Okay. If you're actually looking at this, bravo. You're my new best friend.

I shall not tell you my age, because you don't need to know. But I suppose I could tell you my name and appearance, as there are probably thousands who look exactly like me.
I have brown hair, currently cut short. It's now about to my shoulders. I'm never ever going to cut it again, though. Ever.
Anyway, I have brown eyes. Not hazel, but brown. Just brown. But I liked them when I was little, because when I smile they get a little sparkle in them, and I loved that.
I always wanted to have pale skin, like a vampire. Waaaaaaay before I read Twilight; since I was about three, actually. And I would, too, except I live in stupid California, so it's tanned.
I have glasses; blue ones. Actually, just a little blue. The frames are brown with blue on the inside, so you can't see the blue.
My piano teacher says that I have a 'perfect nose', though I find it a little big, and I have full lips. I have a little bit of acne on my cheeks, so it looks like freckles. Nothing special.

My name is Kayleigh. Not Kailey or Kaylee or Kayley or any other way to spell it. Kayleigh. (Kay-Lee) Nobody ever seems to spell it correctly, and so I tired of my name very quickly, especially since it's such an adverage name, without adverage spelling of course. But I looked up the meaning a couple months back and now I have new respect for my name, as it is formed out of a Celtic word, meaning some sort of ceremony. And it's different. So I like my name, but it doesn't seem to suit me very well.

If you're going to read me, you'd better have a full day ahead of you, because most of my stories have about twenty chapters, give or take. I don't know if that's why I'm so sickeningly unpopular, but that's how it is. If I made it shorter, you'd have a terrible beginning, a terrible middle, and a terrible ending. So...you're going to have to deal with it. Or read only half.

I basically have no life, if you're wondering, so that's why I spend my time here, on fanfiction. I have no life because I hate to talk. Talking has no point these days; who cares about cell phones and clothes on sale? But I like it that way, because if I did turn out to be a psycho-idiot that likes shoes, I wouldn't have time to write, which is my passion. If I do not become an author when I grow up, I will see if I can get into the music business, but I'm not sure I can do that, either. If I can't do either of these things, I have no idea what I could possibly do. Anything but an accountant, I guess.

I like to write because my life is so devastatingly boring, with absolutely no drama in it, and I want to feel like I'm part of something bigger, you know? Something out of this world, something that's beyond me. It makes me feel whole when I'm the master of a story, and only I know the ending; only I know why people do this or that. It's amazing.

My favorite band is called Death Cab For Cutie, and if you've gotten this far on my profile, you ought to check them out. I swear, they're nothing like you've ever heard before. The lead singer's voice does not sound real, but that's only because it's so good, not because it's techno or rap or hip-hop. And the drumer and bassest are amazing, too. They've got the perfect everything; brilliant with words, brilliant with music. But with a name called Death Cab For Cutie of course they are accused of being emo. They are not. I'll tell you that right now. And anybody who thinks they are can just forget it at this point and go read some parodies.

I now have two parodies. Madam Carlisle and Rosalie's Exboyfriend. Both are Harry Potter/Twilight crossovers, and both do not have enough reviewers. :(
What is up with that? I'M FUNNY!!
See? That was funny, right?
Or...not.

The rest of my fanfics are serious stuff, though, as parodies tend to bore me after a little while. Most are from Sweep, a fantastic seiries that changed my view on the world. (Someone really ought to make a movie out of that, make it more popular.) For instance, it convinced me that blondes were not all cocky bitches all full of themselves and popular, and that British people do not have to have bad teeth.
But also it's got the same raw emotion Death Cab has, and a lot of unexpected twists that make you speechless. (Who knew Cal Blaire was evil?) And it got me thinking about how everything's connected, nothing but fate. But every seiries has a weak point, something the author regrets writing. For instance, putting the last book in third person. Actually, that last book, called Night's Child, was the mistake, and I do not reccomend reading it if you want to keep your opinion of Sweep high.

If I've learned anything from Cate Tiernan, who is the amazing author, it's how to keep somebody's identity a secret. What you've got to do is convince everyone that the bad guy is the good guy, and that the good guy is the bad guy, and then you switch it on them. Then they go, "Oh my God," and you have a winner. But you have to make them believe it, meaning that you admire the bad guy, look up to the bad guy, and have the narrator think the bad guy's gorgeous, and make the narrator hate the good guy's guts. Leave clues, of course, so it's not out of the blue, but not too many clues. Not so many that the readers anticipate it. Otherwise you won't get that boom of surprise and "Oh my God."

The Sweep seiries goes in order like this. Book of Shadows (1), The Coven (2), Blood Witch (3), Dark Magick (4), Awakening (5), Spellbound (6), The Calling (7), Changeling (8), Strife (9), The Seeker (10), Origins (11), Eclipse (12), Reckoning (13), Full Circle (14), and Night's Child (Special). Do Not, and I repeat DO NOT read Night's Child if it isn't too late. If your curiousity is getting out of control, then tell yourself that Morgan and Hunter lived happily ever after together, and had a family and three kids, and lived in a cozy Brittish abode where Bree and Robbie visit often with their own kids, and Mary K. and her kids, as well as Aunt Eileen and Paula's own two kids. Tell yourself that Sky and Raven ended up together at last, married and planning on getting a kid or two of their own. Tell yourself that Alywn is married to a Wykendell and pregnant. Tell yourself that Alisa is happily living in Gloucester with Charlie, and she writes to them every now and then to discribe her now happy life, as well as Hilary and her dad. Tell yourself that Justine Courceau died in a freak accident when she was on her way to Hunter. That's a happy ending. That's what should have happened. And don't go reading the book to find out what did happen, because it's so far fetched and so out of control that it sounds like a bad fanfiction story. And nobody ends up happy. I mean, sure, Morgan and Hunter do. But it's not like being away from each other for fifteen years is a happy ending. And, yes, you can read the terrible book if you want, but...I wouldn't advise it. And if you do, as soon as you have doubts about Sweep, run straight back to the third and fourth one and read the scenes with Hunter in them.

I owe my writing to a series called The Amazing Days of Abby Haze. I was young, and I loved to get my hands on any book, and this one, while interesting, wasn't the best book I'd ever read.
And yet I was obsessed with that strange series. Well, not obsess. I never obesses, but I thought about it all the time and read it all the time. Although, when I finished it, I completely forgot about it.
But, after a while, I started copying the girl in the book, who had a diary that she wrote in with a purple pen, and I got my own diary and decided to try it. Why not?
Well, after several weeks of writing in a little pink book with a kitty on the cover, I read how Abby, being the main character, wrote a little story in her diary, and so I decided to try it. That little story became about five stories where my imagination ran wild, and I loved writing. So thanks to whoever wrote that series. I owe my writing to you.

My first story, the one in the kitty notebook, I wrote in second grade. It was a crossover about Harry Potter and Lemony Snicket, which was really really stupid since I was in second grade and made no sense, so I won't put it up or anything, even though I still have it to wonder, "What was I thinking?" But with those fanfics I began writing other things, things that were still stupid because I was still in second grade, but I developed my love for writing with that one crossover about the Quagmires and Ginny Weasly. I've wanted to be an author ever since then, instead of a pediatricion. (I had to think of something to put on those "All About Me" Posters.)

My 'style', if you will, of writing is usually first person, my parody the only exception. I suppose it also includes a lot of sarcasm and dry humor, but only rarely. It's all by accident, you see. I write it off the top of my head, which can be a little creepy that it all comes out with absolutely no thought at all, but then again it's not as good as when I write it on a notebook and then type it, adding details. Which, I may add, I do not do here on fanfic. Don't have the patience, so you're just going to have to deal with the beauty of the plot instead of taking the time to think about what that person is feeling while they witness it.

I assure you, my real writing that isn't on fanfic is far better. More details. But then again, I've never finished a story that wasn't plagerized before or some kind of musical. But I am working on it. Just need some motivation from my cousin.

How many of you have heard of my cousin, pink.crazy.twilight.lover? Well, she used to be a really good parody writer, although she updated rather slowly. You know, to my standards. But she had about 170 reviews on one story, around 150 on another, and exactly 22 on a third.
She had three tales. Two parodies called What Could Go Wrong and Ask the Cullens, and a mystery called The Only Way. Why do I speak in past tense? Because my cousin has QUIT fanfiction. She got tired of it, I guess. I was mad at first, but now I'm okay with it, I suppose. It's such a shame, too. She was pretty good.

I guess you could say I'm not a vampire-obsessive like a lot of people are. It's the blood, really. Grosses me out. I think it gave me nightmares once. Just the slicing of the skin...can't feel my legs. Werewolves are okay; better than vampires, really. Mostly because I am a dog person. But werewolves place only second on my scale of the supernatural.

Instead I go to what is, in my opinion, a much better option. Witches. Because when you think about it, it's a whole lot better for someone who doesn't like...you know...teeth. Runes, spells, herbs, chants, dream interpertation. They come in groups, too. I've read a book where the gathering is called a Circle, then Sweep called it a coven doing circles. Connection... And think about it, if you would, before you decide to hate me for dissing vamps. What magic it must be, swirling around and feeling the magic flow through you, and everything feels right and perfect and nothing could be wrong. And you could be powerful, too. Witches don't all have to be the same. You could be conquerer of everything if you studied hard enough. And the best part: love potions. You know you'd love making love potions.
Besides, no one calls themselves a monster when they're a witch. You can quit magic. You can't quit being a vampire or a werewolf.

If I were to choose a vampire, however, I would choose Jasper. It's a funny story why, really. She told me she was going to make me a pizza girl in her fic, and I was uber excited. She said that Jasper was going to kiss me (if you read What Could Go Wrong before it got taken down, you know what really happened) and at first I protested. But I thought about it, about how quiet he was, about his blonde hair and how he was always accused of being emo, and it reminded me so much of Hunter Niall that I instantly loved him. Kind of mean, I know, but that was basically the only way for me to notice the guy. I'm not a vampire-obsessive; I was too busy thinking about witches to wonder about my favorite Cullen character.

I'm also a grammer-freak. Everything you see is usually perfect grammer. Any mistakes you see are not intentional. Sometimes I don't use complete sentences, with both a subject and predicate, but since I'm a writer I am allowed to do that. But, unlike other fanfics you see, you'll always find periods in the right places as well as perfect capitilization. I use the right theirs/theres/they'res and yours/you'res, and if I don't it's always a mistake that's made and not fixed because I am far too lazy. I try my best not to critisize other people when they get their grammer and spelling wrong (how can they ignore those green and red lines that appear on Microsoft Word Documents, anyways?) And I try to focus on the plot of it instead of the irritating sentences that are far too long and ought to have a period instead of a comma. It's kind of funny really; I'm too lazy to look over my stories but not too lazy to give a lecture on grammer. But then again, I don't think I could do incorrect grammer if I tried. It seems natural to me, like how some people have a knack for whistling.

I just recently set up a fictionpress account. It is called People of the Moon. I have no stories on there yet, but I am working on it. I'd give you a link, but I have no stories up yet, and that is the only way to actually copy and paste the link, unless you review something, which I also have not done. So go on over and check that out if you like. Just to read the profile for kicks or something.

Now that I've given you a preview of my daily lifestyle and what to expect from me, I suppose I could tell you my interests now.

Favorite Color: White/Blue

Favorite Band: Death Cab For Cutie

Favorite Book: Sweep: Dark Magick (4)

Siblings: 1 sister (or is she a sister?)

Favorite Element (fire, air, water, earth) : water

Favorite Song: Brothers On a Hotel Bed (don't even make a gay assumption)

Age: You wish

Hair: Brown

Eyes: Brown

Okay, now I'm going to tell you a couple paragraphs about each and every one of my stories, whether they're still up or not.

Rosalie's Exboyfriend

I remember it faintly...it's hard to remember exactly how I thought of the bald comment, which still cracks me up.
"The Bald Guy?"
"The very same."
But I think I do remember how I thought of the plot.
I was reading a Harry Potter fanfic, called The End of Hope by DevineCancerian, which is on my favorites list if you want to check it out. And I saw Voldemort confronting Ginny Weasley, and I think they were discribing how ugly he was. And minds wander, as only minds do, and I thought of how good-looking he was when he was sixteen, and how girls must have been all over him.
So I thought, "What if Rosalie dated him?"
Excitment and anxiety building up inside me, I put the story on my favorites list so that I could finish it later, and I never took it off.
As for the Angela-is-a-squib thing, I thought of that while I was reading Eclipse. Edward was dropping Bella off at the La Push border, or maybe driving away, I can't remember. And Bella said, having a little breakdown, "If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party!" So, I thought, "What if she was?" Thus, Angela the squib was born!
It's still the funniest story I've ever read, and every time I hear the famous Bald Guy comment, I burst into laughter. I really can't believe it.
Yet, I am still undiscovered. What is up with that?

Deja Vu

As I wrote my hilarious tale, I came up with a dull, unoriginal idea. "What if Albus Jr. became the second boy who lived?" And so everyone had a son or daughter, and I completely plagerized the first chapter of the Harry Potter book. Word for word.
But instead of Dumbledore, it was McGonigall, and instead of McGonicgal, it was Selene, named after Selene Belltower from Sweep. She was sixteen, and she was McGonnigal's favorite student, apprenticed to become a teacher.
But I lost interest quickly, and as soon as I discovered the delete button (see Hunter Cullen), it was gone, never to return.
Don't even ask for it to return, because you don't want it.

Giomanapped

Ah, yes, Hunter Niall. Age nineteen, the youngest Seeker on the council. He's kind of an orphan, though his parents are still alive; his half-brother's mom drove them away with a Dark Wave when he was eight. (That's ironic.)
He's also incredibly adorable. Tall and lean, with hair as light as corn silk and green eyes that have infinate pain and wisdom despite his youth.
At one time, I read a Sweep tale called A Tale of Two Brothers by sunshine-faery. It's on my favorite's list, too. In it, Hunter was kidnapped by Amyranth, ambushed as he sought revenge on Ciaran for chasing away his parents. (Ciaran is not his half-brother's mom!)
And they pinned him to the table with binding spells, and poor Hunter Niall was helpless. And I just loved it. I love the thought of Hunter being held against his will. Just pretend that's not creepy.
So I made a whole fanfic on it, brilliantly named Giomanapped, from his coven name, Giomanach.
But, unfortunately, when I started it, I hadn't read the books in six months, and I based it entirely on all the other fics I read. So in the beginning he's got a couple anger issues, and the end, according to my cousin, is terrible, though I thought it was pretty good, and, when I'm finally clear of all ideas, meaning in, like, a year, I may do a sequel.

Golden Eyes

It was late at night. I was the Sweep master, guiding my cousin through the world of Sweep, explaining to her why people did this or that, but being such a great actress as to not give away anything.
She was just starting the seiries, reading of the charming and charismatic Cal Blaire. Morgan first explained of his beautiful, deep, gold eyes more beautiful than any others, that stared right into your soul... blah blah blah.
And she said as she read of his eyes, "Just like Edward's!"
And so, bada-bing, bada-boom, I created this!
It just so happens that I made history with this. It's the first Sweep/Twilight crossover ever. You look right now, you'll find only one, and that one is this one. I discovered how to link the world of Twilight and Sweep, and I did it completely and utterly succesfully.
Of course, I had to get revenge on my mychevious cousin that dared to make a joke out of me. Check her fanfic, What Could Go Wrong, and you'll find me, the gorgeous pizza delivery girl, sent to deliver a pizza to the Cullen family as Jasper played out a dare.
For half an hour we talked, and then Jasper kissed me (Yes!!). But my wig fell off and I was revealed as a boy.
A gay boy.
Then Jasper mooned me.
So, as you can see, I had to take revenge. So what did I do? I risked the dangerous internet pranks, and put my name inside, as well as hers. But, hey, she already put my name in her fanfic, though spelled wrong at first, (thanks, cuz) so I really had nothing to loose.
Read, and you will see what I've done to her. It's a more subtle approach, and probably not as big an insult, but it's all I had in order to make sure my beloved history-making tale wasn't completely ruined.
As for the ending? In my opinion, it's the best ending I've ever written.

Moira's Sweep

This was another Deja Vu thing, but with Moira, in a twisted kind of way; more original.
Morgan dies, and Moira's custody goes none other than to Hunter Niall, who runs as fast as he can away from the funeral. But Sky, who faced the funeral, tracked him down and he was forced to keep his old love's daughter.
But this is not what it's about. Moira meets a boy named Benjamin; he has hair as white as snow and tawny yellow eyes, that, while sound similar to Cal Blaire's, are nowhere near the warm, golden iris of the Amyranth prince.
Speaking of Amyranth princes, he is one! His mother is the new leader of the San Fransico cell of Amyranth; his father the new leader of the New York cell. But his father does not know he has a son.
When Benjamin was eleven, his mother kicked him out. He refused to practice dark magick, and so his cruel, heartless mother didn't want him anymore. Or she at least expected him to return.
But instead he fled with his friends, and lived in the streets of towns, eating when he could and other days wasting away.
Little does he know that his friends aren't honest after all, and they decieve him in the end.
After Benjamin meets Moira, bad things start happening. His father finds out about him, and sets out to kidnap him and force him to become the new Amyranth prince. For years, his mother has been searching for him as well, and she finally come upon him.
But, in the end, they make it out okay. They always do.
However, there were little reviewers, and my inspiration was gone. So as soon as I discovered the delete button (see Hunter Cullen), it was gone.

Hunter Cullen

If you haven't figured it out by the title, this fic is about Hunter becoming a vampire, however unwilling.
Again I tried my luck at the Sweep/Twilight crossover, and while the plot was strong and sure, there were kinks. I hadn't read Breaking Dawn, and I knew nothing about a vampire's lifestyle. And my cousin gave me false information, damn her. She said something about the Vulteri taking away Alice's memories. Breaking Dawn said nothing about that!
And who cares about that half-written book online? It doesn't count because Stephanie Meyer is not writing it anymore.
So, anyway, all that and the lack of reviewers prevented it to be finished, so I asked my cousin how to delete it, because I wanted to delete Deja Vu and Moira's Sweep as well. She said, "Look on the profile to the right." Even though she didn't know.
And it was there. Is that creepy or what?
Anyway, it was gone.
Shortly after, JoBro1998 sent me a private message saying the following. And I quote, "What happened to Hunter Cullen? I loved it. After all that work you deleted it?" Because of this, I have recently started it ALL over again.

Persuasion

Okay, this was inspired by Mom Won't Be Proud, which, unfortunately, I did not add to my favorites.
I'd been thinking about this before then, however, though not with Evadne. Instead, I would do it with Bella. But for some reason, I decided to do this instead.
And it's got a super-surprise ending that you will either hate or love. It doesn't matter which, as long as you review.

Transatlanticism

Death Cab lovers will know where the title came from. Everyone else can look it up in the dictonary, and they will understand partially.
Basically it was a redo of the last book, Night's Child, which really sucked. But lack of reviewers and lack of interest took it off in less than a month.

Madam Carlisle

Okay, since my first Harry Potter/Twilight crossover was so hilariously funny, Jacquie Whitlock asked me to do another one. So I did the first thing that came to my mind. Madam Pomfry gets replaced by Carlisle, and all the Cullens, Bella, and Jacob go to Hogwarts, just in time for the Yule Ball. I'm a little blank when it comes to how it ends, but I'm sure it'll end up alright.
Unfortunately, there are no bald people in this one.
So sad.

Transatlantic Love

So I tried Transatlanticism again, without Moira, who was starting to peeve me. But again, no reviewers, no love, no interest, no spark. It's gone, now. I hope you're happy!

I Cannot Bear to Love You

This fic is written at another house, so updates aren't as often as I'd like. I had a writers block somewhere in there, but it's gone now, and I know exactly how the story is going to carry out.
It's another one of those alternate realities. "If Ciaran raised Morgan" is possibly the most popular plot in all of Sweep fanficdome. So I decided to try. It got a flame for its first review, but I laugh at it all the time. Well, not all the time, but...if it intimidates flamers, then so be it. I laugh at it all the time. ;p
Anyway, I've got this awesome Hunter/Ciaran scene in mind (not with them as a couple FYI) that'll bring drama-seekers to their knees. I think. It almost did that to me, and I thought of it, so...I'm excited.

Swallowed in Darkness

Since my cousin went on some kind of strike, I was alone when it came to reviewers. I thought that this tale had a good summary. But I guess it didn't, because I never got a single review. I was thinking about changing the summary so that my awesome surprise would be revealed already, but instead I just took it off and started What I've Done.
This was a Sweep fic, an amazing one with a plot I was sure nobody else had ever thought of - Linden comes back from the dead.
What happened was this: the tabis that killed Linden took him instead, took him to Amyranth, where they raised him for the rest of his years. Linden met Cal and Selene, and truthfully, he liked them better than the Nialls. They understood him better, or so he says. So while his family is greiving for him, he learns dark magick, and then he finally goes to Widows Vale.
When he gets there, he meets none other than Mary K. Rowlands, and he likes her. So they start going out. Then he discovers that his brother (Hunter) is in Widows Vale as well, so he needs to get out of there stat.
But Hunter catches him; they have an awesome witch-battle, and in the end, Hunter has to kill him. So sad. Then they go on with their lives.
And that's what may have happened between the sixth and seventh books!

Hunter Cullen (again)

I have begun it again! Voila! It's still in the early stage, and it will take a while to get all the way back to Chapter 22, but...I hope it's worth it!
I am the only Sweep/Twilight crossover writer in the WORLD!!
Maybe.

What I've Done

This is just another Alice/Jasper love story. Of course, with modifications. Even though it's an Alice/Jasper story, though, it was inspired by a Rosalie/Emmett one by Megan Geyer, called Positve, Negative, Neutral. That was basically a 41,978 worded story, and man, it took a long time to read. But it was very nicely written, and it made me want to do one of my own, but with Alice and Jasper, 'cuz there're awesome.
But it's not going to be anything like Positve, Negative, Neutral besides the fact that it had no definate plot when I started out, and how it ended is sorta-kinda sorta (not really) how Positive, Negative, Neutral began. You'll find out.
At the end of it, I ended where I wanted to begin, with Alice pregnant, and so I had to do a sequel. I called it: Plans.

I Wish

When you are a writer, what do you do? Well, you write of course! That goes without saying.
The easiest form of writing, I suspect, is poetry. You simply rhyme a bunch of words, right? No. I'm afraid not.
Still, I typed this up in about a half hour - but it's very short. I'd looked at a couple poems on fanfiction, and most of them were about New Moon, in either Bella or Edward's point of view. And I'd been trying to write a poem myself.
Then, all of a sudden, the words, I wish I could love you sprang into my mind, and so I went to make that line into a poem, making this.

Plans

By the time What I've Done was over, I'd gained a lot of reviewers, reviewers I'd been lacking when I was focusing almost entirely on writing Sweep. I had been surprised by Persuasion, who'd earned itself somewhere around five reviews the first day it was out, and I was astonished by the reviewers I got for What I've Done. It went up and down like a roller coster; there wasn't a real adverage number, as far as I could tell. But what I could tell was that I'd found myself with at least five more people that were sticking to me for what seemed like for good, though of course I could never be sure.
But considering I'd gotten more than 3/4 to 100 reviews, I thought I'd do a sequel. Really, though, the sequel was done because I wanted kids. Well, not my kids, but...I wanted Alice and Jasper to have kids, and I wanted to do my own version of it. I had no idea how to get there though, and so I entered What I've Done blindly, hoping my reviewers would show me the way to a beautiful child, with an angelic beauty that could only exist through my eyes. They did, though they only helped me, and I figured out the rest of the way. But the entire pregnancy, as well as the babies' childhoods, are in Plans. Though the request option, of course, is open as wide as it most possibly can, I think I have most of it figured out. But just simply the plot, nothing in between, so that gives you the opprotunity to request, either through a review or a PM.
This story is advised to be read after you read What I've Done first.

To Be Afraid

It is no secret that the world of Sweep is very good and very well planned out. Everything is as it is for a reason. If Ciaran wasn't evil, for example, Maeve wouldn't be dead and none of it would have happened.
It is also no secret that the world of Sweep fanfics is terribly unoriginal. You see, there aren't as many Sweep fans as there are Twilight, so there aren't as many people to choose their favorite character. Thus it is, always, Hunter Niall. Even my favorite character is Hunter Niall.
But because people are so enchanted with the love story of Hunter and Morgan, all the Sweep fanfics are, you guessed it, about them. Alternate realities where Ciaran raises Morgan, ones where Morgan decides to go to the dark side, ones where they promised never to see each other again, but then they do, ones with alternate endings to Night's Child, a couple one-shots about their undying love. You get the point. And while I love Morgan and Hunter dearly, they are not the only characters in the series, and so I just had to do a story about Robbie. But I couldn't think of a plot until I did this little list thingy (see below) and it gave me the idea of a Robbie/Alisa fic. This is that fic.
No reviews yet, but...it's a good idea, so I'm keeping it.

Am I insane? Well, that depends on your definition.

It's pretty likely, actually. By day, I act sugar high and love to hug people. Hard. By night, I am surrounded by love and magick and serinity. Two different kinds of insane.

My group of friends, including Laura, Angela, and occasionally Phoebe - although Phoebe isn't crazy like the rest of us - is very sugar-high. We run around and quote from Charlie the Unicorn. We hug and squeeze and poke and grin.
And some might think to themselves, "Why would I act insane?"

Well, it's very simple. Let me spell my logic out for you.

It's either run around and be insanely happy and feeling like you fit in, or hanging out with teenagers.

You see my logic?

Hey, like Death Cab says in a very pitchy Amputations, If we seem nutty to you, and if we seem like an oddball to you, just remember one thing: that Marty Oakson was once a nut like me.

Who's Marty Oakson? No idea! But they also said this: Pray to God that one day he will grant me the power to reach out and lay my hand over them and give you instant belief, because you don't have anything to believe. We've been hooked, we've been crooked, we've been lied to so many times; we become suspicious, man, and when the right thing comes along you don't believe it. When I come and knock on the front door, you go to the back door looking for food and clothing. And when you find some, you think someone's a dirty fool. What's the end? You're looking for an excuse. In this modern day and age we have instant faultage, instant disbelief. And that's the reason we never become anything. It is because we will never believe in ourselves. We all listen to the man in charge, 'cause everyone's making fun and critisizing, even though you're on the right track. It's something most people ain't got.

What does that have to do with Amputations? No idea! But, hey, it seems like something wise to say, even though it makes basically no sense.

Okay, so I can't tell you my age. If I do, you will completely and utterly give me disrespect. "You're too young to be on here," they'll say. "You don't understand like we do." They'll say.

Well, it's not like I'm nine or anything. I'm just a little younger than I should be. But who cares? I understand it all, and I write a whole lot better than alot of older people.

I hope this section won't make you distrust me, as I want everyone to treat me as if I were sixteen, even though I'm not. Can we do that?

We'll see, won't we?

Requests, requests. I usually follow them. For instance, in Giomanapped, sunfiresoftball told me that whatever I do, to not make Courtney kiss Hunter. Unfortunately, that is exactly what I had planned to do.

But it was lucky she said it, because now that I think of it, if I had her kiss Hunter, and maybe a little more, it would be a complete and utter disaster. I'd go overboard, and...it would be second grade all over again.

Hey, I was a weird kid. I knew the stuff, I just had no idea how it worked or what it was called.

I WAS A WEIRD KID!!

Don't judge me!

Anyway, I usually follow these requests, unless it's impossible, like killing Edward and Bella and keeping them alive at the same time. (These requests would be by two different people.)

But otherwise, if you actually take the time to tell me anything, I will bow down before you as if you were Aphrodite. Er...I mean...Apollo. Because, you know, he's a boy.

We'll just say Zeus.

Everyone else has awesome quotes on their profile, so I'm going to see if I can think of a couple I made up myself.

"The world will never know." -me

"Who ever said the world made sense? Oh, wait...I did." -me

"Yappers!" -Loren (my cousin)

"If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane." -Jimmy Buffett

"Put a banana in your ear!" -Charlie the unicorn

"Who's the dish?" -Mary K. Rowlands; Sweep: Blood Witch

"Like Sky, I hated him on sight, in a primitive, inexplicable way." -Sweep: The Coven

"Yes. I know Hunter." -Cal Blaire; Sweep: The Coven

"Why aren't you dead?" I asked Hunter.
"Sorry to disappoint you," he said
-Sweep: Dark Magick

"Holy Shih-Tzu!" -Loren (my cousin)

"Yeah, well..." -me

"He was protecting me from you," I said pointedly. "Who are you protecting me from?"
His grin was a flash of light in the darkness. "Him."
-Sweep: Dark Magick

Okay, don't ask me why I'm putting this in, but I really want to point out the best verse that's ever been written, or at least in my opinion. It goes:

You may tire of me
As our December sun is setting
Cause I'm not who I used to be

No longer easy on the eyes,
But these wrinkles masterfully disguise
The youthful boy below

Who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for:
Both a beginning and an end

But now he lives inside
Someone he does not recognize
When he catches his refection on
Accident...

My favorite part in the whole world is the last stanza. Don't ask me why, but as soon as I heard the last word, accident, I melted. When I first heard it, I'm just like, Oh. Because I had to wonder what he was going to rhyme with 'on' to make it go with the song, and the last thing I expected was 'accident'. But that's the thing with Death Cab. They don't worry about rhyming. They worry about telling.

And so, yeah, that's my entire motivation for any solemn, insightful, heartmelting stuff. I sleep to that song, but other than that I try not to listen to it too much, because I don't want any moment of that music ignored or wasted.
So, anyway, that's Brothers On a Hotel Bed by Death Cab for Cutie.

Okay, I never do any of these things, but was uber-funny on Megan Geyer's account, so here it is.

List characters from Twilight in no particular order.

1) Jasper

2) Edward

3) Rosalie

4) Carlisle

5) Angela

6) Jessica

7) Charlie

8) Jacob

9) Alice

10) Emmett

11) Esme

12) Nessie

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven FanFic? Do you want to?

Jessica and Esme? No and no. (shivers)

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Carlisle?! Sort of...not really. He's a bit...old for me. But I suppose he could be...maybe...

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight Pregnant?

OMG! People are always worried about it being the other way around, but...I guess it could happen. It'd be really, really creepy, but...there'd be a half-werewolf, quarter-human, quarter-vampire freak thing running around.

4. Can you recall any Fics about Nine?

Alice? Of course! She's my little pixie-girl!

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Edward and Jessica?! Jessica'd be happy. But it could happen. I don't know if they'd be a good couple, but it's been in fics before...

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Alice/Angela or Emmett/Angela. Emmett/Angela! Why? Because...um...it's been done before, and...Alice goes with Jazzy.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

If Charlie walked in on Edward and Nessie having sex...he'd probably call the social worker. (shivers)

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten Fic.

Rose and Em. Easy. They're...um...spending the day together, and they decide to destroy Edward's house...(wink)

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Jasper and Jacob. Um...yes, probably. There are probably stories like that, yes.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort Fic.

Oh. That's easy. Charlie and Renesmee. "The Orphan." It'd be sad.

11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Hmm. Considering my strange taste...hmm...Lightness by Death Cab! It fits perfectly!!

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve Fic, what would the warning be?

Jasper/Jessica/Nessie. Hmm. Interesting. I guess it'd be... Warning: blood and violence.

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Angela? Well...this is embarrasing, but since I last read Rosalie's Exboyfriend. Heh-heh...

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3)"

"Jasper and Charlie are in a happy relationship (Ew!!) until Charlie runs off with Carlisle. (Uck!) Jasper, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Esme (Dude!!) and a brief unhappy affair with Nessie (Jazzy!), then follows the wise advice of Angela and finds true love with Rosalie."

Um...okay. Jasper banged his mom and his neice as well as Bella's father...but other than that...I guess it could happen...Jazz and Rose...I guess...

I'm going to change the numbers, just to see if I can get something else. Completely random numbers, by the way.

"(8) and (4) are in a happy relationship until (4) runs off with (12). (8), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (7) and a brief unhappy affair with (2), then follows the wise advice of (6) and finds true love with (1)"

"Jacob and Carlisle are in a happy relationship (Um...) until Carlisle runs off with Nessie (Your grandaughter?!). Jacob, brokenhearted has a hot one-night stand with Charlie (again with that guy?!), then follows the wise advice of Jessica (that pinhead?) and finds true love with Jasper.

Okay...I think I like the first one better...

Now I'm going to do a Sweep one. A lot of you probably don't know who these guys are, but...it'll be funny to me.

1) Hunter

2) Selene

3) Robbie

4) Ethan

5) Morgan

6) Ciaran

7) Bree

8) Raven

9) Maeve

10) Alisa

11) Sky

12) Cal

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven FanFic? Do you want to?

No, I have not. Sweep fics aren't creative that way. I don't think I'd want to...Ciran and Sky? No. Probably not.

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

Ethan? No! He's a stoner!

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight Pregnant?

Oooh! Cal and Raven! That is actually a possibility! Good question. Um...the remainder of Raven's life would crash and burn.

4. Can you recall any Fics about Nine?

Maeve? Again, no. Sweep's not creative that way. It's just Hunter and Morgan. But, um...she's in a couple.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Selene and Ciaran. I don't know. They'd be a super couple of evilness, I suppose. They'd have evil children together that would grow up twice as evil! Muahahaha!

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Oh, dude, that is sick! Morgan/Maeve or Morgan/Alisa?! I don't know! Probably Morgan/Alisa, because Maeve is Morgan's mom.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Bree walking in on Selene and Cal having sex?! She'd call the social worker!

8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten Fic.

Robbie and Alisa! I like it! It'd go something like... "I don't want to be afraid," she said. "Me either," I said softly.

9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

It doesn't exist but it could happen. Raven's very flirtatious, you know.

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort Fic.

Oh, man! Bree and Cal! It could work! Probably, um...um... "Love is." Very unoriginal, but hey, cut me some slack!

11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Sky Eventide...well, you know, I don't know. Nothing really matches her point of view that I know of. I'll...get back to you.

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve Fic, what would the warning be?

Hunter/Ciaran/Sky. Well, that could actually be a story, but a warning... I don't know. Death?

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Morgan? Yesterday.

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3)"

"Hunter and Bree are in a happy relationship until Bree runs off with Ethan. (Okay. That could happen.) Hunter, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Sky (Dude! She's your cousin! He'd have to be drunk...) and a brief unhappy affair with Cal (DUDE!!), then follows the wise advice of Morgan and finds true love with Robbie. (o_o)"

Erm...you lost me at Sky. Lol. I'm going to mix up the numbers again.

"(5) and (8) are in a happy relationship until (8) runs off with (2). (5), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (6) and a brief unhappy affair with (4), then follows the wise advice of (3) and ends up with (1).

"Morgan and Raven (whoa!) are in a happy relationship until Raven runs off with Selene (um...) Morgan, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Ciaran (Ugh! Your dad?!) and a brief unhappy relationship with Ethan, then follows the wise advice of Robbie and ends up with Hunter. (Yay!)

That worked out splendidly, in spite of Raven's...problems. But, uh...yeah. Ethan, Robbie, and Hunter made sense.

A TWILIGHT SURVEY

Which book in the series is your favorite?

Eclipse

How long did it take you to read the books?

twilight: about three days

new moon: about two days

eclipse: a week, maybe?

breaking dawn: a month

Who introduced you to the books?

My cousin, Loren.

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

I borrowed them from Loren and then my grandmother bought them for me, except Eclipse.

Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie?

Midnight Sun, I suppose.

What's your dream ending to the series?

Hmm. You know... Alice finds out about her past, Jasper kills Maria, Rosalie becomes kind-hearted, Edward turns Bella into a vampire and the Vulturi is destroyed and rebuilt.

Favorites:

Who is your favorite character?

Jazzy!

Who's your favorite vampire?

Jazzy!

Who is your favorite werewolf?

Why, Jacob Black of course.

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?

Um...I don't know!

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

Hehee. Feathers.

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?

Um...probably in Eclipse when he kissed her. Drama!

How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?

I don't know.

What was your favorite adventure/battle?

Er...Vulturi in Breaking Dawn.

Which book cover was your favorite?

New Moon. I drew it once.

Are these books among your favorite books of all?

No.

This or That?

Twilight or New Moon?

New Moon

New Moon or Eclipse?

Eclipse.

Eclipse or Twilight?

Eclipse.

Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun?

Midnight Sun.

Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie?

Midnight Sun

The Twilight Movie or Breaking Dawn?

Um...Breaking Dawn. Yes, I know it's already out.

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?

Edward, in the end, though I like Jake more.

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?

I don't know. Bella?

Bella or Jacob?

Jacob.

Bella or Alice?

Alice

Alice or Jacob?

Alice

Rosalie or Alice?

Alice

Jasper or Alice?

Jazzy!

Jasper or Edward?

Jazzy!

Carlisle or Esme?

I don't know. Carlisle, I guess.

Emmett or Jasper?

Jazzy!

Emmett or Jacob?

Jacob

Bella or Rosalie?

Bella, I assume.

Esme or Charlie?

Charlie.

Charlie or Carlisle?

Charlie.

Charlie or Billy?

Charlie

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?

Victoria

Werewolves or Vampires?

werewolves. No blood for me, please.

In which book did you like Bella's character best?

Eclipse.

How about Edward's?

Twilight.

Jacob's?

Eclipse

Alice's?

Her character doesn't change, I thought, but...New Moon.

If it were possible...who would you most want to meet in person?

Jazzy, of course! It'd be pretty awkward, though...

VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE

Since I got a virus on fanfiction, I am no longer alowd to be on it. At all. Which is extremely sad, because if I don't practice writing, I'm probably going to become rusty and only half as good as I am now.
But.
If I come back, my mom will literally take my computer away from me for eternity. Which means I can't write AT ALL. Which would not be good. So don't really expect me to come back.

Seriously, though, I love this site, and I'll miss it terribly. I used to be on here every day, all the time. I lived and breathed this site. And I was getting really good and writing because of it. Now I'm going to have to find some other way to practice writing, and I'm sure eventually I'll find one. And, regrettably said, I suppose it isn't that healthy to live and breathe anything but air. Sigh.

If, by chance, you happen upon this profile, thank you very much. I hope you review my stories anyway, just in case I make a very sneaky visit once in a blue moon.

I have a task for you, though. I want you to look around in, say...ten to fifteen years, for a book by me. Although I'm not entirely sure how you'd find it, considering I'm not crazy enough to give you my last name and even if I was, it doesn't suit me so I could take up a pseudonym. But still, maybe, in ten to fifteen years, I can go here, as I'll be out of the house by then (hopefully) and maybe take up fanfiction again or something and tell you about it then. I don't know.

But keep watch. I'm not dead, no matter what I said in Plans.

I love you all,

Uxiegirl.