This is my profile, i welcome you all. I have no idea who i am welcoming and i don't even know if someone is wasting their time reading this. If you are reading this then. . . . YAY!! Someone actually cares what i have to say and who i am.

Well, my name is Rachel and i am 19 years old.

My friends think i am a complete nutter and even knowing full well i am I'm still in denial.

My maturity level changes depending on who i am with and i would rather spend a night home reading a book than partying.

Oh, one last thing, i am such a slow reader it annoys ME!

If you've ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste onto you profile.

If you talk to inanimate objects, copy and paste to your profile.

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you've ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in an alternate dimension, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you love rain, paste this on your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly stupid, copy and paste this into your profile.

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they
want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual
favors".

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Dont use any punctuation marks

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. (If you can at your age)

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of
jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock
Hard Kim.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won, I won!
It's the 3rd time this week!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling,
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."

20. Wait until your grandmother picks up the phone. Then yell your loudest jungle call.

29 reasons why girls are the best
1.We got off the Titanic first
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Did you know...
Kissing is healthy.
Bananas are good for period pain.
It's good to cry.
Chicken soup actually makes you feel better.
94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.
Lying is actually unhealthy.
You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.
It's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.
89 percent of guys want you to make the first move.
It's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.
Chocolate will make you feel better.
Most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.
A good friend never judges.
A good foundation will hide a hickeys...not that you have any.
Boys aren't worth your tears.
We all love surprises.
Now...make a wish.
Wish REALLY hard!
WISH WISH WISH!
Your wish has just been recieved.
Copy and paste into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...your wish will be granted.