Hi!! OK, I'm canceling my user name out by telling you my name. Val. Or Valerie, whichever one you prefer. To be honest, you can really call me absolutely anything, it's just a name. How about Lacy? I like Lacy. I am only saying this because I will refer myself as such and I will speak of my friend Melissa or MissMe113 who introduced me to Fan-Fiction often. Thank you BTW. I can't tell a short story so don't say I didn't warn you.

Um, OK. It's hard to write about yourself like this. It makes you feel un-modest. Or whatever the big fancy word for 'un-modest' is.

Age: I'm 17. You are a dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen...

Now my favourites, if you ever want to please me, pay attention.

Music: I can't answer this. My music preference is messed up. But at least I don't listen to it at a decibel the neighbors can hear and complain about, like Melissa.

Movies: Sweeney Todd for ALL THE WIN; The Simpsons Movie; Bruce Almighty; Yes Man(great message); Harry Potter movies(DOUBLE MIDNIGHT PREMIERE BABY); Just Like Heaven;The Corpse Bride; a lot of stuff with people like Jim Carrey or Adam Sandler; and some movies I've seen several times(not always from the beginning) are White Chicks, Mean Girls, Evan Almighty, and I'm a sucker for animated movies.

Books: Harry Potter (series); Hunger Games series; Alice in Wonderland; Emily the Strange; Milrose Munce and the Den of Professional Help;Um...heck, I like a LOT of books!:P

Stuff in General: Summer is my favourite season; Friday is my favourite day(eternal damnation to that song...); pasta is my favourite food; I freaking love ice cream to death; too many animals to choose from; Halloween is my favourite holiday of all time; Hershey's cookie and cream chocolate is my fav chocolate(it's DELICIOUS!)

Random Stuff(the best kind of stuff)

My hair is poofy...I've learned absolutely love it though. It's cuddly in a very itchy way. I had two old friends straighten it one day...it took an hour and a half... Kathy had them licked at one hour going solo. Even at a hair salon I needed 2 people going at once.

I talk to myself a lot. I probably should stop shouldn't I? No, I think it's o.k; I know I'm not the only one. Feels like I'm in a special weird family that always talks to themselves so there's hardly any secrets 'cause everyone says them out loud. I like it; I'm staying.

If I didn't have the ability to daydream, I'd be dead by now.

Sometimes, you just have to reflect on your life and be thankful for what you have. Be it family or friends, or life in general. Thank whoever you worship, or just enjoy life. There are people of all different beliefs, I've got nothing against them.

I really hate those electronic, monotone voices you hear now and then. Is it so hard to use a real voice? Really. The huge effort put into creating the machine to imitate the sounds that form the words and they can't ask someone to record themselves talking? Millions of lonely bored people already do because they simply have nothing else going on in their lives. Go out and find one you lazy companies!

About 28 percent of anything anyone I talk to says I don't hear. I just nod my head and maybe laugh to avoid awkwardly asking them to repeat themselves.

Melissa is a self-appointed Wizard and I call her that too. Since I wanted a name too, she named me The Apprentice. No relation to the show. (Is that even still on?)

We make several plans that we may or may not follow through. But if we do, be prepared because we're going to rule the universe.

I'm a computer addict. My computer's name was Elizabeth but I prefer Liza. And the monitor is Osiris. I got a netbook, and his name is Cobalt.

I like to name inanimate objects. My iPod is Genesis, my cell phone is Nameless(yes, that's actually hir name). Then I started naming things after people. My lamp is Emily, and my camera is Devon.

I help MissMe113 with her story writing. I check for spelling errors(I miss a few sometimes) and I give her my opinion on what she's wrote. I'm her own personal editor. Who doesn't get paid by the way. Read her stories!!(I am a shameless promoter)

Random Quotes (mostly for my personal amusement :P)

"Hey Baledie, did you see that car? No I didn't see it, I'm in the trunk!" Me and Carlo

"I think I have a skeleton here somewhere..." Homeroom teacher

"I think I licked your knee." Emily

"Oh, I licked your coat, sorry." Emily

"Madame, Johnny fell off the wall!" Melissa

"Too bad we died." Melissa

"Val! Send me the black heart!" Emily

"No offense, but you're an idiot." Crimson

"You never chose truth or dare and then just made some stupid story about a potato." Paloma

"I'm black, Australian, British." Devin

"Why are you dancing with a bag of cheese?" Emily

"Val, that would be illegal. What is it with you guys and 'laws'?" Me and Emily

"You really should've worn a hat." "I should've worn a better face!" Me and Emily

"I am going to get a picture of my tail!" Emily

"Shut up! I think I just put my head in cheese!" Emily

"How long was 5 minutes ago?" Me

"I've only known you for three hours and I already want to kill you." Ashley

"I just fell off the ceiling!" Emily

"Help me sexy sandwich man!" Emily

"We're going to spend all night texting him aren't we? That's sad. No we won't. He doesn't have to be where our attention is centered on. He can just be on the side. He'll be like...rice." Me and Emily

"So he's rice, Paloma's soup, Crimson's a drink, Johnny's a mint, I'm salad, and you're bread." Emily

"Why is there a gumball machine where we put our shoes? It's your father's. Why do we have so much crap in our house? We've got a stove in the hall, a fridge in the living room; I tell my friends it's feng shui." Carlo and Mama

"WHY SANTA WHY?!" Me

"Screw white eggs! They're the racists of eggs! WE only eat the minority eggs." Carlo

"Rock made citrus spill on my desk!" Carlo

"Holy crap, I'm a ninja!" Crimson

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Richard Nixon!" Carlo

"Ugh, these pants are so tight. I walked all the way here; I think I have diaper rash." Sarah

"I looked like a radioactive panda." Patrick

"O.k, then you're a power-hungry anorexic farmer ho." Emily

"If I have to greet a Japanese businesses man today, he's going to get punched in the face." Me

"Do you know what you want for Christmas yet? Uh, no... points to brother Not you; no motorcycle for you. It's what I want! Next you'll be telling me you want a gun. Yes, in fact I do want a gun. I'm actually serious, I want a gun now. I'm going to ask Santa to buy me a gun. You're going to ask Santa for a gun? Yeah. I've been a good boy. I want a sword! A SWORD?? Yes, I want a sword. Seriously. I've told like three people already I want a sword. What do you want a sword for? Sword... related... needs...? Maybe I should just get you some rope and you can make yourself a noose, save you some trouble. That's just stupid. YES I WANT ROPE. mom looks at me strangely What? We have no good rope. I've wanted rope for like a year now." Me, Mom, and Carlo

" Sharpening up my knife, sharpening up my knife, this isn't good for my sanity, sharpening up my knife " Me singing

"I swear, if she says one word, I will bite her eye." Me thinking

"Phew, it's been a stressful day; I think I should light a sock on fire." Me

"Never have I been so happy to watch a commercial about genital herpes." Melissa

"Hey guess where I just was! I dunno, Sarah said she knew where you were but she didn't say where. CHEO. Why? I got hit by a car!" Me and Carlo

"What if I'm a black woman?" Matthew

"I say whatever I want. WHY AM I A BUNNY?!" Carlo

"THE BIRDS ARE COMING! THE BIRDS ARE COMING! COVER YOUR EYES!!" Me

"I AM THE ICE QUEEN." Me

"I can't move to the left! You're picking up a Chinese signal!" Me and Devon

"HEEEEELLLLLLPP!! UNICORN!!" Melissa

"Easy would be falling asleep; this is not easy. This is like World War 3 in textual form!!" Melissa

"If you were a duck, I'd cry of jealousy." Kathy

"Shut up, shut up! There's something going on in Antarctica!" Crimson

"Don't worry; I'm just gonna choke you." Paloma

"I think I'm in love with a penguin!" Crimson

"Aha! I've got it on tape!...In my mind..." Crimson

"Jesus is Spiderman!" Paloma

"Seems I have too strong of ADD to use mind control. You can relax, world." Me

"It feels like I just got slapped in the face with Christmas." Me

"No spaghetti! WHY WOULD YOU HURT WHAT I LOVE??" Me

"Oh! Oh! Is it the Canadian theme song?? ...You mean O Canada? Wow...you've only lived here, what, 9 YEARS?" Paloma, Me, and Crimson

"Why is that your answer to EVERY end of the world scenario? 'Let's move to Nunavut!' " Me

"Ok, you can have your rainbow, fuzzy tail; just let me finish." Patrick

"You may be wondering, 'Why hasn't she gotten dressed yet?' Well, I've been asking myself that same question for seven hours now. I think it's a moot point now." Me

"It's kind of weird when someone isn't afraid of you, Kathy." Me

"Oh my goodness, we got lost going TO the maze. Inside, we were just hopeless." Patrick

"These things were so f*king thin, o.k? Like Doctor Noodles or something I swear-Kathy. What? Doctor Noodles? ...You mean Mister Noodles? *very slow face palm* Me and Kathy.

"I'm bored. Let's go to a museum!" Me

"Look for the pimp!" Brianna

"Basically they're saving the world, with goats." Kathy

"I'm going to kidnap her body, and insert my soul into it." Tristan

"Bambi doesn't have herpes!" Brianna

"I TOLD YOU IT WAS A GAY SEX HOUSE!" Kathy

"I am going to overdose on mints. This is how I will die." Me

"Why can't we go on ONE family vacation without Mimima (my grandma) doing tequila shots?" Me

"You don't like avocado? Nah. Why? Is it because it looks like the diarrhea of a baby cucumber? " Papa and Carlo

"I'm really glad no one's questioned the ulterior motives of my squid." Me

"You know insanity is setting in when you're fighting with your vacuum, half naked." Me

"You know, I'm don't have a place picked for when I get cremated. Oh, I want to let free in Antarctica. Why Antarctica? So I can be with penguins! When you're dead? Yes! I'm going to look at all the pretty penguins! So as floating particles of ash, you're going to float around and be like, 'Yay! Penguins!' Penguins!" Me and Kathy

"You guys are gonna love this story. It's by a Canadian author, so it's like Shakespere, but with maple syrup." English teacher

"Goodbye magical land! Of Singapore!" Me and Devon

Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling on the computer!" Me and Devon to the tune of Proud Mary

"Oh no! You should be excited! It'll be fun! You'll be so happy; it'll be like snowboarding with Jesus!" English teacher

"Mmm, unicorn tears." Me

"Ooh, Pooh Bear, I didn't know you were so perverted!" Brianna

"We just went over this; we're doing inverse with the voodoo man!" Devon

"I blame the sock puppets. I've been watching too much Scottish falsetto sock puppet theater." Me

"Look! It's the polar bear licence plate from the northern countries! Territories. Wahh! I THOUGHT WE WERE EUROPE!" Me and Kathy.

"Ew no; black chocolate. Get it away. Uh, dark? Excuse me, African American." Me and Kathy

"Aw man, that was great. I miss being homeless." Buttons

"A teen lesbian agnostic dating site! Does such a thing exist? Maybe? I'm going to patent that." Me and Kathy

"Hurry up. I have to get home to do nothing!" Emma

"I dunno, I don't really like the word queer. It sounds a bit, strange. Yes. You might even say it sounds...queer." Me and Kathy

"No battery, don't die! I will give you power. [plugs in charger] DRINK." Devon

"I HAD to fix my hair. I looked like the humanized love-child of a broom and a mop" Me

"I don't have crushes; I have conquests." Melissa

"...I'm not crazy. What IS that? A two by four...wrapped in stuff" Me and Emily

"It's a highly psychological game! It's rock paper scissors. No, you don't understand!" Me and Emma

"When you die, there is literally a cow that feeds you beer! It's actually a goat. Even better!" Emily and Michael

"When you lose your virginity Val, you are going to be SUCH a good lay." Melissa

"MY ENTIRE LIFE IS A SNEEZE." Me

"I wanna be where it's warm! I wanna be in the sun! ...'I wanna be where the people are...' No Disney songs! NO ONE LETS ME FINISH MY SONGS!" Me and Emma

"He's an ASSHOLE! I think he's just socially awkward! So what? Val's socially awkward but she's not an asshole!" Me, Katie and Kelsey

"He was the most beastly octopus to ever play air hockey. I couldn't deal." Carlo

"June?! Omg that's only a month from now! If you don't count April!" Melissa

"There's a doughnut with eyes... There's ALWAYS a doughnut with eyes." Me and Carlo

"Your house is like the COLD WAR of sexual activities. You need a tv show stat." Dani

"That guy's Lamborghini and I can't even pants." Carlo

I don't write stories that often, and triumph in actually finishing anything.

And I know what you're thinking right about now. I have an unnecessarily LONG profile for only posting one story.

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, and adieu.

Val