Dobby did not mean to kill. Just maim or seriously injure!

IMPORTANT!!!!!!

I don't know when any of my stories will be updated. Something has happened to my laptop; it deleted the GONE FanFic that I was working on, and it also won't let me open up Word. I'll try to get it fixed but I don't know how long that will take. Sorry.

Personal Stats

Name: Eilidh Eolly Edward Rosalie Bella Bedalie Bedward Beddie Alec Volturi Beatle McCartney Lennon Starr Harrison Vicar Ron-Weasley Eyelid Eli Dobby If Only... McMerritt (And my last name)

Age: 14

Gender: F

Appearance: I wear glasses. \(~)-(~)/ - like that :D

Hair: Ginger, although I would say brown-ish, but at the moment it is a sort of reddish, purple colour because I've dyed it!

Eyes: Blue

Languages: English, French and learning Latin

Things I'm Good At: Being weird, seeing and hearing really well in the dark and at night - better than in the daytime! Playing piano, reading, writing, making up words... oh, and arguing!

Favourite Things

Book Characters: Drake Merwin/Caine Soren (GONE), Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter), Roman/Ever (The Immortals Series), Alec/Riley (Twilight Saga), Georgia Nicolson/The Ace Gang/Dave (Georgia Nicolson Series), Alex Rider (Alex Rider Series), Patch/Nora/Jules,Elliot (Hush,Hush), Iggy/Fang/Max - in fact, ALL the Maximum Ride characters! Jace, Clary, Valentine, Alec, Magnus and Sebastian/Jonathon from The Mortal Instuments Trilogy. Also, Mary, Martha, Dickon and Colin from The Secret Garden. There are loads more but I would be here FOREVER writing them!

Authors: Michael Grant, John Grisham, Michael Connelly, Cassandra Clare, Derek Landy, Cathy Cassidy, Anne Cassidy...so much more, so little time!!

Movies: Harry Potter Series, Twilight Saga, Angus,Thongs and Perfect Snogging, WALL-E, Mama Mia, Stormbreaker, The Secret Of Moonacre, Ballet Shoes, The Chorus, La Gloire De Mon Pere, Le Chateaux De Ma Mere, James Bond, The Secret Garden, The Sound Of Music.

Books: The GONE Series, The Harry Potter Series, The Twilight Series, Hush,Hush, Deatwatch, Bonechiller, Georgia Nicolson Series, The Mortal Instruments Trilogy, Alex Rider Series, The Immortals series, Maximum Ride Series, Vampire Diaries, American Pyscho (I'm not a weirdo...), the Demonata books, Starcrossed, Ushig, Skulduggery Pleasant books, The Way I See It, and a lot more that would take me forever to name!!

Music Artists: My Chemical Romance, Paramore, The Beatles, Paul McCartney, Muse, Florence+The Machine, Vampire Weekend, John Lennon, Civil Twilight, White Stripes, Linkin Park, Plain White T's, 3OH!3, Katy Perry, Johnny Cash, Britt Nicole, Wavves, Drake, Teddy Geiger, One Night Only, The Smiths, Morrissey, The Clash, The Cure, DOVES, The XX, Within Temptation and MORE!

Albums: Ellie Goulding:LIGHTS, Cheryl Cole:3 Words, ANY Beatles/Paul McCartney/John Lennon album, My Chemical Romance: Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys, and MORE!

Songs: Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance, Starry Eyed by Ellie Goulding, StarStruckk by 3OH!3, At The Mercy by Paul McCartney (I like all of his songs though!), All Star by Smash Mouth, Drive My Car by The Beatles (all of their songs are my favourite!), Human by Civil Twilight, Human by The Killers, Say You Don't Want It by One Night Only, These Walls by Teddy Geiger, Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend, Jonathan Low by Vampire Weekend, Underage Thinking by Teddy Geiger, Idiot by Wavves, How Soon Is Now? by The Smiths, Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by The Smiths, HURT by Johnny Cash (it's actually by 9-inch Nails but the Johnny Cash cove is AMAZING), Headphones by Britt Nicole (and more - obviously!)

Food: Mini Marshmallows - I HATE the ordinary sized ones.

Animal: Snakes and Lizards

Pets: NONE!

Likes: GONE, Drake Merwin, music, playing the piano, hanging out with friends, FanFiction.net

Dislikes: The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, bullies, 24 hour clocks - I CAN'T UNDERSATND THEM! (And it's not just the clocks I'm talking about...)

Dreams/Aspirations: To be a lawyer (just like my dad!) and an author, to go to Oxford/Cambridge/Glasgow University

T.V. Programmes: Doctor Who, Downton Abbey, Vampire Diaries

BOOKS!!!!

My FAVOURITE things in the world!!! So, in no particular order:

GONE Series by Michael Grant - Seriously amazing book series. I met Michael Grant once (he said he liked my t-shirt!!) and it was a great experience. I think the GONE books are my favourite books. EVER.

Favourite Character(s): Drake Merwin. Caine Soren. Diana Ladris.

Least Favourite Character(s): Sam Temple. Astrid Ellison.

The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra ClareAmazingly funny. There are many parts in these books that have had me laughing for about 5 minutes!!! Really recomend them.

Favourite Character(s): Clary Fray. Jace Wayland. Alec, Isabelle and Max Lightwood. Magnus Bane.

Least Favourite Character(s): SIMON!

The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare - Same as above.

Favourite Character(s): Gabriel Lightwood. Will. Tessa. Jem. Nate, at times.

Least Favourite Character(s): -

Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy - Hilarious. Amazing. Brilliant. A really great series. I love them. They're brilliant books to read if you're sad or down, because they will make you laugh. And laugh. And laugh. :D

'PLEASE - put this on your profile if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn't know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won't copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will copy and paste.

James Bond Songs: "Tomorrow Never Dies." Tomorrow never lived in the first place!
"You Only Live Twice." No, you only live ONCE!

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

Your a book-aholic if...

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else in the entire world) to read it.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. (I read all three Mortal Instruments books in 2 days. That's 1345 pages all together. I know, I'm sad!)

You've planned and prepared a seige on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.(Who wouldn't??)

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.

Your idol is a character from a book.(

QUOTES AND OTHER STUFF THAT I'VE HEARD/READ/SAID.

Life is too short to make sense. - Me, Eilidh. :D

I hate all kids. Babies just cry, and little kids just cry, complain and whine. - Megan. Otherwise known as Third.Snow.Leopard

Dobby did not mean to kill. Just maim or seriously injure! - Dobby the house elf. From Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief respites are called panic. - Cullen Hightower

If we see light at the end of the tunnel, it is the light of the oncoming train. - Robert Lowell

Don't let ageing get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Hi-tech tomatoes. Super squash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us? - Annita Manning

Try not to worry...take each day just one anxiety attack at a time. - Tom Wilson

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or the others crazy? - Albert Einstein

I don't want to retire. I'm not that good at crossword puzzles. - Norman Miller

I accept chaos. I'm not sure whether it accepts me. - Bob Dylan

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. - Robert Frost

Exercise daily. Eat wisely. Die anyway. - Anonymous

Speak when you're angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - Lawrence J. Peter

Never worry about your heart till it stops beating. - E.B. White

Life is a zoo in a jungle. - Peter De Vries

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. - John Lennon

Osama Bin Laden is either alive and well, or alive and not well, or not alive. - Donald Rumsfeld

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all. - William Goldman

"Are you going to shoot me?" Vengeous sneered. "I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight."
"And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight." - Vengeous and Skulduggery Pleasant

Are you taking my hat hostage? - Skulduggery Pleasant

The stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (Bold the ones you've done :D)

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny at a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out-
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class (Well...I wrote my name on the calculator)
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

If you have ever blurted something totally random out at the worst times, copy and paste this into your profile

If you know you are totally crazy, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think High School Musical is evil,and brainwashes little kids,copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think High School Musical just plain sucked and every copy should be burned, copy and paste this to your profile.

COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND CONTINUE THE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SUCKS TRAIN! ADD YOUR NAME AND COPY AND PASTE! Stephanie Pascal, x Rajah x, Darth KenObi-Wan,x Hana Solo, Big Boy1246, My-Name-Is-Not-Dobby

If you've ever killed a joke, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have over 300 novels in your room and think its odd people gawk at them, copy this to your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever crashed into a wall (or anything else) while you were sugarhigh, copy onto profile.

If you've ever lost someone (cats count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, Katie-3llen rideralex, Jedi Knight of Middle-Earth, PorcelainHeart94, Darth KenObi-Wan, Hana Solo, Big Boy1246, My-Name-Is-Not-Dobby

If you've ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason ... Copy this onto your profile

If you come up with some strange lines that make your friends laugh (or stare at you, causing an awkward silence) paste this into your profile.

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you believe that no matter what someone has done, nobody ever deserves to be sworn at, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you utterly loathe and dispise Hannah Montana, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list! PorcelainHeart94, Darth KenObi-Wan, Hana Solo, My-Name-Is-Not-Dobby

If you would take a bullet for your best friend, put this in your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes logon but never read a single fic because you're too busy copying and pasting these things to your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your E-mail inbox has nothing but E-mails from ffn or some other fanfic website, like tfn, copy and paste this to your profile.

I don't write slash! if you don't write slash, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

~Vampire Diaries Oath~

I promise to remember Bonnie when I think of Witches
I promise to remember Damon when I see a leather jacket
I promise to remember Stefan when someone shows they truly care
I promise to remember Elena when I see a girl who looks like an angel, whose pretty and fair.
I promise to remember Meredith when someone is calm in the crowd
I promise to remember Caroline when I lose a dear friend of mine, especially one who is proud.
I promise to remember Matt when I see someone who doesn’t give up
I promise to remember Katherine, Shinichi, Misao and the Malach when I meet someone who is pure evil and sadistic, and radiating bad luck.
I promise to remember the Dark Dimension when I hear of nightmare filled places
Yes, I promise to remember the Vampire Diaries
Whatever book I may read, or place I may see
Show all know of my love for Delena..
And all know that Vampire Diaries is the best for me!

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. ~John Lennon

Copy and paste this into your profile if you think or know that you copied and pasted the same thing more than once.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you think or know that you copied and pasted the same thing more than once.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile.

98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever walked into a statue, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

║██║
║(0)║ i love music
╚══╝

███ 30% Competitive
████ 40% Chocolate Lover
█████ 50% Atheist
██████ 60% Music Lover
███████ 70% Shy
████████ 80% Tomboy
█████████ 90% Book Addict
██████████ 100% Certified Weirdo and Proud Of It!

If you can't stand stupid girls, Copy and Paste this to your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and/or werewolves and would like to be one, copy and paste.

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

If you are addicted to vampires, post this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

A person who smiles in crisis has found someone to blame.

7/5 of all people do not understand fractions.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

It's not MY fault I never learned to accept responsibility!

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Don't worry too much about what people think, because they seldom do.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

If this saying did not exist, somebody would have invented it.

Why get even when you can get odd?

What goes around usually gets dizzy and falls over.

Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.

If time is on your side, what's on the other?

How is it that "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who actually do.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?

If you would take a bullet for your best friend, put this in your profile.

LADIES don't start fights, we FINISH them.

Do you remember when Pluto was a planet? Yeah, those were the days...

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me, either.
Just leave me the heck alone!

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang soda.

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far?

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?

I forgot to remember.

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

As I said before, I never repeat myself.

I intend to live forever...so far so good!

Do vegetarians eat animals crackers?

Of course I'm talking to myself...who else can I trust?

Hug a tree: they have less issues than people.

Everyone's unique in their own unique way. Therefore, being unique is not all that unique...

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Common sense is not so common.

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr waht oerdr the ltteres of a wrod are in, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile.

If you've ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile (The scary thing is it has come-backs... O.o)

If you've ever done homework, were reading a story on fanfiction, were writing a story for fanfiction, were talking to a friend, or were watching TV at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile (Girls can multi-task)

If you randomly check your email every five minutes while on the computer, copy this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.

~I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

~You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.

~The extinction of the dinosaurs was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

~Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

~When in doubt, make words up!

~The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

~If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!

~Don't worry about the end of the world coming today- it's already tomorrow in Australia.

~Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!

~Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!

~Two things are infinite; infinity, and human stupidity. Not so sure about infinity...

~Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?

~I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly

~Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now.

~If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!

~I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework.

~WARNING- stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer!

~There are three kinds of people- those who can count, and those who can't.

~The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow!

~I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

~A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking

~At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

~Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

~War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

~To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

~When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

~The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

~The problem with political jokes is that very often they get elected.

~Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

~ When there's a will, I want to be in it.

~It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt-then it's hilarious!

~Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

~I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

~Your shin: a device used to find furniture in the dark

~Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

~People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

~If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

~VAMPIRE~

[x] You rather be pale than tan.

[x] You like to eat or drink red things.

[ ] When you're kissing someone, you tend to bite them.

[ ] You're dark, mysterious, and seductive.

[x] You've tasted your own blood before and liked it.

[x] Being out in the sun too long makes you feel weak.

[x] You're graceful, lithe, and can appear threatening or dangerous to others - I'm not not graceful or lithe but I CAN appear threatening and dangerous!

[ ] You have incredible charm and can get people to do nearly anything.

[x] You're more active at night.

Total: 6

~ZOMBIE~

[x] You're an outcast.

[x] You feel as if You're not truly alive.

[x] You'll moan when you're hurt rather than scream and cry.

[x] You tend to zone out.

[ ] You don't feel very smart.

[ ] You like worms.

[x] You like taking things slowly.

[ ] You like odd foods.

[x] You prefer to suffer in silence.

[x] You don't get much sleep.

Total: 7

~GHOST/PHANTOM~

[x] You're invisible. - I certainly feel as though I am!

[ ] You have an oddly eerie presence.

[ ] You can send chills down a persons spine just by looking at them.

[ ] You have messy hair that is partially/completely in your face.

[ ] You're incredibly/very gentle.

[ ] You're very shy around someone you find attractive.

[ ] You tend to simply disappear when no ones looking.

[x] You enjoy scaring people.

[x] You like the indoors.

[ ] You are deeply connected to the ones you love no matter what happens.

Total: 3

~GHOUL~

[ ] You will eat just about anything.

[x] You like to attack people verbally or physically.

[x] You are thrilled if you can make someone bleed - only if it's someone I HATE

[ ] If you were with someone, you wouldn't care if you hurt them as long as you're getting what you want out of them.

[ ] You like stalking people.

[x] You find it fun to crawl into tight, small, cramped, dirty spaces - Prefer them even though I'm claustrophobic!

[x] You get hungry easily.

[x] You like torture.

[x] You live to hurt people.

[x] You like the idea of being insane.

Total: 7

~SHAPESHIFTER~

[x] You have different personalities.

[x] Your style could change from Goth to preppy in the same second.

[ ] You're fickle.

[ ] You have more than one lover.

[x] You're unpredictable.

[ ] You would change yourself entirely to fit in/get a date.

[x] You are fond of many different things.

[ ] You can easily get out of trouble by changing your demeanor.

[x] You often say one thing and mean another.

[x] You like to leave your clothes on the floor after taking them off.

Total: 6

~DEMON~

[x] You have a very bad temper

[x] You're usually angry.

[ ] You have to make other people miserable with every breath that you take.

[ ] You worship Satan.

[x] You like pentagrams.

[x] You love to mess with peoples heads.

[ ] You could do just about anything bad to someone and feel proud.

[x] You laugh when other people are hurt - depends on who's hurt and how they got hurt

[ ] Physically harming someone turns you on.

[x] You respond to an insult by viciously attacking the other person.

Total: 6

TOTALS

VAMPIRE: 6

ZOMBIE: 7

GHOST/PHANTOM: 3

GHOUL: 7

SHAPESHIFTER: 6

DEMON: 6

Ooh! I'm a Zombie ghoul!

Stop Flamers Now!

No more shall we tolerate flamers that flame for stupid reasons such as for pairings, who wrote the story, and just because they can!

Copy and paste this into your profile if you want to join the organization called "Stop Flamers Now!"

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.
Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom,rainbowstrike, iKate, fangalicous08, Armygirl0604, My-Name-Is-Not-Dobby

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang+Iggy from maximum ride, Edward+Jasper from twilight!), teeny-weeny-munchkin (it's...he's...no I can't say!!) True Colours (Hey, they can never reject you, only Alex Rider just stole Yassen from me...in my head...which cannot be normal...curses) Flys Through Water (Edward Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Jasper Hale, Alex Rider, Luke Garner, Jesse de Silva, Paul Slater (Twilight, Breaking Dawn, New Moon, Alex Rider Adventures, Shadow Children Series, Shadowland, Darkest Hour) Insanely Me (Sirius Black, Alex Rider, Will Treaty, Yassen Gregorvitch, Gregory House, James from Nightworld, and Artemis Fowl) My-Name-Is-Not-Dobby(Drake Merwin and Caine Soren from GONE series, Iggy and Fang from Maximum Ride, Jace and Sebastian from The Mortal Instruments and Will and Gabriel from Clockwork Angel.)

Strange/ Funny/ Useless Facts I found

-About 8,000 Americans are injured by musical instruments each year (Go take music lessons!)

-One in three dog owners say they have talked to their pets on the phone (Gasp! Me too!)

-85% of parents use child safety seats incorrectly (Don't those things come with instructions?)

-35% of people watching T.V. yell at it (And here I was, thinking I was the only one)

-One in seven Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a map (Then one out of seven Americans need to go back to school)

-Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour (And they said I was wasting my time)

-Termites eat wood twice as fast when listening to heavy metal music (And you wasted time on cancer research for this because...)

-The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes (Which is why England should always be on your side)

-The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want (Gee, that's real helpful)

-Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously (And that is why children, you should always keep your marijuana and nutmeg seperated)

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (A lot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.H.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.H.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

Some people are like slinkys. Completely useless, but fun to kick down the stairs.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

Yeah! I love wearing straight jackets, too! I get to hug myself!

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing.

It's funny till someone get's hurt, the it's freakin hilarious!

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Love me or hate me. Personally, I couldn't care less.

Promises mean everything, but once they're broken, "I'm sorry" means nothing.

Joe: Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

There is no shame in not knowing. The shame lies in not finding out.

My imaginary friend thinks you have some real problems.

BRB, my fish just drowned

I am getting sick and tired of slitting the throats of the people who say I'm a violent psychopath!

OMG! The rain's wet!

Life is a job. Death is the Lord's way of saying, "You're fired." Suicide is human's way of saying, "I quit." Immortality means, "I like my job."

My thermometer is sick! Get the thermometer…oh wait…

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the first one.

If your going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.

I'm not afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of the ninja's that hide in the dark.

And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be?

The ships hang in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

"I called your boyfriend gay and then he hit me with his purse."

You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, bitch.

I'm not the girl your mom warned you about. Her imagination was never this good.

If it weren't for law enforcement and physics, I would be unstoppable!

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. I know. I've tried it.

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

Beware the flying donkey, falling from the sky. You can choose the way you live my friend but not the way you die!

Don't aggravate me, I'm running out of places to put the body's.

Don't be so humble. Your not that great.

You’re a good friend, but if the zombies come, I'm tripping you.

Can't stand me? Then sit down.

You have to take the good with the bad, smile when you're sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes but never regret. People change, and things go wrong, but just remember: life goes on.

What's this thing you call "normal"? Is it contagious? OMG! Don't touch me! I might catch your "normal"!

For the millionth time! I can't go to Hell, they have a restraining order against me!

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run! Death hates that.

I did not hit you, I just high-fived your face.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

You're intoxicated by my very presence.

He gave her twelve roses. Eleven were real and one was fake. He said I'll love you till the last one dies.

Sir, you are like a pin, but without either its head or its point.

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.

I'm not a complete idiot. I lost a few pieces.

One by one, the penguins are stealing my sanity. Don't laugh! Your next.

I was wondering why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

It's not easy arguing with yourself.

Yes it is.

No it's not.

Yes it is!

Shut up! Jesuses kid!

When the mouse laughs at the cat, there's a hole near by.

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

It doesn't matter if I'm right or wrong, I'm still the one with the gun.

10 Commandments of a Teenager!!

1) Thou shall not sneek out when parents are sleeping. (why wait?)

2) Thou shall not do drugs (you can break this one, it's not that
important)

3) Thou shall not steal from k-mart. (walmart has a bigger selection)

4) Thou shall not get arrested for vandalism. (destruction has a bigger
effect)

5) Thou shall not steal from thy parents. (everyone knows grandma has more
money)

6) Thou shall not get in fights. (just start them)

7) Thou shall not skip class. (just take the whole day off)

8) Thou shall not strip in class. (hooters pays more)

9) Thou shall not think about having bad things. (as nike says "Just do it")

10) Thou shall not help old ladies cross the street. (just leave them in
the middle)

15 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get
to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,
especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I
think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what
happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
and turn the volumes to “10″.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen
you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid
embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask
yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who BUYS this junk,
anyway?”

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

12 ways to get rid of a telemarketer

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and
you could sure use some money. Ask, “How long can I keep it? Do I have to
ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my
bankruptcy?”

2. If you get one of those pushy people who won’t shut up, just listen to their
sales pitch. When they try to close the sale, tell them that you’ll need to go get
your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping or
whatever. See how long that commission based scum waits for you to get your
credit card.

3. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “Why do you want to
know?” Or you can say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one seems to care
these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes
are sore, my dog just died….” When they try to get back to the sales process, just
continue on with telling about your problems.

4. If the person says he’s Joe Doe from the ABC Company, ask him to spell his
name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located.
Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long
as necessary.

5. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: “Hi, my name is Julie
and I’m with Dodger & Peck Services…. You: “Hang on a second.” (few seconds
pause) “Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?”

6. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, “Julie!! Is this
really you? I can’t believe it! Julie, how have you BEEN?” Hopefully, this will
give Julie a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck
she could know you from.

7. Say, “No,” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an
even tempo even as they’re trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep
going until they hang up.

8. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan,
reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, “I don’t have any friends…would
you be my friend?”

9. If they clean rugs: “Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat
blood or HUMAN blood – chicken blood too?”

10. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary
feedback in the form of an occasional “Uh-huh, really, or, “That’s fascinating.”
Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered,
but just tell them you couldn’t give your credit card number to someone who’s a
complete stranger.

11. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example:
Telemarketer: “This is Bill from Widget & Associates.” You: “Widget &
Associates!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?”
Telemarketer: “Uh, Dallas, Texas.” You: “Great, they have a group there too?
How’s business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling
to employees! Oh well, see ya.”

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone
number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out
their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call
them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of
Telemarketers). If the person says, “Well, I don’t really want to get a call at
home,” say, “Yeah! Now you know how I feel.” (smiling, of course…)

OK, these random sayings etc below I got off ArmyGirl0604's profile. I found them really funny, and I couldn't stop laughing!

Random Quotes

I will not think about guys. I will not think about guys. I will not think abo- whoa! A hot guy!

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed."

Heaven doesn’t want me, and Hell’s afraid I’ll take over.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n’ slide.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Smile. It confuses people.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

A short... thing... that I like.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Stupid Questions that need to be answered.

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?

Funny things!

If you don’t stand for anything, you don’t stand for anything!--George W. Bush

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

What's another word for thesaurus?

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop ?

Help, I've fallen and I can't...hey, nice carpet! It's soo pretty!

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail...A best friend will be sitting next to you saying 'Damn, that was fun!'

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? You've learned!!

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. Where'd it go??

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

The cops never find it as funny as you do.

You know you live in 2010 when . . .

1.) You accidently enter your password on a microwave

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of getting up and just pushing the button on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even know that you have the ability to do your job

7.) As you keep reading this list you keep nodding and smiling

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all of your friends

9.) You were to busy to notice #5 and #3

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5 and 3

12.) Now your thinking "I have to put this in my profile!"

13.) You put this in your profile because you fell for it and you know you did!

-If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an annoying younger--or older-- sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened...yesterday.

If you're going to criticise someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Last night, I was lying on my bed, staring up at the stars and wondering 'Where the heck is my roof?'

I want to do that thing when you put a map of the world on your wall and put pins in all the places you've been to. But first, I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it doesn't fall down.

Ten percent of people in Britain believe that their food has a party when they shut the fridge door.

If you get sent to jail, a friend will bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, "Darn we sure screwed up!

Why is rap so named? Becasue the'c' fell off at the printer.

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

"Wal-Mart, do they, like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.

I’m not saying you’re stupid, I’m just implying it.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Music is like candy - you throw away the rappers.

Truly stupid things found on other things:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR

1) When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"

2) When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"

3) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

4) Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

5) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

6) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

7) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

8) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

9) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

10) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

11) Meow occasionally.

12) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

13) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

15) Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

16) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

17) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

18) Say "Ding!" at each floor.

19) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

20) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

21) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

22) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

23) Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with a GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DONT LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I play PIANO, so I MUST know how to play every instrument.
I have GLASSES, so I MUST be smart.
I'm QUIET, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a great MEMORY, so I MUST be smart.
I have STOLEN, so I MUST be a THEIF.
I wear VANS, so I MUST be a SKATEBOARDER.
I wear NIKES, so I MUST be BLACK.
I wear CONVERSE, so I MUST be PUNK.
I love VAMPIRES, so I MUST be WEIRD.
I have BRACES, so I MUST look like a nerd.
I dislike my BODY, so I MUST have poor SELF IMAGE.

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? No

2) Do you hate more than 3 people? Way more than 3! Probably more like 300...close enough anyway!

3) How many houses have you lived in? 3

4) Favorite candy bar? I prefer TESCO Chocolate Buttons to be honest...

5) Favorite shoes? My Goth boots or my funky trainers...

6) Have you ever tripped someone? YEP!

7) Least favorite school subject? MATHS!

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? No way!

10) Have you ever thrown up in public? No

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. FanFiction...

12) Favorite genre of music? emm...rock/emo/goth

13) What is your zodiac sign? Libra

14) What time were you born? 7:40pm

15) Do you like beer? No

16) Ever made a prank phone call? No

17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Probably the High School Musical soundtrack. *shudders*

18) Are you sarcastic? All the time

19) What are your favorite colours? Blood red and black

20) How many watches do you own? 5.

21) Summer or winter? Winter. Except when it snows.

23) Favorite colour to wear? Black. Or red

24) Pepsi or Sprite? Pepsi

25) What color is your cell phone? Black and Orange

26) Where is your second home? Close to where my current house is...

27) Have you ever slapped someone? Naturally

28) Have you ever had a cavity? No

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? One.

30) How many video games do you own? A lot, but it's really my brother who plays them

31) What was your first pet? Never had a pet

32) Ever had braces? Yes. I've got them at the moment.

33) Do looks matter?I like to think that they don't

34) Do you use chapstick? No

35) Name 3 teachers from your High School. Why?!

36) American Eagle or Abercombie? ...WHAT?!

37) Are you too forgiving? When I fall out with "friends," then yes I am.

38) How many children do you want? Absolutely NONE!

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? WHAT?!

40) Favorite breakfast meal? Ready-Brek and Crumpets

41) Do you own a gun? No :(

42) Ever thought you were in love? Yes, I think so.

3) When was the last time you cried? This afternoon (6.10.10)

44) What did you do 3 nights ago? R.P.ing on a GONE Forum.

45) Olive Garden? La Panera? ... Where?

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? No.

47) Have you ever been in a castle? Yes BORING!

48) Nicknames? Freak, weirdo, Garfield, Eil, Eyelid, Eli...

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? No.

50) Ever been to Kentucky? Nope

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? What's that?!

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? Yes.

53) Have you ever called someone Boo? No...

55) Do you own a diamond ring? no

56) Are you happy with your life right now? Yes, i suppose

57) Do you dye your hair? I've dyed it twice. :D

58) Does anyone like you? I would hope so!

59) What year were you born? 1996

60) What were you doing in May of 1994? I wasn't ALIVE!

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? No. My dad might though...

62) McDonalds or Wendys? McDonalds

63) Do you like yourself? Sometimes. Rarely.

64) Are you closer to your mother or father? Dad, I guess.

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Dunno

66) Are you afraid of the dark? No, I love it.

67) Have you ever eaten paste? No...

68) Do you own a webcam? Nope..

69) Have you ever stripped? No.

70) Ever broke a bone? Yes. Fighting. With a BOY!

72) Do you chat on AIM often? HUH?!

73) Pringles or Lays? Pringles

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? No.

75) Rugrats or Doug? RUGRATS!

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? ...

77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? Yes. Well, I liked my old one - she was really nice - but then she got a new job at a different school and she moved. I'm not sure what I think of our new one yet.

78) Has anyone ever called you fat? Yep.

79) Do you have a birth mark? Yeah, it looks like a tea stain.

80) Do you own a car? Not yet...

81) Can you cook? No, i can bake..

82) 3 things that annoy you: Chavs. Sun. When the internet doesn't work

83) Do you text message often? Sometimes

84) Money or love? Love.

85) Do you have any scars? One on my knee because I got a nail through it...

86) What do you want more than anything right now? Get a a power where I can enter any books I want!

87) Do you enjoy scary movies? Oh yes!

88) Relationships or one night stands? I would prefer neither

89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? ...

90) Do you enjoy greasy food? Sometimes

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? No

92) Do you own a box of crayons? Yes!

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? A friend! It was a joke though

95) Who was the last person that made you mad? Parents

96) Who was the last person that made you cry? My so called friends

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? 2 of my friends

98) Who was the last person that you fell for? Not telling!

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? What?!

100) Who was the last person that called you?

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture. (Unless it's for books!)
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.(I wanted to go down the fireman pole... XD)
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.(I watch golf, football and rugby!)
You love video games (They're okay :))
Guitar Hero/Rock Band rule!
Gory movies are cool. (Hell yesssssssss!!!!!))

You go to your dad for advice. (Generally)
You own like a trillion baseball caps. (I own, like, a trillion caps in general!!)
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
You love to go crazy and you don't care what other people think.
Sleep with your socks on at night.

Total:26

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner
You wear the color pink. (Ewwww)
Go to your mum for advice. (I don't go to either, but my dad's generally nicer.)
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
Video games are boring.
Rock Band/Guitar Hero are a waste of time.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars. (I LOVE it!)
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up
You smile a lot more than you should.
You care about what you look like. (Sometimes D:)
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies
Used to play with dolls as little kid. (Unfortunately...)
Like putting make-up on someone else for the heck of it.
Like being the star of every thing.

Total: 5

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list...

AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen,xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Smartest Girl In The World,'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe', Zwergschnauzer, dablackfox101, mushroomcloudslooklikebroccoli, Really Really Long PenName Guy, xXAnimeKittenXx, Smallvillegirl2, Amuto-fan-Neko-san, DarknessXanime, KatieKakes, xCrazyChicax, My-Name-Is-Not-Dobby

98 percent of teenagers smoke or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will give you their umbralle when it is raining
REAL FRIENDS:Will take yours and say "Run Bitch Run!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you have ever started laughing for no reason, copy and paste this in your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane, copy and paste this in your profile

If you are extremely obsessed with british boys and their accents, copy and paste this in your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this in your profile

If you're friends are always trying to tell you to shutup and you won't, copy and paste this into your profile

If fanfiction is to you as Myspace and Facebook are to other people, copy this onto your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile

If you think the world is heading to a bad place, and are planning on doing something about it by making wonderful stories, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had the sudden desire to own a tazer, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you happen to still talk to your imaginary Friend and occasionally punch him/her because they are know it alls copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

If you talk so fast no one can understand you unless they try really hard and even then it's a struggle, copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If your friends are considering torturing you to stop talking about a fictional character, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this into your profile

Dads

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by
jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on your heart.

If you love your dad, post this on your profile!

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--

Random list of Gone characters:

1. Drake
2. Caine
3. Diana
4. The Gaiaphage / The Darkness
5. Quinn
6. Lana
7. Brianna
8. John
9. L.P.
10. Astrid
11. Dekka
12. Sam

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Lana/Dekka? no!

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

A glob of radioactivness is NOT hot!

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

If Sam got John pregnant? Mary would go CRAZY!

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine?

A couple, but not many. Poor L.P. :(

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Cain and Lana? I don't know! XD

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

Quinn/L.P. or Quinn/Astrid? Definitely Quinn/Astrid!

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Brianna walking in on Sam and Caine?! Not going to happen! If iT did, she would go crazy, calling Sam a traitor!

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic

The bad girl and the genius see past their differences and ditch their boyfriends!

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?

Drake and John? No Chance! Drake's mine, all MINE!

10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

Brianna/Sam? hmm...

"Faster Than The Speed Of Light?" I don't know!

11. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

John? I don't know, really!

12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Drake/Lana/Sam? Probably something like: If you don't want Sam to die, DON'T read this!

13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

Ages ago! No-one seems to like him much!

14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (6).

Drake and Brianna (not likely!) are in a happy relationship until Brianna runs off with the Darkness. Drake, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Dekka (HAH!) and a brief unhappy affair with Sam (Hehe!), then follows the wise advice of Quinn (Drake, following QUINN'S advice?) and finds true love with Lana. Odd.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

If you have a really great friend(s) you've met over the internet and think that the paranoid people who say you shouldn't talk to people over the internet should go shove their megaphones somewhere unpleasant, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list. Neassa, anime-adorer2006, WinterLoveSong,otherrealmwriter,thunderthighs, Angelmail, Mbali97, SapphireOceans, GONEFAN101,

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

One day, I will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

I'm not crazy! You're just jealous because the voices don't talk to you.

IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsors! :D:D:D:D:D

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into lamposts. And say sorry to them.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If life gives you lemons, make orange juice and let them wonder how you did it.

Isn't it ironic that Google Chrome's spellchecker doesn't accept Google as a word?

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAY:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mummy).

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin humming the theme to Star Wars.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant roach into the room and release it on a nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

42. Dress like the professor.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said 'pull', copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallenupthe stairs, copy this into your profile.

"Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that."

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, therefore weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

95 of teens would go into a panic attack if the Jonas brothers were about to jump off the empire state building. Copy and paste this if you are one of the 5 who would pull up a lawn chair, grab some popcorn and yell JUMP !!

It's you and me against the world...WE ATTACK AT DAWN!!

If you very often spontaneously break into a different language, copy and paste this onto your profile (English and French)

If you think we should go bother Snape paste this on you're profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read past two AM in the morning copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

If you admit to being one hundred percent normal, it's just everyone else who's insane, copy and paste this on your profile.

The six truths of life

1. You can't lick all of your teeth with your tongue.

2. You just tried to do the above.

3. The first truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're realizing you're an idiot.

5. You'll copy this into your profile for some other sucker to read it.

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face

10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:

1. Ask For Directions To A Place Youre Already At.

2. Try To Order Pizza From McDonalds.

3. Get Hit By A Parked Car.

4. Try To Watch Saturday Cartoons On A Thursday.

5. Try To Sell Your Money.

6. Try To Play The Alphabet On The Piano.

7. Eat All You Can Eat At A Store.

8. Get Into A Fight With Yourself And Lose.

9. Try To Go Swimming Without Getting Wet.

10. Ask For Diet Water At A Restaurant (Its so funny to watch the waiter write it down and then go "Wait what?")

Goldfish have the memory span of 3 seconds, sometimes i have to wonder if i'm a goldfish.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

Parents spend the first half of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Therapist = the/rapist. Scary thought...

Before you judge a person walk a mile in their shoes; Then you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Crazy? Once I was crazy. They locked me in a room to die. Die? I don't want to die. All the mice will get me. Mice? I hate mice. They drive me crazy. Crazy? Once I was crazy. They locked...

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder

When in doubt, make up words

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Ooooo . . . A life. Where can I download one?

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

--If you can't BEAT them, JOIN them

If you can't JOIN them, BRIBE them

If you can't BRIBE them, BLACKMAIL them

If you can't BLACKMAIL them, KILL them

If you can't KILL them, your SCREWED

My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.

"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

6. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop frowning, the winds gonna blow it that way."

18. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.

"You'll turn into a carrot if you eat any more.

25. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.

"If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay."

26. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Eilidh

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Eilizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav coulour and fav animal): Black Lizard

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (Middle name and current street name): No Knowes (I have no middle name :D)

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (The first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of your mom's maiden name): McSeiwen

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favourite color, favorite drink): Red Milk

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of your siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Iswen

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Jock or Black Angus (Don’t have any pets, but might be getting a Scottie dog. If we do, we’re calling it either Jock or Angus.)