Six Truths In Life:

1) You can't stick you're tongue up and look at the ceiling at the same time: a physical imposibility.

2) All idiots will try to prove me wrong.

3) And discover that it's a lie.

4)You are smiling because you're a PURE idiot.

5) You will soon post this for another idiot to see.

6) There is still a stupid smile on you're face.

I sincerely apologize about this but I am an idiot and i needed company ;)

If you count as an idiot, post this onto your profile!

Everytime you play Harry Potter, you end up saying, "Gryffindors at HEART; Slytherins SUCK balls; Hufflepuffs eat DUST 'cause they're DUFFERS; Ravenclaws are SUCKERS that have no LIFE except for READING and STUDYING!" Mhmm, my friend is a very duffed hufflepuff. I'M A GRYFFFINDOR, BEAT HER AT QUIDDITCH! ;D

You know you're too obsessed with Harry Potter when:

1) You accidently called your friend Ginny/Lily because she has red hair. (check)

2) Instead of studying for an extra important exam, your reading HP. (check)

3) Your Sims game has a whole neighborhood devoted to the wizarding world. (check! ;)

4) Your friends give you the look when you say 'Harry'. (check)

5) Your sister thinks your really a witch in disguise. (check)

5) You dress up as a HP character and practice wandless magic. (check)

6) When your cell phone and you're doing you're homework, you absentmindingly wave your pencil and say, "Accio phone!"

7) You fall out of your chair in class because your daydreaming about Harry Potter.

8) Your parents have banned Harry Potter books from your possession.

9) You scream whenever you see anything Harry Potter.

10) You screamed when you and a friend were at the mall and you saw a Harry Potter book countdown poster.

11) Your friend knows exactly what to get you for your birthday, every year... a HP poster.

12) You are rebelling against JK Rowlings pairings...in Social Studies.

13) You think your language teacher is Voldemort’s supporter.

14) When people ask the person your with what's wrong with you, they look at them pointedly and say, "Don't ask,don't tell."

15) Your actually reading this.

16) You have spent more than healthy time on Harry Potter sites.

17) Your convinced that your Hogwarts letter is coming...and that Harry is distantly related to you.

18) One of your stuffed animals is name Padfoot/Prongs/Moony.

19) You have worse symptoms than this list.

20) You are laughing a little right now, saying check to every statement.

21) Everytime you play 'Harry Potter', you end up saying, "Gryffindors at HEART, HOMES! Slytherins SUCK BALLS! Hufflepuffs eat DUST 'cause they're DUFFERS! Ravenclaws are SUCKERS that have no LIFE except for READING and STUDYING!" and you're friend walks away slowly, like she doesn't know you.

22) Everyone at school calls you Harry Potter, because you have his glasses and read his books a kazillion times.

The funniest quotes ever:

'Whenever I pray I fall asleep.'

'I did a book report on heart attacks if you want to give it to the doctor. I got knocked down an entire letter grade because it was written in crayon.'

'Is God an evil dwarf?'

'I made him a card that said heart attacks are just from loving too much.'

'Leave Brittany alone!' 'Thank you for understanding, it's been a hard road.'

'I don't brush my teeth, I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat.'

'I was pretty sure Dr.Pepper was a dentist.'

'This room looks like the one on that spaceship where I got probed.'

'Please don't pull out my teeth, when I smile I'll look like an adult baby but with boobs.'

'I'm more talented than all of you, I can see that clearly now. It's Brittany... bitch.'

'Looks like a Jewish cloud.'

'Finn can fly?'

'Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?'

'Sometimes I forget my middle name.'

'There are so many lyrics.'

'It works best when you pretend like you're getting tasered. It's like cool epilepsy.'

'There was a mouse in mine.'

'I'm pretty sure my cat's been reading my diary.'

'She's the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker.'

'Who can tell me what a ballad is?' 'A male duck.' Later: 'I bet the duck is in that hat!'

'You look terrible. I look awesome.'

'Guess who I'm dating? Wes Brody. He's super cute. He plays soccer with my sister. He's seven.'

'A Happy Meal, no onions... or a chicken.'

'Lord Tubbington is allowed to eat cheese because he's on the Atkins diet.'

'You know, just because we're doing this interview doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you. 'Cause I know you've started smoking again.'

'I just don't understand anything.'

Reasons why you should be curious.

The Hogwarts Rules

1. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

2. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore".

3. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

4. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

5. I will not ask Remus if it his time of the month.

6. I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

7. Asking, "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

8. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

9. Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda.

10. I will not refer to the hippogriff as "Horseybird".

11. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that.

12. Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums".

13. -Neither does he respond favorably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" or "Debbie".

14. Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.

15. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with, "What's new, pussycat?"

16. I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.

17. - I will not refer to Remus as a nice doggy.

18. There is no bring a muggle to school day.

19. When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

20. - "Putting down Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

21. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".

22. I will not sing "Defying Gravity" during Quidditch practice.

23. There is no connection between Hitler and Voldemort.

24. I am not allowed to declare "Official Hug A Slytherin Day."

25. I am not to wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt to school.

26. When in the presence of Voldy-poo, I must call him The Dark Lord. Not 'Snake-Face, the Dark Lord Happy Pants'.

27. I am not allowed to ask any of the Malfoys if it's "true that blondes have more fun".

28. I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's office.

29. I am not to hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout 'I... GOT... THE... POWER!'

30. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout 'To the Batmobile, Robin!'

31. - Or 'Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS, GO!'

32. I am not Voldemort's illegitimate love child.

33. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

34. I do not have a Cyberman Patronus.

35. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

36. Taking red paint and writing creepy messages on the walls is not funny, either.

37. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

38. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

39. It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.

40. I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.

41. It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a T-shirt that says 'All the good-looking ones die young' with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.

42. The Easter Bunny is not Jesus's Animagus form.

43. I will not write forged letters home to the parents of Muggleborn first years detailing the Satanic rituals they are learning.

44. Locking Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter in a broom cupboard together to see if hot gay sex will occur is not appropriate.

45. The four houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smartasses and the Junior Death Eaters.

46. Teaching first years to chorus in unison 'The amazing bouncing ferret' whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is just wrong, funny, but wrong.

47. No matter what I say to the Dark Lord, I will never make him laugh.

48. Murmuring 'I see dead people' every time I see one of the ghosts is stupid and was never funny.

49. I will not replace Professor Snape's Pumpkin Juice with Skele-Gro, and it was not an honest mistake.

50. I am not funny. No matter how much I make myself laugh.

(I dunno about the kast one, myself...)

Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.

Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.

Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.

Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.

Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.

Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.

Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy … disagrees.

Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.

Ron Weasley … is very afraid.

Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.

Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.

Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.

George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.

Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.

James Potter … doesn’t believe her.

Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.

Sirius Black … killed by drapery.

Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.

Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.

Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.

Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.

Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.

Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.

Slytherins … will push someone else off.

Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.

Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.

'Did somebody say Draco Malfoy?'

'Hufflepuffs are particularly good finders.' 'What the HELL is a Hufflepuff?'

'Did you get my text?'

'Come on, I'm tired! Can't we just be death eaters?'

'I can't GO to Pigfarts, it's ON MARS.'

'That is a BOSS Zefron poster!'

'Voldemort out, bitches.'

'I want Hermione Granger! And a rocketship.'

'You think killing people might make them like you, but it doesn't! It just makes people dead.'

'I love you all. Except you Draco, I can't fucking stand you.'

'SHE-WANTS-US-TO-EAT-EACH-OTHER-TO-SURVIVE!'

'And you have to be my slave for a whole day starting now!' 'You little shit! You got me! That's so embarrassing! ... That's the second time this has happened!'

'How DAAAAAAAAAARE YOU!'

'Bitch I ain't Cho Chang!' 'That's Lavender Brown! Racist sister!'

'Harry Potter loves Zac Efron more than anyone else on the planet.'

'Go home terrorist!'

'I don't know man. Cedric Diggory, he's pretty awesome. NOT! He sucks. I'm totally gonna win. It's in the bag.'

'My parents work for the man who killed your parents, do you want to be my friend?'

'You're cuter than a guinea pig, wanna take you up to Winnipeg - THAT'S IN CANADA!'

'Oh, just put some tape on this... it's fine.'

'I can't do this, I can't sleep on my tummy.'

'It could entail countless months of camping in the mundane British countryside, breaking into Gringotts and drinking boatloads of Polyjuice Potion.' 'Well the medallion says that's dumb, so we're not doing that.'

'Pigfarts, Pigfarts, here I come! Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum yum yum!'

'Just relax with the 'Dark King', ok? I watch you wipe your butt daily, you can call me Voldemort, we've reached that point.'

'It's just like, I can't get her out my head and everytime I look at her I get these pains in my chest, and I just know it's her fault - that bitch.'

'So good luck with whatever you were talking about, and I hope that you and Voldemort live happily ever after. Me? I'm never gonna be happy again. So I'm just gonna go curl up in my sock drawer and sleep for days.'

'Rumbleroar is the headmaster at Pigfarts. He's a lion. Who can talk.'

'SIRIUS BLAAAAAAAAAAAACK! SIRIUS BLAAAAAAAAAAAA - oh checkmate. SIRIUS BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!'

'RUMBLEROAR!'

'I came with the Order of the Phoenix! Lupin, Tonks, Made-Eye Moody, Sirius Black, and your brother Fred.' 'Oh great, where are they?' 'They're all dead.'

-member of the band gives Ron a snack- 'Oh my god thank you.'

'Supermegafoxyawesomehot.'

'Now you're just being cute. I can't GO to Pigfarts. It's ON MARS. You need a rocketship. Do you have a rocketship, Potter? I bet you do. You know, not all of us inherited enough money to buy out NASA when our parents died. Oh, look at this! Rocketship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moooonshoes Potter! TRAVERSING THE GALAXY FOR INTERGALATIC TRAVELS TO PIGFARTS.'

'What was I saying?' 'You were just telling me to sit on a knife.'

'Can't you just prepare all my stuff for me? I mean, what are you doing now?' 'I'm writing your potions essay.' 'Oh, well, do that first, 'cos that's due tomorrow.'

'Um, so, Harry? Um, we kissed. At the Yule Ball? And, well, I thought we were gonna be together forever. But we're not.' 'Yeah, that, uh... that pretty much sums it up.'

'It's just a little make up, WAKE UP DRACO!'

'You know who I think is the ugliest girl in school? That Hermione Granger. You know what I would give her on a scale of 1 to 10? 1, 1 being the ugliest and 10 would be the most pretty... an 8. An 8.5! Or a 9. No more than a 9.8, because there's always room for improvement. Of course I'm holding out for a 10. Because I'm worth it.'

'It's cause you're a fucking elf!'

'What the devil is going on here?'

'Where have you been all my life?' 'In a cupboard under some stairs!'

'Dumbledooooore! Why you being such a lousy boyfrieeeeend?'

'Ten points to Dumbledore!'

'Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, SLYTHERIN!!!!!!!'

'Hey Lupin, wanna go look at the full moon with me? HAHA, ZOMBIE!'

'You always have been, and you always will be, a butt trumpet! You know why? Because YOU'VE got a TRUMPETING BUTT!'

'Who looks stupid now? You do.'

'Oh my god, Umbridge, stop texting me!'

'You're going to do that stiff arm movement you're so fond of, and you two are going to do this... it's going to feel goofy, but it's going to look so fucking good. Oh, oh, places! ... Hello, Potter.'

'Probably the work... of that infamous... Hogwarts... jaguar.'

'I heard, one time a Dementor kissed her...AND...IT...DIED.'

'Harry, I'm homeless. Can I live with you?'

- From the brilliance that is: 'A Very Potter Musical' and 'A Very Potter Sequel', by Starkid Productions. THANK YOU FOR THE LAUGHS, NOW I'M OFF TO PIGFARTS!

THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

17. Throw skittles at people and yell, "Taste the rainbow!'

18. Go the toy section, get a light-saber and start challaging people to a jedi match.

19. Follow a random person and if they turn and ask why are you following me yell, "No I won't have sex with you!"

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things and add another one to the list! XD

You say Twilight I say Harry Potter
You say vampires I say Wizards
You say Jacob Black I say Sirius Black
You say Sam Uley I say Remus Lupin
You say Team Edward I say Team Potter
You say Robert Pattison I'll say 'is Cedric Diggory'
You think Bella and Edward is the Perfect dream couple? I think thats Harry and Ginny
You say Edward I'll say Harry, now SHUT UP! Copy/Paste this if you agree that Harry Rules

(\_/ )
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and Paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!

...At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

If you love your dad, post this on your profile.

You're Too Big a Harry Potter Fan when...

You mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath.

You call your least favorite teacher Snape.

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl.

You actually ask for a broom for Christmas.

You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight.

You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses. (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.)

You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.

You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten.

You point a normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these muggles dream up!"

You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible

Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote!

You were reduced to tears when you finally had book 5, 6, and 7 in your hands.

You refer to your Chemistry class as Potions

You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear.

When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move.

You yell into the "tellyfone."

You get extraordinarily emotional every time you hear "Hedwig's Theme".

Despite being an American, you use the word "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does.

You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's).

You name all of your pets after HP characters.

You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1980 and Ron's birthday is March 3rd, 1980 even though it never said in the books.

You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and your friends don't have any idea who you're talking about.

You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and shrieking, "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences.

You count the days until you're old enough for your apparating license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving.

If you cried during/after reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, copy this to your profile.

If you're in denial over Tonks and Lupins death's copy and paste this into your profile.

If you loved DH, HBP, OotP, GoF, PoA, CoS, and SS/PS, and know what all those initials stand for, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Harry/Hermione shippers are delusional (especially if they have read books 4-7, and still believe in that pairing), copy this into your profile.

If you think that Hermione/Snape shippers are cuckoo for Coca Puffs and absolutely disgusting, copy this onto your profile

If you cried when Fred Weasley died (in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile.

If you cried when Dobby died (in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows), copy and paste this into your profile

If you want J.K.R. to make a series about the Marauders, copy this into your profile.

If you love Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.

If you make random Harry Potter references to your friends to see if they get them (they never do) put this in your profile.

If you love the Marauders AND think they are THE best, copy this into your profile.

If you liked Snape after Deathy Hallows copy and paste this in your profile.

If you always mentally make the Sirius "serious" pun whenever somebody says, "I'm serious!" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Remus/Tonks shipper and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read Deathly Hallows in under a week, copy and paste this

If you are Harry Potter Obsessed, copy this to your profile.

+If when you go to sleep you can hear songs that you haven't heard in three years copy this to your proflie.

+If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

+98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

+If George W. Bush is getting on your nerves for various reasons, copy and paste this into your profile.

+If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

+If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

+Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, ect, copy this onto your profile.

+If you are so obsessed with Musical Theatre that you randomly start quoting it, copy this into your profile

+If you think that green skin is awesome, copy this into your profile.

+If you're defying gravity, and no one can pull you down, copy this into your profile.

+If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

+If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

+If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile

If it completely pisses you off when someone says being gay is gross, then copy and paste this into your profile

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have sibling(s) that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus and/ or train, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile

A friend calls you while you're in jail, a good friend visits you while you're in jail and a best friend will be sitting next to you yelling, "THAT WAS AWESOME LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!" If you have a best friend copy and paste this into your profile

If you really reeeeeealllly HATE Twilight, PLEASE copy and paste this to your profile.

If you cried during/after reading The Deathy Hallows, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you live in, or have created your own little world, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have a personal motto, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate the way spell check is too stupid to actually know the names of titles or last names, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Captain Jack Sparrow is both the most insane, and the smartest person in the world, both at the same time, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate the way the Profile involuntarily auto-corrects your "mistakes", copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever had a "NOBODY MOVE! I dropped me brain." moment, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, (unless if you live in a time zone when two in the morning is your afternoon) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you get offended every time somebody leaves the "Captain" out of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever had your friends of family yell 'HE(or she) IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER' when you talk about your crush, copy/paste this

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

Who agrees with me that homophobes are nasty, insensitive people?

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

92 of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8 who still listen to music, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate it when the ice in the ice tray break in half so that you get the top of the cube but not the bottom, even though the tray really isn't overflowing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked into the classroom you had the year before by accident and stood there looking around, wondering why all these midgets are in it, copy this into your profile.

If you ever heard voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you've ever run up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you solemnly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

Tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he will believe you. Tell him that a bench has wet paint on it and he will have to touch it to make sure.

The only race is humanity.

I get plenty of exersize, jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck and dodging deadlines.

Bomb squad, if you see me running, you'd better catch up

My anger management classes pissed me off.

Don't upset me, i'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Everyone brightens a room, some by walking in, others by walking out.

Silence is golden but yelling is fun.

Be optimistic, someday everyone you hate are going to die.

At first if you don't succede destroy all evidence that you tried.

Time is a great teacher, unfortunately it kills all of it's pupils.

Life is like stepping out on a boat that is about to sail out to sea and sink.

Personally, i don't think that there is intelligent life on other planets, why should other planets be any different from this one?

Marriage is grand, divorce is around 10 grand.

Do not disturb, i'm disturbed enough already.

Keep your mouth shut and people will think you're stupid, open it and you will remove all doubt.

Sometimes i lay awake at night and ask "Where have i gone wrong?" and a little voice in my head says "This is gonna take more than one night."

The buddy system is esential to survive, it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.

Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?

Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma?

Only two things are infinate, the universe and human stupidity.

Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Forgive your enemies, it messes with their heads.

9 out of the 10 voices in my head agree that I'm sane.

Of course I'm going to drive, I'm to drunk to walk!

I'm not afraid of death, what's it gonna do? Kill me?

I didn't fall from Heaven, I rose from Hell.

I'm not crazy, my reality is just different then yours.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Smile first thing in the morning, get it over with.

Never knock on Death's door, ring the door bell and run away. Death really hates that.

A day without sunshine...is night.

At first if you don't succede...cheat. Then repeat until caught. Then lie.

You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP!

Never go to bed angry, stay up and plot your revenge.

Silence is golden, duct tape is SILVER!

My brain works like lightning, one brilliant flash...and then it's gone.

I used to have super powers but then my therapist took them away.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house faster than the police.

Don't tell me sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon.

The average woman would rather have beuty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Behind every succesful man there is a surprised woman.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Whatever woman do they have to do twice as good as men to be thought of as half as good. Luckily this is not difficlt.

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil.

Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action, they rented out my room.

Everyone's entitled to their own opinion, it's just that yours is stupid.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side, it has a dark side and it holds the world together.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

In the world of love and dating... I'm lost. Get me a GPS.

Death is God's way of saying, 'You're fired!' with no second chance. Suicide is humanity's way of saying, 'You can't fire me! I quit!

When life gives you lemons, turn them into apple juice and let the world wonder how the hell you did it.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has found a scapegoat.

Go to hell!" "Been there, done that, got bored, came back.

So you see a ghost, or think you do, and that is what has you scared half to death?""I'd prefer it if you didn't use the word 'death' but yea..." "Well if I said 'scared half to watermelon' it wouldn't make sense."

When I argue with myself it's normal. It's when I argue with myself and I LOSE that it's weird.

Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

It is surprising that history should be so dull considering that so much of it is invented.

Is the pen mightier than the sword? How well can you use a pen if a sword cuts both your arms off? And yet, who in history will care if you have both arms cut off if you've written a good story?

When you see doors of opportunity, run up to them and pick the lock..

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Heaven kicked me out. Hell is afraid I'll take over.

If life gives you lemons, sell it to a lemonade vender and buy some smoothies.

People yell, people scream, and some people never realize that life isn't sacred unless you make it so.

When people insult people you love, ignore them. When they insult a book you love, fight them till the death.

(Someone boring talking to you) "Hold that thought, I need to do something" walk over and stare at a wall "yup, a lot more interesting"

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom or Rock Hard.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Post this on your profile to make someone smile!

~24 things to do in an elevator!~

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead while muttering: "Shut up, admit, all of you just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there."

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go 'plink' at the bottom.

9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, bleeped motion sickness!"

11. Meow occasionally.

12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers 'through' it.

16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

18. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push the red buttons.

19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your 'personal space.'

21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

23. Wear 'X-Ray Specs' and leer suggestively at other passengers.

24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.

Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane Intercom

1. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore

2. We're cruising at an altitude of... Ah hell I don't know

3. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?

4. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Just kidding.

5. Would the fight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em comin'

6. This is... uh... This is... uh... your... Hmm, I seem to have lost my memory...

7. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?

8. Good God Steve! We’re going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?

9. We'll be on the ground in ten minutes. One way or another...

10. This is your captain speaking: I'm depressed, suicidal, and I'm taking you all with me. By the way, I've already killed the co-captain.

11. This is your captain spreaking: we're about to land, but... uh... does anybody know how? I was kinda weak on that in piloting school...

10 Things In Golf That Sound Dirty

1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired.
8. Just turn your back and drop it.
9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls.
10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

When you dial a mental hospital:

Ring...Ring...

Welcome to Psychiatric World. If you are obsessive-complusive, please press one repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the phone so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you are delusional and hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

Famous last words:

"No, these windows are okay to lean on."

"I can pass this guy."

"My brakes are fine."

"Nice doggy."

"Nah, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."

"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du--"

"So, you're a cannibal."

"Pull the pin and count to what?"

"Which wire was I supposed to cut?"

"I wonder where the mother bear is."

"These are the good kind of mushrooms."

"What does this button do?"

"Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?"

"Don't worry, it can hold the both of us."

11 ways to annoy/scare your roomate:

0. Every time the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If he/she asks about it, say, "Oh, that darn hypnotist..."

1. Hang a picture of your roommate on the wall. Throw darts at it. Smile at your roommate often, saying things like, "How nice to see you again."

2. Get a can of beans. Label them, "Jumping beans." Eat them, and then jump around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Dancing beans." Eat them, and then dance around the room. Get another can of beans. Label them, "Kill Your Roommate beans." Eat them, smiling at your roommate.

3. Every time your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, and then wake him/her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."

4. Insist that your roommate recite the "Pledge Of Allegiance" with you every morning.

5. Recite "Dr. Seuss" books, all the time. Eventually, think up melodies for the words and sing them, loudly, directly to your roommate. If he/she tells you to stop, act offended and spend the day in bed.

6. Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn't obey them, give him/her tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns until he/she pays the tickets.

7. Walk, talk, and dress like a cowboy at all times. If your roommate inquires, tell him/her, "Don't worry little buckaroo. You'll be safe with me."

8. Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been bothering you. Get a screwdriver, and pretend to "fix" them.

9. Paint abstract paintings, and title them things like, "Roommate Dying in a Car Crash," and "Roommate Getting Whacked in the Head with a Shovel." Comment often about how much you love the paintings.

10. Wear glasses, and complain that you can never see anything. Bump into walls and doors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, "Who's that?" every time your roommate enters the room. When you're not wearing the glasses, act like you can see fine.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

90% of teens today would scream if they saw Robert Pattinson jumping off the edge of a building and 9% would laugh. If you are part of the 1% that would die of laughing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator:

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask:"Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!"- and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say."Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug! then enforce it.