Hey guys, Merytato, previously triforcelord, here. Just in case if you accidentally clicked on the wrong button, this is my profile. There are others like it, but this one is mine...ah, who am I kidding? THERE ARE NO OTHERS LIKE MINE! BWAHAHAHA!...Egotistical moment aside, please read on to find out more about myself, my stories, etc.

General Information:

Gender: Male. In other words, I am not Iron Man. For an explanation, please keep reading. You'll get there eventually.

Age: 21, although sadly I still look like I'm just beginning to hit puberty...there is not a single hair on my face...damn you genetics...

Birthday: May 13

Hair: Dark brown, with extreme curls. In fact, my hair is so curly it looks like a mix between a mullet and an afro if I let it grow out. I shall call it a manfro.

Eyes: Blue

Height: About 5'11, give or take an inch or two.

Weight: Here's a big shocker people. I weigh a grand total of 113 pounds. Think about it...yeah, I know it's sad...

Physique: Despite my low weight, I'm actually decently muscled. I'm physically fit at least (aside from my pitiful excuse for lungs), and I think I'm starting to grow a six pack...that or my fat rolls are finally starting to come in...

Skin: I spend too much time indoors playing video games, reading, reading manga, or watching anime. Writing has been added to that list. In other words, I'm one pale potato.

Species: I am a hyper unknown male annoying ninja. In abbreviation, a H.U.M.A.N. Or at least, that's what everyone thinks...Secretly I am a glorious, fabulous, amazing, sexy, badass, AWESOME POTATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...I have issues...

Well, that about wraps it up for a description. Now for the whole Iron Man thing. Female. Fe=Iron. Male=Man. Female=Iron Man. So therefore, all females are Iron Man. And therefore, I am not Iron Man. Get it? Hahahahaha... LAUGH DAMN YOU!

Okay, time to get slightly more serious. The stories that I will write are directly influenced by what I'm interested in at the time. Seeing as I have been obsessed with anime for the past four years with no sign of stopping, it is safe to say that a majority of my stories will be from that area. However, I am also somewhat of a gamer. At the very least, I have the passion down, if not the skill with certain games (coughHalocough). So you can expect some stories from that area as well. It's possible I might write a story or two for some books at some point as well. I'm not really interested in much else, so those are the three main genres you can expect my stories to take place in.

Story Corner

Here is the current stats on my stories. It'll tell you about my possible update dates, which may not be entirely accurate but I'll try my best, as well as some upcoming stories for you to look forward to. I'm a college student now though, so even if I do take up writing seriously once more, I won't be able to update very often regardless. ;-;

The Distant Land: Status: Discontinued

The Shadows in our Souls: Ongoing *NEW*

The Shining Latios: Status: Ongoing

This Can't Be Happening: Status: Undecided

The Fourth Member of Team 7: Status: Discontinued (Potentially going to be revived and restarted. I wouldn't get your hopes up too much though.)

The Lost Light: Status: Discontinued

By that Sin fell the Angels: Status: Undecided

Divine Intervention: Status: Discontinued

The Dance of the Dead: Status: Oneshot

Why Link Should Never Drink Coffee: Status: Oneshot

Why Link Should Never Drink Coffee: Part Deux: Status: Oneshot

Why Link Should Never Drink an Energy Drink: Status: Oneshot

How Pokemon Eggs Are Found: Status: Oneshot

Upcoming Stories:

Why Link Should Never Drink Alcohol: Oneshot, Rated T, Humor/Parody, Link/Bo, Legend of Zelda

Personal Quotes That I Enjoy

"On the internet, no one knows you are a potato." (I wonder what handsome devil made this one)

"Life is a game, and we are the pieces."

"The strong or the stupid pick on the strong, and the weak or the cowardly pick on the weak."

"The person who said life has only two certainties, death and taxes, didn't think enough. There are actually three: Death, Taxes, and Uncertainty."

Now for some Copy and Paste

If you like to freak the hell out of people, just to see the look in their faces, copy and paste this on your profile.

If someone ever called you insane or crazy and you laughed, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever gazed blankly at somewhere, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt bored at school, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Midna is awesome,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy & Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever played extremely bloody and cruel games, dispatching your foes with no remorse,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Ilia should burn in Death Mountain so Midna can have Link, paste this on your profile.

If you think Midna should just get together with Link already, copy and paste this.

If you think Midna was going to tell Link she loves him, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have strange dreams that never, ever make any sense whatsoever, put this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you think Preps travel in packs, copy and paste this into a profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking' Trix copy this into your profile.

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person who gets excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile

If you think Midna should be coming back in another game,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you felt sad at the ending of LoZ TP,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever managed to steal cookies from the kitchen,without getting caught,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Midna's true form is SEXY HOT, copy and paste this into you profile.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE.

If you have ever yelled at your television because a character or someone you don't like was on copy and paste this into your profile.

If you enjoy swimming, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been completely, utterly, unbearably, inhumanely, maddeningly bored, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever woken up on the floor of your bedroom for no explainable reason, copy this into your profile.

If your neighbors think you or your family (or both) are psycho, copy this into your profile.

If you enjoy pancakes (or waffles) a little bit too much, copy this into your profile.

If you agree that Dora needs to use some of that "Sticky Tape" on her mouth, copy this into your profile.

If you're easily distracted, then...HEY! WHAT'S THAT?

If you laugh to yourself then get annoyed when people ask why, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this to your profile

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that you have more than one if you think that you have more than one of the same copy and paste copy and pastes copy and pasted into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that last one made any sense whatsoever to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Naruto and Hinata are meant to be together and think that it will happen, copy and paste in your profile. NARUHINA FTW!! DarkSamuraiX1999

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile! (Easy...)

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't
always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It
declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to
administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform
parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their
victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and
was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the
majority and do nothing.

RIP We shall remember

The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

Two dead Boys, Unknown.

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Horray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise and
Came to stop those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
and kicked the lawman in his thigh.

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;
The long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of the big round table,
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Thank you for reading this. By reading this, you have wasted approximately five to ten minutes of your life that you will never get back. While you have been reading this, I have snuck up behind you and am about to slam your head into the keyboard. GOT YA! Or maybe not. Well, at least it brought me satisfaction to know that your time has officially been wasted. Well, if you ever want to talk to me, feel free to PM me. Tati bye bye for now! - Merytato