Hey, I'm i.heart.twilightxx... obviously. If you have actually bothered reading this, thanks :D:D

Stuff about me
My name is Eliza and I am 15.

I am an aussie (I don't ride kangaroos to school, or have any in my backyard and I don't say 'G-day' all the time... haha i knew some-one who actually thought i had kangaroos in my backyard.. funniest day of my life. :D:D!)

I Love: Taylor Lautner!, Daniel Cheeny (Angela and Ben's kid-- read peices of the puzzel by Drish, it's good!), Jacob Black, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, anklets, charm braclets, rain, hail, snow, my dog sammy, my friends, olives, olive bread, fanfiction, recieving emails when people reply to my reviews, cupcakes, sleeping, juno (my fav movieeee), stick it, step up, she's the man, earings, kids, RIBBONS!(especially pink), blonde jokes( I'm blonde, and they're definatley my fav jokes!)...

My favourite..stuff...

Twilight quotes

"Goodbye Jacob, my brother...my son."
-- Edward Cullen

"What do you call a blonde with a brain?A Golden Retriever"
-- Jacob Black

"Early marraige was higher up on her blacklist than boiling live puppies"
-- Bella Swan, about Renee

"I'll stop by your crypt after school."
-- Jacob Black

"You're wounding my ego, Bella. I just proposed to you, and you think it's a joke."
-- Edward Cullen

“I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around.”
-- Emmett Cullen

Emmet: "Fall again, Bella?"
Bella: "No Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face."

"Did you seriously just stomp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV..."
-- Jacob Black

"How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?"
--Alice Cullen

"I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy in my life!"
-- Alice Cullen

"In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will?"
-- Bella Swan

Afraid of a needle." he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..."
-- Edward Cullen

Random movies quotes

Cause the only thing more fun than getting rips, is when your rips get rips. It's super sexy...
-- Hayley, Stick it

And floor? Are you serious? I mean, who doesn't wanna parade around in leotards getting wedgies and doing dorky coreography?! It's delicious...
--Hayley, Stick it

Joanne: What do they have that we don't?
Wei Wei: Ah.. lives?!
Mina: Time?
--silence--
Hayley: ..boobs
--All look down--
-- Stick it ...bahahaha :D:D

I'll let you in on a secret, though. My mom, says I'm special on the inside.
--Scott, John Tucker Must Die

John: So, did you like the flowers?
Kate: Sure, if you're into that kind of thing.
John: Cuz, you know, I didn't get a call...
Kate: I didn't have a pen.
(hahahahahaha, Caity xD)
--John Tucker Must Die

Justin: End of discussion
Viola: FINE, End of relationship.
Soccer guys: Oowwww
Justin: Baby, don't be like this, i just don't wanna see you get hurt.
Viola: Aaw, you are so full of whistle blows
--She's the man

Ray: What do you think when you see this?
Hancock: Homo.
Ray: shows and this?
Hancock: Homo in red.
Ray: and this?
Hancock: Norwegian homo.
--Hancock

Layla: Wow, that is really deep!
Warren Peace: reading off of a fortune cookie Yeah. And your lucky numbers are... 4, 16, 5... and 49
--Sky High

I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means "no".
--Barbarossa, Pirates of the Carribean

Murtogg: The Black Pearl is a real ship.
Mullroy: No, it's not.
Murtogg: Yes it is, I've seen it.
Mullroy: You've seen it?
Murtogg: Yes.
Mullroy: You haven't seen it.
Murtogg: Yes, I have.
Mullroy:You've seen a ship with black sails that's crewed by the damned, and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out?
Murtogg: No.
Mullroy: No.
Murtogg: But I have seen a ship with black sails.
-Jack quietly slips passed them unnoticed-
Mullroy: Oh, and no ship that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out could possibly have black sails, therefore couldn't possibly be any other ship than the Black Pearl. Is that what you're telling me?
Murtogg: -nods- No.
-- Pirates of the Caribean (Completely contradictory, gotta love it :D!)

Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for, of course, Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.
-- Pirates of the Carribean

Willy Wonka: Everything here is edible. I'm edible, but that my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
-- Charlie and the chocolate factory

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think your best friend/s are insane, put this in your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stalked some-one you thought was hot, copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do and then cried because Edward wasn't there to catch you, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and prode of it, put this in your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile..

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you think that reading Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile..

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile..

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile)

If you are absolutely in love with Jacob copy and paste this into your profile

Random; but really cool stuff

Have you ever wondered what happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Darth Vader-Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Luke Skywalker-Nah, the rebels have cake.

Darth Vader-ooh! Can I be a rebel?!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Smoother Than You since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier Than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Prettier Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy?

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep)VOLVO S60R,LoveMeForeverORLoveMeNever, EdwardEclipse, Alexz1jude, bAByBluEeYeS2008, i.heart.twilightxx

Random Funny Stories

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

On day, a white man said "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
-- Hahaha, you tell him :D:D

Stupid stuff on labels

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(Hmm.. does Korea have high child hommicide rates?)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As apposed to what?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Mmhmm..)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Nah.. seriously?)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Cause we try this everyday...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Geez, just ruin a universal childhood belief, why don't you?)

Cute stuff

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your hand in front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have you,

THE one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile..aww! :D:D

Sad Stuff :( :(

Try Not To Cry:

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

This story is about a little girl that was abused. It is really quite sad...If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile. (Warning: Depressing)

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake

I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Daddy's Poem:

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress tied with a bow,

Today was Daddy's Day at school and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home,

Why the kids not might understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid, she knew just what to say,

What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone,

And that was why, once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all,

About a dad she never sees, a dad who never calls.

There were daddy's along the wall in back for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently,

Anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called, a student from the class,

To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare,

Each of them was searching, a man who wasn't their.

"Where's her daddy at?"

She heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one." another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say,

"Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, as she smiled up at her mom,

And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, she slowly began to speak,

And out of the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away,

But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know,

All about my daddy, and how he loves me so.

He loved to tell me storys, he taught me to ride my bike,

He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to sahre fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone,

And though you cannot see him, I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart,

I know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart."with that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest,

Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears,

Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love, of a man not in her life,

Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd,

She finished with a voice so soft, but it's message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star,

And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine, and died just this past year,

When a roadside bomb hit his convoy, and taught Canadians to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away,"

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement, she witnessed with surprise,

A room full of daddy's and children, all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside,

Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him by her side.

"I know your with my daddy,"to the silence she called out,

And what happened next, made believers out of those once filled with doubt.

Not one of them could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed,

But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrent, long-stemmed, pink rose.

And a child was blessed for only a moment, by the love of her shining star,

And given the gift of believing that heaven is never to far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them, but then an entire lifetime to forget them.

xxxx

A girl and guy were driving fast down the highway on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love

xxxx

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

xxxx

So yeah.. thats it!, See you Guys

Love Eliza ~i.heart.twilightxx~