If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, and you do it anyways, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you listen to music when reading fan fiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tried to lick your elbow, knowing that it is physically impossible, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile (Every single one of them...)

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

If you think tat those god-for-saken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you believe in the Sufferer, follow his teachings, and wish for a just, fair and equal society across all of Alternia, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, paste it onto your profile, and add your name to the list: AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Takahane, Fire Thief, Sarah303, Thank you people who are nice, AfterDarkHours, OneDreamADay, A Lone Black Rose, StalkinYourMom, SamuraiPixie13, Selena Estella, CreatorOfCreations,

Funny/Sarcastic Stuff (the ones in bold are my favorites!)

Today I am going on a journey, to the smallest, narrowest nooks and crannies of my desk, in search of what some might call 'a table'. Pray for me, friends, for I may not return alive...

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends. If it's not one of them, it's you.

Come join the dark side... we have cookies!!

Actually, I can hear you, so shut the Hell up!

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I am walking that line. (ultimate favorite)

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did: in his sleep. Not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman."

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.”

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

Don't think of your self as an ugly human -- think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

"We live in a day and age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

Life is just one damned thing after another.

Life is an STD with 100% mortality rate.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?!

Music is like candy-- you throw away the rappers.

'Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.'

Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe.

If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips...

The only reason I'm still here is because Heaven wouldn't have me and Hell was afraid I'd take over.

A good girl is just a bad girl who's never gotten caught.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart. But best friends only poke each other with straws.

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.

The cops never find it as funny as you do.

Taste the rainbow - Eat CRAYONS!

There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.

7/5 people don't understand fractions.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, 'where the heck is the ceiling?!'

The next night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, 'I'm really too old for those glow in the dark stickers...'

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I'm not a complete idiot - some parts are missing...

I see regular people! Run for your lives!

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

A secret admirer is only a stalker with stationary.

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

You say psycho like it's a bad thing...

Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

He Said: "I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it." She Said: "Well, you wear pants don't you?"

Boys are like Slinkies: basically useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs.

I find 'good morning' a contradiction of terms.

A news reader is someone who says 'good morning' and then tells you why it isn't.

Hell issued a restraining order on me... oh, the fun to be had!

Before you say you're perfect, try walking on water.

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment...?

Oops! Did my sarcasm hurt your feelings?

'One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead men got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise and came and shot the two dead boys, and if you don't believe this lie that's true, ask the blind man-- she saw it too.'

One day we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

One day we will look back on this, swerve, and narrowly avoid hitting a parked car.

I intend to live forever... so far so good!

I don't intend to live forever by making history. I intend to live forever by just not dying.

Embrace the inner rebel - don't sit up straight.

I'm not weird... just plotting...

If love is war, then I'm a pacifist.

I'm a paranoid schizophrenic...or so THEY say...

I don't obsess! I think intensely!

When you're sad, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it!!

I used to have superpowers, but my psychiatrist took them away.

I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. AS THEY SHOULD BE.

Smile! It makes people wonder what you're up to!

Whoever said anything is possible never tried to slam a soft-close draw...

Laughter is infectious and I have a weak immune system.

Life isn't passing me by... it's trying to run me over!

Shit happens. But mostly to me, so don't worry.

Whenever I'm feeling a little down, I read through my Fanfiction profile. Instant LOLz.

Your eight names

1. Your real name.
Natalie

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle.)

Natizzle (waht.)

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color and favorite animal)

Red Dragon

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME:( your middle name and street you live on/or Neighborhood if it's a number)

Morgan Golf. hm. could be better but not bad

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 Letters of your first name)
Trona. (yes)

6. YOUR SUPERHERO/CRIMINAL NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink).

Indigo Faygo (LOL)

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (parents middle names).

Suzanne Randal. not bad not bad

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets).

Black Saw. nicccce

LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% chance you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shin is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. (I have proven this.)

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of Jury duty.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense became deeply depressed as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Either these are the workings of a freak with no social life whatsoever who locked himself up in his room all night, or he's just a scrabble wizard. Anyhow, they are EPIC.

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

My Mother Taught Me:

1. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it!"

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"Look, I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

18. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.

"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more!"

25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.

"If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay."

26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

I love my mother!

A teacher writes a sentence on the board:
'A woman without her man is nothing.'
The teacher asks the class to punctuate it. All the boys write:
'A woman, without her man, is nothing.'
And all the girls write:
'A woman: without her, man is nothing.'
Punctuation is a powerful thing.

In a survey, people from different age groups are given a sentence to punctuate:
'Remember kids spelling is important'
All of the older participants write: 'Remember: kid's spelling is important.'
All of the younger participants write: Remember, kids: spelling is 'important'.
Once again we prove that punctuation is a powerful thing.

"Let's eat Grandpa!!"
"Let's eat, Grandpa!!"
Punctuation saves lives.

this is this cat
this is is cat
this is how cat
this is to cat
this is keep cat
this is a cat
this is loser cat
this is busy cat
this is for cat
this is forty cat
this is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.

Actual Product Labels that Scare Me

On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (oh no! but that's the only time I have to work on my hair...!)

On another hairdryer: "Do not use while in the shower." (yeah...this one makes sense!)

On a bag of Fritos! "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (the shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be...how...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (you fail.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought...?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (Ah... we could reduce the rate of construction accidents by so much if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts...)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One should hope!)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to outer space?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (no shit Sherlock.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere...?)

On a packet of smoked salmon: "Warning: May contain fish." (well, no freaking duh.)

20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

8 Dont use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're 'not in the mood'.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . . copy and paste this onto your profile!!