My name is a month. I have dark brown hair, and blue/green/brown/grey eyes. I like pickles but am not in love with them. I am addicted to anime/manga/and yaoi. I pair up random gay couples who I know are in fact not gay. I have a dirty mind and a potty mouth. I have what some might say is a sick sense of humor. I have an imaginary brain-friend I named Brownstone, pronounced 'Brown-Stun'. He is my whore.

Warnings About Me, Luxor, Destroyer of Worlds and Childhoods*

1. As I said, I have a dirty mind and most all of my stories with contain or make references to abuse/addiction/alcohal/drugs/SMEX

2. Any grammarical errors/mispelled words are not my fault. They're yours. I can't concentrate with you breathing down my neck all the time. Take your damn apple juice and sit in the corner and let me work.

3. As I've stated, all my work will be posted under M, unless it's fluffy to the extreme. I will put warnings in ever description, so I swear to all that is holy if you don't like it and report me I will rain fire and brimstone onto your little tattletail head. If you don't like, don't read, it's really freaking simple.

4. I have a dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty room. See, what did you think I was going to say? Looks like I'm not the only one with a dirty room.

5. As you may have noticed, I curse, A LOT. Deal with it or leave. Report me and I will abuse my right to bitch on the internet.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits:Don’t Trust Me--3OH!3

Waking Up:Mordred’s Lullaby--Heather Dale

First Day At School:Vive la Vide--Coldplay

Falling In Love:Fashionista--Jimmy James (...)

Fight Song:Self-Fulfilling Prophecy--Maria Mena (wtf?)

Breaking Up:Whatever it Takes--Lifehouse

Prom night:The Middle--Jimmy Eat World (fuck yes)

Life:All the Small Things--Blink 182 (like a bows)

Mental Breakdown:Welcome to the World--Voltaire (oh god, a song about dumb people and sex :X)

Driving:Lullaby--The Cure (okay, wtf?)

Flashback:Alright--Darius Rucker (like a bows/hopefully a good memory or this is going to be a confusing flashback)

Getting back together:Only--Nine Inch Nails (‘cause I’m just that badass)

Wedding:Rebirthing--Skillet (okay, seriously? This shit… this shit better be a badass kick-ass somebody-gets-hurt wedding)

Birth of Child:One Thing; Finger Eleven (oh god, the adorableness. This baby full of love, bitches)

Final Battle:Mykonos--Fleet Fox (not sure if the song/who this is by is correct, but really weird song for the final boss. cool)

Funeral Song:Party Rock Anthem--LMAO (‘cause I’m just that fucking awesome. Who else is going to have such an awesome ass funeral? SHAKE THAT! *I can‘t, I’m dead* oh, yeah…)

Final Credits:I Don’t Care--Fall Out Boy (yeah, I took you on a rollercoaster and I don’t even give a shit)

The shinbone: A device used for finding furniture in a dark room.

Sometimes I wonder "Why is that Frisbee getting bigger?" then it hits me.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the type of person who walks into a door and apologizes.

R.I.P.- Albus Dumbledore, Sirius Black, Hedwig, Mad-Eye-Moody, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Dobby, Colin Creevey, Fred Weasly, Cedric Diggory, and everyone else who had to die to make the Harry Potter series as great as it is.

How You Know You’re Addicted to Yaoi/Slash

1. You start mentally pairing up random guys on the street.

2. You wish you had gay friends just so you could perve on them kissing their boyfriends.

3. You don’t remember the last time you read a heterosexual fanfiction.

4. You have developed a sexual fetish for handcuffs, leather and BDSM.

5. If you are a heterosexual girl, you keep trying to seme your boyfriend, despite the fact that you don’t have the necessary parts.

6. You suddenly become interested in gay rights, thinking this will increase your opportunities for voyeristic activities.

7. You try to get your friends into it, simply so you can talk to them about it without them getting that bored look on their face.

8. You keep lying about the number of hours you spend each day on the computer reading slash fanfiction, watching yaoi anime etc.

9. The most exiting moment of your life so far was when you discovered hentai manga.

10. You celebrate turning 18 not because you can watch R movies, but because you’re old enough to watch movies with explicit gay sex scenes.

11. It’s the only aphrodesiac you need.

12. When your boyfriend tells you he’s gay and has been dating another man, you immediately ask if you can join in.

13. Your gay son wishes he had a normal, homophobic mother who didn’t ask him questions about his latest sexual exploits.

Whoever said "nothing is impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

You know it’s going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

Music is love in search of words.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand Edward...or Carlisle...or James...

Having the love of your life say "we can still be friends," is like your dog dying, and your mom saying you can keep it.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense

Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the doorbell and run away; he hates that.

Therapist = The/rapist . . . Scary thought.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor"--a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck, my friends, for I may not return alive.

Slinky Escalator = Endless Fun!

"Nostalgic for 80s fantasy films. When glitter was cheap, monsters were muppets, and Evil was smexy."

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. I bet this kind of thing does not happen to heroin addicts. I bet that when serious heroin addicts go to purchase their heroin, they do not tolerate waiting in line while some dilettante in front of them orders a hazelnut smack-a-cino with cinnamon sprinkles.

''I do not like suicidal people. This is not because it is a sin or it is wrong. Let me reiterate. I do not like suicidal people who talk about committing suicide all the time as an ultimatum, or people without sufficient reason to commit suicide. If you didn't get that pretty pink car for your Sweet 16, suck it up. And if you are going to commit suicide, shut up and do it. I don't need to hear about it for seven years because you are just vying for attention and are too punk ass to do it.'' -- Don't whether to hug this person or punch in throat... mayhaps both..

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

99% of teens would cry if they saw Justin Bieber on top of a skyscraper about to jump. If you are that 1% sitting there with popcorn and 3D glasses screaming "DO A BACKFLIP" paste this onto your profile

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip and slide.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Those who live by the sword… get shot by those who don’t.

I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I'd tell you to go to hell but i work there and I really don't want to see you every day.

I died, but Heaven wouldn't let me in and Hell was afraid I take over. So here I am! Aren't you glad?

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cakes and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left?

Me: 10

Teacher: Okay, well what if somebody forcibly takes 2 of the cakes, how many would you have left then?

Me: 10 and a dead body.

"If vodka was water

And I was a duck,

I'd swim to the bottom

And never come up.

But vodkas not water

and I'm not a duck,

So pass me a shot

And shut the fuck up."

-Some Awesome Unknown Person-

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.