Werewolflover98 | FanFiction

Werewolflover98

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Joined 08-19-10, id: 2502715, Profile Updated: 08-03-12

Hi I'm Werewolflover98 and I have just signed up.

I live in the UK.

I love to read anything to do with supernateral beings i.e Twilight, Night World, The secret circle, Vampire Acadamy and Vampire Diaries.

I will update on future fanfics A.S.A.P.

Werewolflover98. XOXO

I JUST WANNA PLAY MY MUSIC!!
(O)

.ılı.--Volume--.ılı.Min- - - - - - - - - - -Max
Play Pause Stop

30% Chocolate lover
40% Stubborn
50% dog lover
60% Music Lover
70% Writer
80% Book lover
90% Love Addict
100% Vampire Addict

Signs of being a true bookworm/book lover:

1. Book lovers/bookworms spend a lot of their time in bookstores and libraries. (yuppers )

2. Book lovers/bookworms are the ones under most or all umbrellas at the beach. (whenever I stop reading to go to the beach, check)

3. Book lovers/bookworms tend to put many neccissary activities (like eating, using the bathroom, sleeping, etc.) second or even with reading. (to, to true... checkarony...)

4. Book lovers/bookworms love everything associated with books. (I LOVE BOOKLIGHTS!!! XD check, check, check)

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DUDE! RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Dude drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS:Will confort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him and say 'it's becuase your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this thing!!

Raised by wolves oath: I promise to remember Bryn, When I see a daring girl I promise to remember Callum, When I see a man scolding a child. I promise to remember Devon, When I see a boy who love theatrics. I promise to remember Chase, When I see a boy with a sad past. I promise to remember Lance, When I see a tall buff guy. I promise to remember Sora, When I see a mother with too many children. I promise to remember Wilson, When I see a doggie man. I promise to remember Ali, When I see a person that isn't easily fooled. I promise to remember Alex, When I see a new born baby boy. I promise to remember Katie, When I see a new born baby girl. I promise to remember Lake, When I see a female hunter. I promise to remember Casey, When I see a man saying how much he loves his wife. I promise to remember raised by wolves when I see wolf on the run.

'Never Argue With A Woman'

One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after
several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar
with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to
read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am.

What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?').

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment.

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.

It's likely she can also think

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet. And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Carebears
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
Way back.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

Here's a bunch of ifs and stuff to paste in. So copy and paste this to your profile:

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If someone ever told you to stop cussing or else they'll make you eat soap copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile

If you ever fell off a chair back wards copy this into your profile

If you're a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is planning to dominate the world, copy this to your profile.( I act friendly but have an evil mind MUAHHAHA)(I'm joking or am I?)(Nope, not at all (sacasm))

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love the rain, copy this to your profile. (I would like to look at the rain, dreaming)

If your obsessed with fan fiction, copy this to your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you read New Moon and Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD past this in your profile.

If you are writing a book, copy this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FreakyTwilightLovero, Vampires_Rock,cullendrive, AlexandraCullen, Myself4994, BerryEbilBunny, Werewolflover98

92 percent of American teens would die if Ambercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing their heads off!

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy this into ya profile.

If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire or a werewolf, put this in your profile.

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you are a teenager, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you listen to alternative rock, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think your insane because you say so, copy and pate this into your profile.

If you think being random is screaming out common household objects, animals and foods, copy and pate this into your profile.

If you want people to believe you don’t care how they feel about you, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you would walk 1,000 miles to see the person you love for 5 minutes, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever copy and pasted something to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you get bored easily, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever tried to grow wings, copy and paste this too.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ran up a down escalator copy this into your profile!

Put this into your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune, and were all composed by Mozart.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If most of these apply to you, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think most teachers have no life, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've written a fanfic, copy and paste this to your profile and add another chapter.

If you love your country, copy and paste this to your profile then praise your country.

Dance like no one is watching.

Love like you've never been hurt.

Sing like no one is listening.

Live like it's heaven on earth.

Work like you don't need the money.

Speak like you've never been heard.

Listen like the voice is a melody.

Write like you just found the words.

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious

If you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

i speak fluent sarcasm.

are yhu stoned
or just stupid.!

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

I do not deny everything!

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

Don't take life to serously, no one gets out alive anyway

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

"Obstacles are put in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for."

"Don't fall for someone unless they're willing to catch you."

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Something else that i laughed at :D

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Frito's! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

If our body temperature is normally 98.6 degrees, how come when it's 98 degrees outside, no one is comfortable?

Why is it the TWELVE days of Christmas when there is only one day of Christmas?

Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

When a boy is named after his dad, he is called 'Junior,' but what do you call a girl that is named after her mother?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

More funny things i found :D These aren't mine by the way XD

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

15. The day you don't wash your hair is the day you meet a cute boy.

Even more stuff that made me think and laugh at the same time :D

Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!

When life gives you lemons, spit the lemons in life's eyes.

Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

My heart? Yeah. It's not a playground.

Tears wash the windows of our souls so we can see ourselves more clearly. -Exodus 19:5

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at one thing: Staying Strong.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and lose that's weird.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! (OMC! Carlisle!)

Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it all. And then some you don't want. -Daughtry

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver

You know it's a bad day when you fall out of bed and you miss the floor.

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Dance like no one's watching. Sing like no one's listening.

Sometimes you've got to smile and walk away... Hold your tears in and pretend like you're okay.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Don't yawn in the shower. You might drown. -Bill Cosby

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my super powers.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.

Therapist = The/rapist (scary thought -shudder-)

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it...

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! -Dory from Finding Nemo

I can resist anything but temptation.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

One day we're going to look back at this, laugh nervously, then change the subject.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide.

I don't obsess, I think intensely.

Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.

Funny !!

๑๑

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

๑๑

In secret we meet in silence I grieve, That thy heart would not forget, thy spirit decieve, of I should meet thee after long years, how should I greet thee. With silence and tears.
I think that this is a beautiful sentence and I even have it as my wall paper on my computer.

female come backs
pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Woman: Did it hurt when you were dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby?

The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.

No guy is worth your tears & the ones who are won’t make you cry.

Adults are just kids with money.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways.

Justin Bieber falls off a building. 90% of the girls are crying. 9% are watching while eating popcorn. 1% are pushing Justin off the building. If you are part of that 9 or 1%, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are an expert at doing absolutely nothing for hours on end, paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've ever wanted to go into a book and slap/ scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile

If your friends think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog), and you don’t care, copy and paste this is your profile.

If you dream of killing a character in a book so you can go out with their boyfriend, post this in your profile.

If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny til that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you star in your own movie and pretend to be an assassin... multiple times. Crazy is when you scream for no reason or sing nursery rymes. Crazy is when you have a post-book comatose state after reading a book and then half an hour later are spouting off random qoutes, character facts and character descriptions to people you know don't give a (inert swear word of choice). If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you believe teenagers are steryotyped, put this on your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you love walking around in the pouring rain without an umbrella, copy this to your profile. (I totally do this!)

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination

If you are a total klutz copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you give annoyingly cute nicknames to all the people you know, and they hate them with a passion, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING CAPS LOCK!)

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you:

love to read and act crazy,

laugh and have fun,

ignore people who call you names or think you are less than them,

are always there to help your friend in their greatest time of need,

run bare foot through the grass just for the joy of the sea of cold green that tickles your feet,

spend as much time outside as you do reading or on the computer,

are a night owl who hardly sleeps,

act weird and crazy just to scare other people or make them laugh with you,

then we would be great friends. :D Copy and paste this in your profile if this is you.

My name is Chris

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else I’m locked up

All day long.

When I’m awake I’m all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I’ll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says it’s my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door.

He’s already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!” I scream

But it’s now much too late.

His face has been twisted

Into an unimaginable shape.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

If you are against child abuse, put this in your profile...I did.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school

He told his friends that it was cool

And when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack

Mummy I was a good girl

I did what I was told

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye

I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another

And all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much

And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now

And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest

Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class

And never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this

Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try

I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest

But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest

Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would

I wanted to go to college

I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with daddy

On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married

I wanted to have a kid

I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live

But mummy I must go now

The time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris

I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date

I love you mummy I always have

I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"

In memory of the Colombian students that were lost

Please if you would

Pass this around

I'd be happy if you could

Don't smash this on the ground

If you pass this on

Maybe people will cry

Just keep this in heart

For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices

1) re-post and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.

Re-post this and spread the stupidity!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. (so many times...T.T)

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!