Well howdy doo!!

IMPORTANT: if you think you can do a better job of my stories, be my guest! i love seeing my ideas in others works. I'm not joking either

If you hate it, recreate it.

One of my friends mess ups - "Hey lets go sit under that 'Keep Off' Sign!" (halarious!)

If you can read this put it on your page!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt!

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

- Unknown

Stereotypes:
(If you're against stereotypes, copy and paste this into your profile, and bold the ones that you identify with.)

I'm into THEATER AND ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish.
I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress.
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass.
I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant.
I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual.
I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict.
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian.
I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug-addicted hippie.
I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs.
I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life.
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up.
I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch.
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention.
I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean.
I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare.
I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend.
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy.
I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head.
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries.
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports.
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time.
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi.
I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I'm an OVER 16 YEAR OLD TEEN MALE signed with DISNEY, so I MUST be a GAY, CHILDISH FAG.
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life.
I'm a TEEN GIRL who likes to HAVE GOOD NATURED FUN with my FRIENDS, so I MUST be a WHORE, SLUT, and a LESBIAN.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too.
I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist.
I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd.
I FROWN a lot, so I MUST be a nerd.
I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try.
I like the JONAS BROTHERS, so I MUST be a TEENIE BOPPER, OBSESSED FAN GIRL.
I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans.
I'm a HANNAH MONTANA FAN, so I MUST be childish and immature.
I'm POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet.
I'm a TEENAGER who still likes the DISNEY CHANNEL, so I MUST be immature and childish
I don't have many friends, so I MUST be an emo goth who hates the world
I like sunlight, so I MUST be a vampire/werewolf slayer
I like the opera, so I MUST be an egotistical snob with way to much money
I have more than 5 friends, so I MUST be a prep
I wear pink, so I MUST be a rich preppy snob with family money
I like diamonds and pearls, so I MUST be controlling
I wear perfume, I MUST be a flirt

I Got This Off mElLiFlUoUsLy 's Page.

List 12 characters from your fandom in no particular order:

1. Embry

2. Jasper

3. Rosalie

4. Seth

5. Carlisle

6. Bella

7. Edward

8. Alice

9. Leah

10. Charlie

11. Billy

12. Emmett

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

a Bella/Billy fic, god no. That is wrong on so many levels shudder

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Seth? yeah, probably teehee. temerature hot, and otherwise.

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

ahahaha, Emmett got Alice pregnant!! that would be funny.

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

Leah? Yeah many fics about her, i would like more f/f ones for her though. oh well beggars can't be choosers.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

i have heard of Bella/Jasper ones, but i dont like them.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Carlisle/Leah or Carlisle/Charlie, woah, on a romance level, i would take the or, but probably father bonding between Carlisle and Charlie.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

ahahaha, he would be creeped out (Edward would) cuz who wants to see Jasper and Emmett going at it?

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.

Rosalie and Charlie? that just crossed the border of freaked out onto the land of mentally unstable.

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Alice/Embry? probably not.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

i dont know, 'Emmett/Edward brotherly comfort'? lame i know, but it fits

11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?

"Shoes" i'm not sure who its by though. ALICE

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Embry/Bella/Emmett too creepy for your own good.

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

For Carlisle? A long while ago i think, where Bella was Carlisle's daughter by blood.

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).”

Embry and Edward are in a happy relationship untill Edward runs off with Seth. Embry, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Billy and a brief unhappy affair with Emmett, then follows the wise advice of Carlisle and finds true love with Rosalie.

Weird stuff happening, excpessially with Billy. all guys exept for Rosalie.

INSULTS:

Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?

All day I thought of you...I was at the zoo.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

People like you are the reason I'm on medication.

Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide to bodies

Damn not you again...

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you abuse the privilege.

Earth is full. Go home.

God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes.

Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you're an idiot.

I'm not mean ... you're just a sissy.

Sorry I can't think of an insult stupid enough for you.

The Village just called. They said they were missing their town idiot

Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee

100 questions":

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? nope

2) Do you hate more than 3 people? nope, which is weird, I can't even find it in myself to hate my childhood nemisis

3) How many houses have you lived in? two, but I can only remember one.

4) Favorite candy bar? I don't like any, so yah

5) Favorite shoes? Not sure.

6) Have you ever tripped someone? Hellz yes, I trip everyone.

7) Least favorite school subject? Maths, hate it.

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? Hellz no

10) Have you ever thrown up in public? Yes, when I was a kid, in front of my classmates

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. Fanfictions, which seems kind of obsessorish, but I don't care.

12) Favorite genre of music? either Pop or Japanese Pop

13) What is your zodiac sign? Sagitarius all the way!

14) What time were you born? No clue, nighttime, though

15) Do you like beer? I havnt even tried it before

16) Ever made a prank phone call? Yeah, exept it was my friends and I had no part of it.

17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Australia Idol Top 12, probably.

18) Are you sarcastic? Not usually, but theres nothing like a little sarcastic wit to lighten up ones day.

19) What are your favorite colors? GREEN

20) How many watches do you own? well, none really. I keep breaking them, my last one had the screen smashed.

21) Summer or winter? Summer all the way man.

23) Favorite color to wear? Green and Brown

24) Pepsi or Sprite? Sprite

25) What color is your cell phone? RED, bright red

26) Where is your second home? My friends house.

27) Have you ever slapped someone? No but my friend has for a play, litterally.

28) Have you ever had a cavity? Nope, and I don't want one

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? Two, one for me and one for my sister who shares my room.

30) How many video games do you own? Own only 1, but my family has over 10

31) What was your first pet? A fish, families pet was a cat names George, but my fish (Mr Fishy and Squishy) were mine and mine alone.

32) Ever had braces? No

33) Do looks matter? No, not to me, but they do help.

34) Do you use chapstick? Not really.

35) Name 3 teachers from your High School. Mr. Schmarr, Mrs Irvine, Mrs Mackie

36) American Eagle or Abercombie? huh? I'm not american

37) Are you too forgiving? Uh. . . duh, I can't even hate my childhood nemisis.

38) How many children do you want? 2-3, cuz I'm a kid lover, but not that much.

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? I havnt been in a Hot Topic.

40) Favorite breakfast meal? Pancakes with Vegemite

41) Do you own a gun? god no.

42) Ever thought you were in love? nope, I've been in Lust but love an lust are different.

43) When was the last time you cried? not too long ago, I'm a wimp, I cry at many things.

44) What did you do 3 nights ago? had dinner, and then studied for a test. i'm so boring.

45) Olive Garden? La Panera? huh?

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? nope, I am proud to say that i have never called a teacher Mommy. . . Daddy on the other hand. . .

47) Have you ever been in a castle? nope.

48) Nicknames? CCL (Crazy Cat Lady), Camel Spit (don't ask).

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? Ha, no, I wish.

50) Ever been to Kentucky? nope, never been to america remember?

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? huh?

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? the bane of my existance, Fred (he is a cat, a very grumpy, mean, old cat)

53) Have you ever called someone Boo? no way jose

55) Do you own a diamond ring? I wish

56) Are you happy with your life right now? not really, I feel very down and like I'm doing nothing with my life.

57) Do you dye your hair? I'm gunna, multicoloured in fact, but no.

58) Does anyone like you? not that I know of. I have friends but I'm pretty sure thats not the kinda 'like' youre after.

59) What year were you born? 19-not-gunna-say

60) What were you doing in May of 1994? nope, can't remember.

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? my sister does, I want to burn the CD

62) McDonalds or Wendys? Who's Wendy?

63) Do you like yourself? Fairly well, yes I do.

64) Are you closer to your mother or father? Mother, my Father is a bastard

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? hmm, I'm not sure, I guess it has to be attitude, then again it does not have to be the opposite sex for me teehee

66) Are you afraid of the dark? yes, I don't know why though.

67) Have you ever eaten paste? nope, I don't want to

68) Do you own a webcam? no

69) Have you ever stripped? No

70) Ever broke a bone? No

72) Do you chat on AIM often? No

73) Pringles or Lays? Pringles

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? No, I hope not

75) Rugrats or Doug? Rugrats, whats Doug?

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? Huh?

77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? I havnt meet her.

78) Has anyone ever called you fat? no, quite the opposite, at family reunions they always say I need fattening up.

79) Do you have a birth mark? yes, I believe it is on my head.

80) Do you own a car? Not old enough yet

81) Can you cook? no, I burn water, and let me tell you, it is not easy

82) 3 things that annoy you:

1. "Are you alright?"

2. peer pressure

3. bad fake accents

83) Do you text message often? No

84) Money or love? Love, hands down

85) Do you have any scars? ooh, I have one above my eye, from when the boot of the car fell on me.

86) What do you want more than anything right now? to get a drink, I'm gunna finish this first.

87) Do you enjoy scary movies? Hate them, just the meer mention of them and I'm in goosepimples.

88) Relationships or one night stands? Relationship would be better.

89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? huh?

90) Do you enjoy greasy food? god no, so gross. Vege's all the way!

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? no.

92) Do you own a box of crayons? No, I want some.

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? my parentals

95) Who was the last person that made you mad? my childhood nemisis, I mention her alot don't I? she was a nasty little critter, read my diary out in front of the class too.

96) Who was the last person that made you cry? hmm, noone has made me cry, but books have.

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? my friend, she is halarious

98) Who was the last person that you fell for? Chris

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? my friend

100) Who was the last person that called you? i called them

I commend ye for getting this far. Ye be warned.

'Tis all for now!

Toodlepip