For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of all the characters in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you wirte Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of actually doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binder with doodles/love notes/ confessions of love/ any other Twilight realted thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you are at just by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out all the Twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you have a folder in your backpack full of pictures (drawn and computer generated) for the Twilight series, and have all the playlist songs on your iPod. Crazy is when you walk into a store, walk around in duckie robes that are sold there, and take pictures of you and your friends doing crazy things (wearing cat beds on you head or kissing garden statues of frogs) until closing time. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you see a movie (Bruce Almighty) and then try to walk on water. Crazy is when u yell at your bro through the phone, while texing him. :) Crazy is when you let your friend talking you in to skipping around with paper plate fairy wings on (thanks guys). Crazy is when you call everyone in the phone book that has the last name Cullen. Crazy is, if on a fieldtrip you sit there singing (very loudly so the whole bus can hear) to your mp3 player while writing your fanfiction story. Crazy is when you scream when you hear or see a Volvo, a guy named Edward, or anything else related to Twilight. Crazy is knowing exactly how tennis ball fit on a tennis racket when you pick up tennis balls after you drill. Crazy is when you are on a ski lift back up the mountain you make up names with your friends like lift=cherry picker long lines-the cherry picker is cream filled, when somebody falls down- Jif on Jelly, Somebody does a really cool trick- Peter Pan. If you're crazy, copy this into your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

Girl: Do i ever cross your mind?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose me or you life
Boy: My Life

The girl runs away in shock and pain, the boy runs after her and says...

" The reason you never cross my mind is because your always on my mind
The reason i don't like you is because i love you
The reason that i don't want you is because i need you
The reason i wouldn't cry if you left is because id die if you left
The reason i wouldn't live for you is because id die for you
The reason I'm not willing to do anything for you is because id do everything for you
The reason i choose life is because you are my life"

QUOTES:

We're not sarcastic-we're hilarious

We're not annoying-we're just cooler than you

We're not bitches-we just don't like you

We're not obsessed-we're just best friends

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

Your mom looks like Voldemort (ooooh burn)

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

When it's raining out, good friends share with you their umbrella. Best friends steal your umbrella and yell, "Run Mother fucker. RUN!"

Whoever said nothing is impossible had obviously never tried slamming a revolving door. Stupid spiny doors! --glares at the nearest revolving door.

Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a really long profile, C&P this to make it even longer. (hehehe)

When I laugh, I sound like my gay uncle.(HAHAHAHA that doesnt apply to me though i judt thought it was funny)

If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals but don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you you think Edward is freacken HOT copy + paste this into your profile

If you think Edward is perfect for Bella, paste this onto your profile

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

If two wrongs dont make a right, try three.

14 things to do in K-mart.

1.Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals

2.Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3.Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4.Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5.Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area

6.Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7.When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8.Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9.Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

10.Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

11.When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

12.Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

13.Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

14. Stage a conversation with your shadow then when you walk through a shady area, scream that your friend is missing

DON'T STEROTYPE PEOPLE!! Copy and paste to ur profile, and bold what U r!!

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG ASS.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST have seven wives.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border. (Anyone who asks someone if they have a green card, I'll smack u! That's just rude!!)
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay. I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I HANG OUT with teenage DRINKERS AND SMOKERS, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be a controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (and so what if I am?!)
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber- sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude. (Morals and dignity, poeple. I'm not saying that people who aren't virgins are bad, I'm just saying I follow MY morals.)
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive. (No, actually. I'm a little gullible, but not naive.)
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. (I know when to not say something, though I've had a few slip ups.)
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish.
I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress.
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kiss someone's ass.
I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant.
I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual.
I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict.
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian.
I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug-addicted hippie
I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs.
I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life.
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up.
I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch.
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention.
I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean.
I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all.(No! EWWW!! A lot are like my BROTHERS!!)
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare.
I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend.
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy.
I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head.
I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports.
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time.
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi.( we had to learn it in school)
I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. (Normal is overrated.)
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I'm an OVER 16 YEAR OLD TEEN MALE signed with DISNEY, so I MUST be a GAY, CHILDISH FAG.
I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay
I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life.(Looks could be deceiving I may be smiling outside but inside is dufferent...)
I'm a TEEN GIRL who likes to HAVE GOOD NATURED FUN with my FRIENDS, so I MUST be a WHORE, SLUT, and a LESBIAN. (Who never heard of girl time?)
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too.
I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist.
I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd. (READING ROCKS!)
I FROWN a lot, so I MUST be a nerd. (It hurts my face to smile too much!)
I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try.
I like the JONAS BROTHERS, so I MUST be a TEENIE BOPPER, OBSESSED FAN GIRL.
I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans.
I'm a HANNAH MONTANA FAN, so I MUST be childish and immature.
I'm POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet.(FYI... Haven't you heard of RESPECT!)
I'm a TEENAGER who still likes the DISNEY CHANNEL, so I MUST be immature and childish.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s

Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,

Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,

Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,

Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,

Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,

Calling me FAT wont make you PERFECT,

Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,

So why bother?

25 Reasons to Thank my Mother:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

You say Pink,
I say black!
You say the Harry Potter series,
I say the Twilight saga!
You say the Jonas Brothers are hot,
I say the Cullen brothers are HOTTER!
You say Miley Cyrus,
I say "I should La Push her AND you off a cliff..."
You say Romeo and Juliet,
I say Edward and Bella!
You say Werewolves,
I say Vampires!
You say Team Jacob,
I say Team Edward 4 ever!
You say you hate Twilight,
I say I hate YOU!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

Man: Can I buy you a drink?
Woman: Actually I'd rather have the money.

Man: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Woman: I must have been given your share.

Man: Your face must turn a few heads.
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Woman: Okay, get out.

Man: I think I could make you very happy.
Woman: Why? Are you leaving?

Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

Man: Can I have your name?
Woman: Why? Don't you already have one?

Man: want to see a movie?
Woman: I've already seen one.

Man: I'm God's gift to women
Woman: God certainly has a sense of humor.

Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman "It's in the phone book."

Man "What sign were you born under?"
Woman "No Parking."

Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman "Do not Enter"

Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman "Unfertilized"

Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man "I want to give myself to you."
Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.

I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.

I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year (or ever).

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

BUT I am also the girl who is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
her mom was an addict
her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
and had patches of hair

She always talked to it
when no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
some more and more pain
she’ll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
a scar on her face
why would she be
in such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have no soul!!

I'm the kind of girl who walks into a door and apoligizes.

I'm the kind of girl who would burst out laughing in a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

I'm the kind of girl who would rather love a guy from a book than in real life. (no comment!!)

I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it.