There's no smoke without fire.

Welcome to my Lair

Sneak.

That is my name. How surprising. I am sure you are terribly shocked.

I'm not a particular fan of talking about myself, but I also loathe answering questions. Everything that is on this profile is all you will ever need to know about me. It will also be all you ever will know about me.

Please, dry your eyes. The pain will lessen over time.

Good English is a passion of mine, and I believe those that can use it well are intelligent. Of course, intelligent people can still be incredibly stupid, and I view a majority of those I encounter to be morons. I like to review stories on occasion, although I find I have increasingly less time to spend on such endevours as of late. I tend to talk in a formal manner simply because I prefer it this way. It obscures all personality except what I wish to be revealed, which is very little. My goodness, how cryptic of me.

I imagine you're rolling your eyes at my dramatic introduction right now. I laugh at it.

Perhaps you stumbled across this profile because you have received a review from me that wasn't to your tastes. I didn't stroke your ego or tell you that you were a brilliant writer. I leave the good reviews to those interested in helping writers that still have a hope at improving and becoming somewhat decent. I am here to step on your dreams and crush them beneath the heel of my boot. Even if I give you tips on how to fix your story, bear in mind that I only reviewed it because I thought there was enough wrong with it in the first place. That's right! The terrible outweighed the good, and I want you to walk away in knowledge that you are not God's gift to literature.

Has my review offended you? Upset you? Reduced you to tears?

Good. I hope it hurts like broken glass driven into your heart. You deserve nothing else.

But enough about my reviews; I said I would talk about myself, and so I shall. I am vicious in my manner towards everyone and take joy in the suffering of others. However, this is a luxury I limit. One can become bored of too much of a good thing and I don't wish to deny myself such a pleasure. For the most part, I will be civil with you if the mood takes me. Present me an opportunity, though, and I will jump on it. Arguing bores me, but that doesn't mean I will let my voice go unheard. I quite like leaving my opinion with those I encounter and then strolling away in the wake of chaos.

Until recently, I used to visit forums to view the wildlife of Fanfiction with morbid curiosity. I wasn't there to make friends with the petty creatures that inhabit such pits and I very nearly stayed true to that. I found nearly all of them to be self important and very eager to threaten people with bans.

I never have, and never will be, intimidated with the prospect of a ban. To be barred from your silly chat arena affects my life about as much as a bucket of water affects a pyroclastic flow. You are nothing to me and intimidation will never work.

However, I stumbled across a curious creature called Lambent Penumbra. Pen and I had an immediate understanding; a mutual dislike of the locals of this site and a feeling of satisfaction from tormenting them. I made a friend that day; someone I consider to be my equal. Pen crafted a home for us both to dwell in. Go there, if you wish, but don't expect a warm welcome.

http://forum.fanfiction.net/forum/The_Adventures_of_Sneakscape_and_Penumbra/98261/

Finally, I introduce you to the cat in the avatar, Quartz. I don't often claim emotional attachment to anyone one or anything, but this kitty is dear to me. So dear, in fact, I torched her and watched her burn. Now she is free, drifting with me in ash and smoke forevermore.

Oh my.