"HAHAHAHAHAHA THE MUTTS CAN GET BEAT UP BY PIXIES!" Emmett boomed laughing shaking the house

10 Ways To Annoy Jacob Black

10. Remind him that Bella picked Edward.

9. Remind him what Bella and Edward did on their honeymoon.

8. Tell him how Renesmee was conceived in full detail.

7. Buy him a Team Edward t-shirt.

6. Tell him that when Bella kissed him, she was intoxicated by Edward's presence so she didn't know what she was doing.

5. Tell him Bella likes her men pale and cold.

4. When he does something wrong, roll up a newspaper and say, "Bad dog!"

3. Pick up a stick, throw it, and yell, "Fetch!"

2. If he fetches the stick, pet his head and say, "Good doggie!" If he doesn't, smack his nose with the rolled up newspaper and say, "Bad doggie!"

1. Give him a pooperscooper for his birthday.
Edward vs Normal guys.

A normal guy would say: “I love you Baby!”
Edward Cullen would say: “You are my life now.”

Normal Guy would say: “I think I am falling for you.”
Edward Cullen would say: “The Lion fell in Love with the Lamb”

Normal Guy would say: “You hair looks like a haystack; go brush it!”
Edward Cullen would say: “Your hair looks like a haystack but I like it.”

A normal guy would pick a random song from a random artist and dedicate it to you.
Edward Cullen would sing you a song he wrote for you while playing the piano.

If you die, a normal guy would find another.
If you die, Edward would kill himself cause life without you isn’t worth living.

As you leave the house, a normal guy would say: “Bye, see ya!”
As you leave the house Edward Cullen would say: “Come back to me, love.”

As you come back to the house, a normal guy would be watching TV and wouldn’t even notice.
As you come back to the house, Edward Cullen would be welcoming you by playing the piano with a song just for you.

A normal guy would wait for you to make him breakfast.
Edward Cullen would make you breakfast everyday.

While you are both out for dinner, a normal guy wouldn’t keep his eyes off the sexy waitress.
Edward Cullen wouldn’t even notice the waitress was a female.

A normal guy, while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and one hand on the radio.
Edward Cullen, while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and the other attached to yours.

While far apart in different places, a normal guy would say: “I miss you.”
While far apart in different places, Edward Cullen would say: “It’s like you’ve taken half myself with you”

A normal guy wouldn’t care or notice if you had nightmares.
Edward Cullen would sing until your nightmares went away.
“Do you want me to sing to you? I’ll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away.”

A normal guy buys you flowers and chocolates.
Edward Cullen buys you a car.

If you have ever had the Edward/Jacob argument with someone, copy this to your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
If Robert Pattinson as Edward made you swoon, copy this to your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.
If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for yo1u (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.
You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary.
If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Edward Cullen is amazingly good looking...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.
If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse, copy and pastes this onto your profile.
If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.
If you love Kellen Lutz as Emmett Cullen, copy and past this into your profile
If you've ever had a really (and I mean really) obvious revelation, such as "my gosh, I get it, it's called fall, because the leaves fall from the trees!" copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly stupid, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you too are in love with a fictional vampire named Edward Cullen and are unashamed to admit it, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you are willing to admit that you are absolutely in love with Edward Cullen, a completely fictional character...copy/paste this into your profile
If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile.
If whenever you see a silver Volvo and you start to scream "Edward", copy and paste this in your profile
If you are in love with a Twilight character, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile. (OH YEAH!)
If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile! (HELL YEA!!)
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. (All the time)
If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.
If you've practically memorized Chapter 20 (Compromise) of Eclipse, put this on your profile.
If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Edward prefers brunettes.
Take that Blondes
"An Apple a Day keeps the doctor away; But if the doctor is Carlisle, screw the fruit"
Team Edward all the way!!
Cause Jacob wishes he could sparkle in the sun.

Twilight Oath
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
When a Volvo drives through town
I promise to obey traffic laws
Of course for Charlie's sake
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to remember Rose
Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful curly hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my emotions are go ahead and Bite me , Bucko!unfurled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaksi of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know
Twilight isn't an obsession...
it's a way of life you know..
And if you have a problem with my
Twilight "obsession" than you can Bite Me, Bucko

30 Things I have learned from Twilight
1. You can enjoy the bouquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porsche 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

Me: Can I please own Twilight?

SM: No.

Me: Please?

SM: No.

Me: What about Carlisle?

SM: No.

Me: Jasper?

SM: No.

Me: Emmett?

SM: No.

Me: Esme?

SM: No.

Me: alice?

SM: No.

Me: Well, who can I own?

SM: Jacob. *smiles evilly*

Me: What? No! No way in hell will I want that mutt! You can keep him! I want Edward! Can I have him?

SM: *sighs* No.

Me: Please! I'll give you...I'll give you...I'LL GIVE YOU CHOCOLATE!

SM*hesitates* N-n-n-no! NO!

Me: Well, I guess I'll just have to eat all this chocolate all by myself...

SM: *tackles me to the ground* GIVE ME THAT CHOCOLATE!

Me: *takes a very angry Edward and runs off into the sunset* No one can resist chocolate!

Voice inside my head: No one can resist a very angry Edward

You have been diagnosed with Obsessive Cullen disoder

"What do you want, Emmett," Edward breathed, while running a hand through his hair.
"Well, I want to eat your food! OWH! You made pancakes?! Yey! I love your pancakes!" Emmett yelled, making Edward grimace at him.

"Sometimes, I wonder if he loves that thing more than he does me," Rosalie sighed. The character in the xbox suddenly stopped, and Emmett was beside Rosalie.

"You know I love you more than anything," Emmett whispered. Alice and Bella dragged Edward out of the room. He was probably going to thank them later. Although, he feared for Jasper. What's he going to do when he sees them doing God knows what in there?

"I wonder what's gonna happen to Jasper," Bella said, as if she read his mind.

"OMG! Yeah!" Alice screamed. Just then, there were yells from the room
"EMMETT GET OFF HER RIGHT NOW! I DO NOT NEED A SHOW RIGHT AFTER I COME FROM THE BATHROOM, YOU HEAR ME?!" and that was Jasper. They heard alot of shuffling, and Alice slammed the door open.

"Jasper! Calm down!" she said, and ran to Jasper. He calmed down, and I wondered why he was so protective of Rosalie. I shrugged, and came into the door.

"That's quite alright ma'am," Edward said stepping forward and offering her his hand. "My name is Edward Cullen."
"Nice to meet you, Edward, I'm Nancy."

Dateless for to long -fanfiction chapter 24

YOU SAY HARRY POTTER
I SAY TWILIGHT SERIES
YOU SAY TIMELESS
I SAY BREATHLESS
YOU SAY LUST
I SAY LOVE
YOU SAY THE BEAR AND THE WOLF
I SAY THE LION AND THE LAMB
YOU SAY STEPHEN KING
I SAY STEPHENIE MEYER
YOU SAY TROY BOLTON
I SAY EDWARD CULLEN
YOU SAY GABRIELLA MONTEZ
I SAY ISABELLA SWAN
YOU SAY BRAD PITT
I SAY ROBERT PATTINSON
YOU SAY MADONNA
I SAY ASHLEY GREENE
YOU SAY WEREWOLF
I SAY VAMPIRE

These are things i copied&pasted from stories and profiles,just sayin their not mine