Hey...I'm Alicia. (pronouced A-le-sha, just so you know..)

Go to gaiaonline.com It is an awesome site!!

(also most of this page is copy & paste stuff, so you don't have to read all of it, it might take a while. but it's a ton of cool stuff, so you should read some of it.)

I'm short, about 4 ft. 10 inches, I wear glasses... I'm distracted easliy, and I procrastinate.

I started reading Harry Potter when I was six, cause I moved...so I read. When you ask me a simple question aout one detail of the books, I'll give you a ten-minute answer. I'll tell you who it was about, why, when, and when else it was mentioned in another book. I was the youngest person in a Harry Potter Tivia Contest, and I was in the Final ten. But the lady got exact, and I pronounced one of The Three D's incorrectly, and got disqualified.( I was eleven. Now I'm sixteen! Yippe for me!!)

Sometimes, when I'm working in class, I'm actully working on stories, it's cool because, my teachers think I'm doing my work.. but it gets me in trouble when they find out I'm not...

I'm always HYPED!! Yes, hyped, not hyper. My word is hyped, and I intend to use that word...

Yeah I'm either dancing like a ballerina that's buzzed(spinning very quickly, yelling loudly, "I'm a pretty ballerina!!WEEEE!!Perrty ballerina, pretty, pretty, pretty!")

Or I'm reading, or writing. I know, odd mix, crazy people do have brains you now!(They may not be fully functional, but hey? they work enough...)

And, yes, people do treat me like I belong in a mentel instutute.

But HEY! It's cool.

One of my Things To Do Before You Die things is I want to travel. I live in an extremallly small town so... Mainly I want to go to England. I've like a thing, for England, and (me'n' my friends have a thing for guys with english accents, our guy friends don't get why we think it's hot, and neither do we, we just do..) And, I also want to go to Japan I just think England, and Japan seem really flippin cool for this small town girl... Oh, I also want to go to El Salvador, and Puerto Rico, because, my dads family lives there.

I adore writing, I'm writing this one story I really, really, really(times abillzillion) want to finsh it. It shall be hard... I've only ever finished two stories, in like nine years... BUT I WILL TRY!!

Oh, umm... to see if my stories are any good I might send it to my fave authors, just to see want they think.

i make up words. and phrases. SUCH AS...

"Don't be mean, because being mean is mean." (so good, i know...)

"It's gold! It's so gold, it's copper!!" (I made this up in P.E. We're doing track and field and I was voted fastest in my group. But I'm always late, and this is what I said. I even got my p.e. teacher laughing, which is hard. They also made fun of my black and lime-ed green sock-ies that day...)

"DRAMA: It's Dramatic" (i made it out a few monthes ago, genius, isn't it?)

"It's awesomley possemly cool!!" (it's like, the highest form of compliment from moi)

my friend Ali made this one, "It's magical!" (flutter fingers, from center of chest, elbows at your side, move fluttering fingers down low as they can go..)

These, unfortunatly, were not made by yours truely...

'"Did you seriosly just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on t.v!"'- Jacob

"It's bitchin'!" -House

"SNAP!" -House

"He has a crush on you, he just doesn't know how to show it" -Chase to Foreman

"So between us we can do anything we want. We can rule the world!" -House to Wilson

"kiss me. I love it!" - House

"I'm not going to kiss you. No matter what you say." -House

"Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?" - House

"Hey I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I'm that good!" -House

(If you didn't notice, I like(really, really like) House.)

Favorite parts of my fave FanFics...

" 'Just about now I would like to inform you of a crow’s adamant avoidance of long sticks and big knights aiming for them.' "- from Granddaughter to the Lioness, by skyflyte12

She stubbornly stepped forward, brushed Steve out of the way, and mockingly grabbed the dagger with one hand and wrenched it out. As it came out, it emitted a crack that was audible to all the men present.

Adalia smiled, head cocked to the side as she turned around, idly twirling the dagger in her hand. “You men better be careful about how you see girls from now on. Oh, and did it ever occur to you how it ended up there in the first place?” Adalia took in the awed looks, which were mirrored on all of the gathered men’s faces, with satisfaction.

Her eyes hardened as she got a good idea. Flicking the knife high in the air, she caught it again and pivoted swiftly, aiming it to become newly imbedded in a nearby tree trunk, but this time it was almost at the top. She gave them men one last smile and a Player’s bow before turning and walking away quickly. - From Granddaughter to the Lioness, by skyflyte12

The pack was shocked upon Daine’s return to their home. She was covered in cuts and bruises. She looked awful.

The wolves all crowded round her. “What happened?” they asked.

Eventually they convinced her to show them what happened. Daine told them all to follow her.

She led them outside and limped along until she came to an enormous rock. It must have been at least ten foot high!

They all gathered round the rock with great suspicion.

“You all see this rock?” questioned Daine.

The others nodded.

“Humph. Wish I had.” - From Jokes, by Pippa Spark

Onua sat up in bed, startled. She looked around at the birds and almost passed out. Her birds were not there anymore. Instead, something very, very different was there. Two somethings, really. And what Onua saw was something that no one had ever expected.

Where her birds had been not five hours ago, there were now two humans. Both incredibly pale, and both naked. Only one of the humans she could understand being there. It was her hawk, but now he was a tall man, with shoulder-length black hair and a laughing expression on his face. This was Aram Draper. Well, he liked to be called Numair Salmalin, but his real name was Aram.

The other person is who shocked Onua the most. It was Daine, and she was looking better than she ever had since Onua had met her. Well, other than the fact that she was naked and was holding a towel around herself. But other than that, she looked amazing.

Numair turned to Onua.

“Hello. Can I have some food? I’m hungry,” Then he looked to Daine, who was blushing furiously. “See, little one? I told you it would work. Now we can study together- I can help you learn about your wild magic- it’s obvious you have it, my dear, completely obvious- and you can help me learn even more about it! And so a partnership is born, am I right, or am I right?”

Daine giggled. Then she did something that Onua would never have believed her capable of- she spoke clearly.

“Yes, you’re right, but only if you’ll stop being so silly!” -From Cloudless Day, by Basschiquita

I have no intention of being a good girl after I leave this gods blasted rot-filled snake hole you all seem so affectionate to call a school. After all well-behaved women rarely make history i.” -From Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History, by Starlit1 (Just so people know, this story was the one that got me to join FanFiction!!)

Jane massaged her aching temples “Why do you do this to yourself? I just want to strangle them” she moaned.

Evin chuckled as the recruits fled the yard “Was it so easy for you to learn?” he asked softly.

Jane opened her eyes and smiled at him “Oh aye. It was simple;my uncle took me to the woods and told me if I didn’t shoot then I didn’t eat” she smiled fondly at the memory of her uncle’s teaching tactics.

Evin laughed “Sounds effective” he hopped over the fence and took hold of her shoulders he then began to knead her tense muscles with his long fingers.

Jane groaned appreciatively “Think we could get away with dumping them in the middle of the woods with nought but a crossbow?” she asked.

His laugh was full throated and deep “I think they’d let us try anything at this point” he said without ceasing his ministrations.

She sighed as her aching shoulders relaxed under his skilled hands “Marry me” she groaned.

He chuckled “You only want me for my body” he commented mournfully.

She laughed and straightened “What else is there?” she said as she leered at him.

He frowned “I’ll have you know that I am a multi faceted individual; I have layers, deep, deep layers” he said with a hand draped across his heart.

She hopped over the fence and followed him back to the Rider’s quarters “Like an onion” she commented innocently.

He scowled at her “An onion? That’s hardly very flattering” he said wryly.

“I’m not here to flatter you ” she pointed out as they entered the empty mess hall.

He trapped her in the doorway by placing a hand against the wall either side of her head “Then what will you do to me?” he asked with an outrageous smirk.

“Nothing bucko now back away from the nice lady” a melodic voice chimed in from the opposite side of the hall.

Evin stepped away from Jane and swooped into a graceful bow “Your wish is my command your most serene Majesty” he said smoothly.

Queen Thayet chuckled at the boy “Shoo before you vex me” she said in a voice filled with humour.

“Shooing” he said as he backed out of the doorway, he threw a wink at Jane “I’ll see you around Jane” he promised before sliding out the door.

Jane frowned at her “Just when I find a worthy playmate” she said mournfully.

Thayet waggled a finger at her “If only your father knew” she commented.

Jane giggled at the image “I doubt his heart could take the strain your majesty and then where would I be? Just a poor little orphan with not a friend in the world” she said with a delicate pout.

Thayet jerked a thumb at the doorway “Scat” she said disapprovingly.

“Scatting” she trilled in mockery of Evin’s exit, she heard the woman’s full throated laugh as she sauntered away from the Hall in search of a handsome blonde. She found him. -Fears in Solitue, by MagnetTarpit

“Please don’t continue; for the sake of my sanity” same as above

“Querida, I question your sanity. No one should alter what has already been.”

“Paul time travels all the time.”

“I though you said he was a creep.” Jesse spoke the informal last word with difficulty.

“He is a creep of the umpteenth degree!” I spat heatedly.

What? It is so totally true. Bite me!-Kiss of Death, by Pippa Spark

“Or burn it, if I feel the need.” Hmmm. Burning it sounds more like my style. Yes. Burn the bridge. I loved feeding my evil side.-same as above

NOW THESE NEXT PARTS ARE SAD: WARNING MIGHT BRING TEARS TO THE EYE

(if you don't want to be sad, dont read it. but post on to your profile, so we know your agaist child and gun abuse, and abortion.)

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

this is so sad:

My name is Tiffany

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren’t ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can’t do a wrong

I can’t speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren’t home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie’s bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I’m so afraid now

I’m starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He’s already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I’m sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is tiffany

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me

And you can help

To stop this for others

And if you read this

And don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness

Because you would have to be

One heartless person

To not be effected

By this Poem

And because you are effected,

Do something about it!

So all I ask you to do

Is pass this on!

If you are against child abuse

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show

I didn't grow up in a library, but sometimes it felt that way.

If FanFiction is to you, what MYspace is to others, paste this on your profile.

I can't have a crisis today; my scheldule is full.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you are called 'weird' at least 5 times a day, post this in your profile

Did you know that...Kissing is healthy. Bananas are good for period pain. It's good to cry. Chicken Soup actually makes you feel better. 94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers. Lying is actually unhealthy. You really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes. Its actually true, boys do insult you if they like you. 89 percent of boys want YOU to make the first move. It's impossible to apply mascra with your mouth closed. Chocolate will make you feel better. Most boys think its cute when you say the wrong thing. A good friend never judges. A good foundation will hide all hickeys...not that you have any. Boys aren't worth your tears. We all love surprises. Now, make a wish. Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and your wish will be granted.

If you have ever walked into a doorway that you could have clearly dodged but you werent paying close enough attention, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an iPod and love rocking out to it, post this in your profile.

If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur pro!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile (what's two squared?)

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile! (Especially the FREAKING BACKSPACE!!)

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you wish you could play a guitar, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you wish you could have told someone how you feel but didn't, copy and past this into your profile.

If you have a friend that you are crushing on right now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever embarrassed your self in front of your crush, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think copying and pasting all this crap that people tell you to copy and paste is a waste of time...copy and paste this into your profile.

Fave sayings and Quotes

~A day without sunshine is like...night.

~On the other hand, you have different fingers.

~42.7 percent of statistics are made up on the spot.

~Remember, half the people you know are below average.

~He who laughs last thinks slowest.

~The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

~A clear conscience is ususally a sign of a bad memory.

~Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

~How many of you believe in physokineses? Raise my hand. (I FINALLY GOT IT!)

~OK. . .so what's the speed of dark?

~When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

~Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

~Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have any film.

~What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

~Eagles may soar, but bunnies don't get sucked into jet engines.

~Why do psychics have to ask your name?

~Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

~Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

~Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it!

If you can't please them, provoke them!

If you can't convince them, confuse them!

Someday we'll look back at this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

If we quit voting will they all go away?

Parents spend the first years of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and then during the rest of our lives they tell us to sit down and shut up.

I love only to fall and I fall only in love.

I shattered like glass.

You're lying like a rug.

You're as shallow as a shower.

"If you're looking at a guy, you're blind to all his flaws, but when it's you you're looking at, flaws is all you see." - The Perfect Man

Music touches us, emotionally, where words can't.

If you're standing on a toilet, you're high on pot.

No matter how hard I try, I can't complete a thought without you interrupting it.

Keep friends close, keep enemies closer.

Welcome to the Ool. There's no "p" in it, lets keep it that way.

When I become a vampire, you'll be the first one I bite.

(O.o )

This is Bunny.
Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every piece of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when your evil, malicious best friend/cousin comes to visit for two weeks from across the country and gets you completely and utterly obsessed and addicted to a totally awesome book about vampires that you never thought you would like! Crazy is when on career day I said I was going to move to move to Greece the day I graduate and live on a beach writing stories on the back of paper bags and my best friend asked if she could come too. Crazy is when you go around to random people saying 'fish can't act' because your friend owns a fish named Hoover, who you swear is a vampire because he tries to make it look like he's breathing, really badly. Stand up in the middle of History and proclaim 'O, how fertile the young mind is' to the utter amusement of your teacher and bewilderment of your peers who don't know what fertile means. Crazy is when you use up half the beach to write the words Love, Friendship, Wish, Hope, Peace and Smile in huge letters in the sand, with a matching picture for each word and give dirty looks at random who walk through them. Crazy is when someone asks you a question about a Tortall character and you describe them and their lives in great detail, including their entire wardrobe and diet, then someone asks you what you had for breakfast and you stare blankly at them not having any idea. Crazy is when you wait till it starts raining to go to the pool and water park. Crazy is when you hide under a blanket because its too hot. Crazy is when you read a push sign then continue to look for the handle to pull for ten minutes. Crazy is when you read the pull sign again and again while trying to push the door open just to back up and run into the door as hard as you can. Crazy is sneaking out, driving three hours into town while you're on a camping trip just to go to a release party at a book store and trying to sneak back into camp an hour before sunrise with a stack of books clutched to your chest. Crazy is when people say you have multiple personalities that talk to each other and your mother can tell them apart. Crazy is when you get a new biology partner and scream OH MY GOD ITS EDWARD CULLEN! ... even if it’s a girl. Crazy is when you send an hour explaining the entire Twilight saga to your dad only to have him wake up from his nap and say "I really don't care and need to work so go bug someone else" (true story). Crazy is when you put on your favorite shirt, then yell at everybody in your house because you can't find your favorite shirt. ;)If you're crazy add on a sentence and post this in your account!! Go Crazy Peoples!!

Boys are like slinkeys. Completely useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! (go to davidandgolith.com if you want a shirt with this on it!awesome stie btw!)

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what your up too

Children... you spend 2 years teaching them how to walk and talk, you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

"Where's my tie?" "Check in the living room." "Why would my tie be in the living room?" "Because its seeing the doillie on the coffee table. I'm sorry. I didn't want you to find out this way."

Best friends through thick and thin!
If you cry, I cry,
If you laugh, I laugh,
If you fight, I got your back,
If you trip, I'll catch you when you fall,
If you jump off a bridge... Oh heck ,wait for me!

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
-I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile!

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism! And, you had better be agaist racism...ggrrr...

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Boy: No.
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No.
Girl: Choose—me or your life?
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and boy runs after and says..
The reason you don't cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason why I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life

“ What just happened here?”
“ I don’t know. I’ll tell you when I regain consciences.”

One of my best friends died recently; I'm really upset. He was such a great guy and I miss him. Maybe you knew of him. Most people did. I hope it wasn't you who contributed to his death, otherwise I shall dispatch a vicious band of lions to disembowel you. Okay, I don't have a troupe of lions at my disposal, but I can find one, trust me. My friend was a paragon of amazing. His name was Common Sense. I am sorry to inform you of his demise. Mourn with me.
Dearly beloved…we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here he lies…
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate and teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Rest In Peace, my old friend.

The World We Live In...
The World We Live In is a pretty amazing place...
It's where a man can't walk down the street holding his boyfriends hand without being called names...
It's a place where women are highly valued objects...
It's where people of different colours are treated like different species...
It's a place where we start wars over something we didn't need in the first place...
It's where homeless people sleep in the streets, while rich people step over them...
It's truly amazing the way we are heating up with our little conveniences, TVs, Cars, computers, just because people are too lazy to get solar panels...
It's a place where our role models are only famous because of the people they slept with...
It's where old men rule the old women, the young men, the young women, and the children and don't let any new ideas in...
It's a special place where it's normal to be overweight...
A truly wonderful world where three billion women feel inadequate because the models they look up to have just lost forty kilos thanks to a computer...
It truly is a wonderful, wonderful world- yep, just marvolous..

16 THINGS IM GOING TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" (BTW, I so have done it, hilarious..)
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"(heh heh heh)
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things

Annoying things to do on an elevator: read this!:) very funny!!
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.( I already do this. DUH!)
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.(wwwwwwoooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww...)

25 Things My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Things to Do in an Exam you Already Know That You are Going to Fail:

1.Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level. (how do you know that i haven't done it? ;)

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly. (...i can't even imagine what my school would do to me...)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.(my friend loves POTO, as I call Phantom of the Opera..)

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!(I've done this before, when me and my friend made up a languege...they made me stay all recess a do the test over. not very nice...)

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!" (i am so trying this...HA HA HA HA HA HA HA)

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect. ( a kid did this in my third grade class, oh my gosh was it funny...his older brother paid him twenty bucks to do it)

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

╔══╗
║██║CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT MUSIC!!
║(O)║

If your profile is long, copy and paste this onto it to make it even longer.

Food for thought requires a mind with teeth.

THIS STUFF IS SO COOL! And no, I didn't make it up.

(i got it off someone else's profile! he he sneaky aren't I?)

(")_(")
Copy Fluffy on to your profile to help him achieve world domination,
and come join the dark side.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

92 percent of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent of americans that would be laughing their butt off

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar,

or all of the above, copy this into your profile.

If you believe that the government should make levees and not war, copy & paste this in your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

And you can be my Vice President.

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend/s than copy this to your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! ( I personally used hyped, not hyper..just so people know)

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. (Why would you?)(I support them..)

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

I made it cool! DUH!!

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you have ever ran into a tree or anything else for that matter, copy and paste this into your profile.

If all your friends shake their heads and laugh at you when you tell them you read fanfiction copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate your school somtimes for any reason(too many tests, homework ect. ect.), copy and paste this to your profile. When we boycott school, we will know who to alley ourselves with...

If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for rainy days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :)

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't and doesn't plan to, put this in your profile.

You know you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) You don't read books anymore because you have fanfiction.

8.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

9.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

10.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

11.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

12.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

13.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

14.) You'd rather play on the computer then go out to play

Now, all these things are true.

And you know it.

Anything boys can do, girls can do better while wearing high heels.

When life gives me lemons, I make orange juice and leave the world to wonder how the hell I managed it

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isnt for yo

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday

Someday, we'll look on this, laugh nervously and change the subject

I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter

When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic.

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it

He who laughs last thinks slowest

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

I'm not cynical, everything just sucks

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good

I'm not as dumb as you look

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

Feel free to edit any of this and copy onto your profile.

LIVE TO LOVE AND LOVE TO LIVE!