KurohiKitsune
 Author has written 2 stories for Inuyasha, and Naruto. Name: Naitsuki Age: Why do you want to know? Favorite animals: Foxes,panthers,wolves,tigers,pheonixes,dragons,dogs...most other animals... Hobbies: Writing, reading, singing(as bad as i am.) Likes: Fanfictions, rock, metal, Anime, Manga, fire, explosions, science, math, reading, Dislikes: People who blame others for something they didn't do, People who won't leave others alone when the want to be alone 92 percent of teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe any more. Put this in your profile if your one of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off. 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile. if you threaten inanimate objects put this on your profile If you think it's stupid that girls are associated with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile. The Difference Between Friends, and Best Friends FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. FRIENDS: Will help you move. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile! If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile! If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile Quotes by Eddie Izzard! (cause he is awesome) We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain!" They're going "You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us!" "Do you have a flag …?' "What? We don't need a flag, this is our home, you bastards" "No flag, No Country, You can't have one! Those are the rules... that I just made up!...and I'm backing it up with this gun, that was lent to me from the National Rifle Association." Someone's killed 100,000 people. We're almost going, "Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym. Your diary must look odd: 'Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death – lunch – death, death, death – afternoon tea – death, death, death – quick shower …' " They went to the Moon and they brought back rock. Trouble is, we've got rock. That was the one thing we didn't need, wasn't it? "Rock, Neil? I don't know whether you looked at the planet before you took off, but it's made of fucking rock!" "But it's Moon rock …" "Oh, fucking hell, this is Earth rock, Neil, come on! Have you heard, on the stock market, rock's gone up three points? No, it hasn't, has it? 'Cause it's fucking rock!" His name changed from Gerry Dorsey to Engelbert Humperdinck. I mean, I just wanted to be in the room when they were working that one through: "Zingelbert Bembledack! Yingybert Dambleban! Zangelbert Bingledack! Wingelbert Humptyback! … Slut Bunwalla!" "What?!" "All right, Kringelbert Fishtybuns! Steviebuns Bottrittrundle –" "No, Gerry Dorsey! I like Gerry Dorsey!" "No, we can't, who we got? Zingelbert Bembledack, Tringelbert Wangledack, Slut Bunwalla, Klingybun Fistelvase, Dindlebert Zindledack, Gerry Dorsey, Engelbert Humptyback, Zengelbert Bingledack, Engelbert Humperdinck, Vingelbert Wingledanck –" "No, no, go back one!" I had to chat up girls, and I'd only tagged them before. I didn't have the verbal power to be able to say, "Susan, I saw you in the classroom today. As the sun came from behind the clouds, a burst of brilliant light caught your hair, it was haloed in front of me. You turned, your eyes flashed fire into my soul, I immediately read the words of Dostoevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, 'I fancy you.' " But no! At 13, you're just going, " 'Ello, Sue. I saw you in the room... I've got legs, have you? Oh yeah... Do you like bread? I've got a French loaf. [mimes smacking her with the loaf and dashing off] Bye! (I love you!)" "My name is Mrs. Smith, I've made apples out of bread and dripping, a bit of green paint, and corrugated iron." "No, these are horrible apples, Mrs. Smith. Go away, Mrs. Smith! Go away until your daughter has a baby." "Shag, daughter, shag! It's a marketing idea, shag for babies! [mimes running back] My daughter's had a baby, I'm Granny Smith now!" "Come in, Granny Smith! You wonderful idea, you! Come in with your shiny apples." Pears can just fuck off too. 'Cause they're gorgeous little beasts, but they're ripe for half an hour, and you're never there. They're like a rock or they're mush. In the supermarket, people banging in nails. "I'll just put these shelves up, mate, then you can have the pear." … So you think, "I'll take them home and they'll ripen up." But you put them in the bowl at home, and they sit there, going, "No! No! Don't ripen yet, don't ripen yet. Wait til he goes out the room! Ripen! Now now now!" What? … The Carthaginians are attacking? God, I knew they'd do that. What? … They are attacking over the Alps? Damn, I knew they'd do that. What? … They're coming on elephants? … Where'd they get the elephants? There aren't any elephants in Europe. This I got to see … are you sure? … It's not just a typo mistake? Perhaps the Carthaginians are attacking over the Alps and they are in their element? Kind of upbeat, you know. They're coming on fucking elephants, huh. If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid. Day One: Rang bell, cat fucked off. (Oh dear.) Day Two: Rang bell, cat went and answered door. Day Three: Rang bell, cat said he had eaten earlier. (Cheeky bugger.) Day Four: Went to ring bell, but cat had stolen batteries. Final Day – Day Five: Went and rang bell with new batteries, but cat put his paw on bell so it only made a thunk noise. Then cat rang his own bell. I ate food. So I've learnt that the world is 4500 million years old. If you're very religious, then it's not 4500 million years old, it's 6000 years old. One of these is not correct. And I think that if God did exist, he had many children. I think Jesus proves this. Jesus must be the seventh son of God. A-sus, B-sus, C-sus, D-sus, E-sus, F-sus, G-sus. That's just logic. That's just mathematical. And T-sus would always be fucking about. And P-sus does deliveries. C-sus started the Roman Empire. Cae-sus. F-sus, City in Turkey. B-sus was covered in something. Some people applauding there; other people going, "What?" ... B-sus was covered in bees. Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. The main point is, did God tell him to make a boat, or did Noah just use his captain common sense? Cause there are a number of us, if we were somewhere where it was raining and raining and raining and raining and raining and raining and raining and raining, and we had a big pile of wood, some of us might put two and two together and go, "I'm gonna make a bloody boat!" Others might go, "I'm gonna make a hairdresser's", "I'm gonna build a monkey emporium.", "I'm gonna build a big pair of wooden shoes, that would fit a giant." ... But he made a boat. Oh, he was quite sensible! And what did he put on the boat? His family. What else? Animals. Which animals? Any he could find. Did he put two of every animal in the world on the boat? No! How can I be so sure? Try it! [Talking about the royal family] 'Cause they got in at '52, and then immediately the Queen introduced the new … then in the '60s, the Queen decided to change the way that … and she encouraged people to … and in the '70s she completely redistributed … and realised she had too much wealth, so she decided to … then in the '80s, they set up a charity to do … and then they encouraged other people to … and in the '90s, they just totally relaxed, and they said, "Everyone, why don't you …" And then in the 2000s, they've set a great example by … stop me at any point. I think she's got 20 years left. She's in there, but she essentially does what she does on the stamps. We throw sticks at dogs, that's the level we have dogs at. You'd never dream of throwing one for a cat. We throw sticks for dogs, and dogs go, "Oh, he's dropped his stick! I better go and get that.[mimes chasing after the stick] Saw you dropped your stick there, thought I'd bring it back. And you – hang on! [mimes giving the stick back and follows it with eyes as it's thrown again] Did you see me just bring that back? And then you … you dropped it again? This is very weird. I don't know what's going on here. [mimes bringing the stick back again] Now, hang on to it this time, I don't want to piss about all the time. You think I enjoy this? There you … don't fucking throw it!" That's why the third time, when they come back, they won't give it to you. They go, [through clenched teeth] "No … I won't let you take it!" Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal. You have no control over your cat! You can't say to your cat, "Cat, heel! Stay! Wait! Lie down! Roll over!" 'Cause the cat's just gonna be sitting there going, "Interesting words … have you finished?" While you're shouting all this to your cat, your dog's next to you, going … [mimes obeying all commands] "What the hell are you doing? I'm talking to the cat!" "Oh, I'm sorry!" And cats leap up walls! Six foot walls, they just go … *fwang* [mimes cat jumping] Lands perfectly, and turn … turn … and back flip and forward flip, and dismount! They always land perfectly, they never do that sort of wobbly-gymnast … [mimes wobbling] You never see cats on a wall having a problem, do you? You never see a cat going, [mimes tentative walk] "Fucking 'ell! I'm not sure about this …" and a cat on the ground, going, "Easy, Ginger! I'll walk you down!" Beekeepers, yes … they've gotta want to be – "I want to be a beekeeper! I wanna keep bees! Don't wanna let them get away; I wanna keep them! They have too much freedom … I want bees on elastic, so when they get pollen, they come back here! My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him; I wanna walk in their footsteps." And their footsteps were like this: [running wildly from imaginary bees] "I'm covered in bees!" [God, who was James Mason, to Noah] "Noah, stop what you're doing and build me an ark!" [Noah, who was Sean Connery] "I'm working on a speed boat at the moment. Much more exciting. It'll really kick ass, give great photographs for the people in Bible." So then God created the world, and on the first day he created light and air and fish and jam and soup and potatoes and haircuts and arguments and small things and rabbits and people with noses and jam – more jam, perhaps – and soot and flies and tobogganing and showers and toasters and grandmothers and, uh … Belgium. And the second day he created fire and water and eggnog and radiators and lights and Burma and things that go "urh" and … and Colonel Gaddafi and Arthur Negus. On the third day he probably got lists and said, "I can't remember what I've invented now. I've just been ad-libbing so far." "Give us cash! I steal from the rich and give to the poor! I'm trying to be a myth; give us cash!" "No, I'm not gonna give you cash." "Go on, I steal from the rich. Are you rich?" "No, I'm … comfortable." "That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?" I don't have techno-fear, I have techno-joy! I love technology! I love to get a new machine. Every time I get a new machine, I think, "This is the one! I won't have to work again; I've got this thing!" And if you have techno-joy, you get the instructions, you unwrap it, and you throw the instructions out the window! [mimes doing so] Forget them! Fuck 'em! [mimes turning on a computer] On. [mimes typing] I must know how this works, I've used machines before! Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile! If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile! “Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m trippin’? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit your ass down. Can’t face me? Then turn the fuck around!” Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice then sit back and let the world wonder how the hell you did it. "We've just witnessed what I like to call 'misdirected rage'. I believe the technical term is 'being an ass'."- Shigure (Fruits Basket) “This is a revolution, dammit! We're going to have to offend SOME body!” "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be misquoted and used against you." Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, except for maybe a woman on her PMS. And if by chance you happen to encounter both, RUN LIKE HELL! Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them. Don't get mad, get sadistic. If one is to be called a liar,one may as well make an effort to deserve the name. Friendship is like peeing yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth it brings. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. -Robert Bloch Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. -Louis Hector Berlioz Never take life seriously. No one gets out alive anyway. There are no stupid questions, only stupid people. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance? Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is "never try". -Homer Simpson Whatever women do they must do twice as well to be thought of as half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side and it holds the world together. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some you stand behind and kick them in the ass. They key to management is knowing which mules are which. There are worst things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? I refuse to answer the question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. -Douglas Adams I am free from all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. -W.C. Fields I can resist everything except temptation. -Oscar Wilde Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. -Dale Carnegie There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors, -Jim Morrison Mental anxiety, mental breakdown, menstrual cramps, menopause, did you realize how all our problems begin with MEN?! Muhammad Ali had just won yet another match. He got onto a plane and the flight attendant informed him that he must put on his seat belt.He replied, "Superman doesn't need a seatbelt."To which shereplied, "Superman doesn't need a plane either, please put on your seatbelt." Suicide is a way of telling God, "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, I QUIT!" (Cyclops thinks Wolverine may be the shape-shifting mutant Mystique) Wolverine: Hey, hey- it's me! Cyclops: Prove it. Wolverine: You're a dick. Cyclops: (pauses, considering) Okay. (Bobby Drake has just told his family that he's a mutant.) Mrs. Drake: This is all my fault. John Allerdyce/Pyro: Actually, they've discovered that males are the ones who carry the mutant gene and pass it on. So— it's his fault. (points at Mr. Drake.) (The problem with built-in metal claws.) Police Officer: Drop the knives and put your hands in the air. I said, drop the knives! Logan/Wolverine: This is just a misunderstanding— Police Officer: Put the knives DOWN! Logan/Wolverine: I can't. -Wolverine/Logan & Random Police Officer (X-Men) Wolverine: Got any beer? Bobby: This is a school. Wolverine: So that's a no. Bobby: Yeah, that's a no. Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98 percentand K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96 percent but A-T-T-I -T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100 percent and, 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103 percent AND, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118 percent Take The Time To Read Each Sentence |
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