dorkdiares4eva666XXX
Hey, my name is dorkdiares4eva666XXX. I'm a girl and super gothic and shit. I like Dork Diaries and Twilight Sparkle. Why do are guy freinds?... why do are guyfreinds listion to everything we say ,but they never say anything about themselfs? Why do are guyfreinds always want to hang with us but then suddenly dont talk to use anymore? Why do are guyfreinds say we arnt dateing to there other freinds but always take us out for movies and junk? why do are guyfreinds ackt like jerks to us but when ever we are hurting they wont leve your side? Why do are guy freinds get all protectev and sad when we go out on dates? Why do are guyfreinds go on dates with girls that are bad for them and when we say to stop date dateing them they emidiotly end it? Why do are guy freinds only hang out with us? Why do are guy freinds blush whenever we say the word kiss? Why do are guy freinds secreatly have crushes on us? copy and past this onto your prophile if you secreatly have a crush on your guy freind Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandma, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emoI'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a jerk. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshiping baby killer. I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick some one's ass I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS I'm a girl who actually EATS, so I MUST be fat I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists I'm in MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a dork I say what I WANT, so I MUST be a jerk I have STRAIGHT A's, so I MUST have no social life I have GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be banging them all I wear what I WANT, so I MUST be a poser I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore I'm a JEW, so I MUST greedy I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic I don't like pink, hearts and stuff like that so I MUST be a tomboy .I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems I'm FEMALE, so I MUST be sexy I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at work I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST go to church every Sunday I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST not do anything on Halloween I’m AUSTRALIAN, so I MUST wear a cork hat and say “G’day Mate” Month one Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby. Month Two Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here. Month Three You know what Mommy I'm a boy! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me. Month Four Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too. Month Five You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion? Month Six I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me! Month Seven Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak. If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile calling me UGLY, wont make you pretty. calling me DUMB, wont make you smart. callling me a LOSER, wont make you cool. calling me FAKE, wont make you real calling me WEAK, wont make you strong. calling me FAT, wont make you skinny. calling me POOR, wont make you rich. so why bother?What a Boyfriend SHOULD do: When she walks away from you mad Follow her When she stares at your mouth Kiss her When she pushes you or hits you Grab her and don't let go When she starts cussing at you Kiss her and tell her you love her When she's quiet Ask her whats wrong When she ignores you Give her your attention When she pulls away Pull her back When you see her at her worst Tell her she's beautiful When you see her start crying Just hold her and don't say a word When you see her walking Sneak up and hug her waist from behind When she's scared Protect her When she lays her head on your shoulder Tilt her head up and kiss her When she steals your favorite hat Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night When she teases you Tease her back and make her laugh When she doesn't answer for a long time Reassure her that everything is okay When she looks at you with doubt Back yourself up When she says that she likes you she really does more than you could understand When she grabs at your hands Hold hers and play with her fingers When she bumps into you bump into her back and make her laugh When she tells you a secret keep it safe and untold When she looks at you in your eyes don't look away until she does When she misses you she's hurting inside When you break her heart the pain never really goes away When she says its over she still wants you to be hers When she repost this bulletin she wants you to read it - Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's butt am I kicking?" If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will : Call you. Kiss you. Love you. Text you Dear bullies, See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he Talked His friend out of suicide. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. Re-Post this if u r against bullying. I bet 95% of u won't. Please Pass On: Her hair was up in a pony tail, Her favorite dress tied with a bow. Today was Daddy's Day at school, And she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, That she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, If she... went to school alone. But she was not afraid; She knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates Of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, For her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, She tried to keep her daughter home. But the little girl went to school Eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees A dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, For everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seats One by one the teacher called A student from the class. To introduce their daddy, As seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, Every child turned to stare. Each of them was searching, A man who wasn't there. 'Where's her daddy at?' She heard a boy call out. 'She probably doesn't have one,' Another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, She heard a daddy say, 'Looks like another deadbeat dad, Too busy to waste his day.' The words did not offend her, As she smiled up at her Mom. And looked back at her teacher, Who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, Slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, Came words incredibly unique. 'My Daddy couldn't be here, Because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, Since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, And how much he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories He taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, And taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, And ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone. 'Cause my daddy's al ways with me, Even though we are apart I know because he told me, He'll forever be in my heart' With that, her little hand reached up, And lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, Beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads, Her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, Who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love Of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, Doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, Staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, But its message clear and loud. 'I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, But heaven's just too far. You see he is a Brittish soldier And died just this past year When a roadside bomb hit his convoy And taught Britians to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away.' And then she closed her eyes, And saw him there that day. And to her mothers amazement, She witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, All starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, Who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, They saw him at her side. 'I know you're with me Daddy,' To the silence she called out. And what happened next made believers, Of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, For each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, Was a fragrant long-stemmed rose. And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, By the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, That heaven is never too far. Send this to the people you'll never forget and Remember to send it also to the person that sent It to you. It's a short message to let them know That you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends. Take the time...to live and love. Until eternity..GOD BLESS This is such a unhealthy obsetin but I would love to become a mermaid so bady that Im going to post this on my prophile! start on a full moon at 12:00 at night open a window and look at the full moon for about 5 min. drink water the whole time. now with the window still open meditate.you need to close your eyes ,and sit with your legs togher like a mermaid tail. follow the breathing pattern:breath in for 3 seconds,hold breath for 3 seconds ,breath out for 3 seconds,hold breath for 3 seconds.repeat throughout meditation. consintrate on your breathing till you reach the darkness. now see yourself under the ocean.make things feel,look,and smell as real as you can. look around the ocean scean for a few miniuts.then see a mermaid come out from distince but make the mermaid look like you . now there are only a few possible tail colors for deep sea mermaids they are,silver,dark blue,dark purple,teal,black,green,dark orange,and white.whatever color tail you imagen the mermaid you with will be the color of your tail. once you see the mermaid you ,head for the surface.when you get to the top smell the salt from the ocean and feel the brezz on your face. once you are there the mermaid you will follow. once you are both at the top ask her or him for help to become a deep sea meramid. they should say yes and that they can help.if they say that they cant help you wait fo the next full moon and start from the begining. repeat the meditation till your legs start to hurt. once your legs hurt imagen your chi (white light) move from your stomach to your legs taking fourm of your tail. come out of the meditation and your eyes should go to the full moon. now concentrate on becoming a mermaid.hold 5 shells in one hand and a stalk of coral and a flower in the other. now say"i give because i'm generous.i take because i ask.what i well deserve is what i will get. i deserve to become a mermaid.i need to become a deep sea mermaid..i will get my mermaid tail. so it be and so it is." once you are done with that go to your bathroom and fill the tub as high as it will go. once it is full put in 1 cup of salt and 15 drops of blue food coloring. lock the door and light 2 white candles and place one on both sides of the tub. place a small flat shell in your mouth(make sure it's clean) get into the tub and go under the water. you need to hold your breath as long as you can,when you feel the need to come up for air DON'T!!! just keep holding your breath and it will get esier,in your mind just keep thinking i can hold my breath forever im a mermaid ,a deep sea mermaid over and over.once you REALLY need to come up for air, come up and take the shell out of your mouth and blow out the candles.relak in the tub for about 30 min.the second part of the spell needs to be done on a new moon. this has to be done at sun set. go in your bathroom and lock the door. you need to make a circle out of white candles big enough for you to sit in. take 4 conch shells and put 1 infront of you 1 behind you and 1 on each side of you. sprinkle sand or dirt in the center of the circle.light the candles then turn off all the lights,and get in the circle. take out a pice of paper .and then in blue ink write... i wish to be a deep sea meramid,this is my only wish so please let it come true. when you are writing that down imagen your wish coming true,or imagen what you want. once you do that take out a pice of your hair and tape it over the words "i wish to be a deep sea mermaid" tape it so the words are conected.fold up the paper. once you fold the paper set it in your lap and forget about it. now you need a small mixing bowl full of water. take off your clothing then take the bowl of water and hold it in your hands then say "oh great one,my god,i call upon you in need of your help.bless this water.(hold up bowl of water)bless this water with your power.with your purification ,with your healing and creating powers.bless this water.(put bowl down and stand up ,rub the water ,all of the water on your legs.)when you are done say"with this water you so blessed,may this harm none, the spell is done,so mote it be 3x3x3.let me swim in the sea ,a mermaid to forever be." pick up the pice of paper and hold it over the candle directly infront of you. let the paper burn.take the ashes and stuff it in the shell behind you. blow out the candles then turn on the lights.put the shell with the wish paper in a place you will forget about it. the next morning take the shell you hid and then burry it in your yard. There's a 15 year old girl, and she wished that her dad would come home from the army, because he'd been having problems with his heart and right leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made her wish. At 4:07 p.m. (14 minutes later), the doorbell rang, and there her Dad was, luggage and all!! I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been having trouble in my job and on the verge of quitting. I made a simple wish that my boss would get a new job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55 there was an announcement that he was promoted and was leaving for another city. Believe me...this really works! My name is Ann and I am a giant fat ass. I had always been single and had been hoping to get into a nice, loving relationship for many years. While kind of daydreaming (and right after receiving this email) I wished that a quality person would finally come into my life. That was at 9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 8:55 AM a FedEx delivery man came into my office.He was cute, polite and could not stop smiling at me. He started coming back almost everyday (even without packages) and asked me out a week later. We married 6 minutes later and now have been happily married for over 9000 years. What a great email it was!! Just scroll down to the end, but while you do, think of a wish. Make your wish when you have completed scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the number of minutes it will take for your wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish to come true). Go for it! SCROLL DOWN! STOP! Congratulations! Your wish will now come true in your age minutes. Now follow this carefully...it can be very rewarding! If you repost this within the next 5 min. something major that you've been wanting will happen. This is scary! The phone will ring right after you repost This is fake as fuck and you shouldn't listen to this. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT There was once a girl named Ashley who had a boyfriend named Jack. Jack was the most popular guy in school. The three most popular girls were Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack thought of Ashley as OKAY, but he REALLy liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also. Well of course she did, everyone did! Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies. Courtney tried to steal Jack away everytime she had a chance to. One day, Courtney asked Jack if he wanted to go to the movies. Ashley heard everything...what movie theatre and what time. Ashley approached the movies that night and followed Jack and Courtney. Ashley sat right behind them. she watched them get close to each other and kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it on in the theatre. Courtney told jack "Do you want to come to my place and skip this boring movie?" He replied "hell yes." Ashley had peeked through Courtney's window. Jack and her were messing around and Ashley watched the whole thing. The next day at school Ashley wasn't there. For the next few days Ashley wasn't there. A week later her mother found her in her closet dead... she commited suicide because she had loved Jack so much. Next to ashley's dead body was a note. A note that read: My dearest Jack, I watched you at the movie and at Courtney's house and I will continue to watch you. I never thought you would do something like this to me. I really loved you jack. I died for you just like Jesus died for us. Always with you, Ashley Please foward this or Ashley will haunt you and try to kill you because she wants everyone to know about Coutney girl meets a boy on a messenger crazy1 86: hey baby!! h0tNsPiCy91: who is this?? crazy1 86: ur secret admirer!! h0tNsPiCy91: oh really... quit lyin! who is this?? crazy1 86: i loved u the first time a stared in your eyes... crazy1 86: i think about u everyday... you are my dream come true. crazy1 86: we met once! i dont think u remember tho. crazy1 86: i cut myself because the pain takes away my feelings of u. crazy1 86: u will see me sometime tonight... h0tNsPiCy91: ..WHO IS THIS!? crazy1 86:dont worry... ill take very good care of you... crazy1 86 had signed off. The girl was so scared she locked all her doors and windows. She made sure her room was secured. She wasn't sure if it was a joke or for real. She didn't know when he was going to come. The girl was so frightened she decided to sleep with her little sister. The girl dozed off quickly. Then she heard a knock on the window. The girl slowly walked to the window. It started knocking louder. The girl looked through the windows and saw nothing... just some of the tree branches. The girl went back to bed with her sister. The bed was wet and had a pretty horrid smell. Maybe her sister wet the bed... the girl checked and found blood everywhere. The girl panicked. She didn't know what to do. She ran and hid in the closet in case the killer was there for her. While looking through the cracks of the closet the girl saw a shadow. It was dark, so she couldn't figure out who it was. She started to get more frightened. The shadow crept closer to the closet. The girl closed her eyes as if it was a dream. Then suddenly he opened the closet door and pulled her out. Her parents found her dead the next morning. She was completely skinned and hanging in her sister's closet. The younger sister was also found skinned and dead. PART 2... Two years after the Smith sisters deaths, the parents had a baby boy. The girl's room became a guest room and the little sister's room where the murder took place became the baby's room. The baby grew up to be a successful kid. One night he was on the computer and received an instant message. h0tNsPiCy91: Hey lil bro!! 2seXay4u: Who the eff is this? h0tNsPiCy91: It's your big sis. 2seXay4u: I never had a sister. I'm an only child. 2seXay4u: This is some kinda joke, huh? h0tNsPiCy91: Mom and dad never told you? h0tNsPiCy91: I died 15 years ago with your other older sister. h0tNsPiCy91: We were murdered in your room which was once my little sister's room. She was killed in bed when I was sleeping. I was killed in the closet and skinned to death. 2seXay4u: Quit lying. I never had a sister. If I did my parents would have told me. Whatever. Your stupid. h0tNsPiCy91: You don't believe me? Well if you wanna look in your closet floor. h0tNsPiCy91: I carved my name and the time and date I was being murdered. Then I carved my little sister's name. h0tNsPiCy91: If you don't believe me little brother check the internet. Google on ''Smith sisters murdered anonymously''. h0tNsPiCy91: I gtg little brother. I love you and mom and dad soo much. I can't believe they kept us a secret from you. They should burn in hell. The boy checked the closet. He saw the carvings. Was it true? He surfed the internet and information was there about the anonymous murder in the house. The next morning the boy went downstairs. It was so quiet. Maybe his parents were sleeping. Hours later the boy found his parents in their closet skinned and hanged. Then he found more carvings on the ground. They said ''I TOLD YOU I WASN'T LYING LITTLE BROTHER, I LOVED MOM AND DAD... BUT THEY KEPT ME A SECRET. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. WELL I'M FREE FROM THIS COLD WORLD, I WON'T HURT YOU LIKE I HURT THEM. I LOVE YOU!" - LISA SMITH This is a death chain letter. If you don't repost this in the next hour, the parents will kill you at night. They will kill you! (yeah right) Repost this if you think that Twilight Sparkle will ever fall in love with me!!! I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish. What stereotype are you? PREP You own an iPod/MP3 player. Total: 4 GOTHIC Black is one of your favorite colors. Total: 5 PUNK You can skateboard Total: 5 GEEK You love the computer. Total: 6 ATHLETIC You watch/watched the Super bowl. You are going/did go to a sports summer camp. Total: 1 ( Now THAT'S why I'm fat) HARDCORE//SCENE You like loud music. Total: 10 A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him. The white man said, "colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "When I was born I was black," "When I grew up I was black," "When I'm sick I'm black," "When I go in the sun I'm black," "When I'm cold I'm black," "When I die I'll be black." "But you sir..." "When you're born you're pink," "When you grow up you're white," "When you're sick, you're green," "When you go in the sun you turn red," "When you're cold you turn blue," "And when you die you turn purple." "And yet you have the nerve to call me colored" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Copy this onto your site and help stop racism! Rule #1: Trust no one who wears a tunic. Rule #2: Don't go to the movies with anyone other than bros. (or sistas) Rule #3: Punch anyone who likes Justin Bieber and/or the Jonas Brothers. Rule #4: When someone tells a joke that isn't funny, laugh really hard, then tell them it wasn't funny at all. Rule #5: Raise kids to love Video Games Cartoons. Rule #6: Whenever getting into a car, always check the backseat first. (Zombies, murderers and even Rebecca Black could be back there.) Rule #7: Always be the first to state the obvious. Rule #8: Keep weapons near at all times. Never know when a zombie apocalypse will happen. Rule #9: Never feed a mogwai after midnight. (lol Gremlins) Rule #10: Try to go SUPER SAIYAN every day. Rule #11: FEAST ON THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT! (Vamps only) Rule #12: Whenever a kitten is present, snuggle with it. EVERYTIME. Rule #13: Whenever surrounded by tough guys, yell "SUPER GAY ORGY!" Rule #14: If taking a test, act like phone is ringing, answer it, say "I'm on my way!", rip off button-up shirt, revealing Superman shirt underneith, and run out of the room. Rule #15: Kick anyone who asks a stupid question in the balls. Rule #16: Hate anyone whose name is Justin. Rule #17: Assume every assassin knows karate. Rule #18: During a prison rule fight between a grilled cheese sandwich and a taco, always root for the grilled cheese. Rule #19: Always watch House when it's on, even if you've seen the episode ten times. (Dr. HOUSE is in da HOUSE!!!! (WAIT, wut?) Rule #21: Use Super Mario impression everywhere. ( It'sa me, MARIOOOO!) Rule #22: Ruin movies for people who haven't seen them. Rule #23: Never have a one night stand with a lion. That's just wrong. Rule #24: Always sing along when the theme song to Fresh Prince of Bel Air plays. Rule #25: When in doubt, C4. ( KABOOMSKI!) Rule #26: When a good story plot enters a dream, write that shit down. Rule #27: Rip out own eyes after reading Yaoi or Yuri on the site. (*reads gay stories* W...T...F?) Rule #28: Always believe the unbelievable. Rule #29: Hunt for Big Foot at every hour of the night. Rule #30: Whenever eating at an Italian restaurant, always act like a 50's loud-mouth Italian douchebag. Rule #31: Whenever feeling like doing something random in a car, yell compliments at people in an angry fashion. Rule #32: Whenever stopped by a traffic-light, stare at the person in the car next to you, with a dirty look on your face. Rule #33: Never answer a woman who asks if she's gained weight. (You will NEVER win!) Rule #34: If it exists, there's porn of it. No exceptions. Rule #35: Quote movies and/or tv shows daily. Rule #36: Never give up, unless it's too hard. Rule #37: Solve mysteries with a bimbo, a lesbian, a douchebag, a stoner and a talking dog. Rule #38: If a stranger pulls up in a car and offers candy, stab him, take the candy and run. Rule #39: Do not time travel on an empty stomach. Rule #40: Never pick a fight with a bear. They fight dirty. Rule #41: When a black man dressed in leather offers you to take a red pill or a blue pill, take the blue pill. The red might be rufilin. Rule #42: The answer to all questions is 42. Rule #43: Don't kick babies. Rule #44: Never give a squirrel a lightsaber. Rule #45: Whenever a teenage boy in green tights comes into your room at night and wants you to go to a far away land with him, kill it with fire! Rule #46: Never trust Japan. They have Godzilla. Rule #47: If girlfriend tells you she bought two tickets to see the next Twilight movie, dump her. Rule #48: Whenever someone is boring you with their story, randomly break out into song. Rule #49: Whenever about to use the bathroom, check shower and/or bathtub first. Rule #50: Eat a bagel. (LIKE A BOSS!) Rule #51: Always laugh at the end of a sad movie. Rule #52: When at first you don't succeed, never try again. Rule #53: When walking at night, act like you're in a first person shooter game. Rule #54: When pulled over by police, sing the theme song to Cops. Rule #55: When being chased by zombies, trip the person next to you. Rule #56: Whenever having a pillow fight with other people, aim to kill. Rule #57: You do not talk about Fight Club. Rule #58: Always assume that Chuck Norris is watching you. Rule #59: When dressing up for Halloween, always get too much into character. Rule #60: Never listen to heavy metal around grandma. She'll think you're a Satanist. Rule #61: Never walk into a bank and yell "Alright, everybody, this will only take a second!". Rule #62: Never watch Jersey Shore. Rule #63: When bored, randomly point and laugh at people for no reason. Rule #64: Know that Science is a lie! (No, the CAKE is a LIE!) (lol SM 64 ref.) Rule #65: Whenever telling a story that isn't that interesting, always add a few swears to the story. People seem more interested when swears are being used. Rule #66: NEVER threaten 4chan. Rule #67: Never be proud of your accomplishments. Because there's always another person who can do them better. (True) Rule #68: FUCK THE POLICE! Rule #69: If you see someone getting mugged, join in. Rule #70: Whenever a white person is talking bad about Obama, yell "YEAH, WHITE POWER!" It will make them feel awkward. (I'm not racist, BTW) Rule #71: Kill all sons a bitches! Rule #72: When someone calls your house when you're babysitting and whispers "Have you checked on the children?", whisper back "I killed them." Rule #73: After having sex for the the first time, go over to friend's house and sing "I Just Had Sex" by The Lonely Island. Rule #74: When pulled over by police, say "Officer, could you please hold my beer?" Rule #75: Kill anyone who disgraces the name of Twilight Sparkle, best pony. Rule #76: Whenever answering a door, always keep a weapon on you. (It could be a thug, psychopath, zombie, or Jehovah's Witnesses.) Rule #77: When brother refuses to give your phone back, compete in Mortal Kombat! Rule #78: Hold Smurf death matches every first Friday of every month. Rule #79: Remember, remember, the 5th of November. Rule #80: Whenever losing an argument, FALCON PUNCH!!! "If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So shut up." "Microsoft Word, I'm pretty sure I know how to spell my name." 1. "Mum: What's wrong with you? Are you...drunk? 2. "Me: No!...yes." "Yeah, I've been to the Dark Side. They lied about the cookies." About Edward Cullen's Hair * "Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline." I Like Trains. "If Superman, Dumbledore and Edward got into a fight, Chuck Norris would win. PERIOD." Q:If Princess Bubblegum and Marceline the Vampire Queen got into a fight, who would win? A:Twilight Sparkle, no shit. "When life hands you Justin Bieber, Miley Cirus and Rebecca Black, throw them back and demand lemons." "When life hands you melons, you're Dyslexic." "Hello ladies. Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me. But if he stopped spinning his top and switched to a loaded die, he could end the movie without a cliffhanger. Look down, back up, where are you? You're in an elevator, what's in your hand, back at me, it's a chess piece with two new scarves. Look again, the scarves are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man can dream it. I'm on the ceiling." 1. "When you die in a dream, you wake up in reality. Ask me what happens when you die in reality." 2. "What happens?" 3. "You die, stupid. That's why it's called reality." "Guys who dress up like bats and spiders clearly have issues." Things I Am NOT allowed to do at Hogwarts: 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office. 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick. 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination. 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms." 8) I am not allowed to spead a rumor that there's a new 4th forrbidden spell called Rickroll. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month." 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand. 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force." 13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work." 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 15) I am not allowed to use a spell if the thought of it makes me giggle for more than 5 seconds. 16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug a Slytherin Day." 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. 21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort. 22) I will not feed first years to Fluffy. 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 24) I will not refer to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full." 25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell. 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM!" every time I use magic. 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colors indicate that they're "covered in bees." 29) I will not say that "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is a challenge. 30) I will not go to class skyclad. 31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was hardcore." 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. 33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion. 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends." 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends." 37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 38) I will not turn Snape into Troll Face. 39) I will not give Luna Lovegood more LSD. 40) I will not trick a school House Elf to strip of its clothing and to make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!" 41) I will not say I weigh the same as a duck. 42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus. 43) I will not lick Trevor. 44) I will not tell first years that Gryffindor Courage comes in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey." 45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 46) I will not tell Snape he takes himself too seriously. 47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 49) I will not say that "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a career choice. 50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God. BOIZ SHOULDN'T CHEAT There was once a girl named Ashley who had a boyfriend named Jack. Jack was the most popular guy in school. The three most popular girls were Courtney, ASHLEY, and Emma. Jack thought of Ashley as OKAY, but he REALLy liked Courtney. Courtney liked jack also. Well of course she did, everyone did! Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies. Courtney tried to steal Jack away everytime she had a chance to. One day, Courtney asked Jack if he wanted to go to the movies. Ashley heard everything...what movie theatre and what time. Ashley approached the movies that night and followed Jack and Courtney. Ashley sat right behind them. she watched them get close to each other and kiss...not only kiss, but practically get it on in the theatre. Courtney told jack "Do you want to come to my place and skip this boring movie?" He replied "hell yes." Ashley had peeked through Courtney's window. Den she saw it...JACK AND COURTNEY WERE DOING IT IN THE MIDDLE OF TEH BED!!! And Emma wuz watching! The next day at school Ashley wasn't there. For the next few days Ashley wasn't there. A week later her mother found her in her closet dead... she commited suicide because she had loved Jack so much. So Jack fucked her dead boady. -4Chan :P Please Pass On: Her hair was up in a pony tail, Her favorite dress tied with a bow. Today was Daddy's Day at school, And she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, That she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, If she... went to school alone. But she was not afraid; She knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates Of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, For her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, She tried to keep her daughter home. But the little girl went to school Eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees A dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, For everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seats One by one the teacher called A student from the class. To introduce their daddy, As seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, Every child turned to stare. Each of them was searching, A man who wasn't there. 'Where's her daddy at?' She heard a boy call out. 'She probably doesn't have one,' Another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, She heard a daddy say, 'Looks like another deadbeat dad, Too busy to waste his day.' The words did not offend her, As she smiled up at her Mom. And looked back at her teacher, Who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, Slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, Came words incredibly unique. 'My Daddy couldn't be here, Because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, Since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, And how much he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories He taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, And taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, And ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone. 'Cause my daddy's al ways with me, Even though we are apart I know because he told me, He'll forever be in my heart' With that, her little hand reached up, And lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, Beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere here in the crowd of dads, Her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, Who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love Of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, Doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, Staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, But its message clear and loud. 'I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, But heaven's just too far. You see he is a Brittish soldier And died just this past year When a roadside bomb hit his convoy And taught Britians to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away.' And then she closed her eyes, And saw him there that day. And to her mothers amazement, She witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, All starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, Who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, They saw him at her side. 'I know you're with me Daddy,' To the silence she called out. And what happened next made believers, Of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, For each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, Was a fragrant long-stemmed rose. And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, By the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, That heaven is never too far. Send this to the people you'll never forget and Remember to send it also to the person that sent It to you. It's a short message to let them know That you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends. Take the time...to live and love. Until eternity..GOD BLESS IMPORTANT FOR INVADER ZIM FANS!!!!!: ATENTION TO The Invader Zim fanbase, if they want any more episodes, they need to listen. We are currently in the process of a massive operation called Operation Head Pigeons. The purpose of this operation; to mass-call Nickelodeon in order to bring back Invader Zim. Nick already stated that they are willing to bring it back if they receive enough demand, as did Jhonen (google "mindspill" for his blog). We shall be the demand. We must work as a team - bring the Invader Zim fanbase together. We all wanted to do this, and now we have a chance to. 5000 people is no small feat, bu that doesn't mean that it is impossible. The Invader Zim fanbase is huge, and, dare I say this, absolutely insane - we've kept the interest in this cartoon at maximum for a decade now. We can't just keep quiet and hope for other people to do our work for us. We MUST work for this if we want anything to happen. Spread he word, get people out there. This is our time to shine. We must link this on fansites, in guestbooks, on DeviantArt groups and imageboards. The 5000 people ARE out there, we just need to reach them. If you wish to help, if you wish to bring back he one show we've been writing about, agonizing over pairings, storylines, character motivations for God knows how long, then Google "Operation Head Pigeons facebook". Join. Bring back the show. We need your help. Be the demand. Bring it back. GOTHS: Don't always wear black Don't worship Satan Are NOT evil Do not want to kill people Do not HATE EVERYBODY Are not always depressed Can be happy too Are usually nice people Are normal, just like you COPY INTO THIS YOUR PROFILE, BITCH!!!!!! FOR SALE: ONE HEART HORRIBLE CONDITION WILL TAKE ANYTHING FOR IT PLEASE. JUST CUT IT OUT OF MY CHEST AND END THIS SUFFERING Don't call me {emo} or i'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain,then i'll die, and it will be all your fault Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about CREATING yourself You're a song I try to sing, A note that I can't hit Everything I gave you has died, been lost, and .t.h.r.o.w.n. away, just like me JUDGE ME And I'll prove you wrong TELL ME WHAT TO DO And I'll tell you off SAY I'M NOT WORTH IT? And watch where I'll end up CALL ME A BITCH? And I'll show you one FUCK ME OVER? And I'll do it to you twice as bad CALL ME CRAZY? But you really have no idea For a single moment I want to feel like the Universe isn't about to crush me, and my heart isn't about to explode. I would kiss you and tell you I Love You and ask you please not to go. I want to be Loved, But can someone please Love me back this time? Whatever. Talking to you feels like having a period. EMOTIONAL WITHOUT ALL THE EMO. It's called being human. Life is like an hourglass. Eventually, everything hits the bottom. and all you have to do is wait it out until someone comes along and turns it around. I love walking in the rain because no one can tell that I'm crying. REMEMBER KIDS! It's "down the road" not "across the street"! MAKE IT COUNT! What do you do when the one who broke your heart is the only one who can fix it? Live life passionately, Love unconditionally, Hope for the best, Laugh your heart out, Cry when you need to, Learn from the past, and remember what is meant to be will find it's way. What is a friend? a friend is someone who you think your life would be different if they didn't exist. a friend is someone who NEVER leaves you out,you are ALWAYS included when you are with them. a friend is there for you, no matter what. Does this describe your friend? If you truly love something, you should set it free. And if it doesn't come back then...they were never yours to start... If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was... To Love is nothing... To be Loved is something... To Love and be Loved is everything... Your lies consume me With every breath I'm burning Oh how I believed the T R U T H was in Y O U R eyes It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I just wish I could say it to your face. I've waited forever for this. Now I mean it everytime "I Love You" Friends are like balloons. If you let them go, you can't get them back. So I'm gonna keep you close to my heart so I won't ever lose you. LIFE It's all about taking chances, about doing something everyone said you couldn't do, it's about acting goofy, it's about not caring what other people think, it's about learning to love what you are DON'T QUIT! One of the most difficult qualities you must develop as a writer is the discipline to keep going, even if what you're writing seems terrible. Some of my best poems almost didn't get written because the first few lines(or the whole first draft!) seemed stupid or boring-Ronald Wallace Thinking about you in my Darkness Life is pain When you laugh, I will laugh. When you cry, I will cry. When you jump out a window, I will Laugh!XD I may be short, but you're ugly. I can grow.(this is just a quote...I'm actually kinda tall) Your stupidity causes me pain WARNING!Psychotic short blonde creature on the loose! Fanfiction: Making people go WTF, since 1998 Twinkle, twinkle, little whore, you're at school not Jersey Shore ''When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.'' - Jimi Hendrix Before death there is only fear...and at the end of fear...Oblivion You would think that you would have something better to do then to point out duplicates and reposts... Attempting to give a damn... Unable to give a damn. Stopping. Process failed. Damn not given. This is NOT Sparta! This is just MADNESS! Two things are infinite: the Universe and Human Stupidity, and I'm not too sure about the Universe The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules-Joker(Heath Ledger's) I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you...stranger-Joker(Heath Ledger's) Why so Serious? Let's put a smile on that face!-Joker(Heath Ledger's) If you're good at something, never do it for free-Joker(Heath Ledger's) Q: Have you ever danced with the Devil by the pale moonlight? A: Yeah. He told me you're gay. They tell me I don't have a sense of humor...I have one, It's just fucked up! Awesome is a cliche and an epic is a long poem, so what do we say when something is really really cool? I think we should just shut up and admire it. Even if you're dead there is no sense into just giving up on living. if you get killed I wont be at your funeral I'll be in jail for killing the one who killed you... .._..., ,.../_==o;;;;;;;;_.:/...// (..) ), --".//_// I'm an insane goth with mental issues...DEAL WITH IT!!! I make my seriousness sound funny. I'm the goddamn Batman! God doesn't hate gays, he's just angry that they found a loophole in the system. If I could go back in time, I would have stopped all of that from happening. Invader's blood marches through my veins... Like giant RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS! The pants command me! Do not ignore my VEINS! So I'm a little insane. What's your point? Nobody dies a virgin, cause in the end...Life fucks us all No Smile is more beautiful than the one that struggles through the tears Pain doesn't Hurt when it's all you've ever Felt Things I Am NOT allowed to do at Hogwarts: 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office. 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick. 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination. 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms." 8) I am not allowed to spead a rumor that there's a new 4th forrbidden spell called Rickroll. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month." 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand. 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force." 13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work." 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 15) I am not allowed to use a spell if the thought of it makes me giggle for more than 5 seconds. 16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug a Slytherin Day." 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. 21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort. 22) I will not feed first years to Fluffy. 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 24) I will not refer to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full." 25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell. 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM!" every time I use magic. 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colors indicate that they're "covered in bees." 29) I will not say that "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is a challenge. 30) I will not go to class skyclad. 31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was hardcore." 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. 33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion. 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends." 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends." 37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 38) I will not turn Snape into Troll Face. 39) I will not give Luna Lovegood more LSD. 40) I will not trick a school House Elf to strip of its clothing and to make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!" 41) I will not say I weigh the same as a duck. 42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus. 43) I will not lick Trevor. 44) I will not tell first years that Gryffindor Courage comes in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey." 45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 46) I will not tell Snape he takes himself too seriously. 47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 49) I will not say that "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is a career choice. 50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God. What is Heartbreak? Heartbreak is lying on the bathroom floor, trying your damn hardest to breathe while at the same time wondering why it all went wrong and how you're gonna get up and pretend like everything is all right, and what the Hell are you gonna do about that hole in your chest. 101 things to do in Walmart. 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!" 6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department. 7. Try on bras over top of your clothes. 8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms. 9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Party Rock Anthem". 10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 7 in Housewares," and see what happens. 11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off and turn up all the volumes to the max. 12. Play with the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this crud, anyway?" 15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department. 16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. 17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. 19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!" 20. Put M&M's on layaway. 21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!" 26. TP as much of the store as possible. 27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hell" upside down. 29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!" 31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. (I only pretended! It still counts though!) 32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 33. Take bets on the battle described above. 34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!) 35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. 36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room. 37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. 41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them. 42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 43. Two words: "Marco Polo." 44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc. 45. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics. 46. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels. 47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them 48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions. 49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. 52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie." 53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles. 54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word. 55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. 56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)." 59. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles. 62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive." 68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it. 70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign. 71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag 72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming" 73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes 74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices 75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane 76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle) 77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!" 78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight 79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over. 80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap. 81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section 82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls. 83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner. 84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (dont try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens. 85. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it. 86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!" 87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund. 88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught 89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms. (That's just sick, so I snuck my friends dog in Walmart, and he did it! So, that counts!) 90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me." 91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name. 92. Rearrange items as you see fit. 93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere. 94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs. 95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex). 96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recomended). 97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items. 98. Follow someone until they notice. 99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7 Up commercial. 100. Throw Skittles at people and scream "TASTE THE RAINBOW!" 101. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.' PART 2... Two years after the Smith sisters deaths, the parents had a baby boy. The girl's room became a guest room and the little sister's room where the murder took place became the baby's room. The baby grew up to be a successful kid. One night he was on the computer and received an instant message. h0tNsPiCy91: Hey lil bro!! 2seXay4u: Who the eff is this? h0tNsPiCy91: It's your big sis. 2seXay4u: I never had a sister. I'm an only child. 2seXay4u: This is some kinda joke, huh? h0tNsPiCy91: Mom and dad never told you? h0tNsPiCy91: I died 15 years ago with your other older sister. h0tNsPiCy91: We were murdered in your room which was once my little sister's room. She was killed in bed when I was sleeping. I was killed in the closet and skinned to death. 2seXay4u: Quit lying. I never had a sister. If I did my parents would have told me. Whatever. Your stupid. h0tNsPiCy91: You don't believe me? Well if you wanna look in your closet floor. h0tNsPiCy91: I carved my name and the time and date I was being murdered. Then I carved my little sister's name. h0tNsPiCy91: If you don't believe me little brother check the internet. Google on ''Smith sisters murdered anonymously''. h0tNsPiCy91: I gtg little brother. I love you and mom and dad soo much. I can't believe they kept us a secret from you. They should burn in hell. The boy checked the closet. He saw the carvings. Was it true? He surfed the internet and information was there about the anonymous murder in the house. The next morning the boy went downstairs. It was so quiet. Maybe his parents were sleeping. Hours later the boy found his parents in their closet skinned and hanged. Then he found more carvings on the ground. They said ''I TOLD YOU I WASN'T LYING LITTLE BROTHER, I LOVED MOM AND DAD... BUT THEY KEPT ME A SECRET. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. WELL I'M FREE FROM THIS COLD WORLD, I WON'T HURT YOU LIKE I HURT THEM. I LOVE YOU!" - LISA SMITH This is a death chain letter. If you don't repost this in the next hour, the parents will kill you at night. They will kill you! (yeah right) Repost this if you think that Twilight Sparkle will ever fall in love with me!!! |
