Hey there. I'm Tamm. My favorite anime/manga is Fullmetal Alchemist, Naruto, Shaman King, and .Hack. My favorite genre for fanfiction is humor. I don't like romance. I dislike yaoi, shounen-ai, yuri, or shoujo-ai.

I'm a 14-year old tomboy. My favorites are red, tiger, sports, anime, manga, reading, and drawing "stick manga" as Hei calls it. I don't like vegetables, Hei, homework, Hei- oh wait, that's getting off topic.

Hei made up the pen name. DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!

Our...uh...friendship (both apply violent reactions to selves) is really jacked up cuz...we can work together, but we despise each other...and we consider each other friends in a screwed up way. So, yeah. A fun FYI. You know, I hate FYI's, at our school, they're soo annoying, they're pointless too- (Hei attempts to beat the sense out of Tamm before she can ramble any further, but failes oh-so-miserably, now he's gonna get, that little fag...you get how jacked up our friendship is now, yes?) (Hei: You can tell she wrote that, can't you- ow, ow, OUCH!).

(Tamm: Hei's little mini-fic thingamajig when he was smoking pot...I mean, high on sugar.)...Ignore her.

Naruto: My greatest invention...The solar powered-flashlight!
Sakura: (insert long pause)...That's a nice invention...-_-;
Inner Sakura: WTF? FACE MY KUNAI, DUMBFUCK!
Sasuke: (sniffs weed) Hic...Gimme fifty...urp...
Hinata, thinking: Oh Naruto, you're SO smart! Why don't I come over to your house so we can...uhhh, talk about your invention.
Hinata: Umm, can I have one?
Naruto: Hehehehe...um, about that...I only made one...and I stole the plans from Sasuke's secret weed hideout...
Kakashi and Jirayia: PERVERTS UNITE!

Hei: For a better understanding of the Azn Opposites and because we have no life, we will interview each other while attempting to set fire to one another.
Tamm: (takes out flamethrower) I like the second option.
Hei: Right. First, let's define why we're the Azn Opposites.
Tamm: If you think we're related in any way for just a second, you're dead.
Hei: And I'll set you on fire. Anyway, back on topic.
1. Azn means asian (for all those idiots who don't know what that means).
2. Opposites DO NOT attract. If you've been told that, and you believe it, then you must go to hell.
3. I am a guy. Tamm is a girl.
4. I'm short, she's tall.
5. She's organized. I'm a guy, must I go on?
6. Me: cold heart, little warmth. Her: no heart, and she'll kill you if you try to find one.
Tamm: DAMN STRAIGHT! FEAR ME!
Hei: Ahem...ow!
7. She's violent, I try to be.
8. She gets pissed easily. I tolerate.
9. Nothing opposite about this: we idolize Naruto.
Tamm: You idolize. I don't.
Hei: Whatever. So, who do you like?
Tamm: The guy I'm going out with...dumbass...(beats the crap out of Hei)
Hei: (holds bloody nose) I knew that...

3 hours and lots of gauze later

Hei: Who's your favorite Naruto character?
Tamm: Gaara!
Hei: Why?
Tamm: His jutsu are cool! And he kills people ruthlessly
Hei: What would you do if a hot asian jock asked you out?
Tamm: Kill him.
Hei: Aaah...(cringe)...Okay, what Naruto pairing will last?
Tamm: Er...I dunno, I'm not into mush. Neji and Tenten, I suppose.
Hei: Okay. My turn!
Tamm: Who do you like?
Hei: (tries to kick Tamm under the table) OUCH! Doctor, get me a doctor!
Tamm: (ignoring Hei's pain like usual) Who's your favorite Naruto character?
Hei: Ermmm...Sasuke is too gay, Sakura has a forehead the size of Texas, Kakashi is powerful but perverted (SPOILER-and he's using someone else's eye!-SPOILER), the Hokage is old (Tamm falls asleep), Sasuke's brother is creepy, Ino has issues, Chouji is a fat ass, SHikamaru is a lazy ass, and Naruto is short, ignorant, and arrogant. I'd say all of the above.
Tamm: (wakes up) Ehh? Oh...What would you do if a girl asks you out?
Hei: What happened to 'hot' and 'asian'?
Tamm: (snickers) You'll be lucky enough if a girl asks you out at all. Now shut up and answer the question.
Hei: If she's asian, okay. If not, politely decline and hire the mafia.
Tamm: What pairing will last?
Hei: Naruto and Hinata.
Tamm: Okaywe'redonehaveanicedaybye. (leaves)
Hei: She meant, "Okay, we're done, have a nice day, bye."

On Fire is our first, upcoming fic!

Always His Fault is our second!