To be or not to be? That's allways the question I ask myself. allways. Change, repetition, it's all so hard...Why cant well all just be the same? Instant conformity; instant happiness. Happiness...what is it? Contentness? Every emotion comes with definitions that come with even more emotions that appeal to us. Cynics, they're all just dreamers with crushed dreams. Even that statement made me feel. Feel what though? Sadness? Depression? Sympathy? No. I dont feel. Not anymore.

2-19-09. Today a rumor circulated that a columbine was going to occur tomorrow. I hope the bitch shoots us all. Shoots us all to the fucking lanoleium floors. But most of all, I hope that person has enough decency to kill my science teacher. This hate, it's not normal "i hate my 9th grade teacher" hate; it's fucking passion. It's a fucking, I want to krazy glue your childrens lips togeather so that they cant scream when i perform a discection on their preschool bodies. But then again, I want to hear their pleas...The pleas of the innocent. So sweet, sincere...The same questions are allways asked before someone get's murdered, "Who are you?", "Why are you doing this?", "What did I do to you?". Well, obviously you know who I am, and what you did to me. But, do you honestly know why i'm doing these things? I myself have never intentially harmed anyone physically, i wouldnt dare. Physical harm is for the weak. If you can crush a humans soul, a fragile ego, well, you just hit the jackpot. But, if you can muster enough power to damage an emotionly strong person, well, you just fucking won the olympic gold.

DEAR GOD, HELP ME OUT OF MY MESS