twilightpony17
 Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs. best quote in history oh and soooooo true!!!!! hi my name is...well i don't think you need to know but i am a girl. -i don't write fan-fiction but i LOVE to read it! (mabey i will try 2 write one) -music l love: TAYLOR SWIFT!, lady gaga, katy perry, Beyonce, Justin bieber (kinda embarrassed about this one), Britney Spears, Carrie underwood -books i love: PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS, harry potter, i sortta like twilight, oh my gods, goddess boot camp, all American girl & ready or not -tv shows i love: GLEE, sonny with a chance, suite life on deck, wizards of waverly place, Americas next top model, victorious, i-carly -movies i love: harry potter 1, 2, & 6, new moon, percy jackson was ok, valentines day, pride and prejudice, & 2 many more -types of fan-fiction stories i enjoy reading: twilight (jacob and nessie), percy jackson (percy and annabeth), sonny with a chance (sonny and chad), glee (puck and rachel) -things that bother me:JONAS BROTHERS, sickness, miley cyrus, my brother, most of the boys at my school, and A LOT MORE -websites that i like (and you should try to): fanfiction.com, mylifeisavarage.com, dumblaws.com, rebubbled.com, howmanyofme.com, peopleofwalmart.com -hobbies: HORSE-BACK RIDING (i have a pony named daisy & she is the best pony EVER), reading, biking, swimming, watching TV, doing random things online A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you. A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in. A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore. A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial. A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you. A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story. A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries. A good friend will laugh along with you when you make fun of someone. A best friend sits there thinking of things to do to them while they're asleep. RANDOM THINGS have you ever realized that the word bed looks like a bed? fortnight is a rocking word even if you wear axe body spray your chances of being attacked by girls is about 1 in 1,000,000,000,009 when downloading things when you skip terms and conditions the computer never realizes that you have lied every day people win a million dollars, a new computer, a cell phone or any other cool things but then they close out of the pop-ups i have run with scissors, a knife, a whip, spurs... and guess what?! I LIVED!! If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuol't blveiee taht I cluod aulactly uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rsceearch at Cmabridge Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs, cpoy and ptsae tihs itno yuor pofir There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's strange. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. You say I'm not cool. But a synonym for cool is cold. An antonym for cold is hot. So you're saying I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. :D Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! "If Barbie is so popular, why do we buy her friends?" "Always forgive your enemies–nothing annoys them that much." "If you can't look at the bright side of life, polish the dull side." "I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours." "I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking that good either." "Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level." "On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key." If you've ever stopped mid-sentence saying "I don't swear that oft--" you swear too much If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws. Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe. If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate. If you would kill to have wings, post on profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile if you think some people must be on suger highs when they write their stories copy and paste this into your profile. Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet, they won't bother you for weeks. Some people are like a slinky..not really good for anything, but you can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. If someone says there are a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if someone say that there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it? Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? IPOD SHUFFLE Shattered glass: 1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Beautiful, dirty, rich 2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Beautiful soul 3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Change 4.WHAT IS 2+2? Breakeven 5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Whatcha say 6.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Need you now 7.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? U smile 8.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? stay beautiful 9.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? wannabe 10.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? 4 minutes 11.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Viva la vida 12. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Before he cheats 13.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Battlefield 14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Speechless 15. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? You’re not sorry 16. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? When you’re gone 17. HOW WILL YOU DIE? Goodbye 18. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET? Halo 19. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? Hey Stephen 20. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? Teenagers 21.WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? Fuck you 22. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? White horse 23.DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? It’s alright, it’s ok 24. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? Breathless 25. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? Fearless The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... If you have ever started randomly singing, put this in your profile If normal is werid and werid is normal, what am I? Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. I don't obsess! I think intensely. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door... Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have! I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?! Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. If you ever ran into a parked car, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. 30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you're on of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile. WEIRD QUIZ THING: 1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4. "He said: 'I will summon the greatest storm ever known.' " 2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch? my book shelf 3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? a clip of something on disney cause i was checking how long till glee! 4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 8:34 5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 8:31 6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? my air vents 7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? when i was getting out of my moms car after going to dinner 8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? the persons profile that i got it off of 9. What are you wearing? knee high riding socks, leggings, and a panda tee 10. Did you dream last night? no 11. When did you last laugh? reading a twilight walmart fic 12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? some painting and over 100 horseback riding ribbons 13. Seen anything weird lately? yes to much to say 14. What do you think of this quiz? i like it (i am doing this know instead of homework) 15. What is the last film you saw? the first 10 minutes of just married 16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? THE WORLD *evil laugh* (sorry on sugar high) 17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: my fav color is lime/neon green 18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? that no one could throw up (it is my greatest fear) 19. Do you like to dance? HELL YEA (just not in front of that many people) 20. George Bush: i hate him you jackass 21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Daisy or Aspen (dom't know where either of those names came form but i have had to horses named those names) 22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? JJ or Percy IDK? (i jot jj from a fan fic an percy from PJTO 23. Would you ever consider living abroad? not too likely 24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? why god why...oh wait i dont believe in you (sorry if that offends you) The Rules of Hogwarts 1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball (ohh...sorry Neville) 2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office (so tempting!) 3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter (omg so funny!!) 4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick (yeah it's not that impressive) 5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar (yeah he nneds two!) 6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination (well there goes my inner-eye!) 7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms" (but he is!!) 8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy. (oh yeah i made a fourtune!) 9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus's "time of the month" (ahhh his face was funny) 10) I am not allowed to make light sabre sounds with my wand (oh so that's why the teachers were giving me dirty looks) 11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals (yeah now he wants to train Pikachu) 12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force" (awwwww) 13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work" (whoops the first years are halloucinating again!) 14) I will not give you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot (hehe snakey sock!) 15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it (so i can't use magic?!) 16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive (GRYFFINDOR!!...obvs) 17) I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast (that was classic!) 18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day" (omg god their faces!!) 19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways (dun dundun da duuun) 20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor (awww) 21) I will not use the phrase, "Get a Life" when talking to Voldemort (again it's soooo tempting!) 22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy (may he rest i peace ;)!) 23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling (he gave me the evil-eye when i did that) 24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full" (ahh good times) 25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell (but it is!!) 26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate (scared the living daylights out of old professers as well) 27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways, not even on Halloween (oh for crying out loud!!) 28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their colours indicate that they're "covered in bee's" (hehe so funny) 29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge (yeah...and) 30) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core" (ALRIGHT HI-5) 31) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm, not even if they are in Slytherin (sorry snake-people) 32) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers (sorry dobby) 33) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion (ohh so that's why i got a detention) 34) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends" (haha lol so funny) 35) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts (ummm...okay) 36) I do not have an Edward Cullen Patronous (but that's just cruel) 37) I will not lick Trevor (but he's tasty!) 38) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labelled, "Firewhiskey" (oh...uh whoops) 39) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween (damn i now have no insperation) 40) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously (really?!) 41) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions 42) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet (thanks a lot!) 43) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice (well i guess i'm unemployed) 44) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God (awww come on!) 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. You Know You’re Obsessed With Percy Jackson When… You go to the Empire State Building and you ask for the 600th Floor. There’s a thunderstorm going on and you scream, “CALM DOWN, ZEUS!” Every time you use the Internet, you thank Hermes. When you see Harry Potter, you think of Percy with glasses. You burn food to see if it smells good. You see an owl, you go, “Hi Athena!” You’re in a running/swimming race and you’re praying and sacrificing to Hermes/Poseidon. You think that your favorite singer is a child of Apollo. Someone close to you dies and you give them money (LOTS of it) just in case… You go on a cruise and you hope the boat isn’t The Princess Andromeda… You’re on a boat and you pray that Poseidon is in a good mood. You’re in the air (hang-gliding, cliff-diving, bungee jumping, flying, in a plane, etc.) and you hope Zeus is in a good mood and won’t blast you out of the air. You go to Aunty Em’s and say you’re camera shy. You find your true love and thank Aphrodite for sending him/her to you. You think George Bush is a son of Ares (he’s dumb and violent you know!). Me: Don’t kill me Ares! NNOOOOO!! You know Muse is the best singers. Get it, the Nine Muses?? Bring a blue plastic hairbrush with you everywhere. When it gets really cold randomly, blame Kronos. You get a Greek mythology calendar for Christmas. You get really mad at Hades when a family member dies. You sometimes try to control water. You don't read anything but PJO for 3 months. You've gone to Google maps and looked up Camp Half-Blood’s address. Even though not diagnosed, you claim you have ADHD or dyslexia and blame it on your God parent. You yell "Annabeth!" everytime you see a NY Yankees hat. You make the PJO characters on Sims, as Miis on the Wii, and other video games. Anytime you see an orange shirt, you look at the front of it to see if it is a Camp shirt. You are a PJO character for Halloween. Recite lines randomly from the books. When you see/hear about anything myhtology-related, you talk about how it was in PJO (what page, book, etc.) and what happened to it. Buy anything New York or San Francisco-related. You are going to the Camp Half-Blood in Texas (I am not. :(I). You are suddenly obsessed with Adidas shoes because they have the Hermes symbol. You claim that Percy IS real and lives in New York no matter how much your friends argue with you. You have dreams about PJO characters/events (That has happened to me before). You carry a ballpoint pen in your pocket. That everytime you pick up a pen, you think it'll turn into a sword. Everytime you play dodgeball, you bring a suit of armor. You go to San Fransisco looking for the Old Sea Man. You find yourself praying to Poseidon for rain. Whenever your internet slows down, you yell at the sky and say "HERMES! WHY DO YOU LOVE ANNOYING ME?!" You stuff your (ahem) Harry Potter books in the back of your closet so you have some more places for your PJ&O stuff. When someone gets married, you say: "I hope you shall not anger Hera" In the beginning of your first History class, you burst out "Will we be studying Greek mythology?!". You pretend (or actually) faint when someone asks "Who's Percy?" When someone mentions the name Percy (like Percy Weasley) you scream "JACKSON!" When someone dies, you pray to Hades to allow them to go across Styx for free, because they don't have drachmas anymore. You are known to scream names of the characters at random times. You've got any copy of any book in all your backpacks/binders incase of emergencies You pray to Athena when you don’t study for a math test. And when you flunk said test, you blame her irritation on Percabeth. You make a list of characters never to anger, like this one and why: -Thalia- Want her for your friend, hate her for your enemy. -Athena- She scares Percy more than Zeus. Also, she cannot be distracted and her plans always work. -Hades- Um, this one is rather obvious- also you might not be buried with a drachma in your pocket. -Hermes- Cutting off your internet access would be slow and painful torture. Also I blame the economy crisis on Luke's stealing federal funds. -Aphrodite- She's preoccupied with Percabeth and Thuke, I know, but c'mon... -Eris- She threw the apple. You have ADD, are diagnosed, and are convinced that you are a demigod because of this. When you steal your friend's pen you believe it's justified because your dad is the god of thieves, and you thought it was Riptide and had to check to make sure Percy was still alive. You write fanfiction constantly, even when you're not at your computer. When your mom grounds you from the computer, you blame it on a combination of Nemesis, Hera and Hermes' little joke. You want Hephaestus to fix your iPod when it breaks. You give all your siblings god parents (Poseidon, Zeus, Hades.) You call the "Ares kids", or school bullies, Martians. You quiz fellow fans on the minor gods and win. You spend time doing pointless research at , just because Rick Riordan linked it on his site. You still think Thuke could happen. You plan several statements to avoid Apollo's lines and remember he's a player, should he ever hit on you, and several ways to get out of being cursed. You imagine the gods alone, and what they really do on the Superbowl. You think Percy's extended family needs extensive therapy. You have a countdown to the Demigod Files because of the mention of Percabeth. You want Kronos buried under Witchita, Kansas in a safe deposit toothpick box. No one will ever look there, and hopefully he'll be too tiny to bother the locals. Your mother thinks you need to get a boyfriend, as does your father to cure your obsession. You blame your little brother's desire to turn off your Internet in the middle of this review on Hermes' anger that you've joked about all of them. You imagine random unwritten PJO moments during class and laugh. When one brave soul unaware of your obsession broaches the question of why you were laughing, you try to explain. They think you are nuts because you are laughing at Hades' wild card of Nico. The theme for your birthday party is Camp Half-Blood. You think of creative names for Percy besides Seaweed Brain, such as kelphead16 because his head is full of kelp and there's an 85 chance he'll die at the age of sixteen. Silently dubb kids at your school "kids of Ares" or "kids of Apollo". You wonder if you'll be able to drive a car come your 16, provided Percy saves the world, because of that. You know you're obsessed when you lose something, and say, "Come on Hermes! Give it back!! You think all the popular girls at your school are children of Aphrodite. And say to all the braniacs at your school if Athena is okay. (Don’t hurt me Athena). You go on YouTube and look at PJO themes for characters. You read page 287 of BotL over and over again or say the lines in your head Your internet homepage is Rick Riordan's blog. You and your other PJO obsessed friend cracks up if any one mentions the word Canada or Canadians. You and your PJO obsessed friend start a fan club with only you two in it. You get other people obsessed. You have constant vivid dreams about the fifth book. You spend most of your time thinking what will happen in the fifth book. YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE LIGHTNING THEIF MOVIE AND YOU GO AND SEE IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN UNTIL YOU KNOW ALL THE LINES!! :D You know exactly what someone means when they say LT, SoM, TC, BotL, PJO and use it in conversations. Your favorite quote of all time comes from PJO. You and your friend has "diss-wars" using PJO CHARACTERS When someone dies, you give them a sack of red rubber balls for Cerberus. Every time you see a guy in a wheelchair you think "Chiron!!” You start debates about stuff like: Should Hestia have given up her throne for Dionysus? You always win toga competitions. :D You find yourself saying things like "Oh my gods!" and "What the Hades?" (hahaha i definetly do this all the time) When your boyfriend dumps you, you take the oath of the hunters (not that I have any experience.) When you burn yourself, you curse Hephaestus/Hestia. You put an offering to Demeter next to your garden. You go up to a teacher in a wheelchair and say, "I know who you really are, Chiron…" You say "Maia!" when you are wearing shoes. 97 percent of teens would have a nervous breakdown if Miley Cyrus was about to jump off a cliff. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're part of the 3 percent screaming "JUMP!" 90 percent of teens would die if Robert Pattison said breathing was out. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're part of the 10 percent who think he's ugly. 94 percent of teens would stop wearing clothes if designer name brands said being naked was cool. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're part of the 6 percent that can resist stupid fads. 95 percent of teens root for main characters in books. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're part of the 5 percent that like minor characters. 98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile. If you're a fan girl/boy (and not afraid to admit it), copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped up the stairs copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever tripped down the stairs copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy this into your profile. If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day. 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood. 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom. 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!" 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!" 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile! Fun Things To Do In A Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, 2) STAND silent and motionless in the 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look 12) TRY to make personal calls on the 13) DRAW a little square on the floor 14) WHEN there's only one other person 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they 16) ASK if you can push the button for 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're 18) DROP a pen and wail until someone 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it Random Harry Potter stuff that I found on other people's profiles that I loved and wanted to add to mine All the different lines Minerva McGonagall has made students write: "If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE!" "I will not tell everyone that I overheard my sister saying, 'So I was like, 'Avada Kadavra!' and he was like, 'Dead.' " "I will not ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling." "I will not call Draco Malfoy the amazing...bouncing...Ferret." "Remus Lupin does NOT want a flea collar!" "I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort." "I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month." "I will not say 'dude, get a life' to the Dark Lord." "I will not ask Professor Snape why he stole Batman's cape." "I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my calculus book. "I will not spread rumors saying, 'When Voldemort goes to bed he checks his closet for Mrs. Weasley.' " "I will not tell Penelope Clearwater that Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it dances naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy." "I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard!" when sent to the headmasters office." "I will not send You-Know-Who a letter saying, 'I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!' " "Professor Flitwick's name is not Yoda." "I will not bring a magic eight ball to Divination class" "If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of the situation and draw a Dark Mark on their arm." "I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand." "I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing." "I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens." "I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him that they are real animals." "I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween" "I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Paris Hilton." Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn) If you want J.K.R. to make a series about the Marauders, copy this into your profile. If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this on your account. If you secretly believe (and hope) that J.K.R. is really a Hogwarts alumni pretending it is fictional, copy this into your profile. If you want to see a Quidditch match copy and paste this onto your profile. If your a Gryffindor like me copy and paste this into your profile. If you missed Hogwarts as much as Harry while searching for Horcruxes with him, copy this into your profile. If you think Bellatrix is creepy and should have been killed by Neville (not that there's anything wrong with Molly Weasly kicking her but) copy and paste this in to your profile. If you cried more than twice reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, please copy and paste this into your profile. Nothin' to be ashamed of. (in fact, I cried about fourteen times (maybe more that I can't think of): when Hedwig died, when Moody died, when Dobby died, when Fred died, when he walked into the hall and saw Tonks and Remus, when he used the Resurrection Stone, when Snape died, all throughout Snape's Pensieve, when Harry was hit with the killing curse and when Hagrid called out, when Harry was walking through the forest, After Harry comes back from the whole King's Cross thing, when McGonagall Ron Hermione and Ginny screamed, and of course, when it ended. Yes, I am pathetic. But I'm proud.) If you live in an imaginary world where Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Sirius Black, Fred Weasley, Hedwig, Albus Dumbledore, Cedric Diggory, Mad-Eye Moody, Severus Snape, Colin Creevey, Dobby, and hey, while I'm at it, Lily and James, did NOT die and they lived forever and ever and ever and were always happy and were finished with anguish, turmoil and agony, then copy and paste this into your profile! The sorting hat says that I belong in Gryffindor! If you cried when Fred Weasley died ((in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile, and add your name to the list: Littlewhisker, Patronus Charm, xNymphadoraxTonksx. miss sophie potter, Renesmee-worththefight, This is a tribute to all who died fighting Tom Marvolo Riddle Aka: Voldemort First off, I must say, Rest in Peace: James and Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black (The True Mauraders) Nymphadora Tonks, Professor Snape, Fred Weasley, Colin Creavy, Dobby, Hedwig, Regulus Black, Charity Burbedge, Mad-Eye Moody, Cedric Diggory, Grindewald, Sturgis Podmore, Gregorvitch, Benjy Fenwick, Edward Bones, Gideon and Fabian Prewitt, Dorcas Meadows, Marlene McKinnon, Caradoc Dearborn, and all the brave souls that were lost to the War against Voldemort. May you all rest in Peace, and Remember you're never forgotten To James and Lily, In Remembrance …In Remembrance to Severus Snape…. ….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor… ...without all the red and gold crap. …In Remembrance to Fred Weasley… …Who fought bravely to the very end…. …And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half… …And will loyally await his soul mate and brother… … with many jokes… ...he's got forever to think of them, right? …In Remembrance to Dobby… …Who was more free and full of love… ...than any elf, and most humans. ….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin…. ...the last real Marauderer... …who was not just a wonderful father… ….a incredible husband and brave hero… ...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf. ….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks… …who died for ‘the greater good’… ...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora. …In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody…. …who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive… ...and scared the crap out of some kids too. …In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldemort…. …who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger… …but who got his ass thoroughly kicked in the end …In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore… …whose past and wisdom confused us… …whose seeming betrayal shocked us… …but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end... ...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing. In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange… … because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra! She deserved everything she got and more. …In Remembrance of Colin Creevey… …who we really didn’t know too well… …but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war… …so he must’ve done something good… …besides stalking Harry. …In Remembrance of Hedwig… ...Harry actual first friend… ...who lived and died soaring.(from athe profile of 14hp1 Quick! write down 12 random characters from Twilight 1. Nessie 2. Alice 3. Jacob 4.Emmett 5.Jasper 6.Bella 7. Rosalie 8. Carslile 9. Edward 10. Esme 11. Seth 12. Clare 1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before? um not that would be weird but it could happen 2) Do you think four is hot? How hot? hes pretty good looking 3) What would happen if twelve and eight started going out? ok carslile is WAY to old for clare and she will be with quil 4) Do you recall any fics about nine? yea a few 5) Would two and six make a good couple? Bella and alice NO WAY IN HELL 6) Five/Nine or five/ten? Five/ten 7) What would happen if seven walked in on two and eight kissing? that would be so creepy 8) Make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic. jacob is hungry and while waiting for nessie to come home he gos to her house and esme tells him why carslile had to change her while she makes him lunch 9) Is there any thing as one/eight fluff? um no you dont date your grandfather 10) Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic? caring for Claire 11) Does anyone on your friends list read three? dont know i dont have anyone on my friends list 12) Does anyone on your friends list draw or write eleven? same as above 13) Would anyone on your friends list write two/four/five? i dont think so if i have any 14) What might ten scream at a great moment of passion? i dont know or want to think about it 15) If you wrote a songfic about eight, what song would you use? i have no clue 16) If you wrote a one/six/twelve fic, what would the warning be? WARNING IF YOU ARE A BOY THERE WILL BE LOTS OF SHOPPING INVOLVED 17) What would be a good pick up line for ten to use on two? um...i dont wanna think about this one 18) 1 and 8 are in a happy relationship until 5 runs off with 9. After 8 dumps 1 for 12, 6 gets upset and retaliates by dating 12. Alone and broken-hearted, 1 travels in search of a friend. Finally, 1 meets 4 and 7. The three loners meet 10, who tells each of them to look for love. 4 finds 3, 7 gets 11, but now 1 is stuck in a never-ending love triangle with 6 and 2! 19) What would be a good title for this? messed up twilight 101 20) What would the genre(s) be? parody Quick! write down 12 random characters from Percy Jackson And The Olympians 1. Annabeth 2. Grover 3. Percy 4. Nico 5. Selena 6. Juniper 7. Thalia 8. Claresse 9. Aphrodite 10. Athena 11. Hades 12. Chiron 1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before? um no i dont think a daughter of the goddess of love and the god of death would work out 2) Do you think four is hot? How hot? he is not bad but not my type 3) What would happen if twelve and eight started going out? that is just wrong you dont date your campers 4) Do you recall any fics about nine? not directly but she is in a few 5) Would two and six make a good couple? yes cause they are dating already 6) Five/Nine or five/ten? nether 7) What would happen if seven walked in on two and eight kissing? oh my gods that would be odd 8) Make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic. Percy gos to Athena to get her permission to ask Annabeth to marry him 9) Is there any thing as one/eight fluff? no no way in hell 10) Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic? chiron the counselor 11) Does anyone on your friends list read three? yea if i had peeps on my friends list i bet they would 12) Does anyone on your friends list draw or write eleven? i bet if i had any 13) Would anyone on your friends list write two/four/five? no most likely 14) What might ten scream at a great moment of passion? i dont wanna think about it 15) If you wrote a songfic about eight, what song would you use? Backstabber-Ke$ha 16) If you wrote a one/six/twelve fic, what would the warning be? WARNING: THIS WILL INVOLVE ALOT OF CRYING OVER LOST BOYFRIENDS 17) What would be a good pick up line for ten to use on two? "why dont we see what your brains can do in bed" 18) 1 and 8 are in a happy relationship until 5 runs off with 9. After 8 dumps 1 for 12, 6 gets upset and retaliates by dating 12. Alone and broken-hearted, 1 travels in search of a friend. Finally, 1 meets 4 and 7. The three loners meet 10, who tells each of them to look for love. 4 finds 3, 7 gets 11, but now 1 is stuck in a never-ending love triangle with 6 and 2! 19) What would be a good title for this? what did nemesis do? 20) What would the genre(s) be? revenge Things not to do at hogwarts! (well...not unless you have Harry's invisability cloak and the Marauders' Map or you are Fred and/or George) 1. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. 2. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not an extra credit project for Herbology. 3. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge. 4. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. 5. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”. 6. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. 7. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 8. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless, tacky, and not a clever money-making concept. 9. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant. 10. Adding the name “Bueller” to Professor Binns’ roster is not funny. 11. “Springtime for Voldemort” is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play. 12. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”. 13. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class. 14. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to “Get a room” whenever they start to fight. 15. I am not a tribble Animagus. 16. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha. 17. I do not weigh the same as a duck no matter what that Muggle movie says. 18. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar. 19. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is. 20. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong. 21. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” and walking away is only funny the first time. 22. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously. 23. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously. 24. Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say “NI”. 25. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”. 26. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new, pussycat?” 27. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I it’s founder. 28. I am not allowed to order the kitchen house-elves to spit into all the food to “enhance the flavor”. 29. The proper way to report to my Teacher is “Yes, Sir” not “You can’t prove a thing!” 30. I am not allowed to add pictures of teachers I don’t like to Wanted Deatheater posters. 31. There is no house made of candy in the forbidden Forest and it’s wrong to say so to first years. 32. I shall not add “according to the prophecy” at the end of my sentences to raise my Divination grade. 33. I am not to ask Aragog how things with the wife are. Especially if his wife is Shelob. 34. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career choice. Not even if I am a witch. 35. I will not call my wand “an elegant weapon from a more civilized age”. 36. It’s just cruel to tell Nearly Headless Nick that he’d forget his head if it wasn’t attached. 37. The four houses are not the Morons, the Barons, the Smartasses, and the Junior Death Eaters. 38. My headmasters name is Albus Dumbledore, not “Gandalf”. 39. I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks. 40. Yelling “to infinity and beyond” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom. 41. I will refrain from calling Harry and Ron “Frodo and Sam” and the Weasley twins “Merry and Pippin”. 42. Telling Draco Malfoy to “Make like a ferret and bounce” is always a bad idea. 43. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental. 44. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them. 45. I will stop sneaking out at night to look for Ents in the Forbidden Forest. 46. I am not allowed to flood the Chamber of Secrets, install an organ, wear half a mask and sing Andrew Lloyd Webber. 47. I will not tickle a sleeping dragon “just to see what happens”. 48. When being questioned by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce “These aren’t the droids you are looking for”. 49. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter’s Firebolt. 50. I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of a class and blame that someone put the Imperious Curse on me. 51. I will not refer to the Accio Charm as “The Force”. 52. I will stop telling tree-huggers to go visit the Whomping Willow. 53. Loudly repeating “Voldemort Voldemort Voldemort” is not a good way to get the classroom quiet. 54. I must not sing “I’m off to see the wizard” every time I am sent to the headmasters office. 55. I must not throw Hermione’s copy of Hogwarts: A History out the window and then claim that it wanted freedom. 56. I will not tell Professor Trelawny that my teacup says she’s lying. 57. I must not convince first years that the new password to Gryffindor tower is “Petrificus Totalus” and must be recited with their wands pointed at themselves. 58. I will not jump up, yelling “VOLDEMORT, RUN!” in the middle of a Order of the Phoenix or DA meeting. 59. I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his “Happy place”. 60. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand. 61. I must not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”. 62. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit. 63. I will not set Ravenclaw house on the task of calculating the exact value of pi. 64. However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort a Christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times. 65. I will not point out to the house-elves how much sushi could be made of the giant squid. 66. I will not dress like Neville’s grandmother when going to the Halloween Party in Snape’s class. 67. I will not give Voldemort a toupee to hide his baldness. 68. I will not steal veritaserum from Snape’s store and add some to the teachers’ morning tea. 69. When asked a question by a teacher I will not point out that the answer is protected by a fidelius charm and I am not the secret-keeper. 70. Do not jump out at Mad-Eye Moody for a joke. 71. The phrase “Good dragon, nice dragon, please don’t kill me,” doesn’t work. 72. I must not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and shout “To the Batmobile, Robin!” 73. Making a fake journal and leaving it in Ginny’s dormitory is not funny. 74. I must not point at Voldemort and say “I taught him everything he knows.” 75. I will not tell Umbridge “Voldemort says, ‘Hi,’” every time I see her. 76. I should not tell Cho Chang Cedric came to me in a dream and wanted me to tell her something, but I woke up before he did. 77. I must not intentionally mispronounce Cho’s name as “Ho”. 78. I should not tell Umbridge that I have a kitten named “Fluffy” she would like to meet. But I will anyway. 79. I will not pay Professor Flitwick to run around yelling “Help, they’re after me lucky charms!” 80. I must not convince Cedric to wear a red shirt on the last task of the Triwizard Tournament. 81. My name is not “Dark Lord Happy Pants” and I will not sign my papers as such. 82. I will not follow my Potions instructions backwards “just for the heck of it”. 83. I should never ask Harry if his “Scar Senses” are tingling. 84. I must not lock all of the Gryffindor and Slytherin in a room and see which house comes out alive. 85. I will not call the Dark Lord “Tommy-boy”. 86. As Stan Stunpike learned, impersonating a death eater doesn’t “get you chicks”. 87. I will not crush up booger flavored jelly beans and put them in Draco’s pumpkin juice…after this time. 88. I will NOT bleach Lucius Malfoy’s Deatheater robes. 89. I must not fill Umbridge’s room with flies and then tell the headmaster “She was looking a little deprived, flies are what toads eat right?” 90. I must not call Potions “Home-Economics” in front of Professor Snape. 91. Telling Lockheart that there’s something in between his teeth will NOT get you out of DADA. 92. Do not ask Snape how to make a love potion! 93. I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”. 94. I will not hit on Hermione while Ron is in the same room. 95. Ron Weasley does NOT know Kim Possible. 96. I will not say, “What’s the sitch?” into the Order’s two-way mirrors. 97. I will not ask Snape who dumped him and made him so cranky. 98. A hug is not all Snape needs. 99. I will not splash water in Professor McGonagall’s face, expecting her to melt. 100. I am not allowed to set a troll loose because I think it needs some fresh air. 101. I can not call Professor Snape “the Sheriff of Noghtingham”. 102. I will not tell students that can’t see Thestrals that they are about to attack us. 103. Harry’s resemblance to Davy Croccet is purely coincidental. 104. Dropping a bucket of water on Snape’s head was only funny the first time…and the second…and third. But the forth time! No way. 105. I am not to sing “That’s So Raven” when passing Ravenclaws in the corridors. 106. I must not grind with my broomstick. (Tony Hawk style!) 107. I will not tell Hermione that the Hogwarts library has burned in a fire. 108. I must not tell Bellatrix that Voldemort got married. 109. I am not allowed to run my hands through Snape’s hair. 110. I must not tell Umbridge that some centaurs have invited her to a party. 111. I shall not tell Snape, “There is a thing called shampoo in the world.” 112. I must not yell “She-who-must-not-be-named is coming!” every time Umbidge walks down the hall. 113. I shall not say, “I heard that if you hug Voldemort he won’t kill you,” to the first years. 114. Professor McGonagall likes her milk in a glass, not a saucer. 115. Saying, “Here puss, puss, puss, puss, puss,” is not the best way to get McGonagalls attention during class. 116. Wolf whistling at Lupin when he walks by is not funny. 117. I must not bewitch the door to Professor Snape’s office so that it will only open if he says, “Business in front; party in the back!” 118. Convincing Peeves to go into suits of armor and say, “I am your father” isn’t funny. 119. Telling Slytherin first years that to enter their common room they must point their wands strait up and say, “Morsmordre” is just plain mean. 120. I will not bewitch Umbridge’s hand to take her special quill and write: “I am a pompous, ugly toad” 10,000 times. At least, that’s what I’ll tell her. In fact, make it 100,000! 121. When I see Professor Umbridge, I will not say, “There you are, Trevor. Neville has been looking all over for you.” 122. Dementors don’t like it when you walk up to them and ask if they are the Ghost of Christmas-Yet-To-Come. 123. When someone pulls Godric Gryffindor’s sword out of the Sorting Hat, I will not say, “You have acquired the Master Sword.” 124. Saying, “Accio brooms” while first years are having flying lessons isn’t nice. 125. I am not to ask, “Voldemort: boxers or briefs?” 126. I am not allowed to say, “Accio Hermione’s panties!” 127. Mad-Eye Moody’s moto is “constant vigilance” not “custard pudding”. 128. I must not moon Professor Lupin. Even if his nickname is “Moony”. 129. I will not stick Bill Weasley’s hair to the ceiling with a permanent-sticking charm. 130. The resurrection stone is not materia. 131. Voldemort’s nickname is NOT “Filthy Half-Blood”. 132. “Rub-on aphrodisiac” is not one of the twelve uses of dragon’s blood. 133. i will not buy professer snape head n shoulders shampoo for christmas. 134. i will not skip down the hallway singing, "we're off to see the wizard!" whenever i'm sent to the headmasters office. 135. i will not tell Cedric he dies only to turn into a sparkling, emo vampire in a few years 136. i will not ask Lucius Malfoy why him and his friends let everyone call them 'vultures' If you have wasted precious hours of your life reading this random crap that gets you a few giggles well... YOU'RE JUST LIKE ME! Take Time To Read Each Sentence This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retarded cat this is person cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of every line 'Never Argue With A Woman' One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.What are you doing?' 'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?'). 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.' 'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. 10 Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen: 10. Tell him only to address you in a cute English accent. 9.Call him Carlisle, but be sure to pronounce the “s”. When he corrects you, give him a weird look and tell him the “q” is silent. 8.Ask if blondes really do have more fun. 7. Inquire as to what he actually does on his night shift on the hospital, with all the pretty nurses in the ER. 6. Instead of telling him to “get lost” in an argument, tell him to swim to France. 5. When he annoys you, respond with “times have changed, old man”. 4. Ask what type of superhuman power compassion is – what does he do in a fight? Love thy enemy to death? 3. Leap out from behind the desk in his study when he isn’t expecting it and spray him with Holy Water. 2.Call him McSteamy or McDreamy. And the Number One way to annoy Carlisle Cullen? 1. Run around the Emergency Room screaming “I’ve been bitten! I’ve been bitten!” 10 Ways to Annoy Jasper Hale: 10. Beg him not to eat you. 9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen. 8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry. 7.Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him JasparCullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must havegone to his brain. 6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away. 5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood. 4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts. 3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”. 2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction. And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale? 1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style. 10 Ways to Annoy Edward Cullen: 10. Sing “Discovery Channel” by the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near. 9.Hotwire his Volvo and take it on a joyride. 8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically pedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it. 7. Ask how Tanya is. 6. End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.” 5. Call him Romeo both behind his back and to his face. 4. Whenever he complains or argues, reply with “What are you gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?” 3.Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga. 2.Whenever he leaves a room or says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg himnot to go, not again. And the Number One way to annoy Edward Cullen? 1.Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” by Madonna. 10 ways to annoy Emmett Cullen: 10. Tell him he looks like a creepy stalker rapist. 9. Inform him, as politely as possible, that he has grizzly in his teeth. 8. Ask who wears the pants in his relationship. 7. Try to stab him through the heart with a stake. 6.Tell him brawn is out, scrawn is in. 5. Inquire as to how he feels to be the least-liked Cullen male. 4. When he is around, wonder aloud what Rosalie calls him in bed. 3. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with that jeep. 2. Ask if he is overcompensating for something with those muscles And the Number One way to annoy Emmet Cullen? 1.When he denies the abovetow claims, respondwith "That's not what Rosalie saaaaaid!" 10 ways to annoy Alice Cullen: 10. Take her credit cards and shopping vouchers, hold them above your head and tell her to "Jump for them." 9. Tell her if she were just a few centimeters shorter she could legally be a midget. 8. Wear the trashiest possible clothing whenever you can. 7. Tie her up in a straight jacket. When she protests, tell her she needs to go back to the loony bin. 6. When you go into the sun with her, fall into a twitching heap on the ground and moan "I'm melting." 5. Pelt her with cloves of garlic. 4.When she gets a vision, ask if her "spidey senses" are tingling 3. Trip her and ask her if she saw it coming. 2. Ask her what you will be doing in five minutes every ten minutes. And the Number One way to annoy Alice Cullen? 1.E-mail her dozens of application forms for the position of speaker on psychic hotlines. 10 ways to annoy Bella Swan: 10. Ask about Eric. 9. Ask about Mike. 8. Ask about Jacob. 7. Ask about Edward. 6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the white pages she looked for fake fan boys. 5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun. 4.Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her... happy. 3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong and, she should stop with her weird fetishes. 2. Tell her we all know the real reason she married Edward- the honeymoon. And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan? 1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Video tape the reaction. 10 Ways to Annoy Rosalie Hale: 10. Tell her that, because everyone thinks she and Jasper are twins, they should get together. When she asks why, say that Incest is in at the moment. 9. Call her “Ice Queen” behind her back and to her face. 8. Whenever she argues anything, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.” 7. Claim that being a human ain’t so great. 6. When she argues the above claim, respond with “Whatever, bimbo.” 5. Try to exorcise her and her evil ways. 4. Tell everyone that Edward didn’t go to Italy because Rosalie said Bella was dead – he went to Italy because he envisioned Rosalie’s ugly face. 3.Call her “Hoe-salie” at least once, to her face. 2. Remind her that Edward chose a pathetic human girl over her. And the Number One way to annoy Rosalie Hale? 1.Steal her silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Roxanne” by The Police. When she asks why the hell you did it, say that she reminds you of Roxanne. 10 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen: 10.Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses. 9. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc. 8. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel? 7.Politely ask if Carlisle asks her to dress up as “Nurse Naughty” in the bedroom and if he demands she calls him “Doctor Dreamy” 6.Tell her that Carlisle is much too old for her, and that he is clearly a cradle-snatcher or phedophile. 5. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it’s a caramel milkshake. 4.Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle – then smudge lipstick on Carlisle’s shirt collar and spray him with perfume. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction. 3.Ask if she likes Carlisle’s cute little English accent. When she says she loves everything about Carlisle, call her an “uncultured swine” and storm off. 2. Inquire as to how she jumped off a cliff and survived. When she can’t answer, ask if she is secretly Batman. And the Number One way to annoy Esme Cullen? 1.Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail. 10 Ways to Annoy Jacob Black: 10. Never use English around him – instead, bark. 9. Call him a space heater. 8. Tell him that dogs make good pets, not good partners. 7.Ask him if he has RSVPed to the wedding yet. 6. Inform him that real men sparkle. 5. Walk up to him and claim you have imprinted. Say you love him and demand his paw in marriage. 4. Tell him that even though he may run at a boiling 108.9 degrees, Bella doesn’t find him hot. 3. Inquire as to how Leah is… and if he dreams about Sam the way Leah dreams about Bella. 2. Ask him if he likes to do things… doggy style. And the Number One way to annoy Jacob Black? 1. Make him a day-by-day flip calendar, counting down the amount of time Bella will remain human. Reasons why girls are the best 1.We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.(We don't usually picture guys naked. we picture what it would be like to kiss you then get over it and move on.) 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. 'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I TAKE (or used to take) (or should have taken) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy. I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich. I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino. I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party. I'm Jewish, so I MUST love money. I'm from Africa so I MUST be BLACK -The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile. -If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. -if you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile -If you compare people to Edward and Bella, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. -If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. -If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself, copy and past this to your profile. -If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. -If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Jasper, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile -If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. -If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. -If you are obsessed with FanFiction copy this into your profile -If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile -I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... -If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. -If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile. -If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this to your profile. -If you think that one of your teachers hate because well they just hate you, copy and paste this to your profile. -If you think that one of your teachers is taken advantage of (Poor nice teacher), copy and paste this to your profile. -If your life sucks, copy and paste this to your profile |
The Week the Olympians Visited by psychncislover reviews