Things FallingRain3 likes: HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY 1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3) Insist that your e mail address is: 4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing. 6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'. 7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. 8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.' 10) Reply to everything someone says with,'That's what you think.' 11) Finish all your sentences with:'In accordance with the prophecy.' 12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way. 13) dont use any punctuation 14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 15) Ask people what sex they are and laugh hysterically after they answer. 16) Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go.' 17) Sing along at the opera. 18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.) 20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3. 21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. 22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 23) Call 999 and ask if 999 is for emergencies.(don't do this!) 24) Call the physic hot line and don't say anything. 25) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard. 26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, 'I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!' 27) When leaving the zoo,start running towards the parking lot, yelling, 'Run for your lives,they're loose!' 28) Tell your boss, 'It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do.' 29) Tell your children over dinner.'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go. 30) Every time you see a broom, yell 'Honey, your mother is here!' 15 Ways to Get Kicked Out of WalMart 1-wander through the store dressed in all black with a fake walkie-talkie humming the Mission Impossible theme. When someone asks what you're doing, scream "LOOK OUT!!" and push them behind a shelf 2-Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly after they take one. 3-Buy 350 packets of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" once the cashier tells you the price 4-Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask someone where you can find some "musical devices" 5-when the announcer-thing comes on, throw yourself on the floor and scream "THE VOICES!!THEY'RE BACK!!" 6-start a fish stick fight 7-walk up to random people and give them giant bear hugs. Then scream "I MISSED YA, MAN!!" 8-(this requires a friend) Jump in a cart and have a friend push you around screaming "The British are coming!!" 9-walk up to an employee and murmur "code red in aisle 3" and see what they do 10-slip a bra and a lacey pink thong into a really macho-looking man's cart (just make sure he doesn't have any girls with him) 11-attempt to fly off a high shelf 12-throw confetti on random people walking into the store 13-whisper "I know your "little secret"' to people in the checkout line 14-stand inside the freezer at the frozen food section 15-walk up to empoyees and whisper "I saw dead people...They want me to take you away...to aisle 8. ╔═╦╦══╦══╦╗╔╦══╦══╗╔╗ |
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