40 yr old SAHM. Two kids (one boy, one girl). Married. Love Twilight and Rob Pattinson. Love to read AH Twilight stories. Love my angst as well as my humor!

FF Pet Peeves of mine as a reader:

popping the p (and sound effects to any letter), bridal style, releasing the breath i didn't know i was holding, everything i never knew i wanted, core, center, folds, member, tongues fighting for dominance, ministrations, hilt, taut/taught, pebbled nipples, every chapter in ff does not have to have a lemon in it...please only put them in if it makes sense

(While this still bugs me I have seen it in many works outside of fanfic so I am not as bothered as much about it, but if you can re-word it, please do so) Definition of ministration: relief: assistance in time of difficulty or the act of ministering; The act or process of serving or aiding.(this does not have anything to do with any kind of sexual activity--I think the word you want is manipulation/s)

Definition of taut: tight
Definition of taught: past tense of teach

Definition of hilt: the handle of a sword or dagger

The word rueful (ruefully). It is used entirely too much.

I will soon post a link to a drawing I've made of fanfic Bella. She has teeny tiny hands, super long legs, her boobs are large (because Edward's hands are described as very large), her eyes are huge, her face is shaped like a heart. I am always amazed at how this woman who is nearly always described as almost a foot shorter than Edward can so easily kiss him without him having to squat or bend over or her to get up on tippy toes. And how they fit perfectly together (usually without any kind of adjustment).

Edward would be drawn with longish messy hair that is copper (since most people think bronze and copper are the same color; they are not), sculpted abs, arms with some muscle tone, a gigantic cock that's long and thick, super muscular legs.

Emmett always seems to be an actual gorilla the way he's described, without the hair/fur.

Please just make Alice Tinkerbell since that's how she is nearly always described. Yes it would make AH stories supernatural in nature, but it's the only way to explain her involvement in everything related to dressing and styling Bella.

Tanya, she wasn't even remotely bad or mean or really much of anything in the Saga, so why is she turned into such a homewrecking shrew. She was a friend to Edward. Yes Bella had some insecurity related to her because Tanya was a beautiful single girl in Edward's life that had a passing interest in him, but nothing ever came of that. I suppose someone has to be a villain. Always making it Victoria or James does get a bit old.