I am a person.

(My friends say that they certainly hope so...)

I am truthfully a monster from a far off planet where dirt is as valuable as diamonds here on earth, and our dirt is actually diamonds.

(My friends say I'm stingy cause I won't share...)

I reply with the same, they won't let me have any of this incredibly priceless dirt.

(My friends tell me to go back to the mother ship...)

Day 29... the humans suspect nothing...

(Day 32... My friends found my journal...)

shit.

(Welcome to my world...)