"When you can dodge bullets, outfly missiles, and swim across the surface of the sun it's only a matter of time before you start thinking you've better things to do than save the world for the two hundredth time."

Carrie Harper - Nightmare

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple,windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Ninja of the Flames, Spuffy on Hiatus, ilovekyosohma, Chishio Naito, Kish's Kittie, Property of Kish, xMew Ichigox, MikaTheCatHanyou, BubblesBoo THfangirl01, Dragon(just a short name), PokeFreak 38,geny35, Pokemaster101, Akozu Heiwa, Gemstone Gal, Leodasdragon, The Perfect Replica, ineesias, Blood Moon Risen, CathieeTerriea

Wally and Artemis stood on a balcony alone. Artemis began asking because she felt she had to know

"Wally, do I ever cross your mind?"

"No."

"Do you like me?"

"No."

"Do you want me?"

"No."

"Would you cry if I left?"

"No."

"Would you live for me?"

"No."

"Would you do anything for me?"

"No."

"Choose -- Me or your life."

"My life."

Artemis, feeling like she wants to cry, begins to run off when suddenly Wally's hand grabbed her wrist. She turns to tell him to let go but then he smirked and spoke

"The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind."

Artemis' eyes widened at this statement and as Wally wraps his arms around her and continues speaking

"The reason why I don't like you is because I love you."

"The reason why I don't want you is because I need you."

"The reason why I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left."

"The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you."

"The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you."

"The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life."

Artemis starts to grin as she returns the embrace crying from happiness.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the door bell and run. He hates it.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging!

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

I love Deadlines! I like the whoosh noise they make as they go by.

Curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought it back.

In a dog-eat-dog world the best thing to do is become a cat.

If the good die young then the bad die old; thus leaving us with only politicians left.

Goldfish have the memory span of 3 seconds, sometimes i have to wonder if i'm a goldfish.

Rules are like paper clips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family. So it's one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu...I think it's Collin.

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this: What Makes 100? What does it mean to give MORE than 100? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103? What makes up 100 in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8118423151811 = 98

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11141523125475 = 96 But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 120209202145 = 100

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 2211212198920 = 103

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1191911919199147 = 118

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

You Say:

-Take care! -LOL (Laugh Out Loud). -I love a man. -It’s a bird! -OMG (Oh My Gosh). -Cool. -Awesome. -Geeks. -Obsessed. -Weird.

We Say:

-Stay Whelmed! -LLR (Laugh Like Robin) or COL (cackle out loud) -I love a clone. -It’s Robin! -OMC (Oh My Cheshire) -Crash -Asterous -Wallys -Loving -Young Justicers - Hello Megan!

COPY AND PASTE THIS!!!!!!!!!!! (originally from Danni-Phantom13.)

Name your top 10 fav characters of all time!

Okay then, in not particular order:

1. Dick Greyson - Robin

2. Megan Morse - Miss M

3. Artemis Crook - Artemis

4. Wally West - KF

5. Conner Kent - Superboy

6. Zatanna Zatara - Zee

7. Jade Crook - Cheshire

8. Raquel Ervin - Rocket

9. Roy Harper - Red Arrow

10. Kaldur'ahm - Kaldur

What would you do if Number 1 [Robin] woke you up in the middle of the night?

Number 3 [Artemis] walked into the bathroom while you were showering?

C - GET OUR NOW!!! FIND YOUR OWN SHOWER!!!

A - Wally is in my shower

C - GO SHOWER WITH HIM!!

Number 4 [KF] announced he/she is going to marry Number 9 [Red Arrow] tomorrow?

WTF?? Are you drunk? Did you eat all the cookies again??? GO SEE ARTEMIS NOW!

Number 5 [Conner Kent] cooked you dinner?

Not possible... He got help from Miss M.

Number 6 [Zee] was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?

Wake her up

C - Your creeping me out. Why are you so tired?

Z - ...N...No reason

C - smirks I'm going to kill Robin

Number 7 [Cheshire] suddenly confessed to be part of your family?

DOES THAT MEAN ARTEMIS IS MY SISTER TOOO!!!!!!!!

Number 8 [Rocket] got into the hospital somehow?

C - You Okay???

R - Yeah...

C - Okay, I'm calling Kaldur now... He'll be here before you can say dolfin

R - Huh! Dolf

Kaldur - Greetings Cathiee, Raquel

C - Told ya.

Number 9 [Red Arrow] made fun of your friends?

He's probably been pounded by superboy, put into a tutu by KF and Robin and sent out to see by Miss M.

Number 10 [Kaldur] ignored you all the time?

What did I do now?

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 [Robin] do?

Knock them out, try them up and send them to prison. Then take me home :D

You're on a vacation with 2 [Miss M] and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do?

Levitates me to the nearest hospital and puts Hello Megan on for us to watch.

It's your birthday. What does 3 [Artemis] get you?

Bow and arrow, and a I HATE WALLY BADGE i won't wear

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 [KF] do?

Gets me out and runs to get Kaldur

You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarrassed. What will 5 [Superboy] do?

Watch static.

You're about to marry number 10 [Kaldur]. What's 1's [Robin] reaction?

R - No

C - THANK YOU SOMEONE AGREES WITH ME

R - *getting angry* Who did this???

K - Wallice.

R - *storms off into cave*

C - *Calls Artemis* Robin gonna kill Wally.. GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW!

You got dumped by someone. How will 7 [Cheshire] cheer you up?

Laugh and goes to kill this person. Then Laughs at me again.

You compete in a tournament. How does 9 [Red Arrow] support you?

RA - Good Luck, you'll need it

C - Yep

RA - I'm going to the tower

C - Yep

You can't stop laughing. What will 10 [Kaldur] do?

Look at me strangely and then get me a glass of water.

Number 1 [Robin/] is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. How the heck do you know I dream of Robin?

Number 2 [Miss M] tells you about his/her deeply hidden love for number 9 [Red Arrow].

C - WHERE ARE THE OREOS????

MM - Huh?

C - You dating CONNER NOT ROY!! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!

You're dating 3 [Artemis] and he/she introduces you to his/her parents. Would you get along?

I refuse to ever be dating Artemis. SPITFIRE FOR LIFE!

Will number 5 [Superboy] and 6 [Zee] ever kiss?

No. Never. Not even in a parallel universe. I WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN!

Number 6 [Zee] appears to be a player, breaking many hearts. What do you do?

Go up to Robin to give him a hug.

You had a haircut and 7 [Cheshire] can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?

Oh shit. It looks bad doesn't it. If not, she's going to kill me. ARTEMIS!! CONTROL YOUR SISTER!

Number 8 [Rocket] thinks he/she’ll never get a girl/boyfriend. What will you tell him/her?

Pushes Raquel* Go kiss Kaldur.

Number 9 [Red Arrow] is too shy to face you and confesses their love by sending an email. Now what?

Reply: Robin, quit hacking your team's emails!!!

You spot 10 [Kaldur] kissing 1 [Robin]. How do you react?

Eww. Gross. Take a picture and use it as black mail, after saving it to every USB, Hard drive and file I have.

Could 1 [Robin] and 6 [Zee] be soul mates?

Yes... But he's mine though... D:

Would 2 [Miss M] trust 5 [Superboy]?

The two of them are dating...

Number 4 [KF] is bored and pokes 10 [Kaldur]. What happens after that?

K - Moves away

C - POKE ME INSTEAD!!!

5 [Superboy] and 1 [Robin] are forced to go back to school together. What study will they pick?

The Study of Butt-Kicking

If 6 [Zee] and 3 [Artemis]cooked dinner what would they make?

Roast Beef and Potatos

7 [Cheshire] and 9 [Red Arrow] apply for a job. What job?

Viglantie

8 [Rocket] gives 5 [Superboy] a haircut. Is that okay?

No... Superboy gets no haircut!

9 [Red Arrow] sketches what 6's [Zee] perfect girl/boyfriend should look like; will 6 be happy?

Piff, yes and no. ROBIN IS MINE!!!

10 [Kaldur] and 9 [Red Arrow] are blushing while they talk. What is their conversation about?

A convosation where two guys are blushing... No... Just no.

1 [Robin] accidentally kicked 10 [Kaldur]?

Robin does not accidentally kick someone. The two of them were sparring.

2 [Miss M] sent a message to his/her Bf/Gf but 9 [Red Arrow] got it. What would happen?

Reply: I have blackmail on you!!!

Sincerely Red Arrow.

5 [Conner] and 6 [Zee] did a workout together?

They were training... NOTHING GOING ON!!

6 [Zee] noticed he/she wasn't invited to your birthday?

C - But I gave an invite to you...

Robin - One down eight to go...

7 [Cheshire] won the lottery?

HA!!! I call hacks!!!

8 [Raquel] had quite a big secret?

Had - Past tense. We all know you like Kaldur honey!

9 [Red Arrow] became a singer?

No. That'll be just too weird.

10 [Kaldur] got a daughter?

Ladies and Gentlemen. Kaldur and Raquel had a baby.

What would 1 [Robin] think of 2 [Miss M]?

She's a team mate

How would 3 [Artemis] greet 4 [KF]?

A - Sup Baywatch!

K - *Growls*

What would 4 [KF] envy about 5 [Superboy]?

Don't, and I MEAN DON'T get on his bad side

What dream would 5 [Superboy] have about 6 [Zee]?

Wait! Superboy dreams????

What do 6 [Zee] and 7 [Cheshire] have in common?

There both girls that have black hair. duh

What would make 7 [Cheshire] angry at 8 [Rocket]?

Well someone stopped an assassination.

Where would 8 [Rocket] meet 9 [Red Arrow]?

In the cave.

What would 9 [Red Arrow] never dare to tell 10 [Kaldur]?

I like a team mate's sister.

What would make 10 [Kaldur] scared of 1 [Robin]?

Blackmail... Always Blackmail.

How do you feel right now?

Whelmed, Turbed and Traught.

Why I love each character in Young Justice:

Miss Martian: I MEAN COME ON SHES A FUDGEING MARTIAN! She can be sweet kind and pretty and perfect and then in battle she is a totally Bad ass she could kick your but in 5 seconds flay (Except if your on fire then she would just throw stuff at you) her and superboy are perfect for each other those two are SUPERMARTIAN! She protects the team like its her actually her family and I find it cute how she was scared to show the team who she was really and then they all except her I mean come on that's cute! Not to mention how hard she tries to fit in by watching sitcoms, and cooking all the time. Her kindness really makes her perfect for the team.

Artemis: OMG SHE IS QUEEN OF SASSYNESS! She saved Wally's life and she is harsh to Robin and Kid flash but she protects everyone and she would give her life for the team, its just like awh! She saved all there lifes and then when she gets killed in the simulation, Wally is just like ARTEMIS! I like how when she joined she was so insecure about herself but then they all excepted her for who she is and she was scared to find out there opinions, especially Wally's. I love how even though she was being pressured into being a bad guy, she fought against her own family to go and save the world from the Light! Talk about hardcore and emotionally stable!

Zatanna : I WANNA BE LIKE HER! She rocks! She is pretty awesome and I'm just saying I'm jealous of her. She can speak backwards and use Magic the whole team like her no one thought she was the mole or anything. And also she KISSES ROBIN (*Le Dies*) She always has cool outfits and I thought her story was sad of how she lost her dad while the team was there. She flirts and she has spent to much time with Artemis because she gets SAZZY! Not to mention how strong she is! She doesn't have a mum, and then her dad puts on the helmet and he's gone. She has no one, but instead of locking herself away, she goes and kicks bad guys ass and makes the hottest guy around fall in love with her.

Rocket: SHE IS A FREAKIN GENIUS! She created her belt to have powers. She has awesome hair (Like my sister) I like her outfit and she kisses Kaldur on the cheek I would pay millions to kiss his cheek. She joined the league quicker than any of the others did (Besides Red arrow) She has a awesome voice I mean come on that Is pretty cool. Not to mention how many earrings she has in when she's out kicking bad guy ass! I mean, no other hero has earrings, but Rocket? She has five on each ear! She's one tough chick, but yet, she is one of the kindest people around!

Superboy: BOY OF STEAL YOU CAN SWEEP ME OF MY FEET ANYDAY! He is just gorgeous. Him and Kaldur should be Best friends they would get on so well. He is practically the second strongest person on earth after Superman. I like how he shows no emotion towards people but with Megan he can be a total sweetheart. He protects his team and i'm sure if someone threatened them he would be there in mere seconds to destroy them. he also gets all the big fights (and the ugly ones) he is smart and I bet when no one is looking and there doing there own things he would do a small smile like to say this is my new family.

Aqualad: Sweetest Guy EVER! I know some losers out there don't like him and if you said that to me I would properly find you and destroy you. He is so cute he is trustworthy, smart, sweet, hot (Even with gills and webbed hands and feet) and he respects everyone and everything. He nearly stepped down being leader because his team were being stubborn. I mean he did it to protect his team and he nearly stepped down because of that. He treats everyone equally (Except the bad guys) and if bad guys said tell us information about your team and the justice league or we will kill you. He would go for death because he wouldn't betray his team. He is just amazing

Red arrow: IF I SAW HIM I WOULD GO INTO A COMA! He is awesome he dates a bad guy and has a child with them. He is hot, smart (Not when he says no to the team) epic (Even as a clone he is amazing) and did I mention Hot. he practically never misses and he did better on his own. he saved a women from the league of shadows I mean you can't say that every day and when he was in trouble he called his best friend (Kaldur) to help him. He is also like Kid flash's and Robin's brother he protects them and he cares for them so he is just awesome. Even when he's acting like a twat, he's still looking after everyone.

Kid Flash: HE MAKES MY HEART GO FASTER! Hes funny, smart with science, ginger and beautiful. I love his eyes they are like emeralds and I love his hair and how he and Robin argue one minute then be Best friends the the next. I love his little comments like when they were in pods and he said to superboy "Are you here to help us or fry us?" He is the type of person you would want as a best friend someone, when you cry they make you smile. I love how big his heart is. Saving a little girl, on his birthday. Or when you are in love with him you look into his crystal green eyes and then he would pick you up and kiss you. I like how he flirts with Megan and avoids Artemis and he obviously knows that's his Spitfire. oh and I just want to say I AM THE CAPTIAN OF THE SPITFIRE SHIP!!!!

Robin: THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! I could go on all day about Robin I really could I mean his baby blue eyes make your heart flutter or how his raven hair gets in front of his eyes or his cackle that could make shivers go down peoples backs but it makes me smile. I love his fighting techniques and how he would do anything for the people he loves. I love the new words he made up and how he has the saddest story of them all but he keeps on smiling. He is the centre of life to the people around him and he makes people smile and when he's sad he can't make himself smile. All these little things make me love Robin and If he was real I would really want to get to know him and for him to love me the way i love him now! Did i mention i want to lick his abs? Cause i do! I love you Richard "Dick" Grayson!

Young justice: They're just this family that saves others and themselves. They have each others backs. They're kickass and so much fun. Who wouldn't love these people?

I, Robin's Girlfriend, Cathiee Terriea Promise,

To remember Robin every time I see a guy with awesome shades, somebody who's hacking something or when I go at the circus.

To remember Megan every time I eat cookies or when I watch some lame sitcom.

To remember Wally every time I see a ginger and every time a guy uses some lame pick-up lines on me and every time I eat too much and someone eats my food.

To remember Kaldur every time I go to the beach, every time a friend is in charge.

To remember Superboy every time I see somebody destroying his T-shirt.

To remember Artemis every time I annoy a ginger, every time I act like a spitfire, or when I watch a movie about a ninja girl who's ninja dad ordered her to kill her ninja boyfriend 'cause he was from a rival ninja clan.

To remember Zatanna every time I hear something spoken backwards.

To remember Roy every time somebody doesn't trust me.

To remember Rocket every time I do science.

To remember Red Tornado every time human customs elude me.

Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts:

1) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss

2) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

3) I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him they're real animals

4) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches

5) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!"

6) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

7) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"

8) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

9) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"

10) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

11) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice.

12) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

13) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. SANTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

14) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.

15) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.

16) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.

17) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

18) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape's private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.

19) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

20)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

21) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

22) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

23) The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.

24.) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".

25) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

26) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

27) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

28) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “

29) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

30) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

40.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.

41) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.

42) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

43) I may not have a private army.

44) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.

45) Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.

46) I am not the wicked witch of the west.

47) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

48) I will not melt if water is poured over me.

49) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.

50) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.

51) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.

52) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.

53) I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them.

54) - Especially not all of them at once.

55) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."

56) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."

57) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.

58) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.

59) When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.

60) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

61) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.

62) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of Muggle firearms.

63) Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.

64) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

65) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.

66) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

67) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.

68) I will not create a betting pool that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.

69) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.

70) Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing Glimmer McSparkles.

71) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".

72) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.

73) However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.

74) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.

75) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.

76) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.

77) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.

78) I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.

79) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All The Good Looking Ones Die Young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.

80) I will not yell "Hey look! It’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade

81) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad, bad nightmare about Harry

82) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall

83) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”

84) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.

85) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmancy exams.

86) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation.

87) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

88) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit.

89) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room.

90) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

91) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

92) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks.

93) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.

94) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a Muggle car.

95) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine.

96) When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”.

97) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become.

98) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be.

99) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S.

100) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

101) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

102) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

103) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.

104) Do not confuse Aragorn, Eragon and Aragog. Ever.

105) I may not introduce Nagini to Indiana Jones.

106) Challenging Ron to a slug-eating contest is just mean.

107) Under no circumstances am I allowed to refer to Voldemort as "Baldy".

108) Even if he is.

109) I am not allowed to tell the first years to have a staring contest with the Basilisk.

110) I am prohibited from sprinkling glitter on Draco Malfoy, dying his hair, and call him Edward.

111) I am not allowed sell Mrs. O'Leary to Hagrid.

112) I will not give Professor Lupin a collar as a Christmas or birthday present.

113) Saying "I think I 'taw a puddytat!" every time I see Professor McGonagall is most certainly NOT allowed.

114) Offering Voldemort a colonial-era powdered wig (complete with ponytail) will not amuse him and I am not allowed to do so, even if he needs a new hair do.

115) I am not allowed to paint the school neon pink as the only person it will amuse is Professor Umbridge.

116) I must not introduce Voldemort to a psychiatrist as it is likely to result in him having a temper tantrum.

117) I am not allowed to introduce the Cullens to Professor Lupin.

118) I am not allowed to tease Professor Lupin about his 'time of the month'.

119) I shall not play match-maker for Voldemort on Valentine's Day because it will only make him cry when no one will go out with him because of his lack of hair.

120) I am not allowed to be a match-maker for Shelob and Aragog either.

121) I will not arrange a battle to the death between nine Hungarian Horntails and the Nazgul.

122) I will not scream, "HIS NAME IS EDWARD!" any time I hear the words Cedric Diggory.

123) I will not ask the centaurs if they know where Chiron is because I have found a demigod.

124) I will not shout at dinner times that Darth Sideous is Voldemort's uncle, even if they do look alike.

125) I shall not try to persuade everyone that Percy Weasley's true name is Percy Jackson and he slays monsters with a pen for a living.

126) I will not sing 'I'm a Survivour' after the Battle of Hogwarts.

127) No matter how fun it looks, I will not stand on a table and do the Macarena at the Yule Ball.

128) Professor Lupin is not the magical equivlant of Wolverine and I am not allowed to address him as such.

129) Even if I'm bored, I am not allowed to ask Snape what is the mysterious ticking noise.

130) I will not dye Harry's hair pink or give him brown contacts, just because I am sick of black-haired, green-eyed heroes.

131) Whether they owe me money or not, I am not allowed to sneak into Fred and George's dorm at the dead of night to die their hair blond, spike it unreasonably high, then call them John and Edward in the morning.

132) I will not send Voldemort white robes for Christmas and claim he changed his name to, "Voldy the White."

133) And when he wears them, I am not allowed to run around Hogsmeade screaming, "AHHH! It's an albino dementor!"

134) It is not tasteful to send Professor McGonagall a scratching post for Christmas.

135) Bringing a magic eight ball to Divination class will only get Professor Trelawney annoyed at your, "Lack of Inner Eye."

136) To which I am not allowed to reply.

137) I will not refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.

138) Nor am I allowed to have lightsaber fights with my wand and make whoosing noises.

139) "Because they both need to wash their hair," is not proof Professor Snape and Aragorn are related.

140) There is also no proof that Gimli and Flitwick are related and I am stop asking Flitwick if he's been swimming with any hairy women lately.

141) Singing 'Hungry Like The Wolf' in Professor Lupin's class is not a way to get extra credit.

142) I am not allowed to write on the wall in the Gryffindor Common Room, "I know where you live" or "I stole all your underwear!"

143) I am not allowed to replace the Bludgers with peas, tomatoes, plums or anything that is not a Bludger.

144) Portable swamps are not funny.

145) And I will not set off the above in Snape's sleeping quarters.

146) Or in the Slytherin's bathrooms.

147) In fact, I am not allowed to even buy portable swamps.

148) Harry Potter is not a Son of Poseidon and saying this everytime I see him will only result in him filing a restraining order against me.

149) My patronus is not a Nazgul.

150) Neither is my animagus form.

151) "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

152) It still is not appropiate, even if I have subsituted the flying monkeys with gummy bears.

153) I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.

154) My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.

155) No part of the school uniform is edible.

156) Nor am I allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.

157) I will not try to take house points from the first years for "being too goddamned short".

158) Especially as I am in no position of authority and Dumbledore would have to be heavily drugged before he would ever make me a prefect.

159) I am not allowed to wear singing holiday-themed ties and claim that they are officially part of my uniform. Especially not during June.

160) Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.

161) Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.

162) I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.

163)I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.

164) I am to attend astronomy class and should stop yelling that aliens will abduct me if I do.

165) Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.

166) No matter how much I would enjoy watching Harry sing, "Saturday Night."

167) "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.

168) I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.

169) Nor am I to ask if he is Carlisle Cullen's evil, unfortunate-looking twin.

170) I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity.

171) Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden.

172) Voldemort does not wish to appear as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics. And no, he does not care how much money I make from it.

173) The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror".

174) Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is also inappropriate.

175) I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.

176) I will not sprend rumors that Legolas Greenleaf is his second cousin either.

177) Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "physicidelic mushrooms" and I should stop implying that she is.

178) The same goes for Professor Trelawney.

179) I will not get a tattoo of a smiley face on my arm and claim that it is the new Dark Mark.

180) When signing to all of these rules, I am not allowed to write in red ink and say that the Cullens lent me some grizzly bear blood.

181) I will not set my robes on fire to get out of potions.

182) I should not be a sports' commentator for Ron and Hermione's arguments.

183) Hogwarts does not need a "This many days since Harry has almost died," sign.

:FIRE:.
You have a short temper.
You often act on your emotions without thinking first.
You are very competitive.
You like to play with fire.
You are not a strong swimmer or you can't swim at all.
You prefer warm weather over cold weather.
You often lose control over yourself.
You can be quite reckless.
You sometimes hurt people without realising it.
People have often called you insane.
Total: 5

.:WATER:.
You have a calm, laid-back personality.
You like to go to the beach.
You rarely get angry.
When you do get angry, you know how to control it.
You think before you act.
You are good at breaking up fights.
You are a good swimmer.
You like the rain.
You can stay calm in stressful situations.
You are very generous.
Total: 3

.:EARTH:.
You are physically strong.
You have a close connection with nature.
You don't mind getting dirty.
You form strong opinions on issues that concern you.
You could easily survive in the wild.
You care about the environment.
You can easily focus on your work without getting distracted.
You rarely get depressed.
You aren't afraid of anything.
You prefer to have a strict set of rules.
Total: 4

.:AIR:.
You have a free spirit.
You hate rules.
You prefer to be out in the open rather than in small, enclosed spaces.
You hate to be restrained.
You are very independent and outgoing.
You are quite intelligent.
You tend to be impatient.
You are easily distracted. (Sometimes.)
You can sometimes be hyperactive and/or annoying. (That is a gift, my friend.)
You wish you could fly.
Total: 5

.:DARKNESS:.
You spend most of your time alone
You prefer nighttime over daytime.
You like creepy things.
You like to play tricks on people.
Black is your favorite color.
You prefer the villains over the heroes in movies, TV shows, video games, etc.
You don't talk much. (Super shy around those I don't know.[I'm not shy, I don't like people who I don't know)
You are atheist.
You don't mind watching scary movies.
You love to break the rules. (Some of them.)
Total: 8

.:LIGHT:.
You are very polite.
You are spiritual.
When someone is in trouble, you never hesitate to help them.
You believe everything you see or hear.
You are afraid of the dark.
You hate violence.
You hope for world peace.
You are generally a happy person.
Everyone loves to be around you.
You always follow the rules. (Some of them.)
Total: 1

Hee.hee, Darkness.