I'm ElephantsAndTeacups, but you can just call me Patience. Which isn't my real name, but I found it quite ironic since I am, erm, lacking of that particular quality. I'm a absolute dorky nutjob so don't be suprised if something I say makes you double-take. My brain is usually on a whole other wavelenth.

About me: As previously mentioned I am a dork. I am a proud dork. I love my friends and food and sleep and Fanfiction and YouTube and Tumblr and Twitter and life! Most days. I'm not an exercising person, I'm quite a lazy sod to be frank. I just sit inside and write and doodle and when I do go out people better worry. I'm a danger to everyone, although mainly myself.

Favourite Movies: Harry Potter Series (with an exception of HBP - It didn't live upto my expectations, and was disappointing to say the least), Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead, The Pursuit of Happiness, Men in Black, The Happening, Lovely Bones, Saw, Space Jam - got to love the Looney Tunes, Bruce Lee, ect, ect.

Recommended Books: Blood Ties by Sophie McKenzie, Bog Child by Siobhan Dowd, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, Avalon High by Meg Cabot - but not the movie though because Disney slaughtered it, Harry Potter by JK Rowling, obviously, How to Kill a Mockingbird, Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare - also A Midsummer Night's Dream. They're challenging with the language, but in an inquisitive manner. The House of Night series - they're actually rather good. Twilight. I joke, I joke. It's awful, really dreadful. I must admit, I enjoyed it when I first read it, but I was 11, I still enjoyed Jacqueline Wilson novels. In otherwords, I had an awful taste in books which has; thankfully, improved. I'm about to begin reading The DaVinci Code, my dad is lending me it. Message me with any good book suggestions.

Pet hates: People who talk during a movie, TV-Show, or Musical. Snakes. Spiders aren't a pet hate their more a mortal fear. I'm a severe anorachaphobic. Animal Documentaries - I used to enjoy them but my dad killed them for me. Backstabbers, and flamers. I mean come on, there is no need to flame. You can give constructive criticism, but you don't rip them to shreds. Bad grammar and spelling also annoy the pants off me.

Things that I love: My amazing friends. I love you all, you've proved that some friendships really can last a lifetime. My family, sometimes. School - I might hate it and curse it, but without it I would have a big whole in my life. Harry Potter and Starkid. Harry Potter helps me in my bad times, and AVPM, AVPS, B@MAN and Me and My Dick never fail to put a grin on my face. Also add in the objects of my fangirl desire. Robert Downey Jr, Martin Freeman, Tom Hiddleston, Jeremy Renner, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Evans, Darren Criss, Ian Somerhalder, Matt Smith, David Tennant, Arthur Darvill, Karen Gillian.. Wait, what.

Status: I'm a bad person, and I give you all permission to attack me with pitch forks. But before, consider this bribe - I will update atleast once a month on each story. I think that's a fair deal considering my laziness. And when I get a long weekend? You can have an update then too. And summer? An update every other week. Is it appealing to you, lovely reader? Well I'm glad to hear that. Now please put down the weapon or no updates for you, you silly goose.

Pick 10 of your favourite fellow witches and wizards:

1. Remus Lupin

2. Lily Evans

3. James Potter

4. Dobby

5. Neville Longbottom

6. Luna Lovegood

7. Severus Snape

8. Albus Dumbledore

9. Hermione Granger

10. Sirius Black

What would you say or do if...

Number 1 woke you up in the middle of the night?

'Okay Remus, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. You're a really sweet guy, and you're a prude, so I need not worry about you trying to coherse me into certain acts that make you blush to even think about. Awww, you're all red! Remus, you are too cute. Come here and give me a cuddle.' And then I would cuddle our favourite werewolf because he needs more cuddles in his life and I'm a very cuddly person.

Number 2 asked you to go out with them?

'Lily, what did Sirius do to you?'

Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you were showering?

Tell him in a calm voice that if he does not vacate the bathroom in the next five seconds then I will have him hung by his nether regions which will be removed and displayed in the Common Room as a reminder to all the naughty boys who dare walk in on girls in the shower. Then threaten to tell his mum.

Number 4 announced he was going to marry number 9 tommorow?

Well I'd wish Dobby and 'Mione the best of luck with marriage and procreation and such. I mean, I knew she was keen on house elves from her many lectures and speeches about S.P.E.W which I agreed with wholeheartedly, but I didn't know she was, you know, in to them.

Number 5 cooked you dinner?

It is Neville, so I'd half to make sure it was completley safe to eat before I ingested any of that, and we'd play exploding snap and be drinking buddies and have a dance party for two because I am awesome and Neville is awesome and we're forming a club for awesome people.

Number 6 was lying next to you on a beach, sleeping?

Make a sign that said 'WARNING: This beach is closed off due to Nargle infestation' and watch everyone wonder what a Nargle was while Luna runs as fast as her legs can take her, screaming her head off.

Number 7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family?

'Does this mean I have a legitimate reason to annoy you? Because we're family?'

Number 8 got into hospital somehow?

Get the Marauders to preform a silent film, Charlie Chaplin style in St Mungos. Every one likes silent films, right?

Number 9 made fun of your friends?

Hermione, you're best mates are also guys. One of which is bespecaled and the other is ginger. If they aren't the social rejects of society then I'm not sure who is.

Number 10 ignored you all the time?

Give him a nice, friendly snog. If that won't lighten him up, then I do not know Sirius like I think I do.

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will Number 1 do?

Go visit them on a full moon, that's what.

You're on a holiday with number 2 and manage to break your leg. What will they do?

Probably laugh at my clumsiness for a while until I reach for my wand. Then shed's probably fix it. I guess she'd have experience what with being a prefect and dating James Potter and what not.

It's your birthday. What will number 3 get you?

I don't know, but it would either be very cool or very awful. Maybe he'd let me be his stylist for the day!

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What will number 4 do?

Apparate in there and save my butt, and he'll probably end up dying all over again in the process - I will proceed to cry and beat myself up about it with any nearby objects that could possibly cause brain damage.

You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremley embarrased. What will 5 do?

Neville, god love him, would end up doing something even worse than me. He'd probably get jinxed and strip infront of the whole school.

You're about to marry number 10. What is number 6's reaction?

'Isn't Sirius dead?' 'No, actually. The veil didn't kill him, he actually got transported to the Year 3000 and hitched a ride back with Busted.'

You got dumped by someone. What will number 7 do to cheer you up?

Remind me how I'm a woman, I can hold a grudge forever, then he'd give me this awkward hug and then go back to sulking and reading.

You're angry about it afterwards, how does number 8 calm you down?

LEMON SHERBERTS. ALL OF THE LEMON SHERBERTS!

You compete in some tournament. How does number 9 support you?

Spend obsene amounts of time in the library looking up useful spells and tactics to help me survive and constantly reminding me that I can do it, and if I don't, she'll beat me senseless with Hogwarts: A History for ignoring everything she's saying.

You can't stop laughing. What will number 10 do?

Wonder why I'm acting like a lunatic, then do something really stupid and fall flat on his arse and make me laugh even harder!

Number 1 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?

It's almost like you can read my mind! I love Remus, he's my favourite Marauder, and he loves chocolate! He's like me, a seemingly quiet bookworm that has a mischevious side. He's not perfect and he has issues with accepting that people will love him unconditionally, no matter what. And to be honest, I like the idea of a challenge. Who needs some popular jerk, when you can have Remus Lupin?

Number 2 tells you about his deeply hidden love for number 9. Your reaction?

First me, now Hermione? Lily, your objects of affection are getting progressively more disturbing.

You're dating number 3 and introduce him to your parents. Will they get along?

I'm not actually quite sure. James is a trouble-maker, so they'll probably see him as a bad influence but I imagine him as a fairly charming and sweet person, so I've got faith that he could change their minds.

Number 4 loves number 9 as well. What does that mean?

Well seeing as their engaged I'm sure Hermione will stay true to Dobby and Lily will have to get over her weird obsessions.

Will number 5 and number 6 ever kiss?

I hope they do! They'd be an adorable couple! I always hoped they'd be together.

Number 6 appears to be a player, they break many hearts. What do you do?

I'd go for a walk in the Forest of Dean with her, and say 'Look Luna, I know you took some magic potion and now... You're sexy!* But really, you're leaving behind a trail of broken hearted boyos, so could you tone it down dear?'

You had a haircut and number 7 can't stop staring at you. What goes on in your mind?

He's obviously jealous that my hair isn't dripping in what resembles cooking oil. I wish he'd stop staring. It's mildly disturbing.

Number 8 thinks he'll never have a boyfriend. What will you tell her?

'Professor, I do believe Minerva would agree to a... -ehem- butterbeer between old friends. Go get 'em you tiger!'

Shrek Reference! *

The sorting hat says that I belong in Gryffindor!

Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those with brave deeds to their name."

Students of Gryffindor are typically brave, daring, and chivalrous.

Famous members include Harry Potter, Ron Weasley & Hermione Granger - The Golden Trio, The Marauders, Albus Dumbledore - Headmaster, and Minerva McGonagall - Head of Gryffindor.

Much Love,

Patience x