![]() Author has written 6 stories for Pokémon, and Undertale. STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand (So me! XD) If you think F.E.A.R. stands for Fuck Everything And Run, post this on your profile! "You know, logic has a brother. His name is SHUT THE HELL UP!" - Naruto Abridged 4. The Man Laws .. I follow these do you?? 1. No wasted beer in the name of humor. 2. It has been made official that under no circumstances should the male have to pay for birth control 3. If your best friend is dumped by a girl it is a 6 month waiting period till she can be touched. If he breaks up with her its a 6 day waiting period. 4. If two or more males arrived at a party by a single car, and the driving male is hooking up with a girl, it is the responsibility of the other males to find other ways home. 5. Short shorts have been banned.. unless in a participating in a sporting event that demands shorter shorts. Also no real man should be allowed to pop his collar. 6. Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals, law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal. 7. If a girl and a guy are not officialy dating then it can't be considered cheating. However...if the guy cheats with a girl that is less attractive to the one he is originally interested in then he is either... A) Drunk or B) Dumbass. This then gives the original girl the right to either get mad or laugh at you. 8. No one should ever steal a man's alcohol from that man's cooler...this is the only law that suffers the penalty of death. 9. When bringing condoms to a party it is a man's responsibility to pack two in his pockets and one in his car as a spare incase a friend is in desperate need. 10. No heavy fornication in a friend's bed. Or just wash the sheets. 11. No man shall ever use a rolling backpack. If you can't carry the bag then your not a man. 12. If another man's fly is down, you didn't see anything and may not make a comment about it. 13. When a man is borrowing a buddies tool or other equipment, if the borrowie puts any scratches or brings it back with any noticable wear, then he is required to do one of the following: If the item costs under 50 bucks, you are required to replace it. If the item costs over 50 bucks, you are required to give him a case of beer, because hey...who wants to spend more than 50 bucks on something that isn't yours. 14. When your friend picks up a hot girl...however the hot girl has an ugly friend...it is only right that you operate as a wing man doing whatever it is you gotta do to help your buddy have some time alone with the hot girl. As men we are obligated to sacrifice and pay it forward for each other knowing that the favor will one day be repayed. 15. When calling shotgun, all riders of the car must be outside, and shotgun can only be called when the car is in view. Riders in the car are not allowed to run to shotgun and steal it before the person who called and deserves it arrives there. The driver of the car has no authority to decide on who gets shotgun. If a legitimate confrontation comes up where the rightful owner of the shotgun can not be determined then it will be decided by one round of rock paper scissors (with no shoot). If the two contenders tie 5 times in a row then the rightful owner of the shotgun is to be decided by a UFC cage match in which the first blood drawn decides the rightful owner of shotgun. Addendum to Man Law No. 15: 16. It is ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS with no shoot. If you must say shoot, it has to be agreed upon by both men and a witness has to be present and somewhat sober. 17. When toasting with beers you clank with the bottom. 18. You poke it you own it. 19. The head nod is an acceptable way to greet another guy when simply walking past. No words are needed to be said. An upward nod is for friends, a downward nod is for fellow men. 20. If a man is on vacation to a state that does not border his own, or any other country, it is not considered cheating if he so chooses to engage in sexual activity with a girl other than his girlfriend. Although he should be fully aware that his girlfriend may not see eye to eye if she was to ever find out. 21. A man should not masturbate more than 3 times in a day to insure being ready for any unknown or known late night action. Assisting Girls does not count.. rule is in exception if male party is in a bet to set a record of number of times in a day. 22. A man shall never wear any article of women's clothing (I.E .. Girls Jeans/Pants!) unless they are the loser of such a bet.. or if a man is figuratively in a girls pants.. (or any other article of clothing). 23. No man in any circumstance, unless mocking a violater of this law, should pop his collar. 24. A man should never be denied the right to adjust himself or place his hands down his pants under any circumstances. 25. Being a Pirate should be considered a Manly job because pirates get two types of booty. 26. All men must eat meat. A shitload of meat. If not borderline carnivore. For no reason should a man ever be a vegitarian, or eat sick shit like tofu. Also no man should consume any food with the terms "diet", "fat free", or any other healthy suggesting terms for the sake of "watching his weight" or dieting. 27. Every man is required to learn some form of Poker before he dies. 28. If a man ever does something wrong a simple "OOPS", "My Bad", or any variations of cuss words that get the point across will suffice, no need to say "I'm Sorry" 29. No man should ever hook up with his best friend's girl, no matter how hot she is. This is in effect while they are dating or "together." If they are seperated refer to Law 3 for the proper way to handle the situation. (Side Advice: Less guilt is involved if she comes on to you. 30. Under no circumstance should any one man cockblock another mans attempt at getting some tang. Lets just leave that up to the tangs fat friend. Please note that cockblocking will result in a suspension of your Man status and its privileges, and will result in the title Manbitch. 31. Every man should watch sportscenter at least once a day, though multiple viewings are recomended so that one can hold his own in any debate on sports that may arise that day. 32. Under no circumstances shall any man lay a hand on a female or a child in violence. Spanking of a woman's ass or pulling of the hair is permitted if done on request. Corporal punishment is permitted excluding obvious extremes. Punishment for the attacking male is that if other men see the assault taking place they having the right to take him out back behind a building and show him how to fight with real men. In this situation more than one man may be used in the attacking of said woman beater because he clearly doesn't mind an unfair fight seeing as he was hitting a lady or a child to begin with. A call to the police is a very last resort and should only be used if said male is over 6' 5" 250lb. or a UFC cage fighter. A kick to the crotch is only called for in cases of rape. If it is merely a guy beating a woman, defenseless child, or elderly people then a legitimate beating is called for, but no shots to the crotch. If it is a case of rape however, multiple shots to the crotch are called for. The punishment must fit the crime and since rape is using that area of the body, it is ok to inflict damage to it. 33. If a woman is present whether family or friend no man under any circumstances shall make their own food or pour their own drinks unless it is a special holiday such as, Mother's day, Birthday's, or St. Patrick's day or if the woman cannot keep up with the pace you want your drink poured. Law is void if significant grilling is involved. 34. No man shall ever watch a soap opera ever! Period! If this law is broken, it will result in the lowering of status from man to manbitch and the questioning of the liking of opposite gendered relationships. 35. Women can't drive. 36. In the court of Man Law the statement "I was Drunk" will have the same effect as an insanity plea (reduced punishment) in standard court provided the defendant's blood alcohol level exceeds .10. 37. If any male is caught violating a Man Law in serious context, as a form of punishment he should be disowned of his manly name, only to receive the title of "Manbitch" from his peers and colleagues. Forgiveness is pending the severity of the broken law...or a case of beer to all his offended peers as a token of respect to what is manly...and what is not. 38. Any man that is old enough and is not in the army should at least support the troops, even if you dont agree with the war they are your country men fighting to protect you and you should show them your support 39. No more crushing of empty beer cans on your forehead. modern, thinner cans make the feat less impressive than with cans of years past. 40. If you take beer to a party the tuck rule is in play when leaving, you may take one beer max, but only if the beer will fit in your pocket. 41. Do not have a conversation at a urinal. 42. A man will not live in his parents house past the age of 27 unless they are ill or he is in the war. 43. All men have the right to remain silent when asked by a woman "do you like this". and the right to leave the room. 44. Sex is more important then talking 45. No man under any circumstance shall use lip balm. 46. Grilling regardless of weather is always the first choice for cooking. 47. No man shall ever own a dog smaller then a housecat 48. Men will invite other men to Man Law 49. No man shall ever turn down free beer because "its not their brand." 50. No man shall be shamed if they are passed out with their shoes off in your place. If the person passes out outside of the house, then they are fair game shoes or not. 51. It is acceptable for a man to publicly situate and/or scratch himself in the region of the gonads. If at a formal conference, then do so discretely. If at a football party, scratch away, just no handshakes. 52. The morning after, if a beer has been left on the table, no matter the temperature, it is acceptable to consume this item with food, such as its counterpart, cold pizza. 53. If you spill a man's beer, you buy the next round/refill the cup. 54. Nursing a beer is unacceptable. The bottle/can/cup should never reach lukewarm temperature with beer still in it. If you cant drink it in said time, don't open it. If you cant drink it in said time, your man status will be up for review. 55. Always accept beer from a stranger, but only if unopened/capped. 56. It is never a man's responsibility to empty the trash while drinking. Beer cans may be staked or crushed while the bottles may be thrown into neighbor's lawn. 57. A man does not have to like another man to drink his beer. Beer is beer. 58. It is acceptable for a man to break man laws, if no other option is humanly possible, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. His actions will be given leeway. 59. The bachelor's party is exclusively male. (except the entertainment). 60. No man may ever sell a beer to a friend. Its understood that said friend will repay beer with beer later. Under no circumstance may the replacement beer be of a lesser quality. 61. A man purse is still a purse. 62. No man shall dance for fun unless its to increase his chances with a member of the opposite sex. 63. Body paint is onlly acceptable on a man if its on gameday and to support his team. 64. No man shall bring a woman to the guys night out. this is punishable by verbal abuse for life. 65. If you do not sweat, its not a sport. 66. If a large snake catches a man offguard and bites, said man is allowed to scream once. 67. No man shall wear a beret unless its for his military service. 68. When lifting weights, it is acceptable for a man to wear compression shorts under the regular shorts. No man shall ever wear compression shorts alone. 69. No man shall ever, under and circumstance, share an umbrella with another man. 70. No two men are allowed to enter a revolving door together. Unless it involves a race were the winner receives a combination of the following: beer, food, sex. 71. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want" gets an Xbox. End of story. 72. Keeping beer from other's by hiding it in the fridge is not permissable. Besides, sharing is caring. 73. Wives and girlfriends may not store items other than beer in the garage fridge. It is for beer only. 74. A man may publicly rebuke another man only if the first man has the man law and number memorized. Otherwise the rebuke must be in private. Furthermore, any man who has the man laws memorized will be deemed a "higher" man. 75. In no situation is it acceptable to sit cross-kneed. You either sit with feet-crossed, no cross, or stand. 76. Men are allowed to lick the plate when done but only when alone or with other men. 77. A man should be able to determine a diesel engine by sound alone. 78. While smiling, no man shall stick his tongue between his teeth. 79. It should be understood that while, yes, cheerleading is not a sport, and it is perfectly accepted to watch. 80. If a man is punched, and the hit is rubbed, he is punched again in the same area twice. 81. A man should be able to lucidly explain the rules of one or more of the following sports: Football (not the European kind), Baseball, or Ice Hockey. 82. The dressing of any pet for any reason is not acceptable...any garment that is not a part of the animal shall not be allowed to be attached to that animal...exceptions are collars, leashes, etc. exception to this rule are monkeys. 83. Under no circumstances shall any man drink wine cooler...ever...unless beer or liquor is completely unattainable. This includes anything (non liquor) fruit flavored that comes in a bottle. 84. Under no circumstances shall a man ever defer control of the television remote to a female. 85. There are three reasons for which a man is allowed to cry. 86. When watching a "catfight" it is perfectly acceptable to choose sides. It is also perfectly acceptable to pray for rippage of clothing. 87. When in a public shower, no man will look below the shoulders. Also, no eye-to-eye contact for more than one second is allowed. If eye contact occurs, nod upwards, and look away. 88. No man under any circumstances should have to explain the use of a power tool to another man. 89. Never should man give a woman the credit card. No exceptions. 90. No man should talk on a telephone to a girl longer than he will have sex with her. 91. Every man should smoke at least one premium cigar in his life. Not any swisher sweet crap either. Cohiba, Monicristo, CAO (Cade Mayo). 92. No man shall ever read an instruction manual. If the man does not know how to use the item trial and error shall be used until the correct function is determined. 93. No man shall be held accountable for any promise he makes while drunk unless it was a bet. (Boots Jones) 94. When questioned by a friend's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You are even permitted to deny his very existence. 95. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 24 hours. 96. A best man's toast may not include any of the following phrases, "down in Tijuana", "one time when we were all piss drunk", or "and this girl had the biggest rack you ever saw". 97. You may exaggerate any anecdote told to your friends by 50 without recrimination, beyond that anyone within earshot is allowed to yell out "bullshit!". (exception: when trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration is 400) 98. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another man is 5 minutes. The maximum is 6 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale. 99. Bitching about the brand of free beverages in your buddy's refrigerator is forbidden. But gripe at will if the temperature is not suitable. 100. A friend must be permitted to borrow anything you own - grill, car, firstborn child - within 12 hr notice. Women or anything considered "lucky" are not applicable in this case. 101. Falling on a grenade for a buddy (agreeing to distract the skanky friend of the hot babe he's trying to score) is your legal duty. But should you get carried away with your good deed and end up getting on the beast, your pal is forbidden to ever speak of it. 102. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a Buffalo wing clean. 103. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. (in fact, even remembering your best friends birthday is optional) 104. You must offer heartfelt condolences over the death of a girlfriends cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan. 105. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. You should know such things. 106. If your girlfriend asks to set your friend up with her ugly, whiny, loser friend of hers, you must grant permission, but only if you have ample time to warn your friend to prepare his excuse about joining the priesthood. 107. When picking players for sports teams it is permissible to skip over your buddy in favor of better athletes- as long as you don't let him be the last sorry son of a bitch standing on the sideline. 108. Never join your girlfriend in ragging on a buddy of yours... unless she is withholding sex, pending your response. 109. You can not rat out a friend who show's up to work or class with a massive hangover, however you may: hide the aspirin, smear his chair with limburger cheese, turn the brightness on his computer way down so he thinks its broken, or have him paged every seven minutes. 110. The morning after you and a babe, who was formerly "just a friend", go at it, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to jump on her again before there is a discussion about what a big mistake it was. 111. If offered a Billion dollars to star in a filthy gay porno a man must accept or is he obviously gay. 112. If offered sex with multiple partners of the opposite sex who are both above a 5 on the 1-10 scale you must accept or be stripped of all man status you have obtained and you will still be in the negative of man hood. The only exception of this law is if you have STDs but only if you got them in this process in the first place. Ain't this just so sweet Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile Things to do on an Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it 10 Simple Rules For Dating My A Marine's Daughter Rule One: Rule Two: Rule Three: Rule Four: Rule Five: Rule Six: Rule Seven: Rule Eight: Rule Nine: Rule Ten: A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. for yoU When you were 1 year old, your mom celebrated the first birthday of you, When you were 2 years old, your mom started teaching you how to talk, When you were 3 years old, your mom brought you to the park, When you were 4 years old, your mom bought you some toys, When you were 5 years old, your mom bought you a story book and read it to you, When you were 6 years old, your mom sent you to the kindergarten, so that you can start making friends, When you were 7 years old, your mom made you a very nice lunch for the first day of school, When you were 8 years old, your mom handed you an ice cream cone, When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons, When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day from soccer to football to one birthday party after another, When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies, When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows, When you were 13 years old, she suggested a haircut that was becoming, When you were 14 years old, she paid for a month away at summer camp, When you were 15 years old, she came home from work, looking for a hug, When you were 16 years old, she taught you how to drive her car, When you were 17 years old, she was expecting an important call, When you were 18 years old, she cried at your high school graduation, When you were 19 years old, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. When you were 25 years old, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. When you were 50 years old, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. And then, one day, she quietly died. If you love your MOM & you thank her deeply, If you don't...then you obviously don't care if your mom dies. Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school 7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3 H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5! 1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7 N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3 Y0UR M1ND 1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY W17H 0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17, B3 PROUD! 0NLY C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15. PL3453 P4573 0N Y0UR PR0F1L3 1F U C4N R34D 7H15 AQUARIUS - The Slut PISCES - The Addict LEO - The Cool One CANCER - The Smart One. SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits ARIES- The Irresistible One TAURUS- The Aggressive One LIBRA - The Partner for Life CAPRICORN - The Cute One SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One VIRGO- The Promiscuous One GEMINI - The Liar Look back there But please try not to stare Do you see the bubbly girl The one with no curls How do you think she feels Would it startle you if I told you she doesn't eat any meals What if I told you she has a knife Would you believe me if I told you she loathes her life What if I told you she thinks her dad hates her Would you still think so little of her What if I told you she feels like she's drowning Would you believe me if I told you inside she is frowning What if I told you she has a rope How do you think she is going to cope She doesn't just have a rope, but also a gun All because she thinks she isn't fun I know you know her, everyone does But you need to talk to her cause What if I told you tonight she would use the rope and gun And turn into an angel and fly towards the sun I hope you'd help her and become her friend And make her stop trying to pretend Because what if I told you she's reaching for her gun And that you can save her if you run This is an original poem by me. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're against bullying and child neglect and abuse! ~FanGirlFreak16 Rape is not a joke, it is a serious issue. But there are people that actually try to make this issue seem funny on this site with it happening during randomness, never take rape as a joke, it isn't funny if you write about it in that way, it's just disgusting that someone would even think of using it for humor. Rape is just as big a problem as suicide and self harm. If you agree with this, place your name next to mine when copying and pasting this to your bio. - Written by Red the Pokemon Master. Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts: 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office. 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick. 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar. 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination. 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms." 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month." 10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand. 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force." 13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work." 14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it. 16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day." 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways. 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor. 21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort. 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy. 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full." 25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell. 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate. 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees." 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. 30) I will not go to class skyclad. 31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core." 32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. 33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion. 35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends." 36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends." 37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine. 39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts. 40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!" 41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck. 42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus. 43) I will not lick Trevor. 44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey." 45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously. 47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice. 50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God. If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!Paste this to your profile if you can read this! 16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens. 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME, PICK ME!" 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!" Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me. " "I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister." Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' "OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message. 2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart 95 percent of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas brothers and Justin Bieber on top of a skyscraper about to jump off. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're the 5 percent that would shout, "Jump assholes!" Rules Men Wish Women Knew! 1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2. It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: · When a heroic dog dies to save its master. · The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. · After wrecking your boss’ car. · One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”. 3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. 4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her. 6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. 7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. 8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who is playing. 10. You may be flatulent in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend. 11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free. 12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts. 13. Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked. 14. Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. 15. If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything. 16. Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. 17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy. 19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer. 20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response. 21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: · Yeah, Baby, Push it! · C’mon, give me one more! Harder! · Another set and we can hit the showers! 22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing (i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.) For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. 23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. 24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs. 25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. 26. Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue. 27. The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story. 28. There is no reason for guys to watch ice skating or men’s gymnastics. Ever. Set 2: 1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up put it down. 2. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. 3. Don’t make us guess. 4. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. 5. Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with it. 6. He’s never thinking about “The Relationship.” 7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just like every other cat. 8. Dogs are better than cats. 9. Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 10. Shopping is not everybody’s idea of a good time. 11. Anything you wear is fine. Really. 12. You have enough clothes. 13. You have too many shoes. 14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect us to like it. 15. Your brother is an idiot. 16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work. 17. No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. 18. Share the bathroom 19. Share the closet. 20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers. 21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 22. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like sex in the morning. 23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 24. Check your oil. 25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 26. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we. 27. If you think you’re getting on the heavy side, you probably are. Don’t ask us. 28. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes. 29. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived. 30. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys. 31. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are? 32. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out. 33. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both. 34. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Takahane, Fire Thief, Sarah303,Thank you people who are nice, AfterDarkHours, GaaraCutie, Poetperson93, BleedingSaro, WolfChibi-Chan, Zuki Uchiha,Oodama Rasengan, The First Kitsukage, Kyuubi69Assassin, Skelo, yugiohfan163, PokeGabert 95 Percent of teens would have a breakdown if The Jonas Brothers were standing on the edge of a tower ready to jump, copy and paste if your a part of the 5 who would bring a lawn chair and popcorn!! If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you say it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz,sk8rchickmax, Sammi, Nukagirl, Wolfy the Ironic Ninja, F. D. Tamms CrazyGirl99, Scarlet Masquerade, theatrical-expressions, JoeMerl,invaderzimfannumber1, Azugirl-Melissa, justcallme-b-e-a-u-tiful, yugiohfan163, PokeGabert If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile. If you are really random put this on your profile. Wierd is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Wierd is the same as different,which is the same as unique, so wierd isgood. If you are wierd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile If you think the evil kids should stop being selfish with the Trix cereal and just give some to the stinking rabbit, copy this onto your profile If you have ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile If you have ever fallen backwards off of a chair, copy this onto your profile If you have read past 2 in the morning, copy this onto your profile If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. FAN FICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. 98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies. 93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile. If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever had a random spazz out moment in the middle of class or a quiet room, put this in your profile. If you hate flamers then join the A.A.F. (Authors Against Flamers) together we can destroy the bastards that have plagued us for years! If you support our cause copy and paste this on your profile and add your name. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Silvdra-Zero, Narutopwnass, Yugiohfan163, PokeGabert |
The Rebellion of Reborn by Evil-Mech Lord Apex reviews
Archie's Son by ImErenGayger reviews
Aeon by Lady Delphox reviews
Getting to Know You by Sand-wolf579 reviews
Natsu Dragneel the Dual Dragon Slayer by JTZ29 reviews
Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon by EssGee reviews
Off the Path by Sand-wolf579 reviews
Ash's Just Reward by The Warmongers of Simora reviews
Ash Ketchum's Adventures in Romance by Commardbattl reviews
Alola League Victors by Luckenhaft reviews
No Such Luck, No Such Love by SpartanXHunterX reviews
Obstruct by Need Your Venom reviews
Kinks In Kalos by Epsil0nCha0s reviews
Together We Are Stronger by railou reviews
The Torren Champion by Evil-Mech Lord Apex reviews
Sun: Ultra Paths (Pokemon Academy) (SYOC Open) by Hello 12 reviews
To Repair With Gold by LoreilDarksky00 reviews
he who does not forgive - REWRITE by brtnvm reviews
Hello12's Pokemon Academy (A Pokemon Academy Story) by Hello 12 reviews
Pokemon: Adventures in Hoenn by SolanaLeonhart reviews
Switch Up! A Tale of a Multi-Verse Ash Ketchum! by merry1995 reviews
The Blue Spirit by silentplayermc03 reviews
Preparations (A Pokemon Academy Story) (SYOC OPEN) by Hello 12 reviews
An Early Start by ExpertoftheBlade reviews
The Multi-verse Theory by LoreilDarksky00 reviews
A Devil Put Aside for Me by Crystal Rose of Pollux reviews
Contest of The Heart AU by Mistress1296 reviews
Uprising by K9oftheTwoStrings reviews
Pokemon sexy desires by minerclyph2112 reviews
Boy Meets Harem by LoudAutomata16 reviews
A Different First Impression by Luckenhaft reviews
On My Own by Basicgirl1234 reviews
Ash' Pokemon Dream Team (Mature) by Tenebrae Lycan reviews
Book 2: Pokémon: Ultra Twilight by Demonlord5000 reviews
Reset by The Dancing Cactus reviews
Trainer on Mt Silver by Blackwolfhunting reviews
A courageous heart by TheSilverboar reviews
Snowflake by HunterQwon reviews
A Tale of Two Kids by Oathkeeper0317 reviews
The Chase by 26Chapters reviews
Alola to our Saviour by The Poke Spectre reviews
As Arceus Decrees It by J the Stickybeak reviews
The End by Midna3452 reviews
Miracle by MiracleBreaker reviews
A Tale Of Susie (DeltarunexUndertale crossover) by Blackmask666 reviews
Gohan & Piccolo Save The Future! by ekrolo2 reviews
An Alternative Plan by lrhaboggle reviews
SSBU: The upcoming tournament by Super Saiyan Crash reviews
dripping like a saturated sunrise by Seito reviews
Tomfoolery at Freddy's by FrenzyFeline reviews
Defiance by flaming-couches reviews
Lost Together by Baroness-Faron reviews
Lumiose to Melemele: A Different Trial by akshat.jain.216 reviews
Vegito's Harem by GhostKaiser23 reviews
Alola to Alola by bladeknight1226 reviews
Ash 'Red' Ketchum by Omnipotent97 reviews
The Bond Phenomenon - Two Who Fight As One by Glon Morski reviews
Taming a Destroyer by dragontank1414 reviews
Chronicles of a Pokemon Master by StallionWolf reviews
Switched places by Galacticmoonwolf reviews
Shattered Prism, Lost Hope by Vulaan Kulaas reviews
Undertale AU: Hybridtale by FamousFox reviews
Shattered hearts, Healing souls by Foilninja reviews
The Power to Protect by Shinku no Yami reviews
Adventure Reloaded! by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
Hit the Books by WritingIsNextToGodliness23 reviews
A Chance To Be New by ProfessorWaluigi reviews
Memories Of The Rain by SSJ3 Kyuubi Gohan reviews
Concept Unification by PixieVenus reviews
PokePartners by Gamerkid134 reviews
Fun in the Sun, Moonlighting as a Teacher by Zero Gale reviews
Loving Return by Devumaru reviews
The betrayed saiyan by spartankiller117 reviews
Interlocking Bonds by Sapphiria reviews
We Can Live Peacefully, Right? by Pokemonfan67 reviews
Pokemon XYZ: The Shadow Project by marcus00721 reviews
Not Done Yet by SwordSaint11thDan reviews
Ash Ketchum in the world of the saiyans by animelover627 reviews
Flowey was alone by kjm126316 reviews
Leaving the Void by Bamimilyt6 reviews
Track and Feels by thomaspheasant reviews
Litten's Story by leafpaws reviews
From Ash's hurt, Come Ash's Love by ThaDerpyZoroark reviews
PTA Meetings by Caridwen Angetueur reviews
U N D E R S T A N D I N G by Our Anime Lives reviews
Let's start over by LittleMissMidnight reviews
PTA Meetings - Undertale by FlowerCovered reviews
Too Many Ashes by Crossoverpairinglover reviews
I did it for you by Kaelstrider reviews
A Blazing Bond by Catboy41 reviews
Gaster Route AU by nyacat39 reviews
Ghost of a Chance by Cloclo2388 reviews
Pokemon: Unleashed Power by The Man Known as nWore reviews
Some Leftover Embers by Aiko Isari reviews
Pokemon: Starting Off Right by KingFatMan25 reviews
Quiet by Evilkat23 reviews
FNaF: Springlocks' Heads by Circle of Justice reviews
Tourmaline by Phantomrose96 reviews
The Legend of Fairy Tail by HylianHero5465 reviews
My Big Dipper by CookiesOnFridays reviews
Just Desserts by PerkyGoth14 reviews
Love at East Unova Highschool by Plasma57 reviews
Ash and Pokemon sex story by ZERO MASON reviews
Ash's Life Journey by holmestalentsmaster reviews
Without Any Meaning by vsizzel reviews
It smelled like an Ed, at least by The Sage of Toads reviews
Growing Darkness reviews
Aether Agenda
The Aether-Noir Files
Aether-Ore File reviews
Changes reviews
Alter-Glitchtale season 1 reviews