If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't ignore it because the Bible says that If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my father and the glory of Heaven

What to Do During an Exam:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that)

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby. (LOVE that one!)

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

37 Things to do in an Elevator:
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Ask why you're crying

BEST FRIENDS: Already has the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his butt

FRIENDS: Bail you outta jail

BEST FRIENDS: sit next to you singing the jail song

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BEST FRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you in the process

FRIENDS: Will be embarassed when all goes silent and you start to sing the song that has been stuck in your head for days

BEST FRIENDS: Will be singing along with you

FRIENDS: Tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping with you

FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: kick your butt and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: Are there when you're sitting in a bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"

BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you

FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and say nice to meet you

BEST FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and scare the heck out of him by threatening to break every bone in his body if he hurts you

FRIENDS: Will tell you they know how you feel

BEST FRIENDS: Will sit down and cry with you

FRIENDS: Ask nicely for your stuff

BEST FRIENDS: Just shout "GIMME" it

FRIENDS: Wait to call you at a reasonable hour

BEST FRIENDS: Will call you at two in the morning

FRIENDS: Won't let you do stupid things

BEST FRIENDS: won't let you do stupid things 'alone'.

FRIENDS: Will take you to buy a pregnancy test

BEST FRIENDS: Will stand outside the bathroom screaming "NAME IT AFTER ME!"

FRIENDS: Will buy you lunch

BEST FRIENDS: Will eat yours

FRIENDS: will come and ask you to get a drink with her if some strange boy grabs you on the dance floor and you need an 'out'.

BEST FRIENDS: Will push herself in between you and the punk, wrap her arms around you, and say. "I'm sorry she's here with me, find your own date."

FRIENDS: Will not try anything that will embarass you while near your crush.

BEST FRIENDS: Will cackle evily and try to push you 'by accident' into him while standing next to him.

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this

BEST FRIENDS: Would repost this crud

FRIENDS: Fade

BEST FRIENDS: Are forever

What A Boyfriend Should Do:

When she walks away mad...

Follow her.

When she stares at your mouth...

Kiss her.

When she pushes you or hits you...

Grab her and don't let go.

When she's quiet...

Ask her what's wrong.

When she ignores you...

Give her you FULL attention.

When she pulls away...

Pull her back.

When you see her at her worse...

Tell her she is beautiful.

When you see her start to cry...

Just hold her and don't say a word.

When you see her walking...

Sneak up from behind and hug her waist from behind.

When she's scared...

Protect her.

When she lays her head on your shoulder...

Tilt her head up and kiss her.

When she steals your favourite hat...

Let her keep it and sleep with it for the night.

When she teases you...

Tease her back and make her laugh.

When she doesn't answer you for a long time...

Reassure her that everything is alright.

When she looks at you with doubt...

Back yourself up.

When she says that she likes you...

She really does...more than you understand.

When she grabs at your hand...

Hold hers and play with her fingers.

When she bumps into you..

Bump her back and make her laugh.

When she tells you a secret...

Keep it safe and untold.

When she looks into your eyes...

Don't look away until she does.

When she misses you...

She's hurting inside.

When you break her heart...

The pain NEVER really goes away.

When she says 'it's over'...

She still wants you to be hers.

When she re-posts this bulletin...

She WANTS you to read it.

Stay on the phone with her...

Even if she's not saying anything.

When she's mad...

Hug her tight and don't let go.

When she says she okay...

Don't believe her and talk about it because 10 years from know...

she will remember you.

Call her at 12:00...

Just to tell her you love her.

Call her before you sleep and...

after you wake up.

Treat her like...

she's ALL that matters to you.

Tease her...

and let her tease you back.

Stay up with her All night when she's sick and watch her favourite TV show or Movie with her...

even if you think it is stupid.

Give her the world...

and let her wear your clothes.

When she's bored and alone...

Hang out with her.

Let her know how important she is to you...

and kiss her in the pouring rain.

When she runs up to you crying the first thing you say is...

"Who's butt am I kicking, babe?"

I absolutely love that! Copy and Paste this on your profile if you want a boyfriend like that!

I am:

I am the girl that doesn't trust people easily.

I am the girl that breaks down into a song or dance when I feel like it.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

I am the girl that speaks her mind whether you like it or not.

I am the girl who talks to herself when she feels alone.

BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird or a geek for being a grade and a half ahead(it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and dancing and drama and doing all the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with book characters, who can express herself better with words on a page than with spoken words or with actions, and knows the importance of the little things

I'm someone people like to talk shit to because they think I'm weak.

I'm neither popular nor unpopular, and I don't care about being either.

I'm different and I like it. I like who I am and don't judge myself too harshly.

I am the kind of girl who talks to herself when there is no one else to talk to, narrating her life or making up a story as she walks alone down the street.

I am the kind of girl who would rather read than do athletics any day of the week.

I am the girl who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy.

I am the girl who writes to escape.

I am the girl who sticks to her values no matter how uncool it makes her.

I am the girl who won't give in.

I am the girl who won't give up.

I'm the girl who isn't dancing, just jumping up and down screaming the lyrics.

I'm the girl who every knows her name, for good or for bad. I'm the girl that if you call my friend a brat I WILL say something.

I'm the girl that will slap you if you push me.

I'm the girl that speaks my mind, whether you like it or not.

I'm the girl that you don't wanna be on her bad side.

I'm the girl that doesn't take crap from anyone.

BUT I'm also the girl that carries a book in her purse.

(='.'=) This is Bunny.

(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life

What you call being "too lazy to review" is what we call "a flame to the pages" as the writers. That one minute or two that you felt "too lazy" to review is another minute of creeping discouragement that all writers feel as they begin to think...

"Why am I even here…?"

"What's even the point of continuing?"

"My skills must be terrible…no one cares for my story…"

"I'll never be a good writer...I quit."

These are only a few thoughts that go through every writer's head- that go through MY head- when we put out a chapter / story with all our heart and soul within, and we sit there…and sit…and wait…and not a single person says even a word.

If you're not a writer, you have NO IDEA how much that hurts…

If you ARE a writer, then I'm sure you know just how great it feels when someone is kind enough to leave a heartwarming and encouraging review, and you read it, smiling while thinking…"Wow…I did it…"

So, why not give fellow writers the same luxury here?

Too many times I've seen epic and utterly beautiful works of literary art fall to pieces before finally being abandoned due to the terrible discouragement that the lack of reviews can cause.

Sometimes, it is so severe that the very writer himself decides to quit, denying the world his skills of writing that I'm it would have deeply enjoyed.

So…

Just one minute, that's all it takes. Just a few gentle taps of the fingers on your keyboard, a few seconds or so of your time, and your words can SAVE a writer from a dark demise.

Do me a favour Go find a story, ANY story, anywhere here on Fanfic,net, and see if you can help it. If it has very little / no reviews at all, just check it out, and say whatever comes to mind.

And enjoy the thought in mind that you could have just SAVED that story, with just a few taps of the keyboard…

If you agree with what I have said then please copy and paste any part of this story you wish onto your profile.
Modify it in any way you see fit; there is no need to use my exact words. You make it say what you want it to say.

Why do Boys Fall in Love with Girls (This was written by a guy) Don't break this; it's so sweet! :) 1. They will always smell good even if it's just shampoo. 2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder. 3. How cute they look when they sleep. 4. The ease in which they fit into our arms . 5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world. 6. How cute they are when they eat. 7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worthwhile. 8. Because they are always warm even when it’s minus 30 outside. 9. The way they look good no matter what they wear. 10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful girl on this earth. 11. How cute they are when they argue. 12. The way her hand always finds yours. 13. The way they smile. 14. The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after you just had a big fight. 15. The way she says "let’s not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later... 16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight. 17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you". 18. Actually...Just the way they kiss you... 19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry. 20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly. 21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt. 22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don't admit it). 23. The way they say "I miss you". 24. The way you miss them. 25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore... 26. The way that she looks almost always happy around you Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitably consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt. This chain started in 2002. It is a love chain letter. In an hour you are supposed to repost this. Now here comes the fun part. You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or "Will you go out with me?" NO JOKE!! NOW THE CONSEQUENCES!! The consequences are: If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future relationships. If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!! Congratulations!! You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain letter on the internet. Once you read this letter, you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour) post it with the title "why do boys fall in love with girls?" After you send it, make a wish and it will come TRUE

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom,rainbowstrike, iKate, fangalicous08, FangsTrashcanOfDoom, LukexThaliaxFan23, charn14, ral7224, stuckbeingrachel, peddieshipper

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For No reason

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
Copy and Paste this To Make People who read this Smile

Don't ever frown, you never know who's falling in love with your smile.

We must never, ever be mean to stupid people. If we are, they might go away. Then who would we laugh at?

What girls don't seem to know: when a guy acts like he hates you, chances are, he likes you.
What guys don't seem to know: when a girl acts like she hates you, chances are, she hates you.

Don't mess with me, I've got a stick.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people and their questions.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of the them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. I think its Collin.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back. ;)

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's. :(

A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

EVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? (Actually, it's because they just refuse to eat it)

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children.

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

6 Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading #1, will try it.

3. And discover that #1 is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot..

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face

Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the tiune God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost then copy and paste this in your profile

If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says... "If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."

RACISM IS WRONG!

Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message.

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy ayway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

In the end it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest have to test the electric fence for themselves

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't!

I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!

If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, then why do they abduct the dumbest people on earth ??

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

"I told my psychologist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." Anonymous

Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge

real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long

The world is cruel... get used to it!

Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.

Would you like a cookie? So would I.

Have you ever tried having a thumb war with yourself?? I have. If you have just tried having a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this on your profile.

Take a chance and I never let go. Risk everything! . . Lose nothing. Don't worry about anything any more, Cry in the rain and SPEAK UP loud, Say what you want and love who you want, Be yourself and NOT who people want to see, never blame anyone if you get hurt . . . Because you took the risk and you decided who was worth the while!

Anonymous