Hello, everyone!!

you are now viewing my random and incredibly long profile, enjoy!

My age...older than some...younger than others.
Gender - Female

I live in Tasmania/Australia.

Likes- well where do I start! I love swimming, writing, drawing, horse riding, chocolate, mum's cooking, sleeping, playing piano and reading manga and fan-fiction as well as a lot of other stuff!!
Dislikes- I hate, and i mean HATE! leeches. I also don't like being woken up in the morning.

About me,
most people see me as being quiet and hardworking, what they don't know is that under all of that is a weird, unpredictable and random person that only very few people get to see, thats probably a good thing too. I live near the beach and love to lie in bed listening to the waves crashing on the shore, although just don't wake me up in the mornings, as a rampage will surely follow. I love alot of things and people in life, and believe that things would go alot smoother if everyone could accept each other for who they are instead of discriminating and judging others. Music is my life, so are books and everything they hold. I love to express my self in the form of writing.

Manga and Anime - One Piece, Naruto, Bleach, Death Note, D.Grey Man, Soul Eater, Black Butler, Blue Exorcist and Bloody Kiss.
Favourite Manga/Anime- One Piece, Naruto and Black Butler.

Favourite bands/singers - Two Steps From Hell, Three Days Grace, Breaking Benjamin, Red, Skillet, Snow Patrol Muse and Pluss 44,

Favourite Movies - The Incedibles, The Fast and the Furious movies, Angus Thongs and Perfect Snogging, The Pacifier, All the Die Hards, Marlie and Me, Lord of the Rings trilogy, Inglourious Basterds and The Hobbit.

Favourite Books - The Belgariad and Malloreon, A Song of Ice and Fire, The Keys To The Kingdom, The Deltora Quest, Maximum Ride, Harry Potter, Twilight saga, Ink Heark and heaps more.

Naruto fav characters in order.

1. Itachi (i have alot of respect for him because of every thing he went through)

2. Minato (He's super strong and awesomely awesome, who wouldn't love him?)

3.Suigetsu (he's really funny, plus he's really cute. all in all, i just think he is awsome).

4. Gaara (he's just plain awsome and hot, even when he had the demon in him)

5.Deidara (don't ask me why, i just think he's funny and awsome)

the rest is one big jumble, i have heaps of fav charaters. but the ones i hate the most are;

no. 1 hate - Danzo

no. 2 hate - Obito

no. 3 hate - Orochimaru

One piece fav characters are one big jumble.

Death Note favs are;

1. L (you all know why!!)

2. Near (he's so cute!)

3. Mello (he is really awsome)

4. Matt (i loved matt, i was so sad when he died, even though he wasn't a main character)

5. BB (man, is he cool or what?)

6. Misa (She's so funny, she always makes me laugh)

7. Ryuk (he killed Light, yes, go ryuk!! plus he's just plain awsome)

the others i don't really care about. but i do have two people that i hate the most, those two are Light and Takada or whatever her name is. grrr they both make me so angry.

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England) oOBlueBumbleBeesOo (Australia)

You Say Pink
I Say Blue
You say Twlilight
I say Naruto
You say Edward Cullen
I say Itachi Uchiha
You Say Miley Cyrus
I Say Three Days Grace
You say Kittens and Puppies
I say Dragons
You say i'm weird
I say Yep and loving it

These are so cool!! READ THEM!!
Did you know...

It takes about 550 peanuts to make just one jar of peanut butter.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tounge.

It is physically impossible for a pig to look up at the sky.

Of all the senses, smell is the one that is most closely linked to the brain.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

An Ostrich's eye is larger than it's brain.

like finger prints, tounges have their own unique print.

Around 10 of the worlds population is left handed.

Each year insects eat one third of the worlds food crops.

Because of the rotation of the earth, an object can be thrown further if it's thrown west.

In the course of a life time you will eat 70 assorted insects and spiders while sleeping.

Human thigh bones are as strong as concrete.

No two spider webs are ever the same.

The human eye sees everything upside down, the brain turns it up the right way.

A snail can sleep for 3 years.

The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.

It's impossible to lick your elbow.
( i know you all just tried to lick your elbow, don't worry, i did it too when i first read it. :p)

Quotes/jokes

Blonde LOGIC

Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench talking...
And one blonde says to the other, "Which do
You think is farther away... Melbourne or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can
You see Melbourne ...??"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
Mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She
Says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then
Today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
"How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
Shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said
that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even
more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she
pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched
made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken"

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were
the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said
The Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
going at night!"

IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your
name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two
new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde
responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one
was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like
that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO...," answered the blonde.
"They're watch dogs!"

Murphy's laws

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like, well . night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those that wait, may be the things left by those, who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14 . The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Things you would love to say at work

How about never? is never good for you?

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public

Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

It sounds like english but i can't understand a word you're saying.

I like you, you remind me of myself when i was young and stupid.

I'm already visualizing duck tape over your mouth.

I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?

Don't let your mind wander, it's too small to be let out on its own.

Do you hear that, it's the sound of nobody caring.

If i throw a stick will you leave?

Chaos, panic and disorder, my work here is done.

Wait a minute - i'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Did you eat another bowl of stupid this morning?

Have a nice day, somewhere else.

You're not yourself today, i noticed the improvement straight away.

You are as pretty as a picture, i'd really like to hang you.

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15..Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18.. Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20..A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22..Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26..Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27..The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28..The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29..I smile because I don't know what on earth is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few!

Whoever said nothing is imposible hasn't tried slaming a revolving door.

If you don't like my driving then get off the side walk.

Q.what do you call a person who keeps on talking when no one is interested?
A. a teacher

"Sir, we are surrounded!" "Excellent! Now we can attack in any direction."

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

I should keep my words soft and sweet in case I have to eat them

Everbody makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on the end of pencils

All kids are gifted; some just open their packages earlier than others.

Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

Someday your prince charming will come; mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions

I dreamed i loved you...i woke up screaming

Adults are just kids with money

Always remember- when a guy sweeps you off you're feet, he is in the perfect position to drop you on your ass.

A wise man once said, "I don't know - go ask a woman."

All stressed out and no one to choke.

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

I'm not cynical, everything just sucks.

I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

It's not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots.

The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’re good.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

If I had any dignity that would have been humiliating.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Heh. I'm looking forward to regretting this

I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.

Isn't it interesting how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

All the good men are taken, gay, or fictional characters. - that is so true

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and doesn't stop until you stand up to speak in public.

F.E.A.R.
Fuck Everything And Run

Anyone can make a mistake, but to really mess things up requires a computer.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

That's life, well your life anyway

Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Ever notice how DYING is at the end of STUDYING?

I get plenty of exercise: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

If everyone jumped off a bridge would you too? No, I would step onto a pile of bodies.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?!

Stop being so stupid.. it’s my turn.

Flying is easy. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss

The greatest feats are accomplished by people who are too stupid to know that they're impossible

You know it's gonna be a bad day when you jump out of bed, and miss the floor

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100 percent? What does it mean to give MORE than 100 percent? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? What makes up 100 percent in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8118423151811 = 98 percent
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11141523125475 = 96 percent
but
A-T-T-I -T-U-D-E
120209202145 = 100 percent
and,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2211212198920 = 103 percent
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1191911919199147 = 118 percent

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, its really the BULLSHIT and the ASSKISSING that will put you over the top.

Life, is like God's way of kicking your sorry ass out of heaven and yelling, "AND DON'T COME BACK!!"
Death, is like God's way of dragging you back up to heaven by your collar, mumbling, "Okay, I think you've done enough damage..."

Have you every noticed that if you rearrange the letters in mother-in-law, it will come out as 'Woman Hitler'?

I'm NOT a stalker... I simply admire from afar... From behind a sign... .

Normality will be restored as soon as we figure out what it is.

Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.

If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window I will laugh.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?

Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... Is he still wrong?

'I Love You' has 8 letters, but so does bullshit.

I swear to drunk I'm not God.

..I feel stupid, and contagious...

If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', then what's the opposite of 'progress'?

Fear the rage of the patient one

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Therapist = The/rapist... Scary thought

Life isn't passing me by; It's trying to run me over

Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I'd like to have a battle of wits with you but I don't fight people that are unarmed.

You know you're screwed when that shooting star starts getting bigger.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's hilarious.

Before you insult someone walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you do insult them you are a mile away and you have their shoes.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night”

I abide by one simple rule: Everyone else has brakes.

School is 12 years of failing before you fail at life

Be optimistic. :) The people you hate will eventually die.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Life is like a Pack of Gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Can I take your picture? I collect photos of Natural Disasters.

How important does a person have to be before a person is considered assassinated instead of murdered?

We're all pretty bizarre, some of us are just better at showing it.

If you can't beat them... Arrange to have them beaten...

Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I am proven horribly wrong

All sane people who worked here quit

I've been given sugar. Please use this time to prepare for the end of the world

What you call stupidity, I call selective understanding

"I don't have a license to kill ... I have a learners permit!"

"Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear."

"If you love someone, tell them. Because hearts are often broken with words left out."

"He handed her 11 red roses and one fake rose, he said ‘I will love you until the last rose dies."

"Of all the things I’ve lost… I miss my mind the most."

"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas."

"Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!"

"When in doubt, push random buttons!"

"When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic."

"He who laughs last didn't get it, and he who laughs first has the dirtiest mind."

"Most women say that men should have to suffer through periods like us; not me. If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons."

"Therapy pays off later; screaming obsentities and beating the shit out of people pays off now."

"Don't underestimate me, pal. See this smile? It's not really a smile. It's a destraction so I can punch you in the face."

"May God have mercy on my enemies, 'cause I sure as hell won't."

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

"I'm not small, I just live in a world of giant people."

"Smile. It makes people wonder what you're up to."

"Heaven doesn't want me, and Hell's afraid I'll take over."

"I'm not so good at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me."

"Slinky Escalator = Endless fun"

"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up."

-"When I die, I want to go peacefully, like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car

-I don't obsess! I think intensely.

-The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that.

-You say psycho like it's a bad thing!

-Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

"Badassery" is taking knives to a gun fight and winning.

Note to self: It is illegal to stab someone in the face for being stupid.

I didn't hit you, I simply high-fived your face.

Always go the extra mile. It's less crowded.

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

If electricity comes from electrons, where do you think morality comes from?

Education is important, school however, is another matter

You say i'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If i'm not cold, I'm hot. I know i'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Medicine heals the body. Music heals the soul. Hitting stupid people heals your sanity

Pulling out gum at school is like pulling out crack at a rehab center.

I didn't fall, i attacked the floor. Best excuse EVER!!

Dear Parents,

Jasmine was in a relationship with a dirty homeless boy named Aladdin.

Snow White lived alone with 7 men.

Pinnochio was a liar.

Robin Hood was a theif.

Tarzan walked around with almost no clothes on.

A stranger kissed Sleeping Beauty and she married him.

Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party.

You can't blame us. We've been taught to rebel since a young age.

37 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time" When someone walks in.

:.:7 Ways to Scare your roommates:.:
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!"
Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-Warrior Princess@companyname.com
or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for smuggling diamonds.'
10) Reply to everything someone says with,'That's what you think.'
11) Finish all your sentences with:'In accordance with the prophecy.'
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13) dont use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what sex they are and laugh hysterically after they answer.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go.'
17) Sing along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3.
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23) Call 999 and ask if 999 is for emergencies.(don't do this!)
24) Call the physic hot line and don't say anything.
25) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, 'I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!'
27) When leaving the zoo,start running towards the parking lot, yelling, 'Run for your lives,they're loose!'
28) Tell your boss, 'It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do.'
29) Tell your children over dinner.'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
Say the words out loud.
1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum @#!*%
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone...,No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Copy and paste this in your profile if you think that some times we take things for granted

Put this on your
page if you love
Naruto!

ಠ_ಠ(-\) ART IS A BANG! UN
/_\Put this on your page if you love Deidara

If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.

Akatsuki icons!

Itachi /_\

Deidara o\/

Zetsu \o.o/

Tobi @

Sasori -.-

Kisame =0_o=

Hidan o.o

Kakuzu --_--

Copy and paste this to your profile to help them take over the world!!

There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.

MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!

They say it takes a minute to meet someone special, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and a lifetime to forget them

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Are you a big Naruto fan? Well below are some signs to show that you are addicted to Naruto:

· Call your semester examine a Chuunin exam

· Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan".

· Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline.

· Stick your hand in a electric box and scream "chidori" as you pass out

· Start to call your teachers Sennin.

· Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu.

· List Anbu as current occupation on a job application.

· Wake up in the middle of the night and scream "Itachi why?!".

· Eat all day and all night, and then try to roll into a ball and run someone down.

· When someone asks you what your dream is, say that its to be Hokage.

· Your hair is black and you wear red contacts.

· You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets.

· You get red contacts and claim you are from the Uchiha bloodline.

· When you do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possesion Jutsu.

· You dye your hair white and spy on girls.

· You sharpen chop sticks and claim them to be senbons.

· You yell out "Wind ShurikenThrow of Death" when throwing a frisbee.

· You try to kill your brother every day.

· You constantly crack your knuckles and do hand signs without even thinking.

· You keep alcohol in your mouth then spit it out with a match by your mouth to create a fireball.

· You poke people in their butts and yell "A thousand years of pain!".

· In the middle of a sleepover, you blast a flashlight into your best friend's eyes and yell "Chidori!"

· You look in the mirror and think its your shadow clone.

· You call your teacher Iruka-sensei.

· You go to school with a forehead protector and claim it is the new trend from the Hidden Leaf Village.

· When you fight, you poke your opponent 64 times.

· Every time your class goes on a field trip, you call it a mission.

· You type in Konoha as your hometown on Internet forms.

· When your parents ask you why are your eyes so bloodshot, you tell them it's your Sharingan eye.

· Say "Itadakimasu" before you eat.

You make a leaf village forehead protector.

You actually take the time to learn the jutsu hand motions.

Every time you put your glasses on, you whisper, 'Sharingan!'.

You dye your hair pink to get the 'Naturally Sakura' look.

You want people to refer to you as 'The 6th Hokage'.

You keep butter knives in your pocket and call them kunais.

You drew the Uchiha clan symbol on the back of your new jean jacket.

You name your dog Akamaru.

You throw sand at people and etch the symbol for 'Love' in Japanese on the side of your forehead.

You ask the chicken you ate last night to lend you some chakra.

You let a rabid snake bite you, hoping to get the seal.

these are my ones that i thought of, and i do.

. if do any kind of martial art, you call it practicing your taijutsu.

. you have a dog that looks like akamaru and you try to teach him ninja moves.

. every time you start talking about naruto your parents get a blank look in their eyes, or they tell you to shut up.

. think going to school is going to ninja academy and your learning how to be a sinobi.

. at least one of your friends gets really annoyed/frustrated when you start talking about naruto.

. you compare your friends to naruto characters and see which one they resemble the most, and then laugh to yourself if they match up to a really wired character.

. when ever you see an explosion in a movie or on the news, you imedently blame deidara.

. sport at school is like nija training in the training grounds with your team mates.

. while walking through the bush you think its the forest of death and are constantly looking out for dangers and other 'teams'.

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance policy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnigan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not give you my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not nessecary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class skyclad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck (This is from the Harry Potter 20Q electronic game)

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is an evil incarnate.

51) I will not refer to Gryfindor's sword as 'The Master Sword' and will not use it to reinact scenes from The Legend of Zelda games

52) I will not use Dave Barry Slept Here as my History of Magic textbook

Ones that i thought of

mrs. Noris is not to be dressed up in babies clothes.

i'm not alound to put snakes in snape's office to make him feel more at home, same goes for the slytherin common room.

miniture dragons are not to be used as owls.

i'm not allowed to bring my big black shaggy dog to school and call him 'the grim'.

i'm not allowed to dress as a dementer and float along the corridoors saying in a raspy voice "Where is harry potter."

Filch's office is not to be broken into in the middle of the night and be re-decorated to look like Ms. umbridges office.

in transfiguration i'm not allowed to 'accidentaly' point my wand at the person in front of me.

super glue was banned at hogwarts because of me. (use your imagination)

real life lions are not to be tamed and brought into the school for the Gryffindor mascot, same goes with all the other houses and their animals.