Once upon a time, I was just a humble un-ranked player in the video game known as CS:GO. I knew I was bad, but I knew I could get better; So I practiced as hard as my little Asian heart could muster. Along this hard journey, I faced many trials and tribulations, but I prevailed, and made it all the way to where I am today: Silver II. But there was a deep, mysterious force lingering near, always watching, always learning, and one day I met this little cunt. His name was Marcos, and when I first met him, he reminded me of myself. 0 kills and 567876.6 deaths. God, those were the days. But one day I decided to help the Mongolian jizz candle, and carry him in a competitive match. Little did I know, all the sneaky cunt wanted, was to dominate me and prick my bum. During this game, I thought, "Oh this guy is shit, like really shit. Lemme help a nigga get the beef curtains." So I turned my back towards him and fired at the enemies. But almost immediately, I felt a strange sensation in my back-genital region, so I slammed my fist into whatever was behind me, only to find out it was Marcos, with his mighty, sweaty cock. So I said, "Hey man, what are you doing? I don't like jalapeno." He slowly ascended, in almost a godlike fashion, striking fear and sexual excitement into my heart. As he levitated upward, his body armor started to fall off, piece by piece, revealing his true form. "You're messing with the wrong midget boy pal." He said in a startling manor. At first I couldn't believe my eyes. I blinked four or five times, and bit my cock to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Marcos had become a silver IV. "Holy shit fam, your power levels have gone off the chart, gimme rank-" I said, but before I could finish my sentence, he had ripped my butt-pussy. My bunghole has stretched four square miles since that day. Long story short, I'm killing myself.