I believe in Doctor Who crossovers with everything, because the TARDIS takes him everywhere.

Every person has 1000 wishes. A cancer patient only has one: to get better. I know 97% will not post this as their status, but I have, in honor of those who died because of cancer, or are still ...fighting it. October - cancer month - Post this on, Facebook, Myspace, Fanfiction or whatever you people have, if you are one of the 3% that truly cares.

NB: I posted this because my Aunt had cancer.

When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let Life wonder how the hell you did that!

Please people, La tua cantante means "Your singer"! SO PLEASE STOP PUTTING THAT FUCKIN' PHRAZE INTO YOUR STORIES!!!!! IT'S GETTING TOO BLOODY ANNOYING!!!!!!!!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Erin Hunter, Stephanie Meyer, and J.K. Rowling are all famous authors and female. Looks like us girls win this one again!

65 percent of teenagers would rather watch T.V. than read. If you are one of the 35 percent that would rather have their nose stuck in a book, copy this in your profile.

IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsers!

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

!eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes, they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Woman: Did it hurt when you were dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby?

Man: Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
Woman: Really? I have the incredible urge to plant my foot up your @.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Robbers stab you in the stomach.

Boyfriends stab you in the heart.

Friends stab you in the back.

Best friends don't carry knives.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

When in doubt, make words up!

Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!

Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by a good book.

If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!

I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework.

The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow!

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

I like you. When I take over the world, your death will be quick and painless.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Girls Don't Realize These Things

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet alot of girls do too!

What makes me cringe while reading a fanfic:

- Error, such as; there/their, threw/through, than/then, waist/waste, here/heir, skirt/shirt and so on...

How Alice gets interpreted. She's a shopping nazi, plays "Bella Barbie" to the point where it's simply annoying and you want to switch stories. I wouldn't let my friend use me like that, ever! No matter how badly she pouts her lip like a spoiled child. - How authors usually keep the characters qualities from the books, like Jasper's calmness, Edward's piano playing or Alice's shopping (though sometimes it's a little overboard) except the fact that in the books, Bella is very much against marriage and such. In almost every fanfic I have read, Bella wants to get married and have kids.

When an author writes a few chapters, then just stops... completely! It's the most annoying thing ever! You just can't stop in the middle of the story! And if you don't plan on continuing, then say so!

Post this on your profile if you hate racism. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Tynol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

Disclaimers: All copywrited content I use in my stories belong to their creaters. I only own the characters I make up and throw in to confuse people.

Warning: Most of my writing contains extreme swearing, killing, talking about killing.

are you tired of all those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actualy come close to reality? well, heres is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:

1) when you are sad- I will help get you drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2) when you are blue- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3) when you smile- I will know you finally got laid

4) when you are scared- I wil rag on you every chance I get.

5) when you are worried- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6) when you are confused- I will use little words.

7) when you are sick- stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8) when you fall- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

this is my path... I pledge it till the end why? you may ask. because you are my friend. remember" a good friend will help you move. a really good friend will help you move a body. let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. a good friend will come and bail you out of jail... but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "damn... that was fun!

If you know me in real life, and doubt that it is me, then come talk to me. I will try to explain. A thing to remember: I am much more exuberrant in writing than in real life.