which ones you have pulled

I haved pulled a Max, a Fang, a Iggy a Nudge, and a Angle. Don't think i'll ever do that Gazzy thing.

Maximum Ride:

"We were in a top-secret facility in the middle of Death Valley, officially called 'Freaking Nowhere' on any map, and yet he managed to produce marshmallows." -Max

"Let's get out of here. A Ouija board just told me to save the world." -Max

"Can you giggle while racing for your life and protecting a six-year-old? I can." -Max

"Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to." -Fang

"Now, Max, I think we both know your parents aren't missionaries." -FBI investigator
"No? Well, for God's sake, don't tell them. They'd be crushed. Thinking they're doing the Lord's work, and all." -Max

"Can we see him?" -Iggy
"Ig, I hate to break this to you, but you're blind." -Max

"Hey whats taking you so long? What are you doing, shaving your mustache?"
"I dont have a mustache you idoit, and neither do you. Maybe, in a few years, we can always hope" - Iggy/Max

"It feels weird that no ones throwing a black hood over my head" -Max

"1)Sardonic laughter (always a good one)
2)Rolled eyes and snort of disbelief
3)Sarcastic "youve got to be kidding me" -Max

"Its a baby plane. Its gonna grow up to be seven-forty-seven one day" -Angel

"Louisiana, the state that road maintence forgot" -Max

"Mad crazy, not mad angry, though a lot of them do seem to have anger managment issues, espeically around me" -Max

"Fair isn't fair, Dean. Like I'm supposed to help you because fair is fair? Try, "I need you to help me so I wont rip out your spine and beat you with it." I might respond to that, maybe."

"Total you're black"
"I prefer Canine American" - Total/Iggy

"I take it you don't want me to call your parents."
"Umm, No."
Hello, Lab? May I speak to a test tube please? - Max/Dr Martinez

It was like Christmas, and his birthday, and sort of Halloween all rolled up into one. - Ari

"Now, let's say they come and get us." -Max
"And, like, the halls are full of zebras."-Ig
"And suddenly tons of bubbles are everywhere." -Gazzy
"And then everyone starts to eat beef jerky," -Nudge
"Yeah. I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent, so people are choking and gagging: and let's throw beef jerky right into their eyes! Now, that's a plan!" -Ig

"Buckingham Palace? You know, like where the Queen lives. And Mr. Queen?" - Nudge

"Is dere anysing special about you?Anysing worth saving?" "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." - Ter Borcht/ Fang

"Fang! This is a huge break! Of coarse we should go check it out!" -Max
"But we're grounded" -Fang
I stared at him for a second, and then we both burst out laughing.

"Max? Can I come in? I just have to brush my teeth." -Iggy
"No - I'm in a towel." -Max
"I'm blind" -Iggy
"No! You're kidding! Are you sure?" -Max
"Very funny." -Iggy -Max/Iggy

"This is like a clown car." -Total
"Why does the dog get to sit on your lap? How about a kid?" -Gazzy
"Oh, 'The dog.' Very nice." -Total
"Because you're not allowed to have people on your lap in front seats. I'ts not safe. If a cop saw us we'd be stopped for sure. You want Total back there?" -Max
"NO!!" -Everyone
"Just deal people. Only for a little while. We're going to stop as soon as we find a place to sleep." -Max
"The dog." -Total
"Shh." -Max
"Are you saying you're not a dog." -Gazzy
"Okay you two. Enough! Everyone quiet, okay? We're looking for a place to sleep. Just chill." -Max
"Does anyone wasnt to sing 'Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall?" -Fang
"NO!!" -everyone - Max/Gazzy/Total/Fang

Here's something that might not occur to you: if a state trooper sees a weird, patchwork Toyota Echo hurtling down I-95, and it looks like half
a small country is emigrating to the states in this one little car, you might get stopped.
Just FYI. -Max

"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"~Max

"For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"~Iggy

"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us. ~Max

'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' Gazzy barked."

'We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?' (Max)
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. 'She offered to cook breakfast.'" (Fang)

"'You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me.'We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director)
'And yet I still can't program my DVD player,' I said." (Max)

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap alot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no flipping way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh crap, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Idiots!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12.00 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

This is so so funny.(:

This had me laughing for ages - Please read

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Jasper,"...and it was gooooood

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not sing: "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Fergie taught me how to spell delicious and glamorious. But not so much tastey!

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

"Doctors say I have multiple personalties. We disagree with that."

"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did."

"It doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full, just drink it and get it over with."

"I'm not afraid of Death. What's he gonna do, kill me?"

Put this in your profile if you know a person or two who needs to get squished by a bus... or Tyler Crowley's van

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together."

"Education is important, school however, is another matter."

"Don’t mess with me - I've got a stick."

"1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you."

"You know your addicted when Volterra is added to your computer dictionary."

"Whoever said that nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door."

"I'm the kind of girl who falls and apologizes for it."

"I do not suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it."

"I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on."