Hey everybody! So, a little about me:

Gender: Female

Age: Still alive

Home: Planet Earth

Name: John Jacob Jingle Heimer Smith (his name is my name, too)

Single, for now.

I like volleyball, reading, running, reading, listening to music, and more reading.

I have absolutely no idea what I want to be when I get out of highschool. Preferably a college student. . .

My Favorite Books:

Maximum Ride series

Harry Potter series

Inkheart series (someone said they were a kiddies book. They're actually pretty awesome. You get addicted)

The Princess Bride

Stargirl

Love, Stargirl

Jacob Have I Loved

Wuthering Heights

Sherlock Holmes stories

To Kill A Mockingbird

The Lovely Bones (I read it before they even started talking about a movie, so ha)

Define "Normal"

Memoirs Of A Teenage Amnesiac

Peter And The Starcatchers

Skeleton Creek

Ghost In The Machine

Raven

Hoot

Alex Cross series

Confessions Of An Ugly Stepsister

Because of Winn-Dixie

The Devil And His Boy

Sunday's At Tiffany's

Bad Girls Don't Die

Fairest

Ever

My Man Michael

Tuesday With Morrie

For One More Day

Copy and Paste (it's addicting)

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later. If you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good.

I got this from St. Fang of Boredom, who got it from Randomitis Sufferer, who got it from BellaRide28. This is so true:

One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me.

Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies…

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Rest In Peace, my old friend.

Quotes

"Yes," I kept a straight face. "A hamster called. He wants his house back." Max, TFW

"Feeding a crowd?" the woman behind the counter asked.
"Yes, ma'am," Fang said sweetly.
Yeah, him and all his split personalities, I thought.
Max, TAE

"Me? Lawyer fucked me. Ain'tcha heard? Everyone's innocent in here." Andy Dufresne, Shawshank Redemption

"So what happens now?" said the man in black.
"We face eachother as God intended," Fezzik said. "No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone."
"So, you mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill eachother like civilized people?" Fezzik and the man in black, Princess Bride

"Well, you haven't once said you loved me."
"That's all you need? Easy. I love you. Okay? Want it louder? I LOVE YOU. Spell it out, should I? I ell-oh-vee why-oh-you. Want it backward? You love I."
"You're teasing me now, aren't you?"
"A little, maybe;-" Buttercup and Westley, Princess Bride

"Anybody want a peanut?" Fezzik the Giant, Princess Bride

"You seem a decent fellow," said Inigo. "I hate to kill you."
"You seem a decent fellow," said the man in black. "I hate to die." Inigo and the man in black, Princess Bride

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die." Inigo, Princess Bride. Imagine a person saying that in the most awesome Spanish accent ever, and you're about half-way to how bad ass that quote is.

"I'm a MITSUBISHI!!" My sister Brittany. She was like, loopy from lack of sleep.

"The human body needs at least four hours of sleep to properly function."
"And all this time I just thought you were high." Me and Brittany, a minute after that last quote.

"Wait! I have to turn on my seatbelt!" Once again, my sister Brittany. And this was also within the same day of the last two quotes, within the same hour, most likely within the same 30 minutes.

"Look, the squirrels are talking!" Now, this was on a completely different day. We were in the car and it was that weird silence where everyone had stopped talking at once, and then she dropped that little bomb. Me and my mom were like WTF?

"Britt, I'm hungry. We got any goldfish?"
"Nah, we got too many cats for that."
"What??" Me and my sister again. I have the weirdest conversations with her. . .