I just have nothing else to put here.

DeviantART:

FRIENDS

Lend you their umbrella

BEST FRIENDS:

Take yours and say 'RUN girl RUN!'

FRIENDS:

Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS:

Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS:

Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandma, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS:

Call your parents DAD and MOM and GRAMS, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS:

Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS:

Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME"

FRIENDS:

Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS:

Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS:

Ask you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS:

Have you on speed dial.

FRIENDS:

Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS:

Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS:

Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS:

Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS:

Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS:

Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:

Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS:

Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS:

You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS:

Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS:

Are only through school/college.

BEST FRIENDS:

Are for life.

FRIENDS:

Will comfort you when the guy rejects you

BEST FRIENDS:

Will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

FRIENDS:

Will help you when you're lost

BEST FRIENDS:

Will be giving you bad directions and screwing with your compass

FRIENDS:

Will go with you to a concert

BEST FRIENDS:

Will be helping you kidnap the band

FRIENDS:

Will hide you from the cops

BEST FRIENDS:

Are probably the reason they are after you

FRIENDS:

Will buy you a pregnancy test

BEST FRIENDS:

Will be standing outside the bathroom door screaming, "Name it after me!"

FRIENDS:

Find your Prince Charming

BEST FRIENDS:

Find him, kidnap him and then bring him to you

FRIENDS:

Will pick you up when you fall down

BEST FRIENDS:

Will pick you up, then trip you again

FRIENDS:

Borrow your stuff for a few days then return it

BEST FRIENDS:

Have had your stuff for so long they've forgotten it's yours

FRIENDS:

Will leave when they feel insulted

BEST FRIENDS:

Will forgive you even if you don't know what you said wrong

FRIENDS:

Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying

BEST FRIENDS:

Will cry with you and then go beat up the sorry loser who made you cry

FRIENDS:

Will offer you a soda

BEST FRIENDS:

Will dump theirs on you

FRIENDS:

Will sit at the side of the pool with you when it's that time of the month

BEST FRIENDS:

Will throw you a tampon and push you in

FRIENDS:

Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough

BEST FRIENDS:

Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Girl, drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste that kind of shit!"

FRIENDS:

Will be crying at your funeral

BEST FRIENDS:

Will be sitting in jail for killing the guy who murdered you

FRIENDS:

Would ignore this letter

BEST FRIENDS:

Will repost this crap!

Girl Comebacks!

Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together. Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes, they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell.

Girls, copy and paste this on your profile!

The Lessons Warriors Has Taught Us :

1. Violence doesn't solve all problems, but it does solve some. And they should be solved very violently.
2. Cats can have accents.
3. Old people are funny.
4. If your girlfriend dies, the default response is to sleep with her sister.
5. No matter how right you are, you're still wrong in some way.
6. Your logic doesn't have to make sense if you're angry enough.
7. Always use a condom.
8. Killing your half-brother solves all of your problems for 6-12 months.
9. Having fangirls gives you the right to do virtually anything without being considered evil *cough*Ashfur*cough*Scourge*cough*.
10. There are no limits to how homoerotically you can kill your own brother.
11. Casual racism is socially acceptable. More severe racism is less approved of, but still allowed. Only outright genocide crosses the line.
12. Most children in southern England will squeal when they see a cat.
13. Good is cute/handsome; Evil is sexy.
14. Highly organized colonies of feral cats have been living in the English countryside for over 40 years without being noticed by anyone.
15. Cats are really good at cleaning up massive bloodstains.
16. If you eat too much fish, your blood tastes fishy.
17. Its possible to complain about anything.
18. All barn cats are gay.
19. Happy endings are unrealistic.
20. No matter how depressed you get, there is always a way to become more emo.
21. Plans that rely on the cooperation of others have a tendency not to work.
22. God isn't going to do anything for you because He wants you to maintain both the freedom and the capacity to just get off your lazy ass and do it yourself.
23. Gaining nine lives causes you to die nine times as frequently as everyone else.
24. Major antagonists have a tendency to die the most violent deaths imaginable.
25. The object that cats should fear the most is a purple pen.
26. Life: You don't win. You break even. At best.
27. It's possible to not notice that you are pregnant.
28. It's possible to make multiple AMVs of a series with only one episode worth of clips.
29. The general public doesn't know anything.
30. People who secretly want to have sex with you make the best evil minions.
31. The default response to being dumped by someone is to devote yourself to making them watch their family die slow, painful deaths.
32. If you try hard enough, you can be pregnant and give birth without anyone noticing.
33. People named after plants tend to be red herrings. People named after animals are the real deal.
34. Don't fight the system, no matter how messed up it is.
35. Stars are really the spirits of dead cats.
36. War crimes are perfectly fine if God tells you to commit them.
37. Just because someone has gone to hell doesn't mean you don't have to deal with them anymore.
38. The width of someone's shoulders is a good indicator of how strong and experienced they are.
39. Don't mess with beavers.
40. Thunderstorms are inherently dramatic.
41. Forbidden relationships happen about as often as socially legitimate ones.
42. Breaking the rules is bad. Bending the rules is good.
43. Virginity is overrated.
44. If you're ever near death or dying, you will survive anyway.
45. Most people would listen to Hitler if he was nice to them.
46. If you start to see a red haze, stop what you are doing.
47. Lying is the most evil thing ever.
48. The happier your relationship, the more tragically it will end.
49. Incest doesn't count if it isn't immediately noticeable.
50. If you play with your food, and owl will come and eat you.

There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished
that her dad would come home from
the army, because he'd been having
problems with his heart and right
leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made
her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes
later), the doorbell rang, and
there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
having trouble in my job and on the
verge of quitting. I made a simple
wish that my boss would get a new
job. That was at 1:35 and at 1:55
there was an announcement that he
was promoted and was leaving for
another city. Believe me...this
really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years
of age. I had always been single
and had been hoping to get into a
nice, loving relationship for many
years. While kind of daydreaming
(and right after receiving this email)
I wished that a quality person would
finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM
a FedEx delivery man came into my
office.He was cute, polite and
could not stop smiling at me. He
started coming back almost everyday
(even without packages) and asked me
out a week later. We married 6
months later and now have been
happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but
while you do, think of a wish.
Make your wish when you have completed
scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the
number of minutes it will take for your
wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years
old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
to come true).

I'm R4zorSt4r. I wished I could save a life.

About 12 minutes later I saw my cat that had ran

away when I was 10. She was torn and bleeding

but I brought her to the vet (In my pajamas)

She lives with me happily now, soon she can get her stitches out!

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

-When nothing goes right... go left.

-Be strong now because things will get better it might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever. unknown

-There's always a little truth behind every

'just kidding'

A little knowledge behing every

'i don't know,'

a little emotion behind every

'i don't care,'

and a little pain behind every

'It's okay."

-Good friends are like stars. You can't allways see them, but you know thery're always there.

-one word making us all wish we were blind: Speedo.

-Worst time to have a heart attack: during a game of charades.

-If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you.

-I ROCK! Guitar hero told me.

-its hard waiting for something you know you'll never have, but it's even harder to give up something you know is all you want.

-I tried being normal, but I didn't like it.

-I was going to kill the ugliest person alive but then I thought I'd let your mom live one more day

-There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. And I'm not so sure about the universe.

-Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.

-Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

-You always get whats coming to you; unless it gets lost in the mail.

-Flying is not inherently dangerous-- crashing is.

-I have animal magnetism- when I go outside, squirrels stick to my sleeves.

-The trouble with real life is that there is no background music

-I have not lost my mind; its backed up on a disk somewhere

-Beware the letter 'G'. It is the end of everything.

-Forecast for tonight: darkness

-If you try to fail and succeed, which one did you do?

-I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

-Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

-How come when you mix water with flour, you get glue and then when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go?

-If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something

-Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

-There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

-I'm the kind of person who walks into a chair and apologizes

-If you had a life you would stop talking about mine

-We're not retreating! We're advancing in a different direction!

-Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking

-The below statement is true:

-The above statement is false

-Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies

-Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? Take him into a round room and tell him to sit in a corner.

-In a world of Cheerios, be a Froot Loop!

-Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later.

-God must love stupid people...he made so many

-There is no great genius without a mixture of madness

-When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

-You, you, and you panic. The rest of you follow me.

-Lately the only thing keeping me from becoming a serial killer is my dislike for manual labor.

-If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense

-One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

-I'm mature and you're not. Nah nah nah nah nah nah!

-Eat healthy. Work right. Die anyway.

-I have a dream and in it, something eats you.

-Its sad your own mom dresses you like that.

-Everyone is beautiful on the inside. If you think bones and guts are beautiful.

-If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the heck are you scared?!

-I met Nicole Richie!! No wait, that might've been a twig...

-Looking for a perfect girl? Go buy yourself a barbie doll.

-If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.

-I know KUNG-FU... and 42 other dangerous words

-Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhh its a secret!

-Quick, whats the number for 9-1-1?

-You should always proofread what you write in case you any words.

-I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you.

-I ran into my ex today. Then I put it in reverse and hit him again.

-By the time you finished reading this you'll realize you just wasted 5 seconds of your life

-Hi! I'm human. What're you?

-Have you considered suing your brain for non-support?

-Everyone has a right to be ugly, but you're abusing that privilege.

-If we were to kill everyone who thought you were stupid, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

-I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

-Wherever there is life there is love.

-I may not be perfect but at least I'm confident.

-Sometimes all we need are each other.

-Life is like a circle. No wonder I'm so dizzy.

-Yeah I'm a loser, but I'm the coolest loser you'll ever meet.

-Boys break hearts so why don't girls break their necks?

-One night, I looked up into the sky. I began counting the reasons why I love you. I was doing great until I ran out of stars.

-When they laugh, we'll laugh along too. Because we know better. We know.

-I wanted to send you something AWESOME... but the mail man told me to get out of the mail box...

-I'm NOT SHORT!! ... I'm fun sized!

-Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses!

-When you call us weird we just look at each other and crack up, because we knew that WAAAAAAAAAAY BEFORE YOU DID!

-We are the people our parents warned us about!

-Someone told me its illegal to kill someone for pissing you off...crap...!

-I have the kind of friends where if my house was burning down, they'd be roasting marshmallows and flirting with the firemen! (Yeah and they probably start it too..)

-RAWR!! That means I love you in dinosaur!

-Grant me the serenity to accept things I can not change... And the shovel to hide the bodies of those who piss me off...

-Its not that I'm not a “people person”... its just that I'm not a “stupid people person”.

-Lets play Simon Says! Simon Says... GO CRAP YOURSELF!!

-You and me are friends. You fight, I fight. You hurt, I hurt. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge... I'm gonna miss your dumb butt!

-I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a naughty girl. I will not be a... aww, who am I kidding?!

-If I promise not to kill you... can I have a hug?

-I don't have a short attention span, I just... Oh look a kitty!

-Hmmmmmmmm. Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to heaven?

-Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid!

-They keep saying the right person will come along... I think a truck hit mine!

-It's better to have loved and lost then to live with the PSYCHO the rest of your life!

-Only You... can help me hide the bodies!

-I'm smiling cause I'm your sister, I'm laughing cause theres nothing you can do about it!

-When I die, I'm going to haunt the CRAP out of you people!

-Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

-Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Apple a day keeps the docter away, but if the doctor is cute, HA, screw the fruit!

-Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

-I'm so gangster: I carry a squirt gun

-If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

-They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

-Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

-I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

-Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.

-I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

-lottery: a tax on people who don’t understand statistics.

-If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

-Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.

-I laugh in the face of death...maybe not laugh more like a snicker...a quiet snicker, and I wouldn't do it directly in death's face so, it's more like a quiet snicker behind death's back.

-I know at least three people who would love to push me down the stairs.

-I'm the girl that when my feet touch the ground in the morning the devil says; "OH CRAP SHE'S UP!"

-I'm busy, your ugly. Have a nice day.

-I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

-I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

-Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

-You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

-I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

-When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

-Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

-What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

-My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

-When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

- it takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to slap someone.

-one day we'll look back ont this , laugh nervously, and change the subject.

-person #1: happiness is just around the corner. Person #2: too bad the earth is round.

-im a squirrel, wat do u think im doing?

-you cry, i cry. you laugh i laugh. you fall off a cliff i laugh even harder.

-when life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in life's eye and say "how'd ya like that life!!"

-im sorry, im all out of advice right now. can i interest you in sarcastic comment?

-i only please one person per day. today isnt your day and tomorrow isnt lokking so good either.

- i dont run away from you. i walk away slowly and it kills me that you dont care enough to stop me.

-i dont miss you. i miss the person i thought you were.

-on the outside im smiling, but on the inside im dying.

-hey, hey you. yeah you. no, not you. yes you. do you like tacos?

-kids are the future. be afraid. be very afraid.

-dont ask questions. you annoy me enough already.

-its mind over matter. i dont mind and you dont matter.

-never knock on deaths door. ring the door bell and run. he hates it when people do that.

-10% sugar, 10% spice, 80% demon child so you better be nice.

-who cares about hug????????? if i see ya ima gonna tackle ya!

-a friend helps you find ur prince charming; best friends kidnaps him and bring him to you.

-people who say anything is possible, havent tried slamming a revolving door.

-anyone who uses the phrase "its like taking candy from a baby" havent tried taking candy from a baby.

-he who stands on a windowsill to see how far he can lean without falling is a idiot.

-if you cant convice them, confuse them.

-i called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

-dont follow in my footsteps; i run into walls.

-sometimes i wonder 'why is the frissbee getting bigger?' then i get hit i the face.

-you have the right to remian silent, anything you say will be misquoted and then used against you.

-im going on a quest to the deepest drakest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor". a long and difficult journey waits me, wish me luck, for i may not ruturn alive.

- i burst out laughing in class today... i got that joke you told yesterday

-i dont obsess, i think intensely.

-goldfish have the memory span of 3 seconds. sometimes i hav to wonder if im a goldfish.

-a day without laugh is a seriously wasted boring day.

- the dinosaurs' extinction wasnt a accident. barney came and they all committed suicide.

-violence is not the answer... though it is a fun alternative.

-life would be nothing with music.

-being weird is like being normal, only better.

-life is a pack of gum... i have yet to figure out why.

-one day your prince will come. mine? oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

-of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most.

-its funny- the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.

-im not laughing at you. im laughing with you, you're just not laughing.

-its is better to hav loved and lost than to hav never loved at all.

- im the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of silence cuz of something that happened yesterday.

- a stranger stabs you in the front, a friend stabs you in the back, a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

-people who dont know me think im quiet; people who do wish i was.

-smile. it makes people wonder what you're up to.

-lifes not passing by, its trying to run me over.

-im not clusmsy. the floor just hates me.

-my knight in shining armor turned out to be a jerk in aluminum foil.

-we interupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating

-give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them to use the internet and they wont bother you for weeks

-remember what you said ccuz tomorrow im gonna have a sarcasitc and witty comeback and you'll be devastated then

-if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

-i didnt trip, i was just testing gravity... it still works.

-People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world

-Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

-The toothfairy teaches kids it's okay to sell body parts.

-I'm not crazy. My reality is just different then yours.

-im not random, u just cant think as fast as me.

-Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

-I was about to take over the world, but I got distracted when I saw something shiny.

-Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot.

-Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

-God created man-THEN (oh yeah THEN...) had a better idea!

-Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

-Your year book picture still haunts me.

-A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

-You don't like me, well it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

-364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

-You're a speacial kind of stupid, aren't you?

-Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

-Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

-Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

-So what if we act like imature idiots? We're having fun.

-I like work. It fasinates me. I can sit and stare at it for hours.

-Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

-A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

-I DON'T obsess! I think intensley...and like all the time

-Jogging is a slow sprinting, Coach!

-If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to?

-I have CDO. It's like OCD but all of the letters are in alphabetical order...like they should be.

-it takes serious skill to trip over the following: leaf, acorn, rock, yourself.

-It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

-I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

-They never suspect the short one.

-Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

-Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?

-Stereotyping? How do you type with a stereo?

-I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face.

-You're a great friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

-DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S...tell your friends.

-Automatic doors make me feel like a JEDI!!

-Hey stupid! Your sock is untied...

-If my calculations are correct...slinkies escalator = EVERLASTING FUN!!

-Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

-Ever notice that studying is "student" and "dying" put together?

-Owww! Charlie!! Charlie bit me...

-Procrastinators; the leaders of tomorrow.

-tu madre es tan gorda que hizo una ola cuando se lanzó al agua. You just got burnt in spanish.

-Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

-Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is.

-Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

-We're so cool ice cubes are jealous.

-It's okay pluto. I'm not a planet either.

-Ever wonder why bologna and lasagna don't rhyme?

-Laughing until your stomach hurts is what friends are for.

-If people were all meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

-On a scale of 1 to crazy I'm a penguin.

-If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

-I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicated. Haven't they met themselves?

-I see no good reason to act my age.

-Be a dork!! Because being cool is overrated.

-At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?

-Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

-Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

-Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would you keep looking after I found it?

-Your laughing now because your older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

-When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

-When your down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I'll be willing to lay down right next to you.

-You don't die of a broken heart... you only wish you did.

-Sticks and stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within.

-sticks and stone may break my bones but... words will slice my soul. or something.

-Its not until you're broken that you know what you're made of.

-There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

-heaven doesnt want me and hell is afraid i'll take over.

-friends ask why you're crying; best friends already hav a shovel to bury the loser that made you cry.

HAI! HOW RU?

Funny, stupid things I REALLY want to do:

Walk around in white T-Shirts with LIFE on them and hand out lemons saying "Life just gave you lemons."

Look at a statue of a dog or cat and yell "FLUFFY! I told you not to look at the snake-person!"

Sing the rap part of Stereo Hearts on the side of the street while handing out hearts colored to look like radios.

Find a random guy and say "IT'S HIM! I FOUND HIM! OMG CAN I HAVE A PICTURE?"

Introduce random people to my imaginary friend

When I voice speaks over the intercom at a food market fall to the floor and shriek "THE VOICES! THEY FOUND ME! TAKE JUSTIN BEIBER! NOT ME!"

Ask random strangers to brohoof.

I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the world that can look back at their own life and say:

I kidnapped Ryan Cecrest.

Did u know before u go to sleep at night there is one person of the opposite gender is thinking of you .they want to kiss you ,they want to be with you they are always thinking about you bfore they go to sleep at night they are longing to be with you this is not at all fake if you post within 5 mins the person who is longing for you will approach you in 1 month and ask you out or grab you and kiss you . but if u break this chain no1 will ask u out in 5 years. Guys don't do this why did I even put this on my profile, it didn't work. Gah, I'm an idiot.

Troll traits (found on Tumblr)

Karkat Vantas

[ ] Cancer is your zodiac sign
[ ] You hate the color red
[ ] You love RIDICULOUSLY TERRIBLE ROMANTIC MOVIES AND ROMCOMS
[X] You like to program computers
[X] You fail at it
[X] YOU LIKE TO TYPE IN CAPS
[ ] You don’t put up with anyone’s bullshit
[ ] You love to argue and support your arguments with empty logic
[ ] You never smile
[ ] You get aggravated easily
[ ] You act like an asshole but deep down you care for your friends
[ ] You have problems with relationships

TOTAL: 3

Vriska Serket

[ ] Scorpio is your zodiac sign
[ ] Dark blue, is your fav color
[ ] You love to role play
[ ] You like spiders
[ ] You like end of the world scenarios such as the Zombie Apocalypse, Fall out invasion, etc.
[ ] Magic 8 balls are cool
[ ] You are very manipulative
[ ] You are a huge bitch
[ ] You easily get bored
[ ] You blame your problems on other things, such as “bad luck”
[ ] You have an addiction to breaking things
[ ] You never clean up after yourself

Total: 0

Tavros Nitram

[ ] Taurus is your zodiac sign
[ ] Your fav color is orange and/or brown
[X] You love FAIRY TALES AND FANTASY STORIES (Does Warriors Cats count?)
[ ] You love card and role playing games
[ ] You believe in FAIRIES, even though they AREN’T REAL.
[ ] You are too sensitive
[ ] You never really “hate” anybody.
[ ] You like to communicate with wildlife
[ ] You have a friendly attitude
[ ] You are pretty good at poetry
[ ] You LARP
[ ] You sometimes stutter when you talk

Total: 6

Terezi Pyrope

[X] Libra is your zodiac sign
[X] Your fav color is red and/or teal
[X] You are more interested in taste and smell then sight
[X] You love dragons
[X] You lov3 to sp34k 1n l33t h3h3h3 (Look at my username, this was before I knew who she was.)
[X] You love plushies (If only you could see my closet...)
[X] You love to roleplay (I do on skype with myself to weird my friends out XD)
[ ] You are a sociopath
[X] You are almost always grinning
[X] You take interest in law and justice (I wanna be lawyer so when my brother needs me I can tell the judge HE DID IT!)
[X] You like to draw
[ ] You can be really flirty sometimes (I don't have much intrest in dating actually.

Total: 2

Kanaya Maryam

[ ] Virgo is your zodiac sign
[ ] Your fav color is jade
[ ] You love fashion
[ ] You love LIVELY COLORFUL PATTERNS
[ ] You love to sew
[ ] You love literature
[ ] You have no problem getting into fights
[X] Chainsaws are awesome
[ ] You like make up
[ ] You are a pretty creative person when it comes down to it
[ ] You like the taste of blood
[X] Getting revenge is always high on your list (Through pranks, I wouldn't kill anyone. Yet.)

Total: 2

Aradia Megido

[ ] Aries is your zodiac sign
[ ] Maroon is your fav color
[ ] You inadvertently make frog noises
[ ] 0_0 is your fav emote
[ ] You like ARCHEOLOGY
[ ] You like to destroy things out of boredom
[ ] You can hear voices that no one else can hear
[ ] You used to roleplay
[ ] You are obsessed with temporal inevitability
[ ] You are a very violent and confrontational person
[ ] You’re sometimes spooky in appearance
[ ] You love talking about depressing things

total: 0

Equius Zahhak

[ ] Sagittarius is you zodiac sign
[ ] Your fav color is royal blue
[ ] You have a widow’s peak
[ ] You sweat a lot
[ ] You love being strong
[X] You SUCK AT ARCHERY
[ ] You have a great appreciation for THE FINE ARTS.
[ ] Practically everything MAKES YOU FURIOUS
[ ] You have so much rage, it can only be expressed through STAGGERING QUANTITIES OF PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.
[ ] You like to build things
[ ] You have some pretty strange fetishes
[ ] You love playing high stakes games

total: 1

Nepeta Leijon

[ ] Leo is you zodiac sign
[ ] Your fav color is green
[X] You love cats
[ ] :3 is your fav emote
[ ] You are into furries
[X] You love to draw
[X] You have a heightened sense of smell
[ ] You are freaking obsessed with friendly role-playing
[ ] You have a naive view of everything
[ ] You love “OTP” (one true pairing)
[ ] You are just too cute
[ ] And very playful

total: 3

Sollux Captor

[ ] Gemini is your zodiac sign
[ ] Your fav color is yellow
[ ] You speak with a bit of a lisp
[ ] You are totally sick hacker
[ ] You have bi polar mood swings
[ ] You are pretty introverted
[ ] You beat yourself up over little things
[ ] You like to keep everything mismatched such as your clothing
[ ] You think you are not good enough
[ ] You’d rather be technical then use brute force
[ ] You think you have voices in your head, but it really is just your paranoia
[ ] Your best friend is a dick

total: 0

Feferi Peixes

[ ] Pisces is your zodiac sign
[ ] Your fav color is magenta
[ ] You love wearing colorful clothing
[X] You love to swim
[ ] You get really excited easily
[ ] You are very very perky and energetic
[ ] You are optimistic and fearless
[ ] You are stronger than you look
[ ] You love looking after animals
[ ] You are very modest
[ ] You have a pretty good tolerance when it comes to annoying things
[ ] You have a slightly rude and insulting side

total: 1

Eridan Ampora

[ ] Aquarius is your zodiac sign
[ ] Your fav color is purple
[ ] You dress flamboyantly
[ ] You have an affection for tales of historical leaders, conquerors, and military history.
[ ] You have a massive ego
[ ] You love magic and wizards
[ ] You have a genocide complex
[ ] You swear like a sailor
[ ] You try to make friends with everybody regardless of their opinion of you
[ ] You get jealous a lot
[ ] You are romantically lost
[ ] You are kind of a tool

total: 2

Gamzee Makara

[ ] Capricorn is your zodiac sign
[ ] Your fav color is indigo
[ ] You like clowns
[ ] You like sweet things
[ ] You like to bake
[ ] You are pretty laid back
[ ] You don’t like knowing the technology or science behind things
[ ] You are impulsive and/or unpredictable
[ ] You are silly and eccentric
[ ] You like insane clown posse
[X] You cuss a lot
[ ] You are a stoner

total: 1

Me and Terezi are very alike, should I be worried?

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

Randomly List 12 Homestuck Characters:

1. Terezi

2. Karkat

3. Sollux

4. Vriska

5. Tavros

6. John

7. Dave

8. Bec Noir

9. PM

10. Equius

11. Nepeta

12. Latula

1.) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

John/Nepeta? Nah, it prob exists though

2.) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

If I were a lesbian, I would most likely think so.

3.) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Latula got Bec Noir pregnant? OH BOI. ITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN.

4.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?

Yeah, I've seen a few, never read one though. Maybe I should. The one I saw was PM/WV

5.) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

ITS JOHNKAT BITCHES.

6.) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Tavros and Equius I guess, Tavros and PM makes no sense.

7.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Dave walking in on Latula and Karkat having sexytimes hmm? I'm pretty sure he would report back to Terezi like "Karkat bangin' your ancestor."

8.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.

Equius was walking down the road when he sees Sollux, he was so mesmerized he got hit by a car without ever noticing. Equius dies.

9.) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?

Terezi and Bec Noir? No... But knowing this messed up fandom I'm most likely wrong.

10.) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

Dave/Latula? I have no freaking idea.

11.) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

Vriska and Terezi? I-I don't even...

12. Does anyone on your friend list read Seven slash?

Dave slash? None of my friends read Homestuck... It sucks I know.

13.) Does anyone on your friend list read Three het?

None of my friends read Homestuck...

14.) Does anyone on your friend list write or draw Eleven?

Of course! ITS FREAKING NEPETA.

15.) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?

Karkat/Vriska/Tavros? OH MAI. Not that I know of XD

16.) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

D-- I REQUIRE A TOWEL!

17.) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Probably something like, Shadows by Red, or Volitile Times by whoever.

18.) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Terezi/John/Latula? OH MAI. Warning: I have no idea what I just wrote, be prepared for mind-rape.

19.) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

Redbl00d? I would like to ask- SHUT THE FUCK UP EQUIUS.

20.) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

ABOUT five? Never actually :(

21.) What's Six's super-secret kink?

ITS THE BUCK TEETH YO.

22.)Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?

Nepeta shag PM? I-I don't even

23.) If Three and Seven got together, who would top?

Sollux and Dave? I-I actually have no idea.

24.) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.

Terezi and PM are in a happy relationship (WAT! NO!! SOLREZI NOT PMREZI) until PM suddenly runs off with Vriska. (WAT) Terezi, broken hearted has a hot one-night stand with Nepeta (I DONT EVEN) and an unhappy affair with Latula. (Oh mai gawd.) Terezi then follows the wise advice of Tavros and find true love with Sollux (YESSSSSSSSSS OT FREAKING P)

I'm quite pleased with this ending. Thank you Tavros.

25.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

Dave/Bec Noir? OH MAI.

Randomly List 12 of your Favorite Characters:

1. Twilight Sparkle

2. Karkat

3. Sollux

4. Terezi

5. Graystripe

6. John

7. Dave

8. Fluttershy

9. Wheatley

10. Bramblestar

11. Nepeta

12. Princess Luna

1.) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

John/Nepeta? Nah, it prob exists though

2.) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Terezi? No, She's still my favorite troll though.

3.) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Princess Luna gets Fluttershy pregnant? OH MAI GAWD.

4.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?

No, I don't really read to many portal fics.

5.) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

ITS JOHNKAT BITCHES.

6.) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

WAT

NONONONONONONONO

THEY BOTH SUCK.

7.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Dave walking in on Karkat and Princess Luna having bedfun? OH BOI.

8.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.

Sollux one day wakes up as a cat in Thunderclan, and a certain dark tabby's caught his eye...

9.) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?

Flutters and Twilight? Duh.

10.) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

After being on the moon for so long, maybe only a certain coolkid can cheer Luna up.

(XD I'm writing a ponystuck fic and I am so shipping this)

11.) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

TEREZI SPARKLE. OH BOI. I DONT EVER EVEN WANT.

12. Does anyone on your friend list read Seven slash?

Dave slash? None of my friends read Homestuck... I said this before.

13.) Does anyone on your friend list read Three het?

None of my friends read Homestuck!

14.) Does anyone on your friend list write or draw Eleven?

Of course! ITS FREAKING NEPETA. NEEEPPPEEETTTAAA. Although none of my friends read homestuck XD

15.) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?

Karkat Terezi and Graystripe? HEELLL NAO.

16.) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

I don't even. It's a cat, he'd probably just yowl, y'know, like a cat.

17.) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Something quiet, and nice. This is Flutters we're talkin' about.

18.) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Twilight, John, and Luna? OH MAI.

19.) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

Bramblestar has a mate already... Why would he want Karkat?

20.) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

A while ago.

21.) What's Six's super-secret kink?

ITS THE BUCK TEETH YO. IM TELLIN' YOU.

22.)Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?

Nepeta shag Wheatley? I-I don't even. *Cries in corner*

23.) If Three and Seven got together, who would top?

Sollux and Dave? I-I actually have no idea. I dont want to know.

24.) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.

Twilight and Wheatley are in a happy relationship (Wat) until Wheatley suddenly runs off with Terezi. (WAT) Twilight, broken hearted has a hot one-night stand with Nepeta (I DONT EVEN) and an unhappy affair with Luna. (Oh mai gawd.) Terezi then follows the wise advice of Graystripe and find true love with Sollux (I KNEW THAT SHIP COULD SAIL)

25.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

Dave/Fluttershy? OH MAI.