HEYA PEEPS

TEAM JACOB ALL THE WAY!!

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:
When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and don’t let go
When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong
When she ignore's you, Give her your attention
When she pull's away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favourite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favourite movie with her or her favourite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

me: Do I ever cross your mind?

him: No

me: Do you like me?

him: No

me: Do you want me?

him: No

me: Would you cry if I left?

him: No

me: Would you live for me?

him: No

me: Would you do anything for me?

him: No

me: Choose--me or your life

him: My life

i run away in shock and pain and he runs after me and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!!

Things that I have learned from the Twilight series;

1. If you are a teenage girl, and you would prefer a really pale 107 year old man who looks seventeen and sparkles in the sunlight (which is kinda gay, dontcha think?) is really hard so he could hurt you or even kill you if you two..."got it on" and has the personality of a pair of socks to a hot, tall, tan indian who can fix motorcycles and build cars, but is still sweet and funny enough to be ur friend and hang out with you whenever you want and LOVES you, you obviously are a wack job and need to check into a mental institution RIGHT NOW! seriously, do it.

2 I would prefer a space heater to an air conditioner anyday

3 werewolves are better than vampires.

4. fictional boyfriends are perfectly healthy to have. if his name is jacob black xD

5. Dont go and freaking jump off a cliff or a vampire will try to kill himself and then u'll have to save him and forget about ur hot almost boyfriend back in ur town and marry the emo fag who tried to commit suicide.

6. it is NOT possible for a teenage guy to NOT want to have sex with his girlfriend unless he is either gay or secretly 107 years old and a vampire.

7. Sparkling is gay. Cereally, it is. If Edward's skin is the same all over then that means that EVERYWHERE glitters. Including his...area. If he were to ever go streaking in broad daylight. Which he probably wouldnt, but w/e people would see his glittery shlong. Or if him and bella were gonna get it on in their meadow, then he would have a glittery little problem if you know what i mean wink wink. If that does not strike you as odd or gay in anyway then you are obviously completely insane or refuse to believe that there is anything wrong with Edward Cullen just because hes "dreamyyyyy" or something. Which also calls for some men in white suits to come and take you away to a room with rubber walls.

8. Werewolves are smexy. C'mon you know its true. xD

9. When people loose someone they love they often refer their pain to a "big hole" in their chest. Psssh. No one gives a crap about your hole.

and finally...

10. BELLA FREAKING BITES HER LIP TOO MUCH! DUDE ITS NOT HEALTHY!! Maybe she wants to be a vampire so bad she wants to draw her own blood and taste it, idk! but she still is nerotic and totally and completely insane. Ferreal. But Jacob is awesome...xD

Screw prince charming, I'm waiting for my Jacob Black!!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died.

Treat each day as your last; one day you'll be right.

Follow your dreams. Except for that one where you're naked at work...

I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired.

All i ask for is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy!

They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.I

used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

Be a loser! Because being cool is so overrated!

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

My favorite word is sarcasm

It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.

I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else.

Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again

A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that.

I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

Why are the Force and duct tape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together!

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mom or dad, or my older brother Collin, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, but I think it's Colin.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why is it that some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes...but we love them anyways."

Never hire a colorblind electrician."

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

"Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug."

"I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib."

"Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it."

"After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

"The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future.

"Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore.

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

If you can't convince them, confuse them. (It works 99percent of the time! :-)

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it.

Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.

You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club

.You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.

The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

SARCASM is just another free service I offer.

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.

Boys are like skateboards; they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?

Dream big dreams, because little dreams have no magic.

Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one?

I apologize, do you want me to mean it too?

Forgiveness is the scent a rose leaves on the heel that crushes it.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"All those who have telekinesis, raise my hand."

'I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die'

'I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.'

'It is not enough to succeed; others must fail.'

'You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home.'

'Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.'

'If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window I will laugh.'

'Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?'

'What is this 'kindness' you speak of?'

'It’s all fun and games until someone gets a fork in the eye THEN IT'S EVEN FUNNIER!'

'Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking.'

'Define normal.'

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that.

"Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style.

So what I’ve got a smile on, but it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head.

Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

I love my computer, because my friends live in it.I

f you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticingCopying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

Be kind to a stranger, coz you'll never know; it just might be an angel, knocking at your door.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Well, sorry just doesn't cut it...scissors do.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.I

f everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

It doesn’t mater if you win or lose, but it matters if I win or lose.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Live dangerous…Run with scissors.

I’m so clever that sometimes, I don’t even know what I’m saying

Love is like snot. You keep picking at it until you get to it, then you wonder what to do with it.

There is always a light at the end of a tunnel; just pray it isn’t a train.

Practice makes perfect but nobody is perfect so whats the point of practicing?

It’s not cheating unless you get caught.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

Nobody goes there anymore because it’s too crowded.

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.Y

ou tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try.

If you’re not living life on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Time flies when you don’t know what you’re doing.

I’d rather be pissed off than be pissed on.

The worst time to have a heart attack is when you’re playing charades. No one will believe you.

Laughing stock: Cattle with a sense of humour.

It is no accident that ‘stressed’ spelled backward is ‘desserts’.

I’m not sleeping. I’m just looking at the insides of my eyelids. (Teachers do no fall for that one)

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper – long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong time.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favourite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favourite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you act completely, well, crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being (every cell in your body) to Twilight and fan fiction. Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favourite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you. Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school fieldtrip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours strait WHILE riding roller coasters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your friends, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it." Crazy is when you claim you can walk on water and then get your best friend to hold you by your waist in the air and you move your legs in a walking movement (It works!!). Crazy is when you claim to hear music through your nose and promptly hold an earphone to your nose and sing the song. Then your friends try it on their knee. (Gullible people..)If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done too

Thanks for reading my awesomley-long profile.