disgruntled femalehide bio
 Author has written 3 stories for Twilight, and NCIS. Hey all! My name is... of no importance. I've been addicted to fanfiction for quite a while now, but I'm a newbie to the whole 'actually writing a story' thing. So, if you don't like my stories, sorry, but I would love some constuctive critisism, since my goal is to be a writer when I get out of university, or something. I mean, can't you tell I have a way with words? coughcough I'm a proud canadian, and have been in french imersion since I was in kindergarten, so if I spell something the french way, I appologise. Like for example, 'canadian' and 'french' are supposed to have capital letters. I think. Oh well. I'm slightly too lazy to care right now. Also, I super apologise to anyone who is a stickler for spelling. I can't spell to save my life. Anywho... I am super psyched for the Twilight movie! It comes out 10 days before my next birthday! Can I hear a HELLZ YES!? Ahem. Please tell me what you think of my stories. I know most of you won't, but, whatevs, I love you anyway. OH OH OH!! Before you totally leave this page 'cause you think I'm a weirdo, I have some jokes that I think are hillarious. Ok. Ok. Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dislexic's Association (Sorry to any dislexic people. I just thought it was funny.) Q: Did you hear about the two antanae that got married? A (not really an answer, but whatever): The wedding wasn't that good, but the reception was great! Oh, you gotta love puns. Q: What's bright orange and sounds like a parrot? A: A carrot!! ...Right... Well I'm done making a fool of myself for one day. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Oh, one last thing. Don't forget to smile! It confuses people. |
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When Fiction Becomes Reality by BITTENEV reviews
Bella is a writer whose most successful book is one she wrote about Edward, her high school crush. Edward is now an A-list actor and has signed on to star in a movie based on Bella's creation. AU/AH Bella-of-the-Ball continuation.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 157,715 - Reviews: 8255 - Favs: 8,531 - Follows: 8,589 - Updated: 8/3/2011 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
Straight From the Textbooks by weartheseshorts reviews
When Bella is late for her assigned study room, she has no choice but to share the back room with her very hot teacher from high school. Short story. Lemon. All-Human. Bella/Edward. Inspired by Jayeliwood's "Sexy Eddie Contest".
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 64,463 - Reviews: 399 - Favs: 1,070 - Follows: 857 - Updated: 6/7/2011 - Published: 10/8/2008 - Bella, Edward
Friend Boy by Teeny Tiny Twilight reviews
As if starting a new school away from her friends and family isn't enough, she has nuisance/captain of the football team Edward interested in her. “Hello, I’m Edward Cullen.” She took my hand, shaking it, “I’m not interested.”AH/AU Bella has better balanc
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 167,260 - Reviews: 2929 - Favs: 4,309 - Follows: 1,540 - Updated: 9/21/2010 - Published: 9/16/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Just One of the Guys by SorceressCirce reviews
Scarred by events in her past, Bella relies heavily on her best friend and roommate, Jasper. When Jasper falls in love with a girl named Alice, Bella is excited for him but can’t help but wonder – where will she fit in? Canon pairings, AH/AU, OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 261,614 - Reviews: 4108 - Favs: 4,121 - Follows: 3,923 - Updated: 3/7/2010 - Published: 2/13/2009
A World of Darkness by BloodyAngel93 reviews
AU. Bella is blind and has been neglected by her mother her whole life. Then one day her mom ships her to Forks to stay with Charlie the man she's only met once and that was the day she was born.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 52,060 - Reviews: 298 - Favs: 288 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 12/31/2009 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Complete
Saving Alice by Jral reviews
Edward Masen is a Scout Sniper for the Marine Air-Ground Task Force. When reporter Alice Brandon is captured by the North Korean Army, it is up to Edward and Force Recon to save her, with the help of NSA Cryptanalyst Isabella Swan. M for language/violence
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,139 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 9/11/2009 - Published: 8/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Happily Ever After by AnnaOtaku reviews
Sequel to Our Favorite Year. It's been two years since Edward and Alice Cullen changed the lives of Jasper, Bella, Rosalie, and Emmett. But now, the drama they thought was gone from their lives has returned. Will things ever be the same again? J/B J/A B/E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 33,307 - Reviews: 511 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 5/30/2009 - Published: 8/23/2008 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Acceptance by wild-lili reviews
The bookworm,the jock, the queen bee,the punk,the nonconformist,and the player secretly they all wanted one thing-Acceptance. What happens when six very different people are thrust together by fate? Read to find out!All human.Rated T just to be safe!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 34,205 - Reviews: 400 - Favs: 257 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 5/24/2009 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Complete
Till Death Do Us Part by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
All human. Edward and Bella meet each other at a bar. They get drunk and hit it off. Edward admits that he won’t have sex till marriage. Bella, on a whim, asks Edward to marry her – he agrees. What a shame that Edward doesn't believe in divorce…
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 78,298 - Reviews: 8056 - Favs: 3,830 - Follows: 3,170 - Updated: 5/23/2009 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Bella, Edward
Maria by ahemyywe150 reviews
All human! Bella is aspiring towards her dream job but when a family crisis hits her, she has to adapt. This means getting a job as a babysitter for a cute little kid. Except there's one little snag: the kid's brother, Edward Cullen. BxE R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 100,004 - Reviews: 3041 - Favs: 2,648 - Follows: 1,394 - Updated: 5/2/2009 - Published: 6/22/2008 - Complete
Stranded by staceygirl aka jackbauer reviews
Bella gets stranded in a small town during a record storm. She meets Edward whom she is immediately attracted to and befriends, but why is it that everyone in the town seems to treat him like some sort of monster? Can she help him find peace again?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 112,808 - Reviews: 1555 - Favs: 1,607 - Follows: 562 - Updated: 1/9/2009 - Published: 9/29/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Not Just a One Night Stand by Apple Slushie reviews
Definition: A brief sexual encounter lasting only for a single night. Thats all Bella expected from man-about-town Edward, but thats not what he wants from Bella. OOC. AH. Mild Course Language. Based on Solo
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 75,284 - Reviews: 1771 - Favs: 828 - Follows: 1,063 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 1/4/2008 - Bella, Edward
Death's Daughter by GoodByexx reviews
Discontinued due to lack of time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,445 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 2/14/2008 - Edward, Bella
A Different Breed by BloodyAngel93 reviews
Keira Swan is a different breed. She's the only one in history. She is the consequence of the Romeo and Juliet like romance her parents shared. Her mother's dead but her father isn't and that's where her problems start. Rating up'ed due to language!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,982 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 12/6/2008 - Published: 6/8/2008
What you Bring out in Me by azacfan09590 reviews
All Human: REVISED! because I'm trying to make this story better, full summary inside.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 67,823 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 8/26/2008 - Published: 8/4/2008 - Bella, Edward
Pulling Heaven Down by Fidelian reviews
AU, All human. There's a really long way to go before you reach true love and happiness, and we all know how clumsy Bella is, don't we? BellaxEdward, JasperxAlice, EmmettxRosalie. I love reviews!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 41,787 - Reviews: 457 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 7/29/2008 - Published: 3/25/2008 - Bella, Edward
Let Sleeping Bella's Lie by your royal highness reviews
While Edward is out hunting with Jasper, Emmett is in charge of watching Bella while she sleeps. EdwardXBella, EmmettXRosalie, AliceXJasper, BellaXEmmett friendship Three-Shot
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,471 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/14/2008 - Published: 6/14/2008 - Complete
Hunted by yoyoente reviews
James discovered Bella before she ever moved to Forks. After killing Renee and Phil, James decides Bella will be his new mouse in his sick game. How will his plan to terrify her play out now that Bella is in Forks and indifferent to life? UP FOR ADOPTION!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 56,068 - Reviews: 816 - Favs: 248 - Follows: 297 - Updated: 6/23/2008 - Published: 4/29/2008 - Bella, James
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NCIS Episode One reviews
This is the story of three special agents and an Israeli officer. They work seamlessly as a team. But what happens when a young Canadian upstart joins the team on a mission involving a marine from her jurisdiction?
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/13/2009
My Rant reviews
Hey guys! This is basically just what I want to write about Twilight in general. Also, info about my upcoming stories!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,717 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/14/2009 - Published: 5/20/2008
Lucky Charms reviews
OOC/AU Bella moves in with the father who didn't know she existed. Will she follow her heart when it comes to the vegetarian vampire we all love? Or will she push him away when word of war comes to her people? And who exactly are her people?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,528 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 12/6/2008 - Published: 9/18/2008 - Bella, Edward