Hey fellow book-lovers!

Now before I get off the computer and curl up with the book Angel, here are my top five fav books:

1. MAXIMUM RIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Kingdom Keepers

3. Harry Potter

4. Dragon Rider

5. A Wrinkle In Time

And those who have read MAXIMUM RIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you of course know why I have put it first on my list. And for those who haven't read it, YOU HAVE TO READ IT BECAUSE IT IS SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway...

Now that you've (probably) read that, lets focus on more important matters...

Like this Stupid Test.

l
V

The Stupid Test

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that apply to you!

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip-flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it(joy to the world, that barney is dead, we barbecued his head! what happened to his body? we flushed it down the potty! around and round it goes, around and round it goes! oh no, step back because the potty explodes!)
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were (usually right after my birthday)
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jamb
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out 81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a Hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.

Yeah... now you know about all of my flaws and hobbies. Hobbits' hobbies! Hobbits' hobbies! Man, that's fun to type AND say!

Okay, now back to some other stuff.

If you have not read Maximum Ride and want to in the future, skim down a few lines and look for the bunny. If you do NOT want to read Maximum Ride, you might want to skip the rest of my profile.

So fellow Maximum Riders,

the book Fang got me SO ANGRY at the following people:

Fang

Angel

Iggy

Nudge

The Gasman

Dylan

Max

Jeb

Dr. Chu or whatever (I'm so mad at him I just want to forget his name!)

Dr. Huchen-Gander-something (Same with him, too.)

Angel

Angel

ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAN was she an idiot! I mean, she REALLY thought that she could be a flock leader? AND she agreed to work with Dr. Huchen-Gander? Seriously! WHAT WAS SHE THINKING!? That sentence reminds me of a song I heard... It's called 'I Think I'll Think Twice'. It goes like,

Teacher told us yesterday you're gonna have a test,
Better study hard because you wanna do your best,
I spent my whole evenin' playin' video games,
Now I'm gonna flunk it, man I must've been insane!

That's only part of the song, but if you change the words up a little, it can sound a lot like Angel's scene:

My Voice said one day to me that Fang was gonna die,
That didn't hurt me at all, no tears were in my eyes,
I was traitor to the flock and teamed up with that guy,
Now Fang's body's limp and pale, I think I'm gonna cry!

Another verse (In Max's eyes):

Angel has attempted to become the flock's new boss,
When I said no she betrayed us-not a giant loss.
Then I figured out that she with that evil guy!
I HAVE GOT A PLAN FOR HER- LATER SHE'S GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!

Wow... when you read books, you can make a LOT of connections.
of course then in the book Angel, forgiveness is placed upon her, and so is all that crazy stuff. shhhhhh...

(\_/) This is bunny. Copy and paste
( ._.) bunny onto your page to help
(")_(") him gain world domination!

Yes. There's bunny. And now, back to some other other stuff.

Doesn't almost everybody agree that all book-related movies aren't as good as the real books?

If you don't, that's your opinion, but I think that the real books are better than the movies.

I mean WAY better.
And now, more about Maximum Ride with the...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH MAXIMUM RIDE WHEN... TEST!!!!!!

X the ones that apply to you!

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When...

[X]1. You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog.

[X]2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming.

[X]3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel.

[X]4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari.

[X]5. You claim you have wings.

[X]6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'.

[X]7. You daydream about meeting the flock.

[ ]8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more.

[ ]9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect.

[X]10. You study about birds.

[X]11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal.

[X]12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both.

[X]13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking.

[X]14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'.

[X]15. You are counting down the days for the next book.

[X]16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight. (the midnight premiere is ALWAYS at midnight. Hence the name.)

[X]17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser.

[X]18. You hate dog crates.

[X]19. You think scientists are evil.

[X]20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's.

[X]21. When your spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch.

[X]22. You've found a new respect for blind people.

[X]23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author.

[X]24. You say 'U and A' a lot.

[X]25. You think you have a Voice like Max.

[X]26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it.

[X]27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR.

[X]28. You know what 'Fax' is.

[X]29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween.

[X]30. You claim to have brain attacks.

[X]31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them.

[X]32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is.

[X]33. You daydream of flying.

[X]34. You love chocolate chip cookies.

[X]35. You seriously felt like you were in the book.

[X]36. If you want to become a writer because of MR

[X]37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it.

[X]38. If you love Fan-fiction.

[X]39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride.

[X]40. You want a talking dog.

Yep. I don't do only two of those things. There's never enough about Maximum Ride, but lets get back to some random stuff.

Please read the following aloud in front of a group or friend:

This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is make cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is talk cat.
This is for cat.
This is 45 cat.
This is seconds cat.

Now only read the third word in each sentence.

And now, time to figure out if you're more of a guy or a girl, even if you're the opposite.

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleep-overs with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink. (i wear it but not always. :P )
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance. (only for a two years)
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing. (not absolutely everything, just mostly)

So I'm 20% girl and 36% boy... what about the other 44%? Am I an alien? AAH! ALL THIS TIME, I NEVER KNEW! (CRIES)

Wait... that might mean that I'll grow wings and be like Max! OMG THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!
Now...

THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME UNTIL YOU READ THIS:

1, What color is your toothbrush?

Purple

2, Name one person who made you smile today:

Simba and Nala :) from The Lion King

3, What were you doing at 8 am this morning:

Sleeping

4, What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

reading fanfiction

5, What is your favorite candy bar?

Hershey's air delight

6, Have you ever been to a strip club?

No way, and I never will.

7, What is the last thing you said aloud?

"What is the last thing you said aloud..."

8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Mississippi Mud

9, What was the last thing you had to drink?

Chocolate milk

10, Do you like your wallet?

I don't have a wallet...

11, What was the last thing you ate?

Stuff

12, Have you bought any new clothing items this week?

Nah.

13, The last sporting event you watched?

Blah. I don't do sports, watching or playing.

14, What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

The SUPER-BUTTERY!!!! kind.

15, Who is the last person you sent a text message too?

A dude idk who accidentally texted me in spanish.

16, Ever go camping?

No, but I want to so bad!!!

17, Do you take vitamins daily?

Nah

18, Do you go to church every Sunday?

Most of the time...

19, Do you have a tan?

Nope

20, Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?

No way.

21, Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't drink soda XP

22, What did your last text message say?

'Um, i think that you might have accidentally texted my phone, you might wanna check.'

23, What are you doing tomorrow?

I don't know...

25, Look to your left, what do you see?

A bunch of skylanders and a pair of headphones.

26, What color is your watch?

No watch

27, What do you think of when you hear Australia?

Kangaroos!!! Kanga Roo = Memories of Pooh Bear!!

28, What is your birthstone?

Sapphire

29, Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?

I don't have control over that kind of stuff.

30, What is your favorite number?

13

31, Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?

My mom i think

32, Any plans today?

Eat dinner...

33, How many states have you lived in?

Just the one I'm in right now.

34, Biggest annoyance right now?

My mom calling me down for dinner.

35, Last song listened to?

Don't Stop Believing

36, Can you say the alphabet backwards?

Yeah, it takes a bit of concentration though.

37, Do you have a maid service clean your house?

occasionally

38, Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?

Not very favorite, i just like walking around barefoot.

39, Are you jealous of anyone?

Not really.

40, Is anyone jealous of you?

Maybe...?

41, Do you love anyone?

Lots of family, but I don't really have a crush on anyone

42, Do any of your friends have children?

No!

44, Do you hate anyone that you know right now?

Perhaps... :)

45, Do you use the word 'hello' daily?

Yeah, hello, hi, etc.

46, What color is your car?

No car.

47, Do you like cats?

Yeah, but I don't have one...

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?

Yeah! MAXIMUM RIDE!!!!!

49, Have you ever been to Six Flags?

Like, only three times

50, How did you get your worst scar?

I had an accident with a safety pin on my arm. Not very safe, are they?

Which fairy tale do you relate to the most?

Um... does Maximum Ride count?

Do you hate going to the dentist?

Yeah.

What do you do for Halloween?

Trick or treat, duh.

Do you have many friends?

Nope. I'm more of a loner.

What is on your mind at this very moment in time?

MAXIMUM RIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you often believe what people tell you?

Pretty much half the time.

Have you ever been so pressured that you did something stupid?

Nah. I don't need pressure to do something stupid XD

Do you like the current life you live?

I guess that some more money could lighten things up a bit :)

Whenever you are down, what do you usually do?

I go scream in my pillow or just sog it up with tears. Pillows are wonderful companions.

Do you keep up with a diary?

Nope.

Do people usually understand you?

"Ra2Ah3Ra(MaMa2)Ga2Ooh(La2)=Bad Romance.

What is the most unique thing you like to do?

Me: "hey everybody! I like to read BOOKS!"

Everybody: "Gasp! Who does that anymore! I'll go rot my brain and watch TV for 10 hours straight!"

That pretty much sums it up.

What is the name of a main character from your favorite movie?

When the MR movie comes out, Max. Recently, Mallyumkins from the non-animated Alice In Wonderland.

Do you have a crazy uncle?

As strange as it may seem, yes.

If we are what we eat, what are you?

Unfortunately, chocolate.

Do you own any REAL designer purses?

Nope.

Can you name all seven dwarves?

Doc, Sneezy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Happy, Bashful and Dopey. I'm a big Disney geek, and it may be surprising, but i'm a bigger geek with Disney than Max Ride O. O

What's on your Christmas list this year?

Books

What holiday is your birthday closest to?

No idea.

How old were you when you received your first kiss and where were you?

I was two minutes old when my mom kissed me... in the hospital... i think.

If you could visit any time period, which one would you visit?

I would go back in time and finally meet my grandfather.

Ever been high?

High hopes, high up, high blood pressure..

Are you totally amazing at guitar hero?

No, but my sister is. Or used to be.

Do you like your hand writing?

Eeh...

Do you want to be an invisible ninja when you grow up?

Yeah, sure, whatever.

What is your Patronus?

A fox! That's my favorite animal.

Do you always remember to bring a towel when you shower?

Nope. Never.

If you read Maximum Ride Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports in less than four hours, copy this into your profile.

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you love Maximum Ride, copy and paste this into your profile.

Maximum Ride Quotes

“Basically, I have two speeds... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.” - Max

“Did you know that wasn’t me, the other Max?” I asked. “Yeah.” “When?” “Right away.” “How?” I persisted. “We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?” He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. “She offered to cook breakfast.”

“Fang: 'Man, You weigh a freaking ton! What have you been eating, rocks?' Max: 'Why, is your head missing some?”

“Yes!” said Fang, punching the air. “Freaks rule.”

“You...are...a...fridge...with wings,' Fang ground out, punching an Eraser hard with every word. 'We're...freaking...ballet...dancers.”

"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It's a grain. It's like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem.” - Max

“What I said yesterday didn't mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!" - Max "Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me... Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it." - Fang

“I feel like, like pudding," Iggy groaned. "Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain.”

“What happened to your tan?"--Fang "It was dirt." --Max”

“Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance?”

“I love you Max,"Fang said..."God, Max I love you so much." I know. I thought. I've always known”

"I once ate nine Snickers bars without barfing, and that was a record!' Nudge said. 'Zat's hardly a talent' Ter Borcht scoffed. 'Really? I'd like to see you do it!"

Fang- "Besides my good looks? I play a mean harmonica."

Iggy- "Well, I have a well-developed sense of irony."

Gazzy- "I vill now destroy de Snickerz Bahrz!"

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods. Comments in parentheses by my friend.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (How stupid could you be to do that?

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (Great way to promote shoplifting!!!!

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (How else would you use it?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But remember..it's just a suggestion...)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late...)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Really?? I wasn't sure...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (I thought that's how you ironed your clothes..oops..honey, forget what I said about ironing your clothes!!)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (Yeah like kids really work in factories still...)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (You don't say!!)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (That makes me wonder what else I could use it for)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (And that would be...)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (OMG!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (So thay want to give us the real artifical nuts...)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Sure, go ahead and crush another child's dreams!!!)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Then I'll just stop it with any other body part.)

On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yeah, I really want to straighten my hair while I'm washing it!!!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (...I thought you used a spoon...)

On a can of bug spray:“Harmful to bees”. (I thought it was harmful to ants)

On a life-saving device: “This is not a life-saving device”. (Note to self, don't buy from this company)

On a TV remote control: “Not dish washer safe”. (So that's why it won't work anymore...)

A New Zealand insect spray "Not tested on animals." (Obviously.. you tested it on insects, duh!)

A Television Owner’s Manual "Do not pour liquids into your television set." (People really get payed for writing this??)

A VCR box says "Instructional video on hooking up your VCR included." (How can you watch it????!!!!!)

A can of self-defense pepper spray "May irritate eyes." (Really???)

A can of windscreen de-icing spray "Spray works in sub-zero temperatures." (That helps a lot)

A cardboard sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard "Do not drive with sunshield in place." (Well, that explains a lot.)

A cartridge for a laser printer "Do not eat toner." (Awww... but it tastes good)

A computer mouse "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." (Where did they get that idea...)

A container of underarm deodorant "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." (Amazing.)

A dishwasher carries this warning "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher." (Oh...Srry kids can't play in there anymore...)

A popular manufactured fireplace log "Caution - Risk of Fire." (What's it supposed to do...play music?)

A rubber ball toy "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." (Isn't that why I'm buying it?)

A sharpening stone "Knives are sharp." (You don't say!)

A snowblower warns "Do not use snowthrower on roof." (And how exactly am I supposed to get a snowthrower on the roof?)

A baby stroller "Remove child before folding." (Oh. Better go get little Bobby out...)

A pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." (Darn.)

An electric router made for carpenters "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." (Shoot. There goes my quick fix to this cavity.)

An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter "Do not use near fire, flame or sparks." (Okay... then how am I suppose to use it?)

A rock garden "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." (Ah.)

A Fruit Roll-Up snack "Remove plastic before eating." (That's why it doesn't taste good...)

On a bag of Marshmellows: "Flammable" (Really? I thought they were fire resistant...oops...)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

I am that girl, the one who likes books more than boys. The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy. The one who always wonders what she did wrong. The one who writes to escape. The one who just wants to help. The one that really wants to make a difference. The one that sticks to her values. The one that refuses to believe that this is it. The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a friend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't ever been asked out. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Maximum Ride and Disney, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. I am like Maximum Ride. I know that I am different. I know that most of the girls at my school think that I'm weird, stupid, crazy, lame, and careless. But what do I say to them?
Nobody's perfect. But we have to deal with it. Because if we don't , we might end up badly. Right now, This is who we are, who we will be. I am Maximum Ride.
Long may I soar.