She-Pirates kick-BUTT Poll: Let's say you were walking down the street and you see a ninja sniffing a pineapple. What would you do? Vote Now! |
 Author has written 4 stories for Avatar: Last Airbender, and Powerpuff Girls. DISCLIMER FOREVER: I DO(NOT)OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT IDEAS!!!!!Now let me cry in a corner *weep* HEY, I need someprivacy THE BASICS ABOUT ME GENDER:GIRL Character: PLUS SIDE: I have caramel colored skin. wavy medium black(brown in summer) hair with natural deep copper highlilghts. pale green eyes tinted slightly brown. MINUS SIDE: I have extremely crooked/buck teeth, elf ears, a big nose, I'm really tall (like KING KONG in heels.) I'm not fat but, i'm squishy all around. EMOTIONS: i'm really funny, quiet (i know i seem kinda loud-mothed up here but i'm not.) Sometimes i say that's SO mastercard when something funny happens(i mean that was priceless), I think FaceBook and Twitter is for STALKERS(all my friends think i'm loco like that but i read a lot of things about waht happens on those sites so i spend a punch of time on my fave site JANGO.COM...and this), I'm so random, i'm a LUNATIC&crazy(there's a difference between LUNATIC and crazy but i won't waste space explaining) NAME: Yeah right like i'll tell you.BUT I've always wished my name was something like Lunesta or, Benevolence AGE: You don't need to know but i'll give you a hint, between 5 and your shoe-size multipled by 7. TRY TO STALK ME KNOW SUCKAS!!! SPORTS: UMMMM, is bowling considered a sport. And tennis. and Volleyball color: My fav color is orange cuz it needs some love. But i like all colors except for blue. MUSIC: I LiKE EVERYTHING... no take that back i like everything EXCEPT Heavy Metal, Rap that doesn't make sense or with a lot of cussing. But, i do like Show-Tunes.not many kids listen to that stuff HOBBIES: UMM... reading books, reading Fanfics, sleeping, eating , yard work(except gardening) listining to music,looking at pictures and reading LIVE: Well, i wish i lived in MOROCCO, EGYPT, COSTA RICA, or SPAIN. FOOD: umm... corn?cookie dough?Meat? idk too much to choose from FACT: I AM A LAZY BUM There's a bunch of stories i wanna type but i'm too lazy to start DISLIKES: cherries,matching socks, sushi,sardines, muders who kill people with chainsaws. Delivery Pizza(because i don't know if any dropped or farted on it and also i timed them once and they were 1 MINUTE LATE so i was SUPPOSED to get it free but the gut was like NO, it's close enough. so i took the pizza and locked all the doors{don't judge, i was like 7} and he called the cops but they thought he was stupid to arrest an innocent girl[my dad's on the force and they were sucking up to me so they could get promoted] but i got a "warning" to always pay for pizza). People who are always cussing. I mean once in a while is fine but then if your like "Hey*beep* i'mma *beep*beeping*yogurt*long set of beeps* hobo" its annoyinig and unnecesssaryy. I don't like slash, it's just not my thing. I don't read M stuff cuz it burns my childish mind. FACT: I AM A LAZY BUM There's a bunch of stories i wanna type but i'm too lazy to start DISLIKES: cherries,matching socks, sushi,sardines, muders who kill people with chainsaws. Delivery Pizza(because i don't know if any dropped or farted on it and also i timed them once and they were 1 MINUTE LATE so i was SUPPOSED to get it free but the gut was like NO, it's close enough. so i took the pizza and locked all the doors{don't judge, i was like 7} and he called the cops but they thought he was stupid to arrest an innocent girl[my dad's on the force and they were sucking up to me so they could get promoted] but i got a "warning" to always pay for pizza). People who are always cussing. I mean once in a while is fine but then if your like "Hey*beep* i'mma *beep*beeping*yogurt*long set of beeps* hobo" I'm super cool super hot, i'm the girl you'll like a lot i'm super super girl. No seriously, I have super Powers, I can Fly-ish, i can make myself burp, and i can space out. What other powers could you ask for.I'm african American, but i'm also part Egyptian. I'm some wher in between 5 and yor shoe size multiplied by its self for age. I'm more of a reader than a writer, but i have lots of ideas i want to express. i hate when people say i need # many reviews or i won't upadate, it;s annoying because you have to rely on people to update. I can rant on almost any topic, it's my my passion. I'm a tomgirl. a cross between a girly-girl and tom-boy. I don't like slash or M stuff. They both burn my old-fashioned childish mind. I'm still a bit of a Newb. TH-TH-t-That's all folks A note to flamers: I saw this on SciFiSOS's profile and I just had to add it. If you read a story and you didn' t like it, please keep these things in mind before leaving a review! The Idiot's Guide to Flaming 1) Please have a point. I can't stress this enough people. If you think 2) Post some literary venture of your own before you attempt a flame. Think 3) Check your spelling and grammar. There's nothing worse then making a bunch 4) Do it with style. You've heard the saying, I'm sure. 'If a thing is worth 5) Read summary warnings. Trust me. You don't want to go ripping on people 6) Throw in some amusing word play. When you step into the arena baby, you There they are. Please feel free to rip them off and post them where ever the I'd like to finish with a moment of silence for all the poor, lame little This is my Copy/paste section of all the things I CAPITMP that were meant to be copy pasted(you can copy paste anything on my page you want to. but you knew that) Did you know... Kissing is healthy. Copy and paste into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...your wish will be granted ╔══╗ If you're not afraid to sing any HSM song out loud in any public place, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to this list: hsmgirl14, XxTinkyBlondieBellxX, Angel of the Starz, AlvinSevilleIsHOT, Fizzy Starburst, she-Pirates Kick-butt If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) and said "It's broken!!" copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that crack pairings are getting really creepy, please post! We must stop it before it spreads (no offense) If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile. ╔╗╔═╦╗ Put this on your page If you ever freaked people out at your school and still do, copy this on to your profile. ("sock!") If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile. If you like to read people's profiles when you're bored, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think you have too many of those "copy and paste this to your profile"s, copy and paste this to your profile IF YOU HAVE SPELLED YOUR NAME WRONG PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE If you think ninjas are kick ass copy & paste this to your profile If you ever spazed out for no reason copy and paste this on your profile Ninety- eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile. If you are an Avril Lavigne fan, copy and paste this to your profile. 98% of teens would go into depression if Justin Beiber (That annoying retard who sung 'Baby') fell into a vat of boiling oil. If you're one of the 2% that would throw a party, burn the Justin Beiberdolls and go up to his fans and spray them with boiling oil, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you think homework is a waste of time PLEASE copy and paste this to your profile. Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift, Why do you think they call it the present? If you're weird you are normal, if you are normal you are weird. Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: no. Girl: Do you like me? Boy: not really. Girl: Do you want me? Boy: no. Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: no. Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: no. Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: no. Girl: Choose me or your life. Boy: My life. The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says: Boy: The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason why I don't want you is because I need you. The reason why I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason why I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I wouldn't do anything for you is because I would do EVERYTHING for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. Copy and paste this to your profile if you think that's sweet. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this into your profile. Copy and paste this into your profile if you have talked in your sleep without knowing until someone tells you the next day. Copy and paste this into your profile if you have ever fell over in public and had people laugh at you. Copy and paste this into your profile if you have ever called someone "mom" by accident and it isn't your mom. Copy and paste this into your profile if you have ever fallen asleep in any lessons. Copy and paste this into you profile if you have ever hit something very hard to cause damage, but ended up hurting yourself in the process. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy and paste this into your profile. I'm bored... If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... If you have ever forgotten what you are going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you hate those obnoxious, snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile. If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile. If you believe that the government should make levees and not war, copy & paste this in your profile. If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile. "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. If you've hit teenage years and are tending to be a bit rebellious...Well, girl(or boy), copy this into your profile. WANNA-BE REBELS, UNITE! If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :) If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. 98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If you believe you are genuinally(sp?) in love with 2 or more tvshow/book characters, copy and paste this into your profile. Most people say that life is good. But life is only good when you get what you want. If you agree, copy and paste this to your profile I'm the kinda person who walks into a chair and apologizes If you copy and paste so much that you have duplicates on your profile, copy and paste this to your profile. I'm that kinda girl who will bust out laughing for something that happened yesterday If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're paranoid, copy this to your profile/signature! If you would jump under a speeding train to get a date with any Cullen Boy (Edward, Emmett, or Jasper), copy this into your profile If you think those stupid kids should just give that god-forsaken trix rabbit some trix, then copy this into your profile If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile If there are times when you just want to annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy this into your profile If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading fanfiction, copy this into your profile If you think writing fanfiction stories is fun, copy this into your profile If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. A large percent of writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to SLUG them, put this in your profile. If you've ever had to buy Silly Bandz just so people would shut up about you not having them, copy and paste this into your profile. If you get a kick out of explosions, put this in your profile. If you think that computers are the world's most addicting drug, copy and paste this into your profile. f you still don't know what IRS stands for, copy and paste this into your profile. If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile If you've met your non-blood related twin (In resemblance or personality), copy this into your profile If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile If you have a true friend, copy this into your profile If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile. FAN FICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have WAY too much time on your hands and your on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile. Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your profile. If you’ve ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head on a table for no reason copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!! If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile. If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile. If you've ever been entertained for over 20 minutes by a spot on the wall, copy this to your profile. 92 percent of statistics are fake. If you've ever made up a percentage just to get your point across, copy this to your profile. If you get excited when you find money lying on the ground, even pennies, copy this to your profile. If you watched the same movie every day of life when you were little, copy this to your profile. If you think the government is tapping your phone, copy this to your profile If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. "I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone If your addicted to a certain candy bar copy and paste this to your profile If you think these are kinda stupid but find them fun to copy and paste to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile If you know more than one person that should get run over by a train, copy this into your profile. If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. Zuko lost half his fanbase after Crossroads of Destiny. If you're one of the half that stayed loyal, copy this and paste it into your profile If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this into your profile If you love black, but are no goth, copy this on your Profile If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile. If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this on your profile If you hate those obnoxious snobby people PLEASE copy and paste this to your profile If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever had an argument with yourself and LOST, copy and paste this on you profile. If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile. If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this onto your profile. If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile! Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile If you think about something random practically 24/7, copy and paste this into your profile! If your pretty sure you have copy pasted things ATLEAST twice cuz it applies to you so darn much CAPITYP If you are obsessed with fan-fiction copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy and paste this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan-fictions, copy and paste this onto your profile If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this on your profile (2:01) If you love black, but are no goth, copy this on your Profile If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile IFIf you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you still support Zutara, despite many put downs, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you don't use MySpace and are proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile Im A Zutarian! and proud! If you are a Zutarian! and proud! Copy and Paste this in your profile Copy this to your profile if you are a Zutarian! If your parents have ever told you that you weren't normal, and are proud of it copy this to your profile. If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile. If you have ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile. If you want to push a person of a cliff right now but that person happens to not exist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this to your profile. If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have WAY too much time on your hands and your on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile. If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction,copy and paste this into your profile. If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile. If your profile is way too long,copy and paste this into it to make it longer! If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are insane and proud of it, copy this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. ~5 Truths of Life~ 1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue. 2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it. 3. The first truth is a lie. 4. You're smiling right now because you know you fell for it... (Idiot!) 5. You still have a stupid smile lingering on your face Now, if you fell for it (I KNOW you did), copy & paste this into your profile. If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile. If you like to copy and paste, copy and paste this to your profile. If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile If you think that those kids should just give up and let Lucky have his stupid cereal back, copy this into your profile. If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think too much swearing is unnecesary,copy and paste this to your profile If you ever skipped homework to watch anime, add this to your profile. If you love animals copy and paste this on your profile. Some people wish anime characters or powers were real, if you want them to be real add your name to the list:Edward-Elric-in-red/Allen-Walker-in-black, KaoruBC101z, MewMewKitty78, BcXbUtCh, she pirates kick BUTT If you ever stood up for yourself, even though you were scared, add this to your profile (I have to do it all the time to my parents!) If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile. If you LOVE LOVE LOVE! To scream, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think people are out to get you, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever had problems updating your profile because the computer kept putting the things that you wanted in a diffrent area, copy and paste this on your profile. IF YOU LOVE FANFICTION, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have friends online whom you don't even know in the real world but you don't really care, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this to your profile. If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have an exceedingly long profile because of copy/paste items, copy this into your profile to make it even longer. If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile. If you think that writing fanfics is fun, put this in your profile!! If there are times when you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile. If you managed to copy and paste to many things, then copy and paste this into your profile. If you want to push a person of a cliff right now but that person happens to not exist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this to your profile. If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you have ever run down an up escalator or vice versa, copy this to your profile. REMEMBER WHEN .. Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now If you hate (or close to hate if you're a non-hater) those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. IF YOU'RE AN AVATARD LIKE I AM, PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE If you want to kill the person who said Avatar was a load of rubbish, copy and paste this into your profile! If you still support Zutara, despite many put downs, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you don't use MySpace and are proud of it, copy and paste this onto your profile. 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile (My friends laugh at me for it) If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile. Ways You are Like Toph: (bold the ones you are!) 1. You punch or whack people when they act stupid. 2. You love fights and laugh when people get hurt, but you're not sadistic. A lot. 3. You're tough! 4. You always point out people's flaws or mistakes. 5. You have a crush on a guy who doesn't know you like him, but you hide it by making fun of him. 6. You are NOT a girly-girl! 7. You like to walk barefoot. You HATE wearing shoes. 8. You're sarcastic a lot. 9. You pick your nose, pick your toes, burp, and spit. 10. You hate flying. Especially on ten-ton flying bisons. If you like snow, copy and paste this on your profile. I'm a cat lover! MEOW! My name is Sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid, I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake, I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm sradishing to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I sradish to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight, my daddy Murdered me. Child abuse is wrong! help stop chuld abuse! Speak out against child abuse! Put this on you profile if YOU think child abuse is wrong! And if you yourself is being abuse...just tell someone and they can helpyou! ~love sarah Rules for Alvin and the Chipmunk Fanfiction With commentary by the one, the only, the amasing, Fizzy Starburst.(this isn't me i just copy/ pasted but you knew that) 1) They are brothers, nothing else. 2) They must always live with Dave. 3) They must always end up with the Chipettes. Alvin can hit on other girls, but he must end up with Brittany. 4) They cannot die. 5) They can have superpowers, but the color of the magic/ mystical zone has to he the same color as they're signature colors. 6) They can't die. 7) They can't be severly injured. Now why would I wanna go and injure the chipmunks in the first place?? And besides, you just like, can't do that. people get severly injured. That's what you call LIFE 8) There cannot be any OCs. Only the Chipmunks, Dave, and the characters created my the Bagdasarians. 9) The Chipettes HAVE to live with Miss Miller. 10) If you kill them, thus violating numbers 4 and 6, you must bring them back. Also making it a horror story. 11) They can't be in horror stories. 12) You must have at least three jokes/gags in a chapter. 13) If you do a Chipmunk crossover, it must be with some other cartoon. Not live action. 14) If you have songs, they have to fit in the story. Not just be random. 15) The Chipmunks do not work for free. If you use them you must send Ross Bagdasarian 100 dollars by the end of the month, or else you'll die instantly. 16) Don't talk about the rules, don't tell people about the rules, don't even think about the rules. If you have ever broken or are planning to break any of these rules, then copy and paste them into your profile! If you have ever pushed on a door that said PULL or vice versa CAPTIYP If you LOVE to read, and read often, copy and paste this! If you facepalm a lot, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you seriously can't dance, copy and paste this! If you have ever zoned out for more than 5 consecutive minutes CAPTIYP If you have your own little world CAPTIYP Admitting that you're weird means you're normal. Saying that you're normal is odd. If you admit that you're weird and like it, copy and paste this into your profile If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time COPY AND PAST THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If your profile is long, copy and paste this to make it longer. If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever accidentally walked into a wall, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're weird and you're proud of it post this into your profile!! I absolutely hate the word 'peoples' because if people is the plural of person then you can't have a plural of a plural. If you hate this word too, CAPTIYP If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. If you read your own profile just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile. If you ever copied something to your profile, copy this into your profile. Now add your name: krazykookiegirl, J'Bates-Forever, Fizzy Starburst,She- Pirate Kick-Butt If you believe in Jesus Christ/one GOD put this in your profile and don't ignore it because the Bible says that If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my father and the glory of Heaven. If you have a profile, paste this on your profile If you read this, copy this into your profile. If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do so at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile If you want to, copy this into your profile. Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!! If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you completely hate Nick for ending production on Danny Phantom, copy and paste this into your profile. Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?" If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile. If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever had a random crush on a cartoon character, copy this onto your profile.(Zuko, Sokka, Todd,Elmo,Oscar, Pooh and a bunch more too.) If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever asked a really stupid obvious question, CAPTIYP If you think the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechan alone, CAPTIYP Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you're a fellow believer/Jesus Freak/brother or sister in Christ and you're PROUD of it, send me a message so we can stand together and unite! And copy & paste this into your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects CAPTIYP If several inanimate objects hate you CAPTIYP If you have ever wished that you had ghost powers CAPTIYP If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews for one of your stories CAPTIYP if you have ever laughed in a silent room because of something you heard yesterday CAPTIYP if you have ever ran into a tree while running CAPTIYP if you have ever ran into a door CAPTIYP if you have ever asked a random obvious question CAPTIYP if you are obsessed with fanfiction.net CATIYP if you ever wonder who started these copy and paste quotes CAPTIYP if you have ever argued with your-self and lost CAPTIYP if you wish 'someone' could be ran over by a bus CAPTIYP if people think you are mentally insane...and you agree CAPTIYP If you ever tried to start a 'FAD' and it didn't work CAPITYP if you think your profile is longer CAPTIYP if you have ever tripped over air CAPTIYP I have a one-time gift. A beautiful gift that many people are ridiculed for in this day and age. A precious gift that many people throw away. It's called "virginity", and I plan to not waste it on some jerk of a boyfriend who's just gonna dump me later. I choose to be faithful to my future husband, the man who will love me for the rest of my life, and to wait for the wedding day!! If you have chosen to save your one-time gift and are PROUD of your purity, paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Dearheart, BabyBeaver, 3Blue3Moon3, ProudOtaku, Girl Pirates Kick-Butt "If you believe in God, copy-and-paste blah blah blah..." So what? What does believing in God mean? Lots of people, Christian and non-Christian believe He exists. Even demons "believe in God." What makes you so different? I, for one, don't merely believe in Him...I TRUST in Him. I don't just "believe in God"...I believe in JESUS! I believe He is the ONLY Way, the ONLY Truth and the ONLY Life and without Him there is no salvation! If you believe in Jesus and have His Joy in your heart, don't just copy-and-paste this into your profile...SHOW IT! If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix Rabbit some Trix because they can go to the store and buy some more, post this on your profile If you have strange dreams that never, ever make any sense whatsoever, put this into your profile. What you're looking for is always in the last place you look" (Me: Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!) If you are against child abuse, copy and paste this into your profile. I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it! To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world. Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set. If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you are a chocoholic, copy this into your profile. If you like the rain copy and paste this into your profile. me: -dances in the rain- If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. I don't care if you insult me, but at least use correct grammer and spelling If you think Angel is reading your mind right now, copy and paste this in your profile. if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile. If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate it when people review your story just to ask you to review theirs, copy this into your profile. If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this into your profile. If you use Fanfiction at school, and somehow got past any blocking, copy and paste into your profile If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile - If you've ever run into a wall, or a part of one, copy this into your profile. - Somebody, for the love of God, copy and paste this onto your profile if you don't think Harry Potter is the best thing since sliced bread so I know I'm not alone! - Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same thing as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile. If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile. If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile! If you have ever done anything stupid in your life, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever been so insane that you scare yourself, copy this into your profile. If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile. If you know there’s more to good random humor than saying “cheese”, “cookie”, or “pie”, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think you have too many of these “copy and paste this into your profile” thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile. If your day isn’t complete until you’ve terrified a complete stranger, copy and paste this into your profile Chiron: Use this to defend yourself. It's a very powerful weapon. 97% of the teens would cry if Edward Cullen was on the edge of a cliff. 2% would do nothing. 1% would go forward and push him down. If you're part of the 1% copy and paste this in your profile If you are a tomboy, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you don't believe life is fair...copy and paste this into your profile. (finally, there are some insanely rich peolpe who are bad role models*cough lil wayne cough* then there are trully awesome people *sneeze ME sneeze* who will probalbly never get to be vry famou becase of the intrests the persue{race car driving, photography, knitting, eingeneers, authors} while everyone who wants to be a singer, dancer, designer, model, sports gets mega famousfor doing barely anything exept sports the train but especially singers irk me since they Pay people to write a song and then they only sing ONCE cuz the play the recording at a concert or Music video and models because they get paid 4000+ dollars to walk 9 feet in fancy clothes) If you've ever had to read a book you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile. If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile. If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile - If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile. If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. - If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives what’s so ever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it and you are one of those people, copy and paste this into your profile - If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen copy and paste this onto your profile - If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. - If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. - If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile - If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile - If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile. - I am an individual. You will NEVER see me falling into the latest trend because everyone else is doing it. I will not follow mindlessly and become exactly like everyone else. Like the saying goes, "We are all born originals but so many of us die as copies." If you agree that being an original is a great thing copy and paste this into your profile If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. If you're quiet a lot but you're ALSO really loud, copt this into your profile If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile. Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile. Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile. If you love fanfiction friends, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think too much swearing is unnecesary,copy and paste this to your profile If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite gender can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile If you think that it would be fun to be a cartoon, copy this message into your profile. If you're disgusted by the way most teenagers are acting nowadays, then copy and paste this into your profile If you see no point in making the bed because you are just going to unmake it, copy and paste this into your profile, There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs. I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up. I dream of a better tomorrow--when chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned. You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? I dont have a short attention span, I just...oh look, a kitty! I ran with scissors, and lived I live in my own little world, but it's ok, everyone knows me here :) Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? If you like stuff that everybody else hates and don't care who thinks you suck because of it, copy this into your profile. I smile because I have no idea what's going on! If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile! 98 of the internet population has a Twitter or Facebook. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads and think they are for stalkers, copy and paste this into your profile98% of the teen population does or has tried smoking pot. if your one of the 2% that hasn't, copy this onto your profile. 93% of American teens would have a severe emotional break down if someone called them a freak. if you are part of the 7% that would ask the person "what was your first clue?" copy this into your profile. (\_/)This is Bunny Copy resistance is futile The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." YOU know that you live in 2010 when... 1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave. 2.) You haven't playes solitare with real cards for years. 3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a jango 4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote, instead of just pushing the buttons on the T.V. 6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job. 7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling. 8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends. 9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5. 10.) You scrolled back up to see if therewas a number 5. 11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. 12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did. 1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle 2. For each question, press the next button to get your next answer 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS 1. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Never Say Never 2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Nasty Girl(WHAT NONONONONONONONONONONO i am a good girl) 3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? P.Y.T pretty young thing (umm... ) 4. WHAT IS 2+2? Saving my Face (?? that doesn't even make sense??) 5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? 3 little birds (true, she is a bit loopy) 6. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Sk8r Boi (actually he has a bike) 7. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? One Better 8. WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Halo (i don't know it'd be kinda boring being a floating circ;e) 9. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Waka Waka (so true, so true) 10. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Squirrels. In. My. Pants. 11. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Can't touch this (LOL, i am imagining my mother doing the hammer-time) 12. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? The muppet Show Theme Song (oh my) 13. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBIE/INTREST? yellow submarine 14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? FunkyTown (No Comment will fit this statement) 15. WHAT DO YO THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? U-G-L-Y (HAHAHHA) 16. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Mrs.Murphey's Chowder (that would be terrible.) 17. HOW WILL YOU DIE? A challenge (what, who challenged me?!?!?!?!?) 18. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET? Watcha Say (yeah. that's right. i won't regret anything) 19. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? pants on the ground (lol so true) 20. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? stargazing 21. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? How to save a life 22. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? Peanut Butter Jelly Time (I am not afraid of food items) 23. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? I still believe (what... is this a sign or something 'i still believe someone likes me') 24. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? Year 3000 (what, that's in the future) 25. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? Rehab (i don't know what you're talking 'bout anymore i'm not in rehab) 26. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY? 27. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF? 28. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? 29. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? 30.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? Είμαι ο καλύτερος υπάρχει, το καλύτερο θα ήταν, και οι καλύτερες που υπάρχουν ολοένα θα. ExCUSES FOR HOMEWORK I didn't do it becuase I didn't want to add to my teahcer's already heavy workload. I made a papaer airplane out of it, and it got hijacked. I put it in a safe and lost the combinataion. I loaned it to a friend and suddenly he moved away. The light im my house went out and I had to burn it to get enough light to see the fuse box. I didn't do it becuase I didn't want the other kids to look bad. Totally true statements(at least in my book) PEOPLE: you suck YOU: no i just rock too hard PEOPLE:you're wierd YOU: *screams*no i'm just random! PEOPLE: your drunk YOU: no your just too somber PEOPLE: what happen to your room its a wreck YOU: no your just too clean PEOPLE: your a pessimist you: no your just to optomistic PEOPLE: your mean YOU: no your just a sissy PEOPLE: your a loser YOU: no im just to much of a winner PEOPLE: your creepy YOU: no im just to awsome for you!!! Look at #1, and continue with the fun! (1) IMPORTANT! Look at number 5 If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile. If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile. Okay. The following crap has just been copied and pasted, so don't go blaming me for any mistakes you notice :) If you have weird friends put this on your profile. 98 percent of teenagers smoke or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, put this on your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull, or vise versa put this on your profile. If you have ever burst out laughing for absolutely no reason at all, put this on your profile. If you have ever gotten so sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember what you were talking about in the first place, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever run into a door, paste this on your profile. If you have ever been so obsessed with something and now everyone is afraid of you because of its effects, paste this on your profile. If you have ever forgot what you were talking about in a conversation, paste this on your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever gotten hit in the face with a ball and then started to laugh your ass off, put this on your profile. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile. If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. I'm bored... If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile :D If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. If you ever walked into the wrong classroom, copy and paste this into your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (Strawberry) Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile. Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile. Girl: Talk to her! 10 Commandments of a Teenager Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No. Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No. Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No. Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No. Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No. Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No. Girl: Choose: me or your life Boy: My life. The girl runs away in shock and pain. The boy runs after her and says: The reason you don't cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason why I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life. 35 Things to do when your in Walmart!: 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares..." and see what happens. 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay by. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME, PICK ME!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!" 16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one. 17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price. 18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs. 19. Start a fish-stick fight. 20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruff shampoo you recommended. 21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!" 22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf. 23. Run up to an employee of the opposite gender and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that boy/girl over there" -point to a random person- "was just about to ask you to dinner." 24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store. 25. Whisper "I know your little secret" to people in the checkout lines. 26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section. 27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..." 28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". 29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught. 30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket. 31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs. 32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts. 33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back. 34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section. 35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid. Ways to annoy people at the cinema: Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!" Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses. Clap when the good guy gets killed. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?" Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!" Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding. Yell out what is going to happen. Wear a cape and when it's your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row. Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel. Sit in the front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...) Bring a beach ball. Toss it around. Try to start a wave. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!" Sing with the theme music. Bring and use your own air freshener. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies." Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!" Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!" Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?" Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat" Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats. Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle. Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn. Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!" Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!" Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!" Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can hear it, like when the killer's name is going to be said. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones. Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one. Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes. Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever. When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that. Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person. If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you. Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere. So get ready for the biggest shock of your life. Meaning of Each Letter in Your Name A: Hot COME TO MY PARTY! THE TIGHTEST PARTY IN THE WORLD! I'm throwing a party, there will be a DJ... everyone is invited! So everyone come, but first read the rest of this bulletin. Come Kick it at The Biggest Party Ever! DETAILS BELOW.. Special Guests: Jesus Christ, God The Father, When: When you enter the Gates of Heaven Where: Kingdom of Heaven How: Just Ask Why: Because God Loves You! ...Come As You Are! Bring Nothing but Your Heart and Soul. 98% of Teens Won't Stand Up For GOD... Repost this if you're one of the 2 who will... Jesus said, "If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny Repost as Come to My Party! Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity: 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In'. 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, then switch to Espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write 'For smuggling diamonds'. 7.Begin all your sentences with "In Accordance with the Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go." 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood. 16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, 'Rock Bottom'. 17. When he money comes out the ATM, scream "I won, I won!" 18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!" 19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." 20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity... copy and paste this into your profile!! I went to a birthday party, And remembered what you said. You told me not to drink at all, So I had a Sprite instead. I felt proud of myself, The way you said I would, That I didn't choose to drink and drive, Though some friends said I should. I knew I made a healthy choice and, Your advice to me was right, As the party finally ended, And the kids drove out of sight. I got into my own car, Sure to get home in one piece, Never knowing what was coming, Something I expected least. Now I'm lying on the pavement, And I hear the policeman say, "The kid that caused this wreck was drunk." His voice seems far away. My own blood is all around me, As I try hard not to cry. I can hear the paramedic say, "This girl is going to die." I'm sure the guy had no idea, While he was flying high, Because he chose to drink and drive, That I would have to die. So why do people do it, Knowing that it ruins lives? But now the pain is cutting me, Like a hundred stabbing knives Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom Tell daddy to be brave, And when I go to heaven, Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave. Someone should have taught him, That it's wrong to drink and drive. Maybe if his mom and dad had, I'd still be alive. My breath is getting shorter, I'm getting really scared. These are my final moments, And I'm so unprepared. I wish that you could hold me Mom, As I lie here and die. I wish that I could say, I love you and good-bye Life's Biography Backround Music Opening Credits: Anything~JoJo Birth: White Horse~ Taylor Swift Unbreak My Heart-Toni Braxton (oh well i was heartbroken on the first day of school? At the age of 4? Okay then...) Falling in Love: Stranger~Hilary Duff Dynomite~ Taio Cruz (Oh i remember, when i first got in a fight i had some dynomite instead of a water bottle) Breaking Up: Yesturday~Mary Mary Prom: I don't think about it~ Emily Osment (yeah cuz i haven't been to prom yet) Life: 5th Demension~B.O.B (yes my life has so many demensions to it) Mental Breakdown: Lemonade- Gucci Mane (what a better way to have a mental breakdown than to have Gucci Mane playing the background? Driving: Shut up and Drive~ Rihanna (i can't drive yet but i would play this when i drive) Flashback: these words~Natasha Bedingfields(that makes sense i mean, if i called someone ugly, then got in trouble i would mean it) Wedding: I Do(Cherish you)~ 98 degrees This would play ) Birth Of Child: She-Wolf~ Shakira (what a strange thing to play during my child's birth! The docter accusing my babe as being a wolf) Final Battle: No one~ Alicia Keys Death Scene: Grow Up Jesus~ Tony Watson (that would totally fit) Funeral: If I die Young~The Band Perry(I FREAKKING HATE YOU PLAYLIST!! Why must you fit so well in my life) End Credits: Replay~Iyaz ( okay really?! you wanna watch it again!?) Girls Don't realize these things; I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' 4 biggest lies ever told: 1. I'm fine 2. Dude.. I dont like ANYONE 3. Sorry, I dont have anymore gum. 4. I have read the terms and conditions. Favorite Codename Kids Next Door Quotes Operation Q.U.I.E.T. Operation D.A.T.E. Lizzie: But don't you want to look back at this years from now? Numbuh 1: I think that for this mission, we're going to have to couple up, so... (Numbuh 5 leans on Numbuh 2. Numbuh 3 takes Numbuh 4's hand) Umm... Operation B.E.A.C.H. Numbuh 2: Uhh... So, you next? Operation T.R.I.P. Twin Boy: All she wanted to do was entrap you, and felicitate your DOOM! But do you care? NO! Operation F.O.U.N.T.I.N. Operation B.U.T.T. Operation K.A.S.T.L.E. Operation C.A.K.E.D.-T.H.R.E.E. Numbuh 1: This. Is. Stupid! Why did you put a kajillion eggs in my room? Numbuh 3: Aww! The chickies think he's their mommy! Numbuh 1: OnceuponatimetherewasalittleRedRidingHoodandthewolfateher. The end. Operation T.R.I.C.K.Y. Operation H.O.S.P.I.T.A.L. Numbuh 4: She LOVES him! Whats so special about him? Whats he got that I ain' got? Numbuh 4: Uh, Numbuh 3? I know you, er, love this guy, but there is something I really have to tell you. Operation R.A.B.B.I.T. Operation C.A.K.E.D.-F.O.U.R. Operation S.A.T.U.R.N. Operation M.A.T.A.D.O.R. Numbuh 4: (Sees Numbuh 1's head disguised as a soccer ball) Hey, Somebody left a soccer ball. Its Beatles in the clear. Its Beatles for the goal. He shoots... Numbuh 2: Butter up guys! 'Cause we're TOAST! Operation S.N.O.W.I.N.G. Operation D.O.D.G.E.B.A.L.L. Numbuh 4: This time, its personal. Operation N.A.U.G.H.T.Y. Numbuh 3: (After Numbuh 4 gives her his french fries) This is the absolute- (Lets go of the sleigh and becomes herself again) -sweetest gift you've ever got me! (Lands on him giggling) Its also the only present you've ever got me, but who's counting? Ahhh. (Hugs him tightly) Operation Z.E.R.O. Numbuh 4: (He and Numbuh 3 are in a dark closet) Kuki, I'm scared. I don't know what to do next. Numbuh 5: Man Numbuh 1, I'm glad I'll never have to fight you. You're crazy. Father: (To Grandfather) You big JERK! Now you've made me angry! Very, very, ANGRY!- Oh forget it. Numbuh 3: (Takes Numbuh 4's hand) We'll go. I need to go pick up my "Brave in the Face of Certain Doom" Rainbow Monkey anyway. Operation W.H.I.T.E.H.O.U.S.E. General Wally Beatles: Ladies and gentlemen. It is high time we put an end to the Kids Next Door's ridiculous agenda of promoting later bedtimes and less homework. So, we will immediately use the combined might of the army, navy, air force, and marine animals to smash those twerps back to the bone age! All we need is our president to sign this. (Holds up the bill, looking confused) Eh, thinly sliced... thing with big words on it. General Wally Beatles: All troops, ready to fire in three... Oh darn! What comes after that? Oh forget it. FIRE!! Operation S.I.X. Numbuh 2: (Looking at the Rainbow Monkey tanker) That can't be the truck! (Presses button on keys and the horn plays the Rainbow Monkeys theme song) Yep, that's the truck. Numbuh 2: (After they get duped by the Delightful Children From Down The Lane) The roadblock was to stop me from delivering their birthday cake? Operation T.R.I.C.Y.C.L.E. Operation P.I.N.K.-E.Y.E. Numbuh 2: THAT was like having Muffy Jenkins as a lab partner. Too close. Operation S.P.A.C.E. Mushi: But what if the aliens... eat your head? Operation U.N.D.E.R.C.O.V.E.R. Operation E.N.D. Numbuh 1: Well Tommy, I'm surprised this piece of junk actually flies. Numbuh 2: So... Uh, when do the men in the white coats come take you to the happy hotel, huh? Numbuh 1: Numbuh 2! I need you to calculate our distance and thrust and tell us when to cast off. Operation R.O.B.B.E.R.S. Numbuh 4: Shh! I'm trying to find a way to spell 'Mississippi' with no s's! Operation T.R.A.I.N.I.N.G. Operation S.P.R.O.U.T. Operation H.O.U.N.D. Operation F.U.G.I.T.I.V.E. Operation C.A.K.E.D.-T.W.O. Operation L.I.C.E. Numbuh 1: Everyone follow my lead... (Starts running away) Numbuh 2: WAIT! You have to say something cool first! Like "Say cheese punk!" Or "Cheese to meet you!" Operation T.O.M.M.Y. Operation T.U.R.N.I.P. NO P IN THE OOL Operation N.O.-P.O.W.U.H. Numbuh 2: We've had enough of your gross, slimy cookin' lady. So I'm sendin' this dish back to the kitchen! Numbuh 5: "Sendin' it back to the-"? Come on, man! Operation P.I.A.N.O. Operation S.U.P.P.O.R.T. Ways to annoy people Name your dog "Dog" Start each meal by conspicoulusly licking all your food, then annoucne that its so no one will 'swipe your grub.' Follow a few paces behind someone spraying everything they touch with Lysol Making beeping noises when a large person backs up. Change the channel five mintues before the end of the show. Stand over someone's shoulder mombling as they read. Ask people what gender they are. Lick the filling out of all the Oreo cokkies and put them back in the tray. Sing along at the opera. Mow your lawn with scissors. Holler random numbers when someone is talking. Ways to annoy people in an elevator Ask "Did you hear that cable snapping sound. Sing the Barney theme song as loud as you can. You:My dad bought me a new mirror, my old one is broke. You:Do you want a piece of my mind. Frosty the Carrot-nose Snowman song lyrics (from Let's kill Frosty) (By SUNDEPENER) Frosty the Carrot-nose Snowman! All of the other snowmen used to laugh and call him names! Then one hungry Christmas eve Santa came to say. Then how the snowmen loved him. Frrosty the Carrot-Nose Snowman. Frost the Carrot-Nose Snowman! Please send me a message if you guys put this on your profiles. Friends Verses Best Friends Friend: Never asks for anything to eat or drink Friend: Calls your parents Mr. and Mrs. and your grandpa, Grandpa Friend: Would bail you out of jail Friend: Would bail you out again because you're "a good person" Friend: Have never seen you cry Friend: Asks you to write down your number Friend: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back Friend: Only knows a few things about you FRIENDS: Tell you that you look nice. FRIENDS: Say "good luck" when you go get your ears pierced. FRIENDS: Roll their eyes when you start rambling yet again about your boyfriend (the fourth time that night). FRIENDS: Smile when you get obsessed with something. FRIENDS: Say "sees you later!" FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number FRIENDS: Forgives you. FRIENDS: Tell jokes with you. FRIENDS: Tell you that you're the most annoying thing on earth. FRIENDS: Will help you move FRIENDS: Meet your boyfriend and say nice to meet you FRIENDS: Annoy you. FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house FRIENDS: Think you’re insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick FRIENDS: call you retarded for running through bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" Friend: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing Friend: Would knock on your front door Friend: You have to tell them not to tell anyone Friend: Are only with you through high school/college (lunch buddies) Friend: Will comfort when a guy rejects you Friend: Helps you find your prince Friend: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying Friend: Offers you soda Friend: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month Friend: Gives you their umbrella in the rain Friend: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough Friend: Will help you move Friend: Helps you up when you fall Friends: Will call the ambulance if you fall off a bridge Friends: Ask you what's wrong Friend: Tell you that you're too good for him when you get dumped Friend: Asks you why you're crying Friend: Hides you from the cops Friend: Will help you find your way when you're lost Friend: Will help you learn how to drive Friend: Would ignore this letter HOW TO TALK OVER THE WORLD POWERRUFF RED AND GREEN STYLE you would like to help Butch to take over the world, follow these procedures (You know you want to do this)- 1. Dress up in green shirts with black pants 2. dye your hair black (if it isn't already) 3. Put it in a cowlick or spike it up! 4. Set about twenty hospitals on fire (don't worry, not at the same time) 5. Put kittens in your diet (people do eat kittens somewhere) 6. Bully all the people you can at your school and/or workplace 7. Get a katana or anything dangerous 8. Use your imagination 9. Post this in your profile If you would like Buttercup to save you from Butch's crazed reign of the world, follow these procedures (this is for those 'sane' people) 1. Wear green dresses (yes, guys too) 2. Dye your hair black 3. Put it in a bob 4. Work out like heck 5. Stand up to those people who want Butch to take over the world 6. Get a katana or something dangerous to defend yourself and others with 7. Remember to play a lot of sports and beat people who work for Butch 8. Round up everyone who supports Blossom and Bubbles and cause a rebellion 9. Post this in your profile If you would like Brick to attack the people you despise, follow the procedures (I know you want to do this!)- 1. Wear red everywhere 2. Wear a red hat everywhere! 3. Continuously tease the people who say they are smarter than you are 4. Team up with the people who support Butch and his crazed reign! 5. Make sure Brick also becomes ruler of the world (back down Butch people) 6. Find Boomer followers and have them join 7. Make it seem like you have horrible anger issues (if you already do, then go to the next step) 8. Post this on your profile If you feel bad and want Blossom to save the people you despise, do these (these are for those who have ''feelings'')- 1. Wear a red bow (yes, guys too) 2. Study Chinese 3. Wear pink (yes, guys too) 4. Wear a really, really long red wig. 5. Stand up and make mean comments about the people who support Brick and Butch and Boomer 6. Team up with the Bubbles and Buttercup supporters (you must lead them) 7. Remember, you have to study, which means you have to be at the top of your class 8. Post this into your profile When i first saw you I was afraid to meet you When I first met you I was afraid to hold you When i first held you I was afraid to kiss you When i first kissed you I was afraid to love you And now that i love you I'm afraid to lose you Pick your birth month JANUARY: FEBRUARY: MARCH: APRIL: MAY: JUNE: JULY: AUGUST: SEPTEMBER: OCTOBER: NOVEMBER: DECEMBER: Remeber Back in the Day.. When your close friends became strangers? Lollipops turned into cigarettes? The innocent ones turned into sluts? Homework goes in the trash? Soda became vodka? When getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dads shoulders were the highest place on earth? Mom was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings? Race issues were about who ran the fastest? The only drug you knew was cough medicine? Wearing a skirt didn't make you a slut? The only thing that hurt you was skinned knees? Goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? And when we couldn't wait to grow up? If you still have that little kid inside you, repost this so others can remember back in the day... 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. Comebacks to Cheesy pick-up lines Man: Haven't I seen you before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: So you wanna go back to my place? Man: Your place or mine? Man: I'd like to call you whats your phone number? Man: But I don't know your name. Man: So what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: I can tell you want me. Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy. Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I know how to please a women. Man: I woud go to the end of the Earth for you. After hearing for the pick up line Older man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Whats it like being the most beautiful woman in this bar? Man: Hey baby! That dress looks gorgeus on you! But it would look even better lying on my bedroom floor. Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No. Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No. Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No. Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No. Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No. Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose me or you life. Boy: Me The girl runs away in shock and pain. "The reason you never cross my mind ic because you're lways on my mind." "The reason I don't like you because I love you." "The reason I don't want you is beuase I need you." "The reason I woulnd't cry if you left is becuase I would die if you left." "The reason I wouldn't live for you because I would die for you." "The reason I woulnd't do anything for you is becuse I would do everything for you." "The reason I chose my life because you are my life!!!!" Dude I hate these things but it's kind of freaky: This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. I usually wouldn't do this but the thought of that scares me. there were 3girls They were looking through peoples The girl slowly came upon this one It had creatures in the background and the man She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was. Right then, an instant message came up. It said: SatanStalker: So how do u like my XxLoVemExX: What?? XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway?? SatanStalker: Well, you should know; XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro?? SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace. XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make SatanStalker: I just do. Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you. Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say. At the time the girl was wearing high She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me. SatanStalker: You should be afraid. SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you They were in shock. Her friend: Holy crap man just block him The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes SatanStalker: I am. SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really XxLoVemExX: What? My house? SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out. SatanStalker: Your screen name says SatanStalker has just signed off. The girl and her friend were really friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone. They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight. All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok. Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was She goes and knocks but no one said she opens it and finds her friend there on her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head. If you do not repost this in the next two one in your room, and one killing your parents at that Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for? Repost or you are going to die (I HATE these but, if my parents die i'd feel horrible) Me and my teacher (Fake didn't happen) Teacher: Stop reading. Me: I wish I could but I need to finish this besides i know this. Teacher: Do this on your persoanl time. Me: What personal time! You get me up at 7:00 and Keep me here till 4:45. You take all my personal time. Don't get me started on my home work. Me and MY friends ( Fake but I wish it was real) Friend 1: Stop reading. Me: Nope. Friend 2: Pay ateention to the teacher. Its rude. Me: Listen here I'm doing something. Stop telling me what to do. I don't know if you noticed but you still do your homework off of me! When you get somethig above a C then we can talk about this. Friend 3: Told you not to mess with her. Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer. When life hands you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes! I'm so gangsta, I carry a squirt gun." The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas." "Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission." "Silence is the virtue of fools." "I look forward to these confrontations with the press to kind of balance up the nice and pleasant things that come to me as president. " "It is the eye of ignorance that assigns a fixed and unchangeable color to every object; beware of this stumbling block. " Let the future tell the truth, and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I have really worked, is mine." "To be great is to be misunderstood." "I doubt that the imagination can be suppressed. If you truly eradicated it in a child, he would grow up to be an eggplant. " "Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought. "- Pope John Paul II When life hands you lemons, shut up and eat your lemons! Let's face it. This isn't the worst thing you've caught me doing." -Tony Stark, Iron Man "Four of you tried to kill me. One of you succeeded." Jack Sparrow, At Worlds End "Humans. Are. Superior." John Criton, Farscape [while on top of Batman] "No, no! Stop, it's better this way." Joker, Under the Red Hood "Evil beware. We have waffles." Raven, Teen Titans "I'm NYPD. That stands for Knock Your Punk @$$ Down." J, Men In Black "Oh...and there's probably something in your closet." Gru, Despicable Me "Th'people are dead." Wade, X-Men Origins "The lights are out! It must be Dark!" D-Grey Man "Buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?" Buddy, Elf {"They're staring at me like I'm the first black person they've ever seen." -"Nah." -[a little girl rides up on a bike] "Are you Frederick Douglas?" -"Sean, we need to leave. Now." Sean & Gus, Psych} "Are you shrinkwrapped? When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, sit back, and laugh as the world wonders how you did it. A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems. - Whoever said "Anything is possible" obviously never tried to slam a revoloving door. ( Tell me you've never tried and I won't believe you! ) - I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well... - Video games screwed up my life... good thing I have two extra lives... Never argue with an idiot they'll just bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. If you can't beat a computer at chess than ,try kickboxing!! ( I know I can't) My whipped ice dairy drink brings the attention of males to my place of residence and/or employment, and it far surpasses that of yours. Absolutely, it surpasses yours. I can convey to you this recipe, but I have to demand compensation. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, ususally it's just an oncoming train Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!" -Near and Boomer "Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up." - Beyond and Misa Palm Reader: -gasp- "You're going to die. But don't worry, you'll live through it A consultant is some one who takes a subject you already know and makes it confusing. Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference. When you're right no one remebers, when you're wrong no one forgets. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Last night i was looking at the stars and thought "where the heck is my ceiling!" Everybody makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when no one else is looking. He who laughs last thinks the slowest. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. I like work. It fascintes me. I can stare at look at it for hours. When life gives you lemon, throw them back and tell life to make its own dang lemonade!! "Real artificial bacon bits" Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go out and buy myself some real-fake bacon bits. Not just fake-fake, real-fake. When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let life wonder how the heck you did that. If you can't see the bright side of life. polish the dull one. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. If someone says there are a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if someone say that there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it? Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile. Music is love in search of word. " What!? I'm going to be queen of the earth, and to my 1st grade teacher said i'll never get out of grade school" -Serena (Sailor Moon) "Me a parent ohh know wonder this brat annoys me so much she takes after you, don't you think" -Serena (Sailor moon) "First rule of leadership: everything is your fault." ~Hopper, A Bug's Life "Okay, here's how we'll chose... eeinie, meeinie, minie," (Points to herself) "I ain't goin'." ~Numbah Five, Codename: Kids Next Door "Once-upon-a-time-there-was-a-girl-named-little-red-riding-hood-and-the-wolf-ate-her-the-end." ~numbuh 1, Codename: Kids Next Door "Get off our planet alien scum" ~ Spinalli, Recess I'M A BLACK BELT IN ORIGAMI! ~ T.J., Recess "We read, to know we're not alone." C. S. Lewis Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. My heart is not a playground All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear I hate it when people say: "When life give you lemons, make lemonade." Well, you know what, life never gave you water and sugar, so you can only make lemon juice. "It's always in the last place you look" Well duh, who keeps looking after they found it. "Life is short" What? Name one thing you do that is longer than life. Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter. I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not. "I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY SECOND OF IT" Guy 1: WELCOME BACK! Take a Ride on the RANDOM SIDE!!! Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it. I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me. Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water! Anyone can reach the stars. If you can't reach them, catch one that falls. No GOD, NO HOPE When your talking in the hallways with your friends, you tend to walk slower...So ditch them and hurry to class before your late! Life is like an hour glass glued to the table...Unless you rip it off the table and turn it upside down. Why not today... Mend a quarrel why not today why not today why not today why not today Speak of love Speak it again SPeak it still once again! ~ The secret to sucess is serenity. Once you fake that you're good. Where there's a will...there are five hundred relitives. It dosen't matter if you win or lose; what matters if I win or lose. I used to have super powers. My theripist took them away. Love you're enemies it gets them really confused. There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs. I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up. I dream of a better tomorrow--when chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned. You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? I dont have a short attention span, I just...oh look, a kitty! I ran with scissors, and lived I live in my own little world, but it's ok, everyone knows me here :) I can only please on person per day. Today's not your day. Tommorrow's not looking good either. Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. (Got this from a t-shirt.) I'd explain it to you but your head would explode. Anythig thrown hard enough should hurt. Flying is simple just throw yourself at the ground and miss. I couldn't repiar your breaks so I made the horn louder. I don't get even I get odder. Chaos, panic, pandomonium my work here is done. Two wrongs don't make a wright but it makes a good excuse! Excuse me while I try to find a container for my joy. You're slower than turtles stampeding through penut butter. Never meddle thrrought the affairs of dragons. To them you're cruchy and taste good with ketchup. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. And that, my children, is a wall. But Beware! the wall is solid! Yes, be afraid! Be very afraid, for we cannot walk through walls! Believe me, my children, for i have tried many times. (we cant?!) Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. (No, Britney Spears killed the cat! Boomer had NOTHING to do with it!) trust is like a mirror, Most people are alive today, simply cause its illeagal to kill them. (it's illegal?? {hides bazuka behind back}) 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctors cute, screw the fruit. Sarcasm is your mind's natural defense against stupidity. Those who live by the sword . . . get shot by those who don’t. I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn. There are no stupid questions, just a bunch of inquisitive idiots. (most of which are in my family and friendship circle) Do you want to know why Im still on earth? Heaven denied my entrance and Him is afraid I might take over. Bob tried to take my cookie. Bob isnt with us any more Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed. (Then why don't we send Hilary Clinton there?) Highschool Musical and Saw V were the top two movies at the box office when they were open. One, depiced and grusome on screen torture, the other about a guy with a saw Sometimes I wonder " Why is that frizbee getting bigger?" then it hits me. - One day your prince will come.Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. - Everything is funny... as long as its happening to somebody else. - You're a great friend..But if the Apocalypse comes and we're being chased by zombies I'm tripping you. - Today I was having this stare down with this other girl...She was really good but then I blinked and realized it was only my reflection. - Do NOT put yourself on fire... It really hurts... - Of course I'm talkin' to myself...Who else can I trust? - My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil - I have a life. I simply prefer to spend it online. - DON'T HIT KIDS! No seriously, they have guns now. - If a turtle loses his shell is he naked or homeless? - So? I'm a little crazy. What's your point? - Don't take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyways. - It's weird when you're toilet tells you " I'm sick and tired of your crap." - The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Of course I'm gonna drive! I'm too drunk to walk! - I did not hit you. I simply high-fived your face. - I didn't run into the door, my face decided to say hello. - I can't brain today... I have the Dumb. - Sometimes I wish I were a monkey. Then I could throw poop at people and it would be legal. - Say no to drugs! Say yes to enchiladas! - I never finish anyth Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary. Did you know Sarcasm is your body’s natural defense against stupidity? The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen! - My friends are 90 of why I get up each morning, the other 10 is because I have to pee. - I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly - It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then It's hilarious... - You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you. “There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.” Have you seen my mind? I think I've lost it. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because you boyfriend thinks I am." "I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I'm dumb enough to try anything!" Beast boy, Teen Titans (words to live by...a true visonary. Lol.) People like you are the reasons we have middle fingers." A smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home." "Don't chase your dreams, catch them." -The key to getting your mother to shut up!! IT'S BEEN SOLVED!! Here it is: Roses are red, - If at first you don't succeed, Then skydiving isn't for you! - You say I'm not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I'm not Cold then I'm Hot. I know I'm Hot. Thank You for embracing it! There are some things we'll never understand, but still spend a life time trying. So just exept what you can't understand and be cluless and that department because ther are more important things in life. - When in doubt, make up words! - Ask no questions and I will tell no lies. - Never mind, it's complex.(person 1) The way your mind works gives a new meaning to the word complex... and not in a good way.( person 2) - Shoot for the moon, if you miss you'll land among the stars... - There is a line between love and hate. You can only truly hate the ones you once loved. A passion that can never die. "You must put up a little rain to get to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow." "Be courageous, it's the only place left uncrowded One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. - Give a person a fish and feed them for a day, teach them how to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks! - A postitve attitude may not solve all your problems, but it annoys enough people to make it worth it! - I'm not insensitive, I just dont care. if at first you don't succeed, say 'screw this' and walk away - Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. - There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... - Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers. -I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Forget scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you ! - When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them. - Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun! - The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. - Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe. - Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. - What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...i wonder... - If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. - Before you critisize someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way you'll be a mile away and have their shoes! - The statistics of insanty is that 1 of every 4 people have a mental illness. Look at your three best friends, if they're ok, then it's you! - When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. - A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work. I'm not random, you just can't think as fast as me. MOO... I'm a fish. A good friend will pay the bail when your in jail ...an even better friend will be in jail with you saying:" man, we screwed up" I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. where the HECK is my roof! If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen! Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run! Death hates that. A person who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. -Anonymous 7/5 of all people do not understand fractions. -Anonymous The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. -Anonymous If you can't convince them... confuse them! -Anonymous It's not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility! -Anonymous Don't worry too much about what people think, because they seldom do. -Anonymous 1492: Native Americans find Columbus lost at sea. -Anonymous (Personally, I like this version better.) I was thinking, while I was running... About not hitting trees, I hope. - What is sense, in a world full of fools? Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master... He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher... He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer... He had no army, yet kings feared him... He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world... He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him... He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us... If you believe in the true God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost "Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies." Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, right? Why are the Force and duck tape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together. When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS! "They wish to cure us, but I say we are the cure. When I say LOL I'm not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say. When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. Harry Potter. Because some of us died inside when we didn't recieve our Hogwarts letters. If you have ever started to read a chapter, forgot to finish it and then find out the author posted up another chapter, reading that chapter and not understanding it, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. 30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you're on of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste best friend is one who can put their problems aside to help you with yours If your up on the table dancing like a retard ill get up there and dance with ya True friends are the ones you would count if you were only allowed to use one hand. The true meaning of friends is being able to go out in public dressed like total retards with each other and not give a care in the world what you look like. No matter wut people tell u want to know if u can trust ur friends, give them a knife and turn around a friend will save u from a hot, red, bouncy ball being thrown at u in the steam room Okay so. there's this thing called We may not be the popular ones, we may not be the jocks, or the preps, but we are the ones you will find having the most fun We are the type of friends who will laugh uncontrollably for 5 minutes because somebody looked at us. Friendship means waiting half an hour for a friend who's running late, then telling them it's okay that you had to wait that long. Friends come before boys. You have known your friends longer and you know you can trust them. Most boys break your heart and your friends are usually the ones that make you feel better. Just crank up the volume and we can sing like superstars, and dance like we're famous... Friends are the ones who dont point things out to you, cause they're afraid you'll get mad or embarrassed. True friends are the ones who'll say - Forget love..I'd rather fall in chocolate! - Yes, I'm weird. No, I don't care. - Silence is golden and duct tape is silver. - Girls are better than boys because we're girls. Without us, boys wouldn't be here. - Girls rule, boys suck. The. End. - Yes, I ask stupid questions. Yes, I do it on purpose. - Our opinion is not ridiculous or little. It is smart alecky and important. - Do you make an effort to be an idiot..or is it a gift? - If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. - You can't always argue with all of the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention. ~Brom, Eragon - I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, " You will die in seven days..." Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world. -Anonymous The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up. -Anonymous Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back. -Anonymous When in charge: ponder, when in doubt: mumble, when in trouble: run. -Anonymous Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary, from time to time, to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. -Miss Piggy, Muppet Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about. -Anonymous Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder Children... you spend 2 years teaching them how to walk and talk, you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it. I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Best friends through thick and thin! Oops! did my sarcasm hurt your feelings? - I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out. - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! but not my brain. I need that. - Life isnt passing me by; it's trying to run me over. ( Run Forrest Run! ) There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. Kids are the future. Be scared. Be very scared. I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones i accept! - Therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide. - I use Joey ate my last stick of gum. So I killed him... do you think that was wrong? I used to see a shrink... until she said life isnt for everyone. - Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it. - If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? - I live in my own little world. but it's ok, they know me there. - Money can't buy happiness. it just buys everything you need to acheive it. - Three wise women would have stopped to ask for directions, got to the stable on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, cooked the dinner, and there would have been peace on earth. - The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide. - Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend. - Tell the truth and run. - A good friend will always bail you out of jail. A best friend is sitting ther next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!' - Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable. But that is called 'cannibalism' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Dducation is important. School however, is another matter. - I used to be normal... until I met those freaks I call my friends. - If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from? ( Moron's! Duh! ) - Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures? - If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something. I've heard that its possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. - No, I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me. - You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. -When Life gives you lemons, throw them back, because I mean really? who likes lemons? I know you think you understood what I said, but what you heard was not what I meant. -Anonymous I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was going to blame you. -Anonymous (my personal favorite...) Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do. -Anonymous Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? -Anonymous "If a rose represents love, then why does it die? It dies to be renewed again showing the end is the beginning." "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time, we have spent most of life trying to save." "What is living if you don't actually live?" "If life gives you lemons, squirt them in someone's eyes and run away. If they call the police, squirt them in the eyes too." "An unlit candle, frightens no monkey..." "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because you boyfriend thinks I am." "Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do insult them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes." – Anon. Boys are like slinkies; practically useless, and yet it is SO amusing to watch them fall down the stairs! Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up. My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by. I don't obsess! I think intensely. If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out. Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil. The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is. Thirty was so strange for me. I've really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult. You can't get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me. Bubbles: Professor! There's a stranger on the phone! 100 per cent of us die, and the percentage cannot be increased. It's the job that's never started takes longest to finish. “There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.” The English language is a language that lurks in dark alleys beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary. "She reads plays, she embroiders. She is artless, unwed, and useless." If life gives you lemons...Keep 'em cuz.Hey. Free lemons I have a brain, I just don't use it much." Beast boy, Teen Titans "Well if you want to be a teacher's pet, then well you just better forget. Rock got no rhythm, Rock got no rhyme. You just better get me to school on time," - Chorus from Zach song, School Of Rock "If ya don't love love, ya stab love in the heart. Get it? Heart. It's love!" My friend Harrison after he broke up with his girlfriend. "For Godsake wally! Put your pants on!" "Chubby hotdogs!" "Lucious Malfoy's got a Magic Stick "He's got he Magic Stick! Wha...wha! The Magic Stick!" when you have skittles,go to the movies,stand at the front of the theatre,open the skittles,chuck them at random people, and say, "taste the ranbow!!" "When you're blue, and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits- Puttin' on the Ritz!" "When you want something, stand up and fight for it. When an obstacle knocks you down, get up and fight again. When another obstacle knocks you down, stand up and fight again. When another obstacle pushes you down, stay down because obviously you suck at fighting "I have an idea...an idea so good my head would explode if I even began to realize what I was talking about!" "That Blue Man Group...total ripoff of the Smurfs." "I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I'm dumb enough to try anything!" Beast boy, Teen Titans (words to live by...a true visonary. Lol.) "I'm having one of those things; you know- a headache with pictures?" Fry, Futurama "You're the evil waffle people who stole my waffles!" Cyborg, Teen Titans "I want to fix that in my memory forever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..." Roy Weasley, Harry Potter "Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea-cozy." Ron Weasely, Harry Potter "Well, I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive. Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting, and bite all at once?" Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter "Azkaban- the wizard's prison, Goyle. Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backwards." Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter "Fine. Go naked. And, Harry, make sure you get a picture of him Ron. Goodness knows I could do with a laugh." Molly Weasely, Harry Potter "I have something to say. Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you." Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter If the snow is white, it's alright. If it's yellow or green, it's just not clean. - Koda, "Brother Bear" If one window is close check the other one but if that one is also closed, break down the door." "Sure I'd love to help you out... Now which way did you come from?" "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because you boyfriend thinks I am." "When life hands you lemons, make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did that." "People like you are the reasons we have middle fingers." "If a rose represents love, then why does it die? It dies to be renewed again showing the end is the beginning." "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time, we have spent most of life trying to save." "What is living if you don't actually live?" "Life is like a novel with the end ripped out." (Rascal Flatt's song STAND) "It's not how hard you hit, its how hard you get hit and keep moving." "In our pursuit to find the enemy we come face to face with ourselves." (This reminds me of Zuko somehow) "A memory last forever, it never dies. But you go making new ones." "You can never go through life without pain." "Pain does not make you weak. Each time you make it through pain the stronger you will become." "Death is never forever. Our souls will roam for eternity." "What's the sense of standing up if you have never fall down from your mistakes." "Nobody is perfect. So I'm Nobody." "Sorry is a useless word to me. No matter how much you say it, it can never change the past." "Good and evil can not exist without each other." "If you say sorry I must believe it." "Goodbye is not a word. No matter who you say it too you will see them in the near future." "What would you attempt to do if you know you will not fail?" "Its better to have tried and failed, then to not try at all." "Fate may chose your destination, but your mind and heart lies unaltered." "Live you life to the fullest because you never know when it will end." "You might have won the battle but I won the war." He he reminds me of ATLA "The path for love and a road for heartbreak. "If opprotuinity doesn't knock, build a door." "To some, an obstacle is an excuse to quit. To other it is an opportunity to grow stonger." "Make your training a hell, so the real fight won't be." "When you forgive, you set a prisoner free. And then you discover that the prisoner was you." "Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that's the one that is going to require the most from you." "If they choose to judge you, it says more about them, then it does about you." "I am who I want to be, not what others see me as." "Computers make very accurate mistakes. (2+2=3 Calculated in 0.000000001 seconds)" "If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room." " If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?" "If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost." "OK, I'm wierd! But I'm saving up to become eccentric." "I trend to think in simple, clear terms that are wrong. (I is wierd!)" "Yo-yo: an object occasionally up but normally down (See also: computer)." "Beware of the letter "G." It is the end of everything." "I do visit reality, although it's on a tourist visa." The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot." "Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'" "People are like slinkies. Basically useless. But yet it is so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs" "Don't play dumb with me, I'll always win." "Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark." "He learned what every man must learn...never insult a girl's looks, especially if said girl can kick your ass" "I'm not awesome, you just suck." "IT'S THE SUGAR TALKING, I SWEAR!" "Ladies and gentlemen, as I stand here before you, sitting behind you, I am here to tell you something I know nothing about. Next Wednsday, being last Friday, there'll be a lady's convention for men only. Admission is free, you pay at the door, pull up a chair, and sit on the floor." "People say violence isn't the answer. Well, they're right. Violence is the question. The answer is 'HELL YES'." "I never said I was normal... you just presumed I was." Why go to expensive therapy when bubble wrap is free? -I like to wave at those moments as they pass by. -Holy Batman, Taco! -Sit, boy!! Don't follow in my footsteps, I walk into walls! Why don't you just go jump off a cliff? This morning, I woke up and asked myself: "I wonder what I can do to piss someone off today...?" The weather man lied! If you can't beat them, run for your life. If they catch you, play dead The crazy people made me their leader, but then my mom took me away from the asylum we were in... "On your grave it will say 'always at the wrong place, at the wrong time!'" "Joseph...You're an odd boy." "You came back from the dead to tell me I'm odd?" "If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike." They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well I think guns help. I mean if you stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill too many people. "Life's a bowl of punch. Go ahead and spike it." "Stupidity got us into this, why can't it get us out?" "Leadership's not about fireing bullets and stabbing people...it's about being able to tell others to fire bullets and stab people "Flying is not inherently dangerous; crashing is." "If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?" "One thing you can learn by watching the clock: It passes the time by keeping its hands busy." "Normality will be restored as soon as we're sure what it is." "In dog years, I'm dead." "To be wise you must be young and stupid." "I have animal magnetism-when I go outside squirrels stick to my clothes." "The trouble with real life is that there's no background music." "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts." "I have not lost my mind; it's backed up on a disk somewhere." "A smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home." "Don't chase your dreams, catch them." "You must put up a little rain to get to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow." "Be courageous, it's the only place left uncrowded Me: I'm going out. MoM: Where you going? Me: Going to beat up 5996 People. MoM: By ur self? Me: Nah 133429 People If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven. To Every Girl Who's the last person you had a conversation with and what did you say? Me- I see londen i see france i see your undiepants(to little bro) Bro-Your so immature Me-Oh? I know you are but what am i Bro- that was the worst comeback i've ever heard you say Me- i know you are but what am i Bro- Wha?! i'm not a comeback Me- don't sniff pickle juice, it burns SUCKA Bro-*Facepalm* Where are you? I'm not telling u Look up, now look back. What did you see? light fixture What's the last thing you ate? What's your personality like? Who Do you like? ME...er kind of on second thought that's a little creepy i like...wait, i'm not telling you What was the last thing you thought? The last thing i thought about is what i'm going to type You have a million dollars. What do you do? What are you eating/drinking RIGHT NOW? iced tea with lemon(that's right, i'm sophisticated) What are you thinking RIGHT NOW? What's it like being you? What are your thoughts on writing? Really hard, i'm to lazy to do it How tall are you? What book are you currently reading? Actually i'm in the library looking for something...Aww man, i gave away my location What music are you listening to? What was the last website you visited before fanfiction? fanfiction is my homepage sooooooo nothing What was the last thing you cooked? What color are the walls of the room you are in? pink and blue Do you know who the governor of your state is? How many different programs are open on your computer right now? 3 Have you ever been water-skiing? What is the weather like? Are you going an vacation this summer and when? IDK Anything else? my favorite key on the keyboard is ~ cuz it's squiggly Grr... men... sigh for all those cheating buttheads out there... you have no morals and go burn in hell... TRY NOT TO CRY Mommy...dylan brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to church , I got straight A's, I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said good-bye. I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When dylan shot the gun, he hit me and many others, And all because dylan , got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though, deserves this. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my head, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the dead When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an saint, I really wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my boyfriend I'm sorry I have to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you" In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Please if you would, If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't. A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it? If you trust in God and as the one and only, then copy and paste this in your profile Every hour 12 women are raped. COPY AND PASTE THIS ON YOUR PAGE IF YOU ARE AGAINST ANY FORM OF VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN!! Ah, tha's better Now to get something to eat! What do I feel like? (Opens the fridge) Ah! Just what I need! (Grabs the food) (Opens mouth) Aaaahhhh... (BEEP BEEP BEEP) WHAT THE FUDGE!?! KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!! If you're against bombs being hidden by terrorists and want it to stop, copy and paste this on your profile. I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back. The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.' Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'' 'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him. Now you have 2 choices: 1) Repost this message, or When were 8 years old, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it on his lap When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him. You And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came Its ok to cry. Her name was Auroura Her dad was a drunk Her only friend She always talked to it Until her parents A bruise on her leg But she grabs her bear She sits in the corner Such a bad life Then one night Then her mom suddenly She thrusted the blade The mom walked out Police showed up One officer slowly It must have been bad If your against child abuse then repost this on your profile. COCA COLA WENT TO TOWN PEPSI COLA KNOCKED HIM DOWN DR PEPPER PICKED HIM UP NOW WE'RE DRINKING 7 UP. 7 UP CAUGHT THE FLU AND NOW WE'RE DRINKING MOUNTAIN DEW MOUNTAIN DEW FELL OFF THE MOUNTAIN NOW WE'RE DRINKING WATER FOUNTAIN WATER FOUNTAIN BROKE AND NOW WE'RE DRINKING COKE! REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. MY FRIEND *BEEP(i ain't telin you her name stalkers)* made this up and sent to to me and now i'm sharing it with the world jabadoodle:oh man , why i got to be adopted mama?? A DIFFERENT DAY LATER ON mama: son were moving jabadoodle: i dont care mama : well exscuse me whos the one who gave birth to you? jabadoodle: not you LATER LATER AT THE MOVIES WITH SOME GUY jabadoodle: lalalalalalalalalalalalala jabadoodle: ahhhhhhhhh! some guy: what jabadoodle: nothin someguy: so jabadoodle: get yo nasty,crusty, shrively hands off a me! someguy:um, i jabadoodle: i aint named jabadoodle for no reason! some guy: and what is that reason jabadoodle: i havent really sorted that out yet so um well lets just um well kinda skip this part and get to the part when we break up some guy: WE WERE NEVER TOGETHER jabadoodle: um i know i just like that part some guy; I DO NOT EVEN KNOW YOU jabadoodle: ok no need to yell some guy: you know what let me tell you something- jabadoodle:what some guy: GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEE jabadoodle: ok fine just tryna have a nice conversation with the community but ok be like that i aint yo friend and never will be all i wanted was some ice cream but NO i aint got no money i aint got no car i aint got nothin then you come out of no where and start yellin why why life got to be like this all i know is my mama aint raise me that way sir you got problems in the brain if you know what i mean- some guy: GO GO GO GO GO GO LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LET ME WATCH THE STANKIN MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!! jabadoodle: ok be like that i don't need you hmmph What is your favorite abbreviation to write? LSFHIDMTAMSFO= laughing so freaking hard i drop my taco and my sombrero falls off Month one Mommy Month Two Mommy Month Three You know what Mommy Month Four Mommy Month Five You went to the doctor today. Month Six I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven Mommy Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped. If you're against abortion, re-post this Go very fast and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person can't. this is this cat this is is cat this is how cat this is to cat this is keep cat this is a cat this is retard cat this is busy cat this is for cat this is forty cat this is seconds cat Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on. AVATAR FUNNIES Guru Pathik: Chakras, Chakras, everybody loves chakras. Chakras, chakras. XXXXXX Sokka: (hallucinating after drinking cactus juice)Drink cactus juice, it'll quench ya. Nothing's quenchier. It's the quenchiest XXXXXX Toph:What're you doing here, Twinkle Toes? Aang:How'd you know it was me? Sokka: Don't answer to twinkle toes, its not manly! Katara: You're the one whose bag matches his belt! XXXXXX (Pirates capture Aang in net) Pirate: I got him, come on! Sokka: Oh, what! I'm not good enough to kidnap? (Pirates capture him in a net, too) XXXXXX Sokka: I don’t think so. We need some intelligence if we’re gonna win this war. XXXXXX Guard: Look! that lemur! it's earthbending Sokka: No silly, it's the girl Gurad: Oh(looking down) capture the girl XXXXXXX Sokka: What is that thing? Aang: This is Appa, my flying bison. Sokka(sarcastically): Right, and this is Katara, my flying sister. "Who knew floating on a piece of driftwood for 3 weeks with no food or water and vultures waiting to pluck out your liver could make one so tense?" ~Uncle Iroh, The Avatar State "Well then, maybe you should worry less about the tides, who have already made up their mind about killing you, and worry more about me, who's still mulling it over." ~Princess Azula, The Avatar State "Guys, wait! This was in my dream. We shouldn't go to the market!" "What happened in your dream?" "Food eats people!" ~Sokka and Katara, The Storm "Yeah, this makes a lot of sense! Let's bring the guy who's constantly trying to kill us!" ~Sokka, The Siege of the North pt. 2 "Someone's a little light on his feet! What's your fighting name, The Fancy Dancer?" ~Toph, The Blind Bandit "I'm the plan guy, you two are the chop-stuff-up-with-waterbending guys! Together, we're team Avatar!" ~Sokka, The Drill "You rise with the moon. I rise with the sun." ~Zuko, The Siege of the North pt. 1 "You have.. quite an appetite.. for a girl.." ~Zuko, Tales of Ba Sing Se "PENGUINS!!" ~Aang, The Boy in the Iceburg "Sokka, wake up! There's a prickle snake in your sleeping bag!" ~Aang, The Southern Air Temple "If my father thinks the other nations will follow him willingly, then he is a fool." ~Zuko, The Southern Air Temple "That's why we're drinking tea. To calm the mind." "Oh yeah, good point! I mean.. yes." ~Zuko and Iroh, Bitter Work "Haha! Rock beats airbender!" ~Sokka, Bitter Work "I'm Chong and this is my wife Lily. We're nomads, happy to go wherever the wind takes us!" "You guys are nomads? That's great! I'm a nomad!" "Hey, me too!" "..I know.. you just said that." ~Chong and Aang, The Cave of Two Lovers "Can your fortune telling explain that?" (points to volcano) "Can your science explain why it rains?" "Yes! Yes, it can!" ~Sokka and some other guy, The Fortuneteller "So some people don't like you. Big deal! There's a whole nation of firebenders who hate you! Now let's bust you out of here." "I can't." "Sure you can! A little (blows) SWISH-SWISH-SWISH airbending slice! And we're on our way!" ~Sokka and Aang, Avatar Day "Ugh, I think I've heard of pentapox! Didn't your cousin Chang die of it?" "We'd better go wash our hands.. and burn our clothes!" ~Fire Nation soldiers, Return to Omashu "I know how you must feel about my nephew, but you must believe me when I tell you there's good inside him." "Good inside him isn't good enough. Come back when it's on the outside." ~Iroh and Sokka, The Crossroads of Destiny "I am the greatest earthbender in the world! And don't you two dunderheads EVER forget it!" ~Toph, The Guru "Hey, what smells so good?" "The sisters make perfumes here." "Well then maybe we should dump some on Appa! You know, because he smells so bad!" "...You have your father's wit." ~Sokka and Bato, Bato of the Water Tribe XXXX "So this is your girlfriend? No wonder she left, she's way to pretty for you." ~Jun, Bato of the Water Tribe XXXXX "Where is he? Where's the Avatar?" "We split up. He's long gone." "How stupid do you think I am?" Pretty stupid. Run!" ~Zuko and Sokka, Bato of the Water Tribe XXXX "I'm so sorry, Aang. This is all my fault!" "No, Katara, it isn't." "Actually, it is." ~Katara, Aang, and Iroh, The Waterbending Scroll XXXXXXXX Zuko: I've spent years preparing for this encounter. Training, meditating...you're just a child! Aang: Well, you're just a teenager. XXXXXXXx Iroh: So this is how the great Commander Zhao acts in defeat? Disgraceful. Even in exile, my nephew is more honorable than you. Thanks again for the tea. It was delicious. [Iroh and Zuko leave] Zuko: Did you really mean that, uncle? Iroh: Of course. I told you ginseng tea is my favorite. XXXXXXXXX Katara: He's just upset because a bunch of girls kicked his butt yesterday. Sokka: They snuck up on me! Katara: Right. And then they kicked your butt. XXXXXXXXX Warden: Tell me exactly what you saw. Captain: Well sir, it looked like a flying bison. Warden: What? Soldier: It was a giant flying buffalo, sir, with an empty saddle. Warden: Which was it? A buffalo or a bison? Captain: I'm not sure what the difference is, but that's not the point is it sir? Warden: I'll decide what the point is, fool. (Warden throws the Captain overboard) Warden: You! Wake up the Captain! Search the entire rig. Soldier: Sir. Warden: What? Soldier: That was the Captain you just threw overboard. So... Warden: Then wake up someone I haven't thrown overboard and search the rig. There's something going on here and I don't like it. XXXXXXXXX Aang(To Appa): You did it buddy, nice flying. (Appa yawns in exhaustion) Katara: Aw, you must be tired. Sokka: No. I'm good. Refreshed and ready to fight some firebenders. Katara: I was talking to Appa. Sokka: Well, I was talking to Momo. XXXXXXXX Sokka: Great. So, what am I supposed to do? Aang: You could clean the gunk out of Appa's toes. Sokka: So while you guys are playing in the water, I'm supposed to be hard at work picking mud out of a giant bison's feet? Aang: Mud and bugs. Sokka: (looks at stick, then Aang, then stick again.) Okay. XXXXXXX Zuko(to Katara after she runs into pirates): I'll save you from the pirates. XXXXXXXX Katara: Aang, this is all my fault. Aang: No, Katara, it isn't. Iroh: Yeah, it kind of is. XXXXXXXXX Iroh: Are you so busy fighting you cannot see your own ship has set sail? Zuko: We have no time for your proverbs, uncle! Iroh: It's no proverb. [Aang and others getting away in pirate ship] Pirate Captain: Bleeding hog monkeys! [Zuko laughs; the pirates laugh as they drift after Aang and his friends] Zuko: Hey! That's my boat! [runs after them] Iroh: Maybe it should be a proverb. XXXXXXXXXXXXX Aang: Walking stinks! How do people go anywhere without a flying bison? Katara: (mockingly)Well, I don't know, Aang. Why don't you ask Sokka's instincts? They seem to know everything! Sokka: (sarcastically) Ha ha, very funny. Aang: I'm tired of carrying this pack. Katara: You know who should you ask to carry for awhile? Sokka's instincts! Aang: That's a great idea! Hey! Sokka's instincts! Would you mind..? XXXXXXX Katara: Well, we better smoothly fly ourselves to a market 'cause we're out of food. Sokka: Guys, wait! This was in my dream. We shouldn't go to the market. Katara: What happened in your dream? Sokka: Food eatspeople! Also, Momo could talk. (to Momo) You said some very unkind things. XXXXXXX Sokka: I'm too young to die! Old Fisherman: I'm not, but I still don't wanna! XXXXXX Zuko: (pushing through a crowd)Out of my way! Step aside, filth! Iroh: He means no offense! I'm certain you bathe regularly... XXXXXX Jeong Jeong: What are you doing here? I did not tell you to stop. Aang: I've been breathing for hours! Jeong Jeong: You want to stop breathing? XXXXXXXXX Sokka: Zuko stop moving! I'm trying to capture the moment! I wanted to do a painting so we always remember the good times together. Katara: That's very thoughtful of you, Sokka. (sees the painting)Wait! Why did you give me Momo's ears? Sokka: Those are your hair loopies! Zuko: At least you don't look like a boar-q-pine! My hair is not that spiky! Mai: I look like a man. Suki: And why did you paint me Firebending? Sokka: I thought it would look more exciting that way. (Momo makes a sound) Sokka: Oh, you think you can do a better job, Momo? Iroh: Hey, my belly is not that big anymore. I really trimmed down. Toph: Well, I think you all look perfect! (They all laugh) xxxxxxxx The Boulder: The Boulder feels conflicted about fighting a young blind girl. Toph: Sounds to me like you're scared, Boulder! The Boulder: ...The Boulder is over his conflicted feelings and now he's ready to bury you in a rockalanche! Toph: Whenever you're ready, the Pebble! (laughs evil-like) xxxxxxx Sokka: Go Aang! Avenge the Boulder! Toph: Do people really want to see two little girls fighting out here? Crowd:ooh... Aang: I don't really want to fight you. I want to talk to you. Sokka: Boo! No talking! Katara: Don't boo at him! (slaps Sokka) xxxxxxx Zuko: So uncle, I’ve been thinking. It’s only a matter of time before I run into Azula again. I’m going to need to know more advanced firebending if I want to stand a chance against her. I know what you’re gonna say, she’s my sister and I should be trying to get along with her-- Iroh: No, she’s crazy and she needs to go down. xxxxxxx Wan Shi Tong: (to Katara; preparing to fight him as she is being chased) Your waterbending won't do much good here. I've studied Northern Water Style, Southern Water Style, even Foggy Swamp Style. (Sokka smashes a book against Wan Shi Tong's head, causing him to collapse) Sokka: That's called Sokka style. Learn it! xxxxxxxx Sokka: I think my head is starting to clear out the cactus juice... And look! (grabs gooey yellow substance stuck to the cave wall and licks it)Pfft! Pfft! Ughahahah! Tastes like rotten penguin meat. Ah, I feel woozy. Katara: You've been hallucinating on cactus juice all day, and then you just lick something you find stuck to the wall of a cave?! Sokka: I have a natural curiosity xxxxxxxxxx Toph: (thinking that Suki is Sokka) Oh, Sokka! You saved me! (kisses Suki on the cheek) Suki: Actually, it's me. Toph: Oh... well, heh heh. You can go ahead and let me drown now. xxxxxxxxxxxxx Sokka: That settles it! No more school for you, young man! (strokes his beard) Aang: I'm not ready to leave yet. I'm having fun for once, just being a normal kid. You don't know what it's like, Sokka. You get to be normal all the time. Toph: Ha ha. (Sokka narrows his eyes at Toph) Aang: Listen guys, those kids at school are the future of the Fire Nation. If we want to change this place for the better, we need to show them a little taste of freedom. Sokka: What could you possibly do for a country of depraved little fire monsters? Aang: I'm gonna throw them,(starts dancing) a secret dance party! (everybody stares at Aang) Sokka: (In Wang Fire voice) Go to your room! xxxxxx Katara: We're safe Sokka, you can take off the mustache now. Sokka: Oh, no I can't. It's permanently glued to my skin. xxxx Azula: Yes! We defeated you for all time. You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation! (beat) Well, That was fun. xxxxxxxx Azula: That's a sharp outfit, Chan. Careful, you could puncture the hull of an Imperial-class Fire Nation battle ship, leaving thousands to drown at sea. (notices that he didn't get the joke) Because... it's so sharp. Chan: Ummm... Thaaanks. -The Beach xxxxx Suki: Oops, wrong tent. Zuko: Sorry, do you need to talk to Sokka too? Suki: Nope, not me. (walks away)(Zuko enters Sokka's tent, who has a rose in his mouth, obviously waiting for Suki) Sokka Well hello... (Realizes it's Zuko) err Zuko, yes, why would I be expecting anyone different? (swallows the rose)So, what's on your mind? Zuko: Your sister, she hates me. And I don't know why, but I do care what she thinks of me. Sokka: Nah, she doesn't hate you, Katara doesn't hate anybody; except maybe some people in the Fire Nation. (realizes his mistake) Nope, I mean not people who are good but used to be bad, I mean Fire Nation people who are still bad, who have never been good and will probably never ever be- Zuko: Stop! xxxxxxx [Everyone jumps into a tunnel Toph has made] xxxxxxx Uncle Iroh: yuch! This tea is nothing more than hot leaf juice! xxxxxxx Katara: Sokka, let me see what you got from the library Sokka: What? I didn't steal anything. Who told you? Sokka: [Points to Momo] It was YOU wasn't it? You ratted me out! Katara: Sokka... I was there. xxxxxxxx Katara: Hey, Aang. You ready to be cheered up? Aang: No. [Katara throws an acorn at his head] Sokka: [snickers] Cheered me up! [Katara throws another acorn at Sokka] xxxxxxxx Prince Zuko: If the Earth Kingdom discovers us, they'll have us killed. Uncle Iroh: But if the Fire Nation discovers us, we'll be turned over to Azula. Prince Zuko: Earth Kingdom it is. xxxxxxxx Sokka: Toph, when I was in town, I found something that you're not gonna like. [holds up a wanted poster] Toph: Well it sounds like a sheet of paper, but I guess you're referring to what's on the sheet of paper. Sokka: It's a wanted poster of you. They've nicknamed you 'The Runaway'. Toph: A wanted poster, that's so great! The Runaway.I love my new nickname. Is there a picture of me? Does it look good? Sokka: [compares the wanted poster, which has an evil looking version of Toph] Well yeah actually, it does look pretty good. xxxxxxxx Katara: What's this? [holding up wanted poster of Toph] Toph: I don't know! I mean seriously, what's with you people? I'm blind! xxxxxxxx Sokka: I'm not one to complain, but can't Appa fly any higher? Aang: I’ve got an idea, why don’t we all get on your back and you can fly us to the North Pole? Sokka: (sarcastically) I’d love to! Climb on everyone, Sokka’s ready for takeoff. (Momo jumps onto Sokka’s back) xxxxxxxxxx Aang: Don't drink that! Toph: [spits out water] Why?! Is it poisoned? Aang: In my dream, we were right in the middle of the invasion, and you had to stop to use the bathroom! We died because of your tiny bladder! xxxxxxxxx Toph: You're gonna need to learn to draw your Firebending from a different source. I recommend the original source. Sokka: How's he supposed to do that? By jumping into a volcano? Toph: No. Zuko needs to go back to whatever the original source of Firebending is. Sokka: So...is it jumping into a volcano? xxxxxxxx (someone knocks the food out of his hands) xxxxxxx (After Aang gets an idea for what the statues may mean, he runs to Zuko and grabs his arm) Aang: Zuko! Get over here! I want you to dance with me. Zuko: What?! Aang: Just do it. xxxxxxxx Katara: Sokka, you're a genius! zzzzzzzz Sokka: Fine, you caught me. I'm gonna rescue my Dad. Ya happy now? Zuko: I'm never happy. xxxxxxxx Little Kid: Your Zuko costume's pretty good, but your scar's on the wrong side. Zuko: The scar's not on the wrong side! xxxxxxxxxx Sokka: Good work Toph. Time to take control of the ship. Take the wheel. Toph: That's a great idea. Let the blind girl steer the giant airship. Sokka: I was talking to Suki. Toph: That would make a lot more sense. ~Things to do when you're in Walmart!~ 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares..." and see what happens. 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay by. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME, PICK ME!" 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!" 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!" 16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one. 17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price. 18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs. 19. Start a fish-stick fight. 20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruff shampoo you recommended. 21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!" 22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf. 23. Run up to an employee of the opposite gender and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that boy/girl over there" -point to a random person- "was just about to ask you to dinner." 24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store. 25. Whisper "I know your little secret" to people in the checkout lines. 26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section. 27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..." 28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". 29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught. 30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket. 31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs. 32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts. 33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back. 34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section. 35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid. Ways to annoy people at the cinema: Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!" Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses. Clap when the good guy gets killed. During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?" Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!" Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes. Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one. Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes. Pass by a room that's showing a movie you've already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the end. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding. Yell out what is going to happen. Wear a cape and when it's your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away. Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is. Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row. Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are. Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling. Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel. Sit in the front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming. Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...) Bring a beach ball. Toss it around. Try to start a wave. Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first. Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window. Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!" Sing with the theme music. Bring and use your own air freshener. At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies." Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off. Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes. Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show. Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!" Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie. Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen. Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late. When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!" Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is. Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?" Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie. Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen. Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat" Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head. Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats. Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself. Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle. Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room. Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn. Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!" Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!" Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!" Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can hear it, like when the killer's name is going to be said. Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones. 60 Things to do on an Elevator! 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 5. Sell Girl Scout cookies. 6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator. 7. Shave. 8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?" 9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down. 10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!" 13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 14. One word: Flatulence! 15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom. 16. Do Tai Chi exercises. 17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!" 18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!" 19. Give religious tracts to each passenger. 20. Meow occasionally. 21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose. 22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!" 23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected. 24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons. 25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends. 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!" 29. Leave a box between the doors. 30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. 31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it. 32. Start a sing-along. 33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?" 34. Play the harmonica. 35. Shadow box. 36. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 37. Lean against the button panel. 38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space." 41. Bring a chair along. 42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?" 43. Blow spit bubbles. 44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings. 45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body." 46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively. 47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers. 49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger." 50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!" 51. Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone's shoes. 52. Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!" 53. Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament. 54. Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy. 55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good part. 56. Make chalk drawings on the walls. 57. As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said down,!" 58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on. 59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going. 60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. Friends FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella. BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN GIRL RUN!' FRIENDS:Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS:Will confort you when the guy rejects you. BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him and say 'its becuase your gay isn't it?' FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter. 15 stupid things 1. You're acually reading this "Little Bunny Foo FooHopping through the forest If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! Girls Just because you are all inspired by my stories don't expect me to go create a deviant art and go draw a marvelous picture of whatever cuz i can't draw for crap. Don't ask me to open a combination lock cuz i don't know how. So if your life savings is in a safe and you forget the lock you better start all over. KID:My teacher says true beauty is on the inside. DAD: That's just what ugly people say. WHY ELBOWS RULE(got this from sparknotes) Here we go! 1. “Elbows” is also a verb. Any word that can be a noun OR a verb is automatically amazing. 2. It’s common knowledge that elbows were the cause of the fourth world war. The Brazilians and the Swiss believed that no one should have elbows, and proceeded to remove them from every citizen, which led the French, Ethiopian, and Chinese governments to go to war against them. Since these countries were the ruling powers of the world at that time…wait. Did I say fourth world war? But how could I possibly know that! I meant….um…. the little known…Elbow war of…1862. Yes, that! Ignore the DeLorean in the corner, please. 3. When you’re sitting there in class and your teacher asks for a volunteer, and you want to get credit for semi-volunteering without actually having to do anything, you can use the ever-impressive half-arm raise. If you didn’t have elbows, it’d be all or nothing! 4. My sister uses her elbows to MOVE. Like they're feet or something! Let me tell ya, it’s impressive. And creepy. 5. When you have an itch, bending your elbow is typically necessary to scratch it. If you didn’t have elbows, you could only scratch your legs. And legs don’t itch! 6. Your cat doesn’t have elbows. And that is the only reason cats don’t rule the world right now. 7. When talking isn’t allowed or possible, your primary form of communication is your elbow! A cute boy walks by? You elbow your best friend! Your brother won’t shut up about his tropical toe fungus while there are guests over for dinner? Elbow him! It’s simple. 8. Elbows can be used to defend yourself. Imagine your sister steals your favorite eyeliner and refuses to return it. You can simply use your elbow to pin her down while employing your hand to grab that eyeliner back! 9. Public elbow licking is the only way to tell humans from the flexible aliens who have morphed into human form and are living among us. 10. Elbows are the primary focus in lotion commercials. If it weren’t for elbows, then lotion companies wouldn’t have anywhere obvious to demonstrate their product, so they’d stop advertising, and people would stop buying lotion, and soon the entire population would be overrun by people with dry skin! Irritable people with TERRIBLY DRY SKIN! It's too terrible to think about. 11. If you play any sort of sport, elbows are 100% necessary. You know why. 12. While elbows are useful for bending, they also have other uses. If your forearm gets crushed by a hoard of Twilight fans, necessitating amputation, the doctors can just attach your hand to your elbow. You get to be awesome AND to freak people out! 13. You can use your elbows to measure things. The length from your elbow to the tip of your middle finger was once a common way to measure stuff! I have no idea why or how long it's supposed to be, but just trust me here. 14. If we didn’t have elbows, everyone would be reduced to zombie dancing. Also, people would do a lot of terrible renditions of the grocery cart dance. Disaster! 15. Elbows are essential if you want to hug anyone!!! I dare you to give a good straight armed hug. People are more likely to ask why you hate them than to hug you back. 16. Dante Basco has elbows. And that, my dear FF-ers, is all the convincing you need. 1. Elbows contain funny bones, the least accurately named body part of all time. It REALLY HURTS when you bang your elbow! Although this pain has been attributed to “nerve endings,” I’m going to say that is just propaganda and lies from Big Elbow, the pro-elbow political group. 2. It’s considered rude to have your elbows on the table. If that’s the case, then answer me this: why are elbows designed to only be truly comfortable when propped on a table? 3. When turning tight corners, your elbows often get scraped. They are the rear-view mirrors of the body, yet they don’t help you see what’s behind you! 4. My elbows always look like they belong either to a person who’s 50 years older than me or to a very young elephant. I’m not sure which is worse. 5. When you scar your elbows (which happens regularly, see #4), they don’t scar like normal skin does. No, they go all pink and wobbly, making it look like you’ve got chewing gum stuck to your arm. 6. Your elbow is too lazy to find its own identity. Your knee has a whole separate bone to define its personality (the patella, or knee cap), but your elbow mooches off your ulna, radius, and humerus just to exist! 7. When you go to put your elbow on the table, the only place where it feels at home, you can easily plop it into a dish of butter by accident. 8. Elbows aren’t accounted for in stick-figure drawings, which basically means that they’re not strictly necessary to the human form. 9. Elbow rhymes with “Hell, no!” This negative connotation makes me hate elbows more every day. 10. Elbows make holes in your long-sleeved shirts. And that’s just mean. 11. If you get “elbowed” by someone, it’s both painful and offensive. Elbows are a destructive force that can be harnessed by all humans, even the most hardened of human criminals! 12. While you can smack your hands against a hard surface to keep an awesomepants beat, you cannot do the same thing with your elbows (see #1/2/7). 13. You know the robot, that dance that everybody can do but me? If it weren’t for elbows, I wouldn’t have to bear the shame of not being able to robot! Also, if we didn’t have elbows, then everybody would be reduced to zombie dancing. Which would be incredible. 14. If elbows didn’t exist, neither would the bridge position stretch. Which would be great, because I find that almost as difficult as robot dancing. 15. You can’t lick your elbow. Although this in itself isn’t that bad, people seem to think it’s a hilarious fun fact. One that I KNOW already, so will you please just STOP TELLING ME I CAN’T LICK MY ELBOW. 16. A very small number of people actually can lick their elbow. Either all of us should be able to do it, or none of us. Otherwise the great elbow divide will create tensions that will surely lead to segregation over time. Elbows promote segregation!! Now you chose, Pro-Elbow or NO-Elbow?!. I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most kids wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on FaceBook, or talking to a friend on a cell phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year.BUT, I am the girl that hasstopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. I am the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and laughing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Avatar:the last airbender, who can express herself better with actions than words, who doesn't necessarily need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. THAT is me. Hey, what the heck, I'm a christian so pleeeeeeaaaseee no swearing or taking the Lord's name in vain, or lemons okay? You're STILL a Zutarian Because... Because, even if you try to hide it, Kataangers tick you off. And it's not even because your ship clashes with theirs or because their ship is canon now, but it's because Kataangers themselves tick you off. They go on pages ONLY FOR ZUTARA and start RANT RANT RANTING ABOUT BLAH BLAH BLAH THEIR SHIP IS BETTER BLAH BLAH BLAH STOP BEING DELUSIONAL BLAH BLAH ZUTARIANS SUCK. It ticks you off how IMMATURE they seem to be and you want to tell them to GROW UP AND STOP ACTING LIKE RETARDED SEVENTH GRADERS. I'M ENTITLED TO MY OWN VIEWS AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT...I DON'T CARE!! Because you've realized that even if you respect a Kataanger and their views, the moment you say you ship Zutara they start RANT RANT RANTING ABOUT BLAH BLAH BLAH CAPSLOCK!*COMPUTER ANGER* RANT RANT RANTING and you're like seriously, what the heck? why does everyone hate my ship so much? And that's when you realize the reason Kataangers are still so ticky is because even though their ship is CANON, your ship, UNCANON as ever, is still MORE POPULAR than theirs. You have better fan fiction, better fan art and your ship is overall discussed more than theirs will EVER BE. Because you know some Kataanger is reading this and getting ticked off at the author for being inaccurate. Yeah right, please, go search Zutara ANYWHERE and you'll get more hits than Kataang (see: google, yahoo, dogpile, ask, deviantArt) Because Toph ships Zutara. Period. And when was she ever wrong? Hm? That's right...TOPH IS NEVER WRONG. And she's awesome ("I'm not Toph! I'm the MELON LORD!") Only she can say that and not look insane. Because you know Azula was such a Kataanger in the finale. C'mon people she KNOWS her brother and she knew that if she shot lightning at the water tribe peasant he would JUMP IN FRONT OF HER and forget about protecting himself. It was a sure fire plan and she IS a prodigy...though she kinda lost her marbles toward the end. She wanted to eliminate Zutara. Because Jun ships Zutara. Period. She rides a ant eater that sees with smell! She KNOWS things that other people don't know. She told him TWICE that Katara was his girlfriend. ("So this is your girlfriend. No wonder she left. She's way too pretty for you.") And that's when Jun became Zutara's best friend. And then again during the finale, ("So you finally patched things up with your girlfriend.") Insert blushes here. Because people who ship Zutara in the show (Iroh, Toph, Jun) can beat butt in their world. Don't cross them. Don't even MENTION Kataang. Because...seriously, ninjas. Kataang may have their little stolen kisses (twitch) and Maiko may have their emo love (twitch) but Zutara has ninjas...and steam babies. (Listen even if you don't like steam babies, they're awesome so shut up.) Because even if you DON'T HATE Mai you were still kinda ticked when she announced to the whole world that she loved Zuko more than she feared Azula. You were seriously about to bring out the duck tape and shut her up. Because On-Ji&Aang is awesome. Period. Because you kinda wish Jet was still alive because even though Jetara is not as good as Zutara it's the second best. And Katara loves the bad boys. Because you know that when Katara is done playing footsie with the kid she's gonna need a real man, a HOT BLOODED man. Because you kinda knew from day one Kataang was gonna happen but you kept the faith. I mean look at the facts: Avatar is a show on NICK, NICK is a kiddie network and Avatar is by far the most adult show ever aired there. But it's still a kiddie network and Aang was not going to MASTER ALL THE ELEMENTS (original goal) WIN THE WAR (another original goal) and NOT get his dream girl. That sends a very bad message to the kiddies that still believe in happily ever after. You don't want the kiddies to suffer the pains of the REAL WORLD do you? Because you think a lot of people during the finale were hitting the cactus juice a little too strongly. It's the only excuse that fits... Because it makes a wayyy better story (fire:water, prince:peasant) Because if you wrote the show they would have gotten together TWO SEASONS AGO AT THE NORTH POLE. (Maybe even BEFORE that...) Because...he'll save her from the pirates and he SAVED HER from Azula. Because the scar on his face SAVED HIS life, well after it kinda ruined it of course...it was his destiny to get that scar, and the scar on his body SAVED HER life. Because you know that the Ember Island Players was a low blow by the production team. ("Great, ANOTHER fan with ideas!") But it still doesn't bother you because Zuko shoved Aang to the side to sit next to Katara. (You still kinda laugh at that) Because no matter how much your Kataang friends try to convert you, you still believe in Zutara and its awesomeness. In your head, Katara always cheats on Aang with Zuko. ALWAYS. Because you know that the end pairings won't last forever because they're 12, 14, 15, and 16. It's just puppy love. And the creators PUT THEM TOGETHER, they never said anything about them STAYING TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES. Because you know love can't be forced and it might take years for Katara and Zuko to realize how much they mean to each other. Because you know why the world has gone to crap. People get set off on the littlest things and start RANT RANT RANT BLAH BLAH BLAH like they have Ants in their pant pockets. No one knows the meaning of the words "for fun" anymore and everyone is so serious. Because you could watch the entire series twice in a row and you STILL WON'T KNOW WHERE KATARA FELL FOR AANG. (I don't even know that and I've been watching from day one! That kinda came out of nowhere because she DID treat him like a son and a younger brother for most of the series. And all those awkward kisses...ewww) Because, no matter how much Kataangers try to tell you Zutara never had a chance because Katara THREATENED Sifu Hotman you just wanna say "LISTEN! THERE'S SOMETHING CALLED A MOTHERLY INSTINCT. ALL ANIMALS HAVE IT. IF YOU GO NEAR A MOTHER CROCODILE'S NEST AND TOUCH SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO SHE WILL COMMENCE TO TRY TO CHOP YOUR ARMS OFF! ASK ANY MOTHER AND SHE WILL TELL YOU, more of less, THE SAME THING. Because the finale doesn't change AT ALL how you feel. You can write and read fan fiction as if NOTHING has changed. Because even though they didn't give us Zutara love, they gave us Zutara deep friendship and you gotta start somewhere... Because Mai is bland and kinda boring. No offense Maiko fans but she is kinda...bleh. Zuko needs someone with a fire. Because you watch the show Avatar like it's poetry and look beneath the surface of things. Because if Avatar was REAL anime (which it's not) Zutara would have happened...a lot... Because you kinda wonder where that guru that told Aang to let go of Katara went. Because you know if the show had a HIGHER RATING and was aired SOMEWHERE ELSE AT A TIME WHERE THE KIDDIES WEREN'T SUPPOSE TO BE WATCHING, it would be COMPLETE Zutara from start to finish. Because to you, Momo is more interesting to watch than Maiko. No offense but it's true for you Zutarians. Because you're tired that the moment you express your views people tell you you give Zutarians a bad name. Because you love freedom of speech and if other shippers don't like what you say well then they can just shove it because you're not going to stop talking anytime soon. Because Iroh ships Zutara. Period. Because no other ship appeals to the imagination quite like Zutara. Because there could STILL BE a POLITICAL MARRIAGE if the nations still don't trust each other and Aang and Mai wouldn't want to be the cause of another war...would they? Because you wonder how Aang's death policy would change if he knew that Zuko successfully seduced Katara. Because Appa is such a Zutarian. Period. Because, despite the shipping wars and the crazy fangirls, at the end of the day...Avatar: The Last Airbender was an excellent show (if not the best show on Nick) and had a good run. Ships aren't important as the show itself and some people refuse to accept that. Because, watching a 112 year old guy who STILL hasn't hit puberty making out with a 14 year old girl disturbs you. Because ,in your mind the only reason aang even likes katara because she's is pretty and you know if you only like someone because of the appearence you'll never really fall in love Because, On Ember Island your true self is revealed. And waht happened there, Katara is not interested in Aang and, on stage you see Katara and Zuko getting it on. Girls Don't realize these things; I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' YOUR GUY SIDE: -You love hoodies. Total=15 YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/chapstick. Total=18 Names 1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle) Lunizzle 2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (color and animal) Orange wolf/fox/pretzel/unicorn 3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name) Annie ButterBall (It's an actuall street, look it up) 4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name) Andluiot 5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd color, drink) Rassberry Tea 6. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name) Udiaole 7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name) Charlotte 8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets) Black Lampshade (It was a fish i had that died) 9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fruit, and something that can go wrong) Pineapple Life/ Mango Pants 10. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (3rd color, pirate accessory) Ocean Sword When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind. When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around. When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all. When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying. When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever. When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered. When a girl says "I love you." she means it. When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that. Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person. If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you. Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere. So get ready for the biggest shock of your life. Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; Customer: ‘Wow! How can you see my screen from there?’Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?' This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department... Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?' Spread the Stupidity Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. In Honor of Stupid People: In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap," On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: On a Korean kitchen knife: On some brand of bacon bits -- "fake artificial bacon bits" For GOD so loved the world that he gave his one begotten son and whoever believes in him shall not parish but have eternal life. ~John 3:16 | |||||||
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