FluerDeCerise101
 ...yo people or strangers across the world..I'm as you all know 'FluerDeCerise101' and i am not going to tell you my real name sickos...no offense to those people that are cursing at me right for insulting their now probably damaged egos ...well i like a lot of stuff including all the colors that are existing except that loathful color ...pink...that dreaded menace doesn't even deserve t--sorry ,let's continue uh... my family ...nuts...my cousins...barbarians ...monkeys...you know the usual...that's about it i think... xoxoxoxoxoxxooxoxoxox If you hate Karin from NARUTO copy and paste this karin bashings and add you name on the bottoms. Karin is so fat, not even Naruto can believe it! -~- Here you go girls! the replys for boys with cheezy lines! -~- Man: Where have you been all my life? Friends (Consider me as a 'best friend' because i would do that if we just met XD) FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxooxox Jokes: 1. Teddy Bear So there's this 5 year old girl whose parent are leaving. The mom told her, "Okay, don't open the door for anybody!" Then they left 2 hours later someone knocks on the door and she opens it. Its a guy, the guy asks the little girl, "Are your parents home?" She replies, "No," Then the guy asks the little girl of he could come in. Then the little girl says, "Mommy said no one is allowed in the house!" The guy then says, "I'll give you 5,000 pieces of bubble gum!" She says okay and he comes in. Then the guy asks, "Can I go in your room?" The little girl replies, "Mommy said no one is allowed in my room," then the guy says, "I'll give you 10,000 pieces of bubble gum!" She says okay and then they go to her room. The guy then asks if he can lay in her bed. The little girl replies, "Mommy said no one is allowed in my bed," Then the guy says, "I'll give you 15,000 pieces of bubble gum!" She says okay and then the guy takes off all his clothes. The little girl points to his private parts and says, "Hey, what's that?!" The guy says, "Oh, that's my 'teddy bear'," The guy lays in the bed and asks the little girl to lay with him. She says okay, because she is 5 and is curious, so she lays with him. The guy falls asleep and the next day he wakes up in the hospital. He sees the little girl and asks, "What happened?" The little girl replies, "Well...I got curious and played with your teddy bear, but it spit at me and I got mad, so I cut it's head off," 2. Sandwiches So there was this little boy and a older brother. They both share a bunk bed, the older brother on top and the little brother on bottom. So the older brother brings his girlfriend over and they're gonna do "it". So all through the night, 'Lettuce' and 'Tomato'. Lettuce to go faster and Tomato to go harder (If you understand.) Then the little boy wakes up, feeling something on his face. He hears, 'Lettuce' and 'Tomato' so he says, "Hey! Stop making sandwiches up there! Your spilling Mayonnaise all over me! 3. How To Get a Bicycle After school, this little boy goes up to his father and says, "Daddy, daddy! I had sex with my teacher," The dad thinking it was a girl teacher says, "Okay, I'll by you a bike," So the dad buys his son the bike, during the walk home, the kid is pushing the bike all the way home. The dad seeing this asks "Why aren't you riding your bike?" The little boy replies, "My butt still hurts," These jokes came from xSushiixCooki3zx She's funny! Check her out. =~) ~You know you live in 2007 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did A funny thing I found about the best word ever: Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word "fuck." Out of all the English words that begin with the letter "F", fuck is the only word that is referred to as the "F" word. It's the one magical word that just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as most words in the English language, is derived from German, the word 'flicken' which means "to strike." In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. As a transital verb for instance, "John fucked Shirley." As an intransitive verb, "Shirley fucks." Its meaning's not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such as "John's doing all the fucking work." As part of an adverb, "Shirley talks too fucking much." As an adverb enhancing an adjective, "Shirley is fucking beautiful." As a noun, "I don't give a fuck." As part of a word, "Abso-fucking-lutely" or "In-fucking-credible." And, as almost every word in a sentence, "Fuck the fucking fuckers." As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of "fuck", as in these examples describing situations such as: Fraud: "I got fucked at the used car lot." Dismay: "Aw fuck it." Trouble: "I guess I'm really fucked now." Aggression: "Don't fuck with me buddy." Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking question!" Inquiry: "Who the fuck was that?" Dissatisfaction: "I don't like what the fuck is going on here." In Confidence: "He's a fuck off." Dismissal: "Why don't you go outside and play 'hide and go fuck yourself?'" I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly, "Fuck you!" Fuck actually used to be an acronym. Fornicating Under the Consent of the King. Way back then when people got married, they had to get this little piece of paper to nail to their doors to validate their marriage so they could have sex. - From LizzieStuck91 The End! ╔═╦╦══╦══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╗ LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! "REMEMBER WHEN" REMEMBER WHEN .. Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now Some crap that would never happen on Naruto: Naruto will stop saying believe it. Hinata will stop blushing so much around Naruto. Ino will stop being a bitch. Tsunade will admit her boobs are fake. Kakashi will tell everyone about his life. Orochimaru will stop being gay. Kabuto will stop being his bitch/whore. Sasuke will come back to Sakura. Karin and Sasuke will get together. Karin will stop being a bitch. Suigetsu will give up water forever. Itachi will leave the Akatsuki and he and Sasuke will be friends again. Kisame will admit he's a homosexual. Minato Namikaze will come back to life and everything will be okay. Deidara will admit he's really a woman. Sasori and Sakura will get together. Gaara will have kids. Orochimaru will come out and admit he is really Michael Jackson. Tobi is in his right state of mind. Sasuke will stop being such an asshole. Asuma will stop smoking. Tsunade will give up gambling. And the Akatsuki will disappear, Karin will die by the hands of Sasuke, Sasuke will admit his love for Sakura, and Kakashi and Anko will get together. If you agree, copy this into your profile. If your a Yaoi fangirl and proud of it then copy this to your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. 92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Repost this if you are one of the 8 percent who would be laughing your ass off. 98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile. If you love yaoi/shounen-ai, copy this into your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. X-E-M-N-A-S = M-A-N-S-E-X if you also noticed this and laughed very loudly when you did, or you just think it's hilariously funny (and ironic) copy and paste this on your profile and add your name to the list: darkalbino, KinkyK and JazzyJ,Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms16, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx, uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan, Mai-'-Kawaii-Ai, Ebil Chameleon you.broke.a.promise., XweaponsXmistressX, Sakura-Sasuke-love-em', SASUXSAKUFREAK, PinkBlossem, Shadow Princess, CherryBlossoms, Hinatakura, Sakuranata, uchihasakura285, KuroHime27, fumiko-chan, Dangerously Emerald ._.s_s _ If you're a girl and you've ever Controversial Issues: 1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning. This is this cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbass cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on. God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft. MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men! I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster. To catch me you got to be fast, to find me you got to be smart, but to be me? Damn you must be kidding... Homophobia and You: They're people too! Stop the hate and spread the love! I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB: If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Pink Crescent Moon, Miyako-hime, XSakuraHarunoX, I'm in love with a Uchiha23, Angel of Cherry Blossoms, Cherrilatina, CherryBlossoms16, Rayray, Sakura the lover, Sasusakufan2357, Lina Mistress of Elements, xnarutoxrocksx, uchihasakurah26, Nokas-Kokas, NorthernLights25, KunoichruleALL, kawaiiblossom94, dera-chan, Mai-'-Kawaii-Ai, Ebil Chameleon you.broke.a.promise., XweaponsXmistressX, Sakura-Sasuke-love-em', SASUXSAKUFREAK, PinkBlossem, Shadow Princess, CherryBlossoms, Hinatakura, Sakuranata, uchihasakura285, KuroHime27, fumiko-chan, Dangerously Emerald, KinkyK and JazzyJ Sing in the tune of 'I love you, you love me' I love you You love me Let's go out and KILL KARIN With a 'death bomb' Bang! Boom! KARIN'S ON THE FLOOR No more stupid ugly WHORE!! You Know You're a Naruto Addict When... You eat Ramen all day every day. You've watched every episode at least 5 times - in English and Japanese. You watched the first 135 episodes of Naruto in less than 5 days. You buy a 200 pair of Sharingan contacts. You say "Dattebayo" or "Believe it!" after every sentence. You cover half of your face with a mask. You spend all your free time looking at Naruto web sites. You try to walk up trees using your feet only. You draw whiskers on your face. You spend the time to make and maintain a Naruto web site. _ You draw black circles around your eyes. You think about killing your entire family just to test your abilities. You always talk about Naruto, even if no one wants to hear about it. You run with your arms behind you. You have read and written Naruto fan fiction. ..And took it a step further by making a Naruto music video . You decide to call your morals your "ninja way". You thrust your arm forward with a stress ball in hand and yell "Rasengan!" You run with a snowball during a snowball fight, dodging everything in your path (or at least pretending to) and get to your target and thrust a "Snow Rasengan!" in their face. You feel like you can tap into yourself and demand bursts of energy during a race or fight. You yell out "Demon Windmill Shuriken" when your throwing a Frisbee. You dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree. You watch Naruto in Japanese, without English subtitles, even though you don't know a lick of Japanese. You address your tests as the Chunin Exams. You dye your hair red and carry a large bottle of of sand on your back. You call old men who stare at young women “Ero-sennin” or “Pervy sage” Your not Japanese and you say "Itadakimasu" before you eat Your dreams and daydreams consist of elements from the Naruto world. You have Naruto games for video game systems you don't even have. You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun. You tell people your dream is to be Hokage. You replace your backpack with a giant gourd. You feel like you have the Sharingan after you put in normal, everyday people contacts. ...And feel like you turn off your Sharingan after you take out the contacts. You paint the Nine-Tailed Fox seal on your stomach and claim you have a demon inside of you. Whenever your stomach rumbles, you think its Nine-Tailed Demon Fox trying to get out. You wear a jacket in the middle of the summer. You roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan!" You give people the 'nice-guy' pose. You jump into the room, kicking the door yelling "Dynamic Entry!" You have to put on a headband before a major competition. ...And want your competition to do it too so people acknowledge you all as equals. You do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu You trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector. You dress up like a girl and say it's your "Sexy Jutsu" (for guys only). You get a tattoo of a cursed seal on your neck. You don't care that your life has started to suck because "it's not cannon". You leave your town for two and a half years, come back, and pretend you're cooler and smarter then before. Any mention of Naruto makes you scream, laugh, applaud, or overall just become rather excited. You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun. You daydream about fighting the likes of Orochimaru, Itachi, or all of Akatsuki member. You try to make pairings between characters. You try to teach your dog 'Dynamic Marking'. You throw clay birds hoping they'll explode. You carry puppets with you. You call your group of friends a "three man cell". "Art is a Bang" Your theories in chemistry, psychology, or philosophy class always reference Naruto somehow. You wear a gigantic black cloak with red clouds on it. The only facts you know about cells are the ones you learned from Tsunade. You have gotten at least one friend addicted to Naruto. You imagine Mount Rushmore as the Hokage faces. You buy those stickers and stick them on your car, room, or face. You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets. Your on a Naruto forum and it's 4:00 AM. You spy on girls and call it research. You try to summon a frog in biology class. ...by biting your thumb, making hand signs, and thrusting your hand on the floor. You carry around frogs and call yourself "the Toad Sage". You claim to be an expert on the Japanese language, then get kicked out of Japan on your vacation because all you knew how to do was insult people. You refuse a date because your saving yourself for Sakura or Sasuke. You have a pet pig named Tonton. You draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a whole in a wall with it. You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter. You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next episode. You call your teachers sensei and your not Japanese. You add the suffixes -chan and -kun to the end of your friends names and your not Japanese. You follow somebody home and when they ask you why, you tell them it's part you mission. You use pick-up lines like “Wanna see my new jutsu?” or “Did you see my shadow clone pass by here earlier?” You dress up a piece of wood and tell people your practicing a substitution technique. You start making hand signs. ...And then run at somebody yelling "Chidori!" You try to sign a contract with blood. You hit people over the head if they say something stupid. You paste a piece of paper that says come come paradise on the front of adult books. You keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet. You try to do 200 push-ups and when your not able to, you'll do 200 squats, and when you can't do that you'll try to walk around your town 200 times on your hands. You try and compare people in real life to people in Naruto. You drive around with Naruto music blasting out of the car, hoping somebody will recognize them and think your cool. Your in a fight and rub some hot sauce in your eyes, yelling "Sharingan!" You take out a bottle of hot sauce and drink it, shouting "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu! (Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu)" You get mad when people call Naruto stupid or Gay You have many Naruto head bands with the same sign on it and you got it again cuz it's a different color or its metal You trust your life in websites like Saiyanisland or Uzumakiworld You wish they would put Naruto Shippuuden on Adult Swim You though Naruto was a little boring after Sasuke left You think Byakugan looks a little painfull You even write in Adult Fanfiction You think all of the Naruto boys look a lot hotter in Shippuuden You make up your own little Naruto world in your head You wish you had half of all Naruto products or all You considered becoming a doctor so you can be a 'medic-nin' You tried to punch a wall and wanted it to shatter You call your dog Tonton You took up cyber gambling because you're to young to really gamble You talk about the characters as if they're real people You can't stop staring at all the posters and pictures you have of them on your wall You have dreams about them You want tattoo that resemble their symbols You hate Naruto haters You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Naruto ...And also try to add to this list as well Naruto Quiz Thing! Label your own 1-12, then answer the questions. Don't forget to copy and paste this isnide your profile! 1. Itachi 2. Sasori 3. Deidara 4. Sakura 5. Sasuke 6. Hinata 7. Anko 8. Tenten 9. Temari 10. Naruto 11. Shikamaru 12. Neji 1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before? No that kinda sounds weird. Maybe interesting but weird 2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Maybe if she grew a chest 3)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? Perfect and a cute looking kid 4)Do you recall any fics about Nine? No, unless you count yuri 5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? Sasori and Hinata. That would be kinda cool 6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Five/Ten, I already love that couple too so no complaints. And i likt Five/Nine alittle bit... 7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? Knowing Anko is kinda a pervert, she might join in. That would be a interesting threesome... 8) Make up a summery of a Three/Ten fanfic. Sasori and Deidara are happly together as partners and secret lovers until they're assigned to capture Naruto and Deidara's feelings start to change...:SasoDei:. .:DeiNaru:. 9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? Sad to say, yes 10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic. Cursed by Marks 12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het? I wouldnt be surprised... 13) Does anyone you know writes or draw Eleven? Yes, JazzyJ 14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? I dont think so, but that would be hot..i think i wanna write that... =~) 15) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion? Hinata! or Sakura or Sasuke or maybe even Ramen 16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? Like a Boy by Ciara 17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be? Warning: Hyuugacest and Yaoi 18) What would be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? You wanna play with my puppet? 19) How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight? "How troublesome..." 20) How emo is Seven? Less emo, more like a maschiost or a sadist ／l、 This is Kitty. I got him from someone else. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help him gain world domination. SUPPORT THE KITTY! Here is a list of things to do at Wal-Mart: 22 Things to do at Wal-Mart 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!" 17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes. 18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you. 19. Throw things over one aisle into another one. 20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie. 21. Go to a random aisle and try to reach the top item. When someone comes and asks you if you need help, scream loudly "I can't reach my chexcereal!" and keep screaming it until they go away. 22. Stand in the middle of an aisle way and burst out into the Pepto Bismol song, dance moves included. If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer... FANFICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile. ONLY IN AMERICA... ...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance ...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks ...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front ...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8 ...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter ...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke ...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages ...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place ...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures Have you ever considered suing your brain for non-support? Who was so mean to put an "s" in the word "lisp" if people with lisps can't say the "s"? Doctors say TV is bad for us, but why is there a TV in every hospital room? If McDonald's loves to see you smile why do they screw up your order? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If con is the opposite of pro is Congress the opposite of progress? Donald Duck never wears pants, but why does he wraps a towel around his waist when he gets out of the shower? 10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL 10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks 9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies 8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly 7. Our magazines have horiscopes 6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around 5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm 4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month 3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have 2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket 1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing WHAT CELEBRITIES MIGHT SAY WHEN ASKED: "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?" "Why would he be on a road? I thought chickens lived in the ocean..." -Jessica Simpson "That (censor) fool of a chicken didn't (censor) know what the (censor) he was doin' crossin' a (censor) alley in (censor) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censor) morning" -Snoop Dogg "To cross or not to cross, that is the question" -Shakespeare "I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe he should not get to the other side" -John Kerry "Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads" -Charles Darwin "And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken 'Thou shall cross the road'. And the chicken did, and there was much rejoicing" -Moses "To go where no chicken has gone before" -Neil Armstrong "We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Its either with us or against us, there's no middle ground here" -George W. Bush "Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told" -Dr. Seuss "In my day, we didn't as why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us" -Grandpa "Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyways?'" -Jerry Seinfeld "The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road" -Richard Nixon "This was an unprevoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it" -Saddam Hussein "I missed one?" -Colonel Sanders A white man enters a bar and sees a black man sitting on a stool. The white man says, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK. When I grew up I was BLACK. When I'm sick I'm BLACK. When I go in the sun I'm BLACK. When I'm cold I'm BLACK. When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK. When you grow up you're WHITE. When you're sick, you're GREEN. When you go in the sun you turn RED. When you're cold you turn BLUE. And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism! Girls Teen Commandments 1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. 2. Thou shall not do drugs. 3. Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. 4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. 5. Thou shall not steal from your parents. 6. Thou shall not get into fights. 7. Thou shall not skip class. 8. Thou shall not wear revealing clothes in class. 9. Thou shall not think about having sex. 10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. You're a 90's kid if: You can finish this 'ice ice _' You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!" You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ." You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. You remember reading "Goosebumps" You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1. when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky. You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time. "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show. Captain Planet. He's a Hero. You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together. You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny. You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders" You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS. You remember when Yo-Yos were cool. You remember those Where's Waldo books. You remember eating Warheads. You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies. You remember Ring Pops. You remember drinking Surge, and Tang. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!" When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players. Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them. You played and/or collected "Pogs" You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere. . . . Furbies Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever! You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet. And Windows 95 was the best. You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles. Michael Jordan was a king. YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff! All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out. You collected those Beanie Babies. Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie Carebears Gak was the coolest stuff invented. Lambchop's song never ended. The old dollar bills. Silver dollars, which were cool to have. You remember a time before the WB. You collected all the Troll dolls You had to read Weekly Reader's in class. If you even know what an original walkman is. You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch. You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" . . . enough said You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!" You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that! You remember Highlight's magazine. You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground. Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . Before MIKE JONES . . . Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . . Before Spongebob . . . Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night. When light up sneakers were cool. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing. When we recorded stuff on VCRs. When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans. When gameboy was a brick. You did MASH to figure out your future When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket. Way back. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear. Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!! Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . . Did you know... kissing is healthy. bananas are good for period pain. it's good to cry. chicken soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. lying is actually unhealthy. you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you. 89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move. it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed. chocolate will make you feel better. most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing. a good friend never judges. a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any. boys aren't worth your tears. we all love surprises. Now... make a wish. Wish REALLY hard!! WISH WISH WISH WISH Your wish has just been recieved. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and... Your wish will be granted For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat. I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell. I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals. I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people. I don't follow my RELIGION, so I MUST not care about it. I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible. I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay. I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash. I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants. I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore... I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut. I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo. I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy. I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut. I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one". I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin. I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention. I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention. I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual. I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all. I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player. I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer. I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser. I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll. I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi. I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO. I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT. I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited. I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13. I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy. I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy. I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas. I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction. Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude. I'm STRAIGHT EDGE, so I must be violent. I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy. I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid. I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly. I'm a SKATER, so I MUST do weed and steal stuff. I'm a PUNK, so I must only wear black and date only other punks. I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7. I'm CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hate homosexuals. I'm CATHOLIC, so I MUST be mexican or spanish. I'm MIXED, so I must be screwed up. I'm MUSLIM, so I MUST be a terrorist. I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork. I'm BLACK, so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect. I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black. I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil. I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control. I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister. I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore. I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob. I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat. I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon. (I hate it. ick.) I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis. I'm an ASIAN GIRL, so I MUST have small boobs. I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo. I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy. I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too. I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't. I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social. I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy. I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch. My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs. I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser. I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, so I MUST be a whore myself. I'm TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse. I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist. I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual. I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak. I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. I WATCH PORN, so I MUST be perverted. I'm an ONLY CHILD, so I MUST be spoiled. I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak. I am AMERICAN, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant. I'm WELSH, so I MUST love sheep. I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend. I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare. I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid. I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER. I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth. I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future. I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE. I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser. I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so MUST be a tree hugging hippy. I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue. I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex. I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins. I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan. I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion. I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian. I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see. I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED. I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST. I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick. I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY. I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED. I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast. I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish. I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE. I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard. I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be stupid. I'm Australian, so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s. I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times. I’m GAY, so I’m after EVERY straight guy around. I don’t want a BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be Lesbian. I'm NOT CHRISTIAN, so I MUST just need converting. I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak. I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life. I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp. I like YURI, so I MUST be a lesbian. I don't wear MAKEUP, so I MUST look ugly. I'm in ORCHESTRA, so I MUST be a geek. I like SCREAMO music, so I MUST worship the devil. I play PIANO, so I MUST know how to play every instrument. I have GLASSES, so I MUST be smart. I'm QUIET, so I MUST be anti-social. I don't like CANDY that much, so I MUST not like sweets. I DRINK sometimes, so I MUST be hungover 24/7. I choose OBAMA, so I MUST be black. I'm (naturally or by accident) MEAN, so I MUST not have any feelings. I like INCEST, so I MUST be fucking my own sibling. I have SUSPENDERS, so I MUST be a loser. I like TECHNO and INDUSTRIAL, so I MUST go to raves. I LOVE the store HOT TOPIC, so I MUST be GOTH. I buy stuff from SPENCERS, so it must be a SEX TOYS. I'm SHY, so I MUST be insecure. I love JAPANESE BOYS, so I MUST hate AMERICAN BOYS. I'm BI, so I MUST not care what's in your pants. I like HENTAI, so I MUST be a perverted boy. I play the VIOLIN, so I MUST be ASIAN. I can wear a SIZE 0, so I MUST anorexic. I wanna be a DOCTOR, so I MUST love blood and guts. I have a BIG BUTT, so I MUST be BLACK. I have a great MEMORY, so I MUST be smart. I have STOLEN, so I MUST be a THEIF. I have a DEVIANTART, so I MUST want to get discovered. I hate MYSPACE, so I MUST have no life or friends. I like to CUSS a lot, so I MUST I have anger issues. I don't like SCHOOL, so I MUST be STUPID. I dress PREPPY, so I MUST be white. I shop at AMBERCOMBIE and FITCH, so I MUST be skinny and WHITE. I like to CLEAN, so I MUST be a neat freak. I like to BUY everything I see, so I MUST be a SHOPAHOLIC. I have a FACEBOOK, so I MUST think I'm GROWN. I wear short SHORTS, so I MUST be a whore. I wear TIGHT CLOTHES, so I MUST want to show off my BODY. I wear VANS, so I MUST be a SKATEBOARDER. I wear NIKES, so I MUST be BLACK. I wear CONVERSE, so I MUST be PUNK. I don't go to the MALL, so I MUST not have a LIFE. I don't like to EAT A LOT, so I MUST be BULIMIC. I love my own RACE, so I MUST dislike the others. I dislike my own RACE, so I MUST have ISSUES. I hate CHOCOLATE, so I MUST hate all sweets. I watch OLD SHOWS, so I MUST be stuck in the past. I like RAINBOWS, so I MUST be GAY. I'm OPEN MINED, so I MUST do everything. I hate RAIN, so I MUST not like water. I have BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be SHOWING THEM OFF. I think MILK is disgusting, so I MUST be lactose intolerant. I like going to RESTAURANTS, so I MUST be fat. I hate the subject of SEX, so I MUST be prude. I actually LAUGH during HORROR MOVIES, so I MUST have no a SYMPATHY. I like to BAKE and COOK, so I MUST be FAT. I think ANIME BOYS are better than REAL BOYS, so I MUST be CRAZY. I can't stand TWILIGHT, so I MUST be a loser. I love VAMPIRES, so I MUST be WEIRD. I have BRACES, so I MUST look like a nerd. I dislike my BODY, so I MUST have poor SELF IMAGE. I can't SWIM, so I MUST be BLACK. I want to be RICH, so I MUST be POOR. I love KID MOVIES, so I MUST be CHILDISH. I have or had multiple CRUSHES, so I MUST be a WHORE. I don't support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST be a HOMOPHOBE. I choose MCCAIN, so I MUST be WHITE. |
